by M. R. Joseph
I started receiving them my senior year in high school until senior year in college. They consumed me, made me fall in love with her, whoever she is. My ‘letter girl’. That’s what I named her. It’s not like I didn’t search for her or do some investigating, I just always came up with nothing. The need to find her became all consuming. When you know there is a woman out there that seems to see inside your soul and knows you, the real you, not just what people want you to be, you will do anything to find her. It’s what I thought about day and night. When the letters stopped, I felt like I lost something. I missed getting that plain, white envelope. No return address, the post marks were always from different places around our area. I even went as far as contacting the US Postal Service, but they couldn’t help me. It was like a piece of my heart was taken away from me. I know, I sound like a major pussy, but it’s true. No one knows about the letters. I would never tell a soul. I keep them safe, in a box, in my bedside table. I miss them, I miss her. Still, six years later, my heart stops for one brief second when I see a white envelope on my desk in a pile of mail. For me, it’s just wishful thinking that in that pile, on any given day, there would be one addressed to me. A letter full of the words of my soul mate who I longed to hear from again. Then, the disappointment sets in, and in an instant, I feel my heart crush against my chest. She created a place in my heart, and nestled herself inside there. She filled the hole I could never fill or forget.
“What’s up, Adrianna? You need something?” My sister stood in front of me with her hands on her hips.
“I don’t need anything but that slutbag of an assistant principal, who out in the lobby, might need a tetanus shot.”
I know exactly who she is referring to. Val Kelly - and Adrianna despises her. We went to high school together and we dated for a bit. I’m convinced that Val, like so many other girls I dated, were with me to climb the popularity ladder and really didn’t like me at all. It was a way to be noticed and adored. I was nothing more than arm candy. She never really got to know me at all.
She is the assistant principal of our high school and during the months of March till June, she is literally up my ass. She does the scheduling for all the sporting events at the school, so we meet frequently to discuss them. Lucky’s is open all year round. All the larger bars and restaurants here in Ocean City are. She knows what I can and can’t do practice-wise for the team. I have to be here constantly.
My younger brother Fabrizio, or Fab as we call him, is a senior and only buses tables on the weekends and in the summer. He has no idea how to run this place and I would never trust Adrianna to do anything in here but look pretty and take drink orders. My right hand man is my best friend James.
He is my bar manager and also in charge of hiring the entertainment. He is an electrician but gets laid off a lot, so I put him on the payroll here. He works a few nights a week and every weekend. James is an exemplary worker. There have been a few times when my elbow has kept me in constant pain and I have just needed a day to rest it. James took over and made things run smooth.
I get up out of my chair to go see what Val wants from me now.
“I’ll go see what she needs. You stay here. When you two are in the same room, the claws seem to come out.”
“Because my dear brother, she is a total bitch and she has had her sights on you for as long as I can remember. Thank God you didn’t fall for her bullshit and start a solid relationship with her. She’s not the girl for you.”
This I was sure of. Val or any other girl for that matter could never hold a candle to my ‘letter girl’.
I walk out to the lobby and I see Val and she waves her hand in an overly dramatic way. She is very attractive, but I don’t look at her as something I would like to sink my teeth into. She’s Val. We fucked around a few times years ago, but it was just for fun. She strolls up to me in her high heeled clad feet and tight pencil skirt. Yes, don’t get me wrong, I’m still a guy. I look and I’d be a fool not to see how attractive she is.
“Val, what brings you in here today?”
She air kisses my cheeks and I smell the strong, potent odor of whatever perfume she is sporting today.
“Luca, I haven’t seen you in a while. You look fantastic.”
“Val, you just saw me at the game two days ago. What can I do for you?”
“Oh, well it just seems longer, I guess. Any hoo, do you realize that our ten year class reunion is coming up?”
I had forgotten that. I don’t remember much from those years except for baseball and my letters.
“No, I guess I don’t keep track of that sort of stuff but ok, so is that why you’re here? To remind me?”
She cackles and shakes her head at me. The sound instantly makes my cock want to go into hiding.
“No, silly. I am the chair person and I wanted to know if we could use Lucky’s to host the reunion. It will be in August sometime. It’s the perfect place, Luca. Right on the water, live entertainment, and during the busiest time of the year. I think it would be a cash cow for you. What do you say, please Luca?”
She was starting to annoy me with her whining. Women didn’t annoy me, but Val just had this way about her. Whiney and needy. Two things I can certainly do without.
“Ok, Val. I’ll crunch the numbers with James and Papa and I’ll work up something for you, ok?”
Oh God, why does she have to bounce up and down and clap her hands like that? I didn’t just buy her a freaking car and this is absolutely not the fucking Price Is Right.
“Calm down, Val. It’s not a big deal.”
“Oh, Luca it is! Wait till everyone sees what you have done to this place over the years. And wait till they find out Luca Ferro is the owner. Star baseball player for Ocean Sands High.”
“Val, that was a long time ago. People forget what you did in high school.”
“Luca Ferro, you are a hard one to forget. Don’t sell yourself short.”
