And after all these years, he was still the only man I’d ever completely trusted. I trusted Jake as well, but there was a different connection between Matt and I, and he was the only one I’d ever been able to open up to about my dad and how messed up I was on the inside. To feel safe and secure sharing even the most painful parts of me with someone I trusted with my whole heart.
Until last year when even he’d shaken me to my core. And with one whisper of betrayal, my safety net had been yanked away.
Matt hadn’t exactly cheated... that honor belonged to Nikki, but he’d been a willing participant. He’d been the hussy who’d stolen my father away and broken up my family. The dirty mistress whose selfishness destroyed a relationship and affected everyone within blast range. And once again that someone had included me.
And maybe that was part of why my anger for him had lingered on as long as it had. My dad’s betrayal had damaged something deep inside me I didn’t think would ever be whole again. And though I’d never forgive my father for what he’d done, I was willing to forgive Matt. I had to. Not having him in my life was too painful.
“Yeah. Shitty dad issues rearing their head again,” I said on a sigh. “But you aren’t going to do that again, so it’s a moot point.”
“Exactly.” He gave me a sharp nod.
“Exactly.”
Silence settled over us, the waves lapping at the shore the only sounds surrounding us. Matt looked back at his driftwood coffee table base.
“You really think I could make a business out of being a handy man and making these for people?”
Nodding enthusiastically, I blew out a sigh. “Yes. Seriously. So much yes.”
He rubbed his chin for a moment, and then turned to me, eyes lit up like the sun. “Matt’s Manly Masterpieces!”
“What?” I snorted.
“The name of my business!”
“Oh, God no! Terrible!” I burst into laughter.
“Terrible?”
“So terrible. Keep trying.”
“Damn it. Thought I had it.” His laugh merged with mine.
“We’ll think of the right name.”
His laughter petered off, and a shy look softened his face. “Do you... do you want to get a drink together after work? I feel like I’ve barely seen you in days.”
“Yeah. That sounds good. I should be done by nine.”
“Okay.” He smiled, and I tried to put a halt to the cartwheels starting up in my stomach again.
Settle down, Jo. It’s just friend drinks, not a date.
“Okay.” I returned the smile and then turned back toward the house. “I need to get some water. Want anything?”
“Nah, I’ve got water out here, but thanks. Back to work for this guy. I’ve got a new business to start and I need some products to display!”
“Don’t hurt yourself, Bob Villa.”
“Shut it. I could run circles around Bob Villa.”
“Just don’t lop off a finger. I’ve got errands to run today, and I’ll hit the grocery store and get us some supplies. Text me a list. You’ve certainly earned whatever the hell you want after all of this work you’ve done.” I waved a hand at my roof.
“Captain Crunch!” he shouted after me. “And Doritos! And maybe some ice cream!”
“How the hell are you not five hundred pounds?” I shouted back as I made my way up the stairs.
“And bacon!”
“I’d never forget the bacon. Just text me the damn list!”
With one last wave I went back into the cabin, pressing my back against the wall once I’d made it safely out of his sight line.
Drinks with Matt tonight. No big deal. We’d done this hundreds of times. But everything felt different now after what I’d thought was an almost kiss. What I’d thought was maybe the start of something new. But seeing the nonchalant way he acted around me today only drilled home the fact that my feelings remained one-sided. That kiss on the court held all my desires, and none of his.
Even though the thought of spending an evening at his side seemed like torture at the moment, I knew if I was going to get past this again, I had to rip it off like a band-aid. Force myself to stay at his side until the feelings subsided and my brain accepted what I’d always known.
Just friends.
CHAPTER TEN
MATT
“Dude. What is up with you?” Aaron asked.
I stared at the old drink ring stain on the wooden bar at the Sister Bay Bowl and shrugged. “Nothing.”
“Nothing? This is the least amount of words I’ve ever heard from you in a five-minute span. Like ever.”
I looked up to see his blue eyes boring into me, a quizzical look scrunching up his face.
