CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Lindsey
I WAS SO confused. Nothing was making sense to me. My timeline was all screwed up and every time someone came to talk to me, I didn’t understand what was going on. The doctor’s said it was a side effect of the concussion. That things would be confusing for a while as I recovered. It wasn’t until Jake came to see me at the hospital that I even remembered that I had the house in town. Then things started to come back to me little by little and one thing that was really clear to me was my relationship with John. I waited all day, hoping he would show up. Why would he? It was very unlikely that he would. I had told him we were over and he called me a coward. I hadn’t had the guts to call him back and tell him that he was right, and now he had walked out of my life forever. “Hey, Lindsey. How are you feeling this morning?” Jake asked as he walked through the door. “I’m still trying to figure things out. Everything is so jumbled in my head, but it’s starting to sort itself out.” “Good. I brought you some breakfast. Figured you wouldn’t want hospital food.” He set down a bag on the table and pulled out a container from the diner in town. Opening it up, my mouth watered at the delicious scents that wafted from the box. Jake set a cup down also. “I got you a coffee too.” I shook my head slightly. “No coffee. My head is pounding. I don’t think that will help.” “No coffee then,” he said, picking up the cup and taking a drink. “So, when are they releasing you?” “I think today. I just have to take it easy for a few days.” “That’s good.” He bit the inside of his cheek, obviously wanting to say something. “What?” “Has John stopped by?” I shook my head. “No. I don’t think he will. The last time I saw him…it wasn’t pretty.” “Yeah, but he doesn’t seem like the kind to just walk away from you. Especially when you’re in the hospital.” I shrugged and dug into my food. “I don’t want to think about it right now.” “Well, lucky for you, I’ll be around to get you anything you need.” “That’s sweet of you, but I don’t want to be a burden.” Jake waved me off. “What are friends for?” “How was your sister’s baby?” I asked, remembering why he had gone out of town. “Good. She had a girl. Tiny little thing. I didn’t realize how small babies are.” “I take it you haven’t been around a lot of them.” “Nope. First one.” “Really? Well, I don’t have much experience with them either.” The nurse walked in, a happy smile on her face that was just a tad too cheerful for my current mood. “Okay, honey. Here are your discharge papers and what you should do over the next few days, things to watch out for, that type of thing. Don’t overdo it. Just get plenty of rest and if your headaches get worse, come in immediately. As for your ribs, they’re going to be tender for a while. You’re going to have to really baby your side for a few weeks. So, no marathons.” I snorted. “Yeah, like that would happen. Exercise and I aren’t on the same page.” “Do you have someone staying with you?” “I’ll be staying with her,” Jake said. “Lucky you,” the nurse winked. I rolled my eyes as Jake turned the color of his red flannel shirt. Getting down to Jake’s truck wasn’t what I expected. I had thought I would have no problem getting there, but between the dizziness, the pounding headache, the bright light, and the pain in my side, I was a mess by the time we got there. When we got back to the house, I was worn out and the walk inside looked daunting, so when Jake offered to carry me, I gladly accepted his help. I just couldn’t do it, no matter how much I wanted to. “Upstairs or downstairs?” Jake asked. I stared at the stairs, wondering how the hell I was going to maneuver them over the next few days with the way I was feeling. The longer I stared at them, the more memories started to assault me. A flash of the men in my house, the feel of my hair being pulled, the scream that tore from my throat as I felt myself falling on the stairs. “Hey, calm down, Lindsey. It’s going to be fine.” Jake was holding me tight to his body, like he was trying to keep me protected. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I could stay in this house. It seemed tainted now. “Not to push, but you’re getting kind of heavy and I need to set you down in the next ten minutes. Upstairs or downstairs?” “Um…I can’t…” My breathing sped up and I felt like I was going to hyperventilate. I couldn’t stay here. I needed to leave. Now. Jake sensed it and took me back outside to his truck, placing me in the front seat. Pulling his phone out, he made a phone call. I couldn’t hear over the heavy breaths leaving my body in a rush. “Hey, calm down,” Jake said as he got in the truck. “We’re going someplace else.” I nodded, feeling better as he pulled out of the drive and headed out of town. I started to panic a little when I saw the direction we were headed. “What are we doing?” “I talked to Sebastian. I saw him in the hospital and he gave me his number, told me to call if you needed anything.” “I don’t understand. Why would he do that?” Jake glanced over at me and frowned. “He’s John’s boss, right?” “Yeah.” He shrugged. “I guess he wanted to be nice. Do you remember