by M. R. Joseph
She puts her feet down and picks the book up from the table.
“Luca, you don’t understand, it’s not like the others. If you would just give it a chance, you’ll see.”
“You are bat shit crazy, little sister, if you think that I will waste my time on that. It ruined me. She ruined me.”
She holds the book out in front of me and points to the cover.
“You see the name on it. It says a novel by Leighton Parks, not Brianna Maxwell. Maybe you should take your head out of your ass and just do me a small favor and read the acknowledgments. You will be surprised at what you find.”
She holds the book to my chest and taps on it.
“You are a stubborn man, Luca. You never were before it all happened, but you know what, it did happen. I know you are forced to deal with it every day, and I’m sorry, but like papa says, if you stop thinking, and listen to your heart, it will take you to where you belong.”
Never in my life would I ever have thought of taking the advice of my little sister, and part of me doesn’t want to. I throw caution to the wind and for the first time in a long time I listen to my heart hoping to get the answers I seek.
I get home from work and I sit and stare at the book on my coffee table. I stare at it for an hour. It’s agonizing and I want to burn it, but I can’t. My curiosity is relentless, and I’m still weak. Weak from the whole idea of her words on those pages, so I give in. I open it to where Adrianna told me to, and I lean back and begin to read.
Acknowledgments
I could sit here and write a million thank you’s to all the people who made this book happen, but you already know who you are, so I’ll just go with my heart on this one.
I want to thank the person who has always been my inspiration. The one person who really knew my soul, captured my heart so long ago, and changed my life, read my words, and let them change him. Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever thought I would find a love that knew no boundaries, one that lifted my spirits so high, I could almost touch heaven. The person who made me feel like I could do anything, be anything, just by loving me.
Love makes you do crazy things when you’re young, it makes you do even crazier things when you are older. It makes you soar, it makes you dizzy, it makes you joyful, boastful, lustful, euphoric. It makes you do things you never thought you could do or would do. It can make you lie, it can make you cheat fate. It can also bring you to a place where you feel warm, safe, needed, wanted, even when you don’t feel any of those things. When a person comes along that makes you feel like you matter, that it’s ok to be different, not to be afraid of who you really are, you no longer feel aloof, unwanted, unfulfilled.
A great love only comes around once in a lifetime. I believe in that. I believe when you fall in love, it will be forever, whether or not you are together, it’s always written in the stars, and those stars will always bring your paths together.
I held that love in my hands once and cherished it. I still feel the crushing blow of losing that love knowing I will never fill the hole that he left. I am forever incomplete without him. When you find that person who completes your soul, hold onto them with both hands. Everyone else will pale in comparison because that one will forever hold your heart.
And now I sit and stare at the pages again, and I read her words that are meant for me.
Well here I am in one of the biggest book stores in Philadelphia. It’s my big book signing, finally. There are a lot of people here waiting for me to sign my first book in my new series called The Forgiving Chronicles. Number one on the New York Best Sellers list, and it’s more than I could possibly imagine.
My friends and family are here. They all came to see me, including Adrianna. Katherine and Matt are my right hand people, keeping things in order. They are making sure everything runs smoothly. They are my touchstones.
After I sign for about four hours and take pictures with my fans, I get to read an excerpt from my book followed by a Q & A session. My family and friends take up the first two rows, followed by the press, and the rest is standing room only. I’m a little nervous, but this is a dream come true for me. I still feel alone, even with a hundred people in the room with me.
I’m not the same girl I was before all this started. I think I’ve done pretty well these past seven months, but I’m just kidding myself. All this, it’s a distraction of sorts, my temporary fix. People ask me if this is all I’ve ever wanted and dreamed of and I say yes, and I lie right through my pearly whites. My bed is still cold and my heart is still in shambles. I wish it wasn’t, but I’d be lying again if I said I took my advice and moved on. I haven’t. I’m a believer in lots of things, but I’m not on the ‘time heals all wounds’ band wagon. I’m not in the mood to put on my big girl panties and deal. It’s not how I’m rolling these days. You can’t just stop time, and make it all go away. For now, it’s time to put on my fake happy face and let the masquerade begin.
Katherine steps up to the podium and introduces me.
“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome. I’d like to introduce to you New York Times Bestselling author Leighton Parks.”
I hear the cheers and the whistles from my friends and family, and I step up to the microphone to read a passage from my book.
“Thank you all for coming. This is a passage from book one of my new series The Forgiving Chronicles:
He takes my hand and tells me everything will be perfect. That a love like ours can never be erased. We are two souls destined to be with one another, planted firmly in the soil of two hearts becoming one, and his touch, oh his touch, how it sends my heart on fire. He is mine, my beloved, and I am his. We sit in the valley and watch the stars, marvel in the sheer joy of being together. It’s like the earth was created for us to live on and the moon was made for us to gaze upon, and be together forever.
The applause happens again and I am so glad that part is over, but now for the real nail biting stuff.
Katherine comes back to the mic and makes an announcement.
“Ok. Now Ms. Parks is going to answer some questions. Please keep them brief and nothing personal. Thank you.”