“Nothing, man. Just tired. Been working hard on Jo’s place is all.”
The same scrunched look remained while he stared me down.
Laughing, I lifted my hand. “Promise. All good.”
His eyes narrowed a little, and he stroked the long red beard that swallowed up most of his face. “Mmmhmm.”
“Just tired,” I lied. I couldn’t very well tell him the real answer.
I almost kissed Jo, and she bolted away and then avoided me like I had the plague for three days.
“All right, then,” he said, but his tone lacked conviction.
Attempting to pretend like everything was normal between us, like she hadn’t shattered my soul when she’d run off from our almost kiss, I had done my damnedest today to act unaffected. I’d put on a performance worthy of an Oscar while I’d played the part of the old friend. The old friend who wasn’t dying to press her back into the sand and cover her lips with mine.
But if keeping her in my life meant spending the rest of mine pretending we were just friends, then that’s exactly what I planned to do. Would it be painful? Oh God, yeah. Excruciating? For a while. Okay, a long while. But eventually I’d grow numb to it and being next to her without pulling her into my arms wouldn’t feel like a task more difficult than scaling Mount Everest with my bare hands. It would be painful, yes, borderline unbearable, but I would endure it until I could quiet the screaming inside me.
I’d done it when I was fourteen, and I could do it again.
I hoped.
When I’d invited her to drinks tonight, it had been part of my ruse to act normal, to keep from spooking her into avoiding me again. But the minute the words had come out of my mouth I’d wanted to shove them back in. A night of just the two of us sipping on cocktails was more than my body could endure this soon after I’d almost gotten to kiss her. A temptation too strong while I still felt the power of her pull.
So, I’d called in reinforcements. Tony and Aaron. Jake and Cassie were out of town for a couple nights or I’d have dragged them here, too. The more bodies I could keep between me and Jo the better. And I’d decided to take our evening up to the Sister Bay Bowl, the local bar and bowling alley, because if anything could douse the attraction I had toward Jo, it was bowling shoes.
My gaze drifted over to the door again, then up to the clock hanging on the wall. She should be here any minute. When I looked away from the clock, I saw Aaron’s interrogating stare boring into me.
“What?” I defended against his silent accusation.
His eyes narrowed into slits. “Nothing.” But his gaze remained, and I worried any minute he’d figure out what thoughts were running a marathon through my mind.
The door opened, and I whipped around to see Jo walking in.
My God is she beautiful.
And not in that overdone kind of way like so many girls I saw these days. Her beauty was natural. Effortless. No harsh makeup chiseled lines into her face masking the features I didn’t think could ever be improved. When she looked over and saw me staring, I forced a smile and waved. It was time to step back out onto the stage and put on another performance where I starred as the platonic best friend. Too bad it had quickly become my award-winning role.
“Hey, Jo!” I called.
S
he smiled back and walked over, sliding into the stool beside me. “God, I need a drink. My feet are killing me.”
“Hey, Jo!” Aaron leaned around me and rapped her on the shoulder.
“Hey, Aaron! Didn’t know you guys were coming out tonight.”
“Hell, yeah! Now that you two have a sweet pad in Sister Bay we’re planning on coming to town more often.”
“No complaints here.” She smiled and gave him a fist bump.
“Jo! You made it!” Tony came in from the bowling alley part of the building and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, giving her a tight squeeze.
“Hey, Tony!”
He sat down beside her. “You guys want to split a pitcher?”
“In,” Jo answered, and Aaron and I nodded as well.
“Sweet.” Tony flagged down the bartender and ordered a pitcher. When it arrived, we filled our chilled pint glasses and raised them for a toast.
“To old friends,” Aaron said.
“To old friends,” we echoed, and I felt that anxiety wind the knot in my stomach.
Friends. Ugh. That was not the title I wanted for the perfect woman sitting beside me. But I smiled and sipped on my beer with the rest of them, forced to endure my silent torment.