his wife stopping by to see you?” “Sort of,” I said, trying to sort through my memories. “Everything about yesterday is fuzzy. I don’t remember a lot of it.” He nodded. “I’m sure that’s normal.” He pulled into John’s driveway where Sebastian was waiting. I looked over at Jake, not sure what to say. Sebastian walked up to the truck and opened the door for me. “Hey, Lindsey. Jake said you were having some trouble at the house.” I nodded, but didn’t say anything else. “John would want you to stay here, so I’ll let you inside and get you set up with whatever you need.” “John would-” I looked at the house and then back at him. “John’s not here?” “No,” he said hesitantly. “He went out of town on work.” “Oh,” I said, trying not to let my disappointment show. He hadn’t even stuck around. “Is he going to be gone long?” Sebastian winced. “It’s a long assignment. It could be a few weeks at least.” Despair set deep in my gut. I couldn’t stay here without John. It just seemed wrong, like I was intruding on his space. We weren’t together anymore. “I think I should just go home. This isn’t right, you know, for me to be here without him.” “John asked me to take care of you while he was gone. There’s no way he would want you staying in that house if you’re not comfortable,” Sebastian said reassuringly. Yet he left and hadn’t even come to see me. So much for how much he loved me. I had been attacked in my house and now knew that he knew it, but he’d gone out of town. That wasn’t the kind of love I wanted. “Come on. It’ll be easier for you to stay here anyway. No stairs and everything is already set up for you. I’ll have Maggie stop by your house later and grab your things.” “Thanks,” I said with a wobbly smile. I got out of the truck with Sebastian’s assistance and slowly made my way inside. Memories of being here with John assaulted me until I felt like crying. I missed him so much and was kicking myself for leaving him without really trying to work things out. I was such an idiot. “I’m going to stay with you for a few days,” Jake said. “I’ll take the couch and make sure that you can get around okay.” “Are you sure? I don’t want to be a burden.” “It’s no problem. I’ll head back to the house in a few days and finish up some stuff around there.” “Thank you, Jake.” “Why don’t you grab what you need?” Sebastian said. “I’ll get her settled and stay with her until you get back.” “Thanks, man.” Exhausted, I didn’t wait for them to finish talking before I headed down the short hallway to the bedroom. Lying on the bed, I was immediately engulfed in John’s scent. “Are you doing okay?” Sebastian asked from the doorway. “Yeah,” I muttered tiredly. “Do you need anything?” I shook my head as my eyes slipped closed. My head was pounding, but being in John’s bed again gave me comfort I didn’t know I was missing. “You know, he’s fucking crazy about you,” Sebastian said quietly. I opened my eyes and looked at Sebastian in confusion. “Then why isn’t he here?” “He said you told him to go.” “What? I never said that. I haven’t spoken to him in weeks.” I thought back, trying to remember if I had talked to him earlier and had a flash of calling him when I was running from the intruders. “I called him. I…” I winced as the pain in my head intensified to an unbearable level. Letting my head fall back, I tri
ed to block out the light in the room, but it was just too bright. The light slowly dimmed and I cracked open my eyes to see Sebastian hanging blankets from the window to block out the light. “I’ll be right back. I’m gonna grab some medicine for you.” I nodded slightly and eagerly took the pills when he brought them. “I don’t understand. Why would he…I never told him to go.” “Maybe the two of you need to talk. He’s out of town for a while, but you should give him a call in the morning. I already let him know that you were going to be staying here.” He walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. I let my eyes slide closed again, this time letting myself drift off as I snuggled against John’s pillow.
✯✯✯✯✯
I sat in bed the next morning, trying to decide if I should call John or not. I wanted to. I wanted to hear his voice and tell him I was sorry for how I ran away, but he left. Maybe he didn’t want me back. Maybe I had waited too long. Chickening out, I sent him a text instead.
Me: Thanks for letting me stay at your place.
I waited for the dots to bounce, but nothing happened. What did I expect? He was working. It’s not like he would be monitoring his phone for any calls from me. I threw the phone on the bed and sulked, waving off Jake when he came in to check on me. I appreciated the help, but I wanted to be alone. I told him to go back home, that I would be fine. I didn’t know when I would be able to go back to the house without thinking about the break-in. How was I supposed to run a bed and breakfast when I couldn’t stand to be in the house? And what was I supposed to do if I couldn’t be in the house? Did I sell? Would I stay around here? I had only been planning to stay because I had the house and some friends, but if I had to sell, what would I do for a living? Later that night, I still didn’t have any answers, but I did get a response from John.