Why is this woman inching closer to me with her voice all breathy? It’s making me want to turn and run.
“Val, I have to go now. I’m waiting for a delivery, but I’ll get back to you at the end of the week with the menu and pricing, ok?”
“Sounds great, Luca. Thanks again and I’ll see you at Monday’s game.”
Shit! There goes that damn door again.
“Sorry, Luca.” She calls as she exits. I’m glad no one was behind that door when Val opened it. I have to get that fixed. I need to add it to my list. I better get prepared for the dinner rush.
“Adrianna, the dinner rush is about to start. Are you ready?”
“Ugh. I guess. What did slut-o-saurus want?”
I have to laugh at my sister for her way with words. Her pet names for Val are hysterical.
“Apparently, my ten year high school reunion is this year and Val wants to hold it here. What do you think?”
Adrianna is tying her apron and shoving a pen behind her ear.
“I think it’s great. You have done so much with this place since you took over Luca, people won’t recognize it, which is a good thing. We have a lot of competition out there on the Coastal Highway. Papa will love it. It’s great for business.”
She walks away from me and I see my Aunt Teresa, who is my hostess, come in. I wave to her as she goes to the hostess stand and I head back to my office to regroup before the long night ahead. My chair is comfy when I sit in it, which is not very often. Sometimes even though I’m constantly surrounded by people, I feel lonely. I’d love to find a girl, settle down and get married, but my heart just isn’t in it. I enjoy sex and I meet girls all the time here. I’m not one to pick up one of our patrons, but it occasionally happens and it spells trouble when they know where you work, and you are are their immediate disposal. Been there, done that. Sorry, not interested.
It’s times like this, when it’s quiet that I think of her. What is she doing? What is she thinking? What does she do for a living? Why did she choose me? These are questions I’ll never get the answer
s to, but yet in my mind I’ll never give up hope of finding them.
Seriously, my phone is ringing already? I just sit down at my desk and pick up the receiver.
“Leighton Parks.”
“Do you have something you want to tell me?”
It’s M.J. One of my best friends from Ocean City, where I grew up.
“Well, that depends on what you want to know.”
“Did Michael’s wife sign the damn papers?”
She asks me this question every week, on the same day, at the same time, always. I sigh and take a sip of my Italian roast coffee.
“Let me ask you a question. Don’t you think after oh, I don’t know six months or so of you asking me the same question, if she did you wouldn’t be the first one I’d call?”
M.J. means well, she really does. She just wants to see me happy and settled down like she has. She and her husband run a very successful tattoo shop on the boardwalk. That’s how they met, during her wild and crazy days. Now she’s one hell of an artist.
“Blah, blah, blah, Leighton. Same shit, different week. The bitch has had them for six months. You would think she would just sign them since she already has a boyfriend and wants to marry him.”
I have to agree. I feel so bad for Michael. His wife of three years cheated on him, several times. He actually caught them, in their bed. He told me that’s the reason he moved out. He couldn’t stand staying there knowing what transpired. He moved in with his friend and he is apparently a very private person, so that’s why I never go there. Besides, I like our little love nest at my place.
“I know, Molly Jo. It’s not like I can force her to sign them, and neither can Michael. I just have to be patient.”
“Well, you are a better person than me. So when are you leaving for your conference?”
“Two days. I have a busy day ahead and I have to go home and pack. So what’s going on at home?”
M.J. usually gave me the scoop about what’s going on in our hometown. I try and visit every couple of months. My parents miss me, my brother and my friends miss me too, but I’m just so busy with this job. If I’m not working till God knows when at night, I’m at some kind of function for it. Sometimes it’s a function for the mayor or a charity. It’s very demanding but it’s what I signed up for. I’ll be missing the latest one because my publisher wants me in D.C. to meet with her marketing people. Everyone at work thinks I’m going to a wedding out of town, my friends think I’m going somewhere for work. I like my secret.
No one knows I’m an author. I know some of my friends have read the series and we have discussed the books. I laugh and act like I’m just another fan of the series. I like to hear what their views on them are. It’s actually very cool to get first hand, unbiased feedback.
“Well, did you get your mail yet today?”
I riffle through it on my desk. There are all kinds of stuff in this pile.
“What exactly am I looking for, M.J.?”
“Look for a blue envelope with your name on it.”
I keep looking through the pile and I finally come across it. It’s address to me at work:
The return address label says Ocean Sands High School, Class of 2003.
Oh, shit! Could it be? The envelope has already been ripped open by my assistant. I slowly pull it out.
“Leighton, did you open it?”
“Jesus M.J., give me a second. It took me a minute to find it. Do you know how much mail I get a day?”
I slowly pull the invitation out of the envelope and read it.
It’s hard to believe it’s been ten years. High school was good to me. I really can’t complain, that much. Except for one thing. Luca. My cell beeps and I know from the text tone it’s Michael.
“M.J., yes I got it. I’ll be there but I have to go. Michael just texted me. I’ll call you when I get back from my trip. Love you.”