The press begins to raise their hands and I call on them one at a time, even though they are calling out my name together. I point to a woman reporter from a newspaper here in Philadelphia.
“Thank you, Ms. Parks, Sarah Jeffries, Philadelphia Inquirer. With all the success of the first series, Letters of Love, how do you think you’ll measure up to them with the new series?”
“Thank you for your question. I don’t think it’s about measuring up, or trying to outdo. I needed to phase myself into something new, and the Letters series had unfortunately run its course.”
I point to a gentleman now.
“Ms. Parks, Chris Tucker, Philly Style Magazine. Can you tell us what your inspiration was for this series and did you carry it over from your last?”
“That’s a tough one to answer, Chris. Can I get back to you on that?” A hear a few chuckles from the audience and I’m getting ready to point to someone else to ask me something when I hear someone call out.
“Just answer the question, Ms. Parks. Did you carry over your inspiration from one series to another? Was your muse the same?”
I look and I’m not sure where the voice is coming from. I squint my eyes and I see a figure step out from behind a bookcase. A figure that once was a dream that seemed so far away, one that I had touched, held in my hands, and in my heart.
Luca.
My family and the girls turn around to look at him then they look to me. Their mouths are so wide open, they’d catch flies.
“Um, well, did you read the first series?”
“As a matter of fact I did. I read them all in two days. All four books. They seemed quite familiar to me.”
He read the books.
“And have you read the first book in the new series?”
“Yes I have. In six hours. I read a lot.”
“You do, do you?”
&nbs
p; “Yes, ma’am, I do.”
“Well, let me ask you first, who are your inspirations?”
He comes closer to where I stand, and I feel my heart speed up, and my hands shake as though they have a mind of their own.
“My inspirations are the greats. Poe, Lord Byron, Keats, Browning, and my main man Shakespeare.”
The man before me has been affecting me this way since I was sixteen, and to this day, that affect never gets old.
“But my greatest inspiration was a girl who wore a baseball cap and dark sunglasses everywhere she could. She was plain, and she thought she was ordinary, but she wasn’t, she was extraordinary. She just didn’t know it.” He leans his hand on a nearby chair and crosses his ankles. He is composed, relaxed, and speaks softly, but loud enough for me to hear.
“See, Ms. Parks, I realized at an early age that hiding who you truly are can mean you may be missing out on the would haves, could haves, should haves. That’s the mistake we all make. We are entitled to it, to make mistakes. It’s in our human nature to screw up. Sometimes we just have to get on the right track to where we know the difference between the haves and the have nots. Taking the chance, risking the fate, whatever you want to call them, they can all have consequences, like in love.”
“What about love, sir? What kind of consequences does love have?”
“All sorts, Ms. Parks, but you truly don’t know if they are bad or if they are good consequences. If you never test the waters, jump in feet first, you may never know what they could be. You take the good and the bad, you fight for it, with all that you have, with every ounce of your being, and you go for it. That’s what my inspiration did. Took the chance, risked it all. My inspiration dove in not knowing what was beneath the surface, and you know what?”
“No, I don’t. Enlighten me.” He comes to the stage, hops on and stands next to me at the podium. He takes my hand and holds it, delicately, and it’s like he’s holding it for the first time. He brings it up to his cheek, caresses it against him, and I fall apart at the seams.
“I read in a book somewhere that love can make you do crazy things. It makes you soar, it makes you dizzy, it makes you joyful, boastful, lustful, euphoric. It makes you do things you never thought you could do or would do. It can make you lie, it can make you cheat fate. It can also bring you to a place where you feel warm, safe, needed, wanted, even when you don’t feel any of those things. Do you believe in that, Ms. Parks?”
“I should believe it; I wrote it.”
“That you did, but do you believe that when two people find each other, and fall in love, that it’s written in the stars? Are you a believer that when you fall in love it will be forever?”
He kisses my hand, then one finger at a time, and I’m a believer. I am a believer in love.
“Yes. Yes I do.”
“Thank God.” Luca smiles at me, grabs my face, and kisses me with all the love the world has to offer, and I kiss him back with all the love I have in my heart. He pulls away and wipes the tears that are gently dropping down my face.
“I love you so much, Leighton.”
“I love you too, Luca. I always have, and I always will.”
“You are the one whose heart I hold.”
“Hey, that’s my line.”
“Oh really, I thought it was mine from my letter girl.”
“I am your letter girl, since the first stroke of my pen.”
“Good. It’s always nice to have a face to go along with the name.”
His arms are draped across me, spooning me, his front to my back. Our hands are intertwined and I look down at my beautiful ring. I’m marrying the love of my life tomorrow. I’m marrying the one whose heart holds mine. The night of my book signing when he forgave me and told me he loved me, was nothing compared to what happened afterwards. Our family and friends embraced us both, congratulating us on finally putting an end to the drama, and placing the past behind us.