John: Stay as long as you need, princess.
That was it? And he called me princess, but I didn’t know how he was using it. Was he using it sarcastically like he used to? It was so hard to decipher things over text. But I still didn’t have the courage to call him. If he had wanted to talk to me, he would have called me. Besides, he was busy with work. At least, that’s what I told myself.
✯✯✯✯✯
Someone was pulling in the driveway. It was 2:30 in the morning. No one should be pulling in at this hour. I slipped from the bed and pulled the bat out from under the bed that I had picked up in town. It had been a month since I came here and I still wasn’t comfortable being here on my own. Every night, I had to watch TV to fall asleep because every noise had me jumping out of my skin. I tiptoed down the hall, adjusting my grip on the bat as the knob on the door slowly turned. Heart pounding, I slipped quietly to the side of the door and stood with my bat raised in the air. There was no way I was going down this time without a fight. The door slowly pushed open and I held my breath as light filtered in through a crack in the door. Palms sweating, I tightened my fingers on the bat and when a dark figure stepped through the door, I swung with all my might, letting out a scream so piercing that it hurt my own ears. My bat connected with the intruders arm and I swung back a second time when he didn’t drop. He gripped onto the bat, yanking it from my hands with such ease that I stumbled back in fear. Not having anywhere to go, I scrambled backwards until I was tucked in the corner of the room, my arms wrapped tight around my legs. The lights flicked on, temporarily blinding me. When I could finally see, I looked over at the intruder who wasn’t an intruder at all. John was standing in the doorway, pissed with a slight look of pain in his eyes. I jumped up and ran to him, wrapping myself around him. I was just so thankful that he wasn’t here to kill me. At least, I hoped he wasn’t after I hit him with a bat. I felt his hand squeeze me and then I stepped back, anger taking over. “What the hell is wrong with you?” I yelled. “Haven’t you ever heard of a phone?” “This is my house. I wasn’t aware that I needed to call first to say I was coming to my own house.” “But you knew I was here! Why would you just walk in in the middle of the night?” “Uh, gee, I guess because it’s my fucking house and I just got back from a job. I should be able to come home. Or should I have gone to stay at a hotel?” he snapped. “I’m just saying, you should have let me know you would be home. Is that really too much to ask?” He sighed and ran a hand down his face. “Look, it’s late and I’m fucking tired. Can we argue about this in the morning?” “Fine,” I said, turning and striding out of the room. I got myself all tucked into bed when he entered and scowled at me. “That’s my side of the bed.” “Well, I’ve been sleeping here. You’re going to have to move.” “And why would I move from my side in my own fucking bed?” “Because I can’t sleep on that side anymore.” He looked at the ceiling, taking in a deep breath. “And why the fuck not? Is it too lumpy for you? Are there more dust mites on that side?” “No,” I glared at him. “If I sleep on that side and an intruder comes in, he’ll get to me first.” “That won’t do you any fucking good if the intruder has a gun. I’m dead tired. I might sleep right through it.” “Maybe so, but he’ll have to kill you first before he gets to me. That should buy me a few seconds.” “Glad I can be of use to you,” he said, flinging his bag across the room and heading for the bathroom. When he came back in, he flopped down on the bed, completely naked, and shuffled his feet around, looking for the cold spots in the bed. Just like he always did. I smiled to myself at the comfort of it all. Sliding my cold feet over, I touched his legs, letting him know I needed to warm up. He sighed and tucked my feet in between his legs. It wasn’t exactly a declaration of love, but it was a step in the right direction.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Ice
FUCK, HOW DID I end up in this position again? She was wearing her skimpy tank top to bed and a fucking thong. She was sleeping, not on her side of the bed, but over on my side. Her ass was snuggled right up against my cock and my hand was draped over her stomach. It was so wrong, but felt so fucking right. I couldn’t go back there with her. I had done a lot of thinking while I was on the job and I came to the conclusion that I needed to let her go. She had walked away from me way too easily and she didn’t even give me a chance to fucking talk it out with her. That wasn’t the kind of relationship I wanted to be in. Hell, before her, I hadn’t wanted to be in a relationship at all. Then, when she was in the hospital, I just wanted to be there for her. I thought that because she had called me that she needed me. Well, she had, but it turns out