“Have a safe trip and I’m still going to ask you the same question next week so be prepared. Love you too.” She hangs up and I immediately go to my texts. I was right, it was from Michael.
hey hotness. dinner in my office at 8? its Friday so no one will b here. u know the drill.
Oh God, yes! I’ll need some of him before I go away for a few days. He takes a lot of trips so I’m used to it. His poor, sick Grandmother in Milwaukee. Cancer sucks, plain and simple. He goes to see her all the time. They are very close. She has been sick for as long as I can remember. Just the thought of what he’s going to do to me on top of that desk of his makes my panties wet. This day better fly. I send a quick text back.
i’ll b there. u can count on it. will there b dessert ;)
I await his reply. It doesn’t take long and in the meantime I’m rubbing my thighs together like a freaking cricket.
yes there will b dessert. all i can tell u is that its long, and hard, and has something sweet and juicy on the inside for you to feast on. i guarantee u will be licking ur lips after you taste it.
Holy fucking shit! This man means business and I like it. I send a quick one back.
I can’t wait 2 devour it xoxo
This day needs to go into hyper speed. I have three conference calls, a meeting with H.R., a meeting with Katherine, and I have a lunch meeting with the mayor’s press secretary for an article we are doing on the November campaign. I see Grace left me a message and I’ll have to call her back when I get back from my trip.
Grace is another one of my best friends from home. We talk even more than M.J. and I do. She doesn’t ask about Michael unless I bring him up first. I send her a quick e-mail about how I’m preparing for my trip, that I got the reunion invitation, and I’ll call as soon as I get back.
My day goes relatively smooth. All my meetings go as planned and Katherine gives me the low down on the sales of the book thus far. Number three is on the best seller’s list of contemporary romance. I’ll take it. Katherine is suave, sophisticated, rich, beautiful, and drinks like a fish. I love her. I’m comfortable around her. She’s like the much older, big sister I never had. We drink Manhattans in the middle of her office like we are on fucking Mad Men.
Her shoes are always off under her desk when no one is expected for an appointment. She’s one of a kind. I sit down on one of her wingback chairs in her office and we look at all the reviews and numbers of the book sales.
“Leighton honey, this book is going to make you a very rich woman someday, my dear. Keep it up and we are looking at half a million copies by the end of the fiscal year. Now, you have your itinerary for D.C. They know you only as Brianna Maxwell, so don’t worry about your true identity. Have some fun while you are there. Go get drunk and laid by some politician. When’s the last time you went out on a date?”
I felt like telling her I don’t date. I’m seeing Michael and we are going to live a great life as soon as his wife signs the damn papers.
“I don’t have time to date, Katherine. You keep me too busy.” I smile at her so she knows I’m joking. I’m kind of not, but I really don’t care.
“Well, make the time, sweetheart. You are a beautiful girl and the object of many men’s desires. I watch and I see how people respond to you. How men are drawn to you. You have told me a hundred times about the plain Jane, ugly duckling story of you in high school, and I still don’t believe it.”
I laugh but it’s true, that is my story, or was my story.
“Ironically enough, I received an invitation to my class reunion today. It’s in August and I’m going.”
She took a sip of her Manhattan. “Damn right you’re going, doll. You have weeks and weeks of vacation time that you have never used. I say take the month of August off. I’ll sign the request right now. When’s the last time you were home for a visit?”
“February.”
“Well then, it’s settled. I work you too hard and you deserve to go have fun with your friends and family and just relax.”
I was about to protest but the last time I took any sort of time off was three days in December s
o I could go back home for Christmas. I do miss my family. My brother Wes has visited me a few times since then and my parents came for Thanksgiving but it’s not enough. This will be great. I thank Katherine and tell her I’ll see her in a few days.
At eight, I close up my office and grab my briefcase. Before I stroll down to Michael’s office a few floors below me, I stop at in the ladies’ room to freshen up and remove some unwanted clothing from beneath my pencil skirt. Yes, my panties. I took off my panties. Mr. Woodchuck will get quite a surprise tonight.
I freshen up my breath and apply a bit of lip gloss and some bronzer to my cheeks. Michael likes my skin when it glows, mostly after sex, but none the less, glowing. I feel like I am literally skipping down the hall once I get off the elevators. I approach his office and I am prepared to rip open my shirt, expose my black lace push up bra, hike up my tight skirt and give him a big surprise. Except when I get to his office door, it’s me who gets the surprise when I enter.
I see James walking through the kitchen door of the restaurant as he makes his way to the bar. He has something in his hand. I stroll over to the bar and whatever he has, is being waved in the air.
“What do have there, buddy?”
He’s smirking and I’m curious to see what it is.
“An invitation to our reunion. Did you get yours yet?”
My eyes roll. “Of course I got one. Val hand delivered it to me hot off the press.”
James laughs as he sets it down and goes to the register to count his bank before the night begins.
“Val has had it bad for you since God knows when. Did she really find it necessary to bring it here personally? She wants your dick, pal.”