That night back at my apartment, we hardly made it through the door. Bodies slammed against walls, and sofas, and counter tops, and bathroom sinks. Our need for one another… undeniable, not even a question as to how good we are together. In bed, or out of it. We are like a s’more. I’m the marshmallow, he’s the sweet chocolate, and we melt together, and it’s hot. The way he touches me, the way we connect with one another, it’s something I want to feel for the rest of my life, and I will, starting on the beach in front of Lucky’s at eleven a.m. tomorrow. After our sex-a-pades in my apartment that night, I threw on an old t-shirt and Luca hung out in his boxer briefs. I’m kind of glad he didn’t have any other clothes with him, better yet make that I’m very glad he didn’t have anything else to wear. Luca Ferro, all six foot of him, tanned, and toned stands before me in his underwear, his ‘V’, waiting to be licked by me…again. I hopped on the counter as Luca searched through the refrigerator for something to make for us to eat. He rattled off each item to see if it was what I was in the mood for. He asked if I wanted eggs, he asked if I wanted fruit, he asked if wanted chocolate milk, and finally after my umpteenth no, he emerged from the depths of the inside of the refrigerator and closed the door, shut his eyes, and sighed. Luca then made his way to stand in between my legs, pulling my knees apart.
“Well then what do you want, sweetheart?” He grazed his knuckles across my cheek and I just stared into the sea of dark brown.
“I don’t know. I can’t decide.” He took my hand and brought it up to his mouth, kissing each tip of my fingers. His signature move, by the way.
“How about I help you decide what you want?”
“What did you have in mind?” I asked seductively while raising my eyebrows up and down. He took my other hand and held it in his.
“How about we spend the rest of our lives together, have beautiful babies, build a life, and live happily ever after?”
I chuckled at him. “I thought you were going to give me an idea on what to eat. I’m starving.”
“I didn’t forget about that, but can we please keep your appetite on hold for a minute.”
“Sure. So to answer your question, do I want all those things you said? Eventually, yes.”
“Eventually? Hmm.”
So I had this beautiful girl in front of me, the one who has loved me for half of her life, in an oversized t-shirt and tiny panties. She told me that she wants what I want someday, eventually. Eventually? I’ll eventually her ass. When I took her hand in mine that night, after I pondered what she meant by eventually, I figured her eventually was going to come a lot sooner as I slipped the diamond on the forth finger of her left hand. She kept her eyes shut, tightly after I did, and I was nervous. Nervous because she shut her eyes, and swallowed hard, not really knowing what was coming next.
“Leighton, look at me baby.” She shook her head and refused. That’s really when the panic set in.
“Please, baby. Open your eyes.”
When she did the tears were already there, shining in her eyes, making them look even more green than ever.
“Marry me, Leighton. Let’s start the eventually now.”
Her reply was a whisper behind her tears and she just simply nodded yes. She threw her arms around my neck and I held on to her as though she would slip through my fingers if I let her go.
“I love you, Luca. I love you, I love you, I love you. I will be your wife and I will make you the happiest man on earth.”
“I don’t doubt that, baby, you already do.”
I’ll remember that moment for the rest of my life.
In less than twenty four hours she will be my wife. I get to hold her like this every night, and wake up holding her every morning. She is the missing piece to my puzzle. The one person who was put on this earth to be mine. To live the rest of her life by my side. To love with, argue with, laugh with, make a family with. The one person I searched for to fill this empty space within my heart. My soul mate. The words she says and writes to me out do the greats. She is my Browning, my Lord Byron, my Shelley, my Shake
speare, all rolled into one. I needed to have the faith and the courage to accept that there is that certain someone out there, roaming this earth, searching for the other half of them, and we found each other. I found her, my Leighton, and together we will conquer love.
15 months later
“I am not having this baby in this restaurant, Luca. We have to get to a hospital.”
“There’s no time sweetheart. The baby’s head is crowning. Right, McKenna?”
“He’s right sweetie. It’s right there, so what I need for you to do is push when I tell you to, ok?”
“Fine. It figures. I’m having our baby on a dining table at Lucky’s. I can’t wait. Ohhh, ouch, ouch, ouch. That fucking hurts. I want the drugs, now. Someone go find me a drug dealer on the street and buy me something, oh please. Owww.”
“Baby, you have never taken drugs in your life. You are so strong, you can do this.”
“Fuck off, Luca. This is all your fault.”
“My fault? If you would have told me you were having contractions all damn day, you’d be in a cushy hospital, instead of on my new tablecloths.”
“I didn’t want to spoil James and Grace’s wedding day. I thought it was freaking gas.”
“Oh God, woman. You drive me crazy.”
“Don’t call me crazy, I’m your wife, who’s having your baby in the middle of a reception at your restaurant.”
“Don’t cry honey, I’m sorry, and it’s our restaurant.”
“How’s she doing , Luca?”
“Kenzie, I’m sorry to tell you this and I know you have another four months to go before this happens to you, but It fucking hurts. Get the drugs, Kenz, for the love of Pete, get the drugs.”
“Fuck a duck. Wes, get me out of here.”
“Ok, honey. Leightybug, you hang in there. I love you so much little sis. Let me go take care of my wife before she passes out.”
“I love you too, Wes… Ahhh.. son of a…”
“Ok, Leighton, give me a push, one big one ok?”
“McKenna you’re a Cardiologist, are you qualified enough to - Ow, ow…. oh sweet mercy. Luca, baby talk to me, talk me through this pain, before I split in two.”