Since returning to her life, I’d seen Jo in a new light, and it was like someone had ripped open the curtains in a dark room. And this new light was blinding. And now that the curtains were open, I was desperate to yank them back shut and hope I could forget how amazing everything looked bathed in the light.
When we finished our cheers, I snorted when I saw the white foam clinging to Aaron’s mustache. “Man. You have got to shave that thing.” I laughed. “Not only do you look like a yeti, but now you look like a yeti with rabies.”
Aaron pushed out his upper lip and looked down at the remnants of beer still hanging out on the bushy beard.
“Can’t shave it,” he said, then wiped the foam away. “Chicks dig it.”
Jo snorted, then covered her nose. “Oh my God. You almost made beer come out my nose.”
“What? They do?” Aaron defended.
Jo shook her head. “No, Aaron. They most certainly do not. Have you ever made out with someone sporting a bristle brush on their chin?” She pulled a face, and I tried to keep mine from following suit. Not from the vision of Matt sucking face with another yeti, but the thought of Jo kissing someone with a beard. Someone who wasn’t me.
“Agreed,” Tony answered. “They like us smooth as a cue ball.” He swiped a hand across his shaved head then scrubbed it down the smooth skin on his face. “This is what chicks dig.”
“I look tough.” Aaron frowned.
Jo leaned across me and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You look like a hipster, Aaron. Hipsters aren’t known for being tough.” Jo chuckled. When she retreated back to her seat, her breasts brushed across my arm and I leapt up off my stool.
“What the hell?” she said, wide eyes staring at me while I bumped into the juke box behind me.
“Sorry, I uh...” I struggled for an answer. Any answer that didn’t end with “your tits touched me and my fourteen-year-old-self invaded my body.”
“You okay?” she asked.
“Yes. I just... leg spasm. Charlie horse!” I said it too loud, excited for an answer that made sense. Well, kind of made sense.
“I fucking hate those!” Tony clenched his fist. “I had one for almost an hour last week. Torture. They’re like torture!”
“You need more potassium,” Aaron said decidedly. “Bananas. You should eat more bananas.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I reached down and rubbed the fake cramp in my hamstring.
“Potassium prevents muscle cramps, and bananas are high in potassium. Therefore, you need to munch on some bananas, dude.”
Wondering how in the hell my life had crumpled into a faked injury and a conversation at the bar revolving around my consumption of bananas, I just shook my head. “How in the hell do you even know that?”
“Saw it on Facebook.” He shrugged, then took another sip of his beer.
When he set down the pint, I rolled my eyes and gestured to his lip. “Seriously, man. Shave that thing. You look like you’ve got rabies again.”
Aaron just shrugged and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. “Whatever. You’re just jealous you can’t grow a beard like this.”
“That is not what’s going on here.” I laughed.
Jo jutted a finger at me. “Don’t you ever, ever grow a beard, Matt. I’ll throw you out on your ass.”
“Deal, Roomster.” I smiled, trying to regain my coerced composure. When she crossed her legs and flipped her long hair over her shoulder, I felt myself sliding back down the time warp to eighth grade. And there was only one thing that could stop my mind from doing things to Jo that I knew she’d smash my head into the bar for thinking.
Bowling shoes.
“Who’s up for bowling?” Clapping my hands, I rubbed them together.
“In!” they cheered in unison.
Desperate to get Jo into a hideous pair of brown and orange bowling shoes to help me simmer down, I grabbed my pint and the pitcher and hurried into the bowling alley. The shoes were stacked along cubbies in the wall; the way our safe, small town did bowling shoe rental. Just help yourself and don’t steal them. The Door County way.
We each grabbed a pair of bowling shoes and picked out our balls from the assortment along the wall. When Jo sat down to put on her shoes, I counted the seconds until she’d be wearing what would most certainly be the kryptonite to my raging hormones. But after she tightened the Velcro and rose, I struggled to suppress my groan.
Damn it!