that she only called me to help her out. She didn’t actually want me, which she made perfectly clear in the hospital when she told me to leave. I wanted so badly to go find those assholes that hurt her and kill them. But if I did that, I’d be ruining my life. As much as I wanted to stay and protect her, I knew that if I hung around, I wouldn’t be able to get any clarity on our situation. I would try and insert myself into her life again. Sebastian would protect her. He told me he would watch out for her, and I trusted him completely. When he called me and told me that Lindsey couldn’t go back in her house, it was an easy decision to have her go stay at my place. It hadn’t been the same without her there and even if I wasn’t with her, I knew that my place would be an easy adjustment for her. I didn’t like the idea that she would be alone and probably having a shit ton of crap going on in her head, but she hadn’t asked me to stay. Now, she was tucked in right next to me, where she belonged. And it was fucking killing me. I wanted to hold her all morning. I wanted to make love to her. I wanted to believe that it would be us in this bed again, no anger between us. I pulled myself from her warm body and headed out of the bedroom before I got lost in the daydream. After making coffee, I stared out the window, trying to figure out how the hell I was going to have her stay with me and not fuck her. I heard her shuffle in behind me and really looked at her. She looked a hell of a lot better than the last time I had seen her. Looking at her now, I wouldn’t have known that she had been assaulted if I hadn’t see it for myself. “Morning,” I said gruffly. “Morning,” she mumbled. She grabbed a cup of coffee and walked away, heading to the back door to
sit in the back yard. She looked so at peace out there and I couldn’t help but wish that this could be our morning every morning. I went out, sitting beside her on the swing, figuring now would be as good a time as any to figure out where we went from here. “So, what are you thinking?” I asked her. “About what exactly?” So, it was going to be like that. “About what you’re going to do. Are you sticking around?” “I don’t know. I don’t know if I can stay in that house now. I’ve been back there a few times and it gets easier every time, but staying there is a different story.” “You could always hire a manager to stay there.” “I don’t know if that’s possible right now. Start up costs alone are going to be pricey. I’ll just have to see once I get the place furnished.” “Well, you can stay here as long as you need,” I said, hoping to reassure her. “Thanks, I…I didn’t know if you would be okay with it. I mean, Sebastian said you would be, but I mean, after everything that’s happened…” “Yeah,” I said, understanding what she was saying. On the other hand, she was the one that asked me to go. “I’m sor-” “I want-” We both tried to talk at the same time and then laughed at how awkward all this was. “You go first,” I said. “I wanted to say thank you for letting me stay here and I’m sorry about before.” “Before?” I wasn’t sure what she was referring to and I didn’t want to guess. “You know, with the whole running away thing. You were right. I should have stayed and talked with you. Which is probably why I was so mad when you left.” “When I left?” I asked in confusion. “What are you talking about?” “Well, if you truly loved me, you wouldn’t have walked away. Just like I shouldn’t have walked away from you.” “What the fuck are you talking about?” I asked, more than a little pissed off at the moment. “I didn’t walk away from you.” “Well, you weren’t here,” she snapped. “I was lying in a hospital bed and you ran off to play with your guns.” “First off, I don’t play with guns, and second, I wouldn’t have walked away if you hadn’t practically spit in my face when I showed up.” “Well, I wouldn’t have acted like that if you hadn’t shoved your tongue down some trashy actress' throat!” “Fuck, are you gonna bring that up every time we talk? Cuz that’s gonna get really fucking old really fucking fast.” She stood, glaring at me with her arms crossed over her chest. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that shoving your tongue down another woman’s throat wasn’t really that big of a deal. Maybe I should just go find Jake and do the same!” “Why don’t you?” I snapped. “I’m sure he could find you a matching plaid shirt and matching plaid pajamas. He probably even has a plaid comforter!” She bit her lip and looked away. “He does,” I shouted, throwing my hands up in the air. “That’s just fucking perfect. I’m sure you’ll live a happy plaid life and you can even find some fucking plaid wallpaper for you house. You can be the fucking Waltons!” “The Waltons didn’t wear plaid,” she yelled back at me. “What the fuck ever!” I stomped back into the house, slamming the door behind me. So much for a calm, decent conversation.
Ice: A Reed Security Romance Page 19