Even in her hideous bowling shoes, she still looked gorgeous. Her ripped skinny jeans clung to her curves, and when she pulled off her leather jacket, my gaze raked over the breasts filling out her white tank top just right.
Why would I have expected anything less? Hell, Jo would look cute even if she was rocking an orange beard like Aaron’s.
Okay... maybe not that far, but she’d look cute in just about anything else.
“Who’s up first?” Tony asked, sliding into the chair at the scoring table.
“One roll each and whoever gets the most pins goes first.” Jo cracked her knuckles and stretched.
The sight of her body flexing and bending in front of me almost had me hightailing it out the door.
“I’ll start.” Aaron grabbed his ball, lined up and tossed it down the lane. “Eight! Boom!” He shot at us with his fingers, then blew away the invisible smoke from his imaginary guns.
Tony went next, clipping two pins and returning with a scowl.
“I’m up.” Jo pursed her lips, and I could see the competitive fire igniting in her eyes.
Always the tomboy, she’d kicked our asses at most sports since we were kids. Even though she was half our size growing up, she’d still managed to knock us on our asses in football, score the most shots in basketball games, and hit more home runs in baseball than I could even begin to count. Jo was a natural athlete, and when I saw her line up to roll the ball, I waited to hear the sounds of the pins smashing after she inevitably took them all out.
As she eyed up her shot, I watched her wiggle her ass, and I closed my eyes against the assault to my sanity. I heard her ball trucking down the alley and the pins exploding from her hit.
“Hell, yeah! Strike!” she cheered.
When I opened my eyes, hoping the ass shaking was over and it was safe to do so, Aaron was staring at me, those red eyebrows furrowed while he once again appraised me with a contemplative glare.
“Nice job!” I cheered, ignoring Aaron and hoping he didn’t catch on to what had me so undone. If Aaron figured out it wasn’t just our friendship we’d rekindled, and that my old feelings for her were consuming me like wildfire, I’d never get him to shut up about it. And if he got a few shots in him, he’d no doubt go blabbing it to Jo in some ill-conceived drunken attempt to help me
.
Desperate to keep that from happening, I vowed not to slip up again. No groaning, no gawking, no dumping a pitcher of beer on my head to cool down the fire she’d started inside of me.
Just friends.
That’s what I needed to remind myself tonight... even if I had to do it with every single breath.
“You’re up.” Jo gave me her signature cocky victory grin, and I pushed off my chair.
After grabbing my ball and lining up, I exhaled a deep breath and tried to focus my attention on the pins at the end of the lane. With determination to knock them down as if they were my feelings for Jo, I strode toward the line, drawing my arm back and preparing to unleash my fury.
But instead of a perfect shot to topple my imaginary feelings, I overstepped the shot line, hit the slippery alley and flew up into the air.
Oh shit, I thought just before I landed on my ass with a thud. My head hit the wood and I laid there for a second while I listened to my ball plunk into the gutter.
Well, if there was even the slightest chance of a mutual attraction, I had just successfully ensured my ass headed straight back to the friend zone.
Forever.
“Are you okay?” Jo called, and I could hear the laughter peppering her words.
“Fine,” I grunted as I rolled to my knees. “Totally fine.”
When I stood up, I stared at the floor for a second before forcing my eyes up to Jo. Her face was a mosaic of reds while she pursed her lips into a tight white line.
“Go ahead. It’s cool.” I tossed my hands in the air and let the assault of their laughter wash over me.
Jo collapsed on the floor, clutching her stomach while she rolled onto her side. Tony and Aaron clung to each other, tears glistening in their eyes as their laughter rolled a hell of a lot farther than my bowling ball... the one stuck halfway down the gutter.
“Get it out, get it out.” I sighed. But as mortification over my debacle blazed my cheeks, I couldn’t help but let the sounds of Jo’s laughter ignite my own. It was contagious, and it was a sound I had missed so much this last year. Bending over, I pressed my hands to my knees and choked on my laughter, tears forming in my eyes as well.
The Other Room (Door Peninsula Passions Book 2) Page 11