by Karen Renee
His eyes had dropped to my boobs. Men. So damn predictable. That was until his hand darted out to snag my waist. “You got me here tonight, baby. Ain’t no emergency gonna happen tonight, so what’s got you askin’ yourself ‘Why’?”
I stepped away, putting distance between us. “Because I didn’t want what just happened between us to happen.”
His eyebrows furrowed. “Hell if I remember hearing you tell me to stop, Trixie.”
I blew a hard breath through my nose. “It shouldn’t have happened. For the damn life of me, I don’t know why I lose control around you.”
Dammit! I hadn’t meant to let that slip whatsoever. Talk about an unnecessary ego stroke.
Roll
Roll couldn’t believe Trixie wouldn’t say she loved him. The old saying that actions spoke louder than words was little solace to him. Her ‘Always felt the same way ‘bout you’ made him chuckle, though, because he couldn’t have come up with a better brush-off if he tried.
He had just turned off the faucet when he heard her feet slapping the linoleum floors of her apartment. When he left the bathroom, he picked up his jeans in order to get another condom and pick up the keys to her car. There was no doubt in his mind she was after those jokers. She put up a good front, but he’d figured her out long ago.
Her admission that he made her lose control was music to his ears, but it didn’t help him get her mind settled. He needed to get her head straight about their situation. This was likely to be one of the last nights he could be with her uninhibited. Heathen wasn’t frequenting his usual haunts, and Roll wasn’t the only Riot MC brother looking. His gut told him this shit was going to get very ugly, and the sooner he got Trixie’s mind wrapped around a future with him, the sooner he could put her in his room at the clubhouse and not worry so much about her.
The look on Trixie’s face told him she wished she hadn’t said anything to him just then, but he moved past her and let it lie. He opened a cabinet and pulled down a pint glass to fix himself a stiff drink.
As he grabbed the Crown Royal, he asked, “You want another margarita or can I fix you somethin’ else?”
Roll bit back his chuckle, because her response was a seething sigh. Normally, her continued silence would bother him, but not tonight.
“Fuck it. I’ll fix you somethin’. You drink it or you don’t. But we got shit to get straight, woman.”
“Neither one of us needs a hangover in the mornin’,” she snapped.
He grabbed another glass and poured Crown into both. Moving to the refrigerator, he noticed Trixie had assumed a defensive posture. It didn’t bother him because she was still naked, which meant damn little she did would deter him. He grabbed the Coke from the freezer, and from the looks of the two-liter he was just in the nick of time. Dousing each glass with a generous splash of soda, he swirled them both and turned to her.
“Don’t you worry about me bein’ hungover. Got a prospect on deck to bring my bike to me before noon tomorrow. You ain’t got anywhere to be—”
“You don’t know that.”
He laughed outright. “I do know that, baby. Could swear you heard me at your dad’s, but I’ll ask it again, you think there’s anything about you I don’t know? There is not. Especially not now. I’ve claimed you. Am I sorry it took so damn long to do it? Yes, and no.”
“The fuck does that mean?” she asked with a face full of venomous anger.
“Means what it means, and it also means we aren’t talkin’ about it here.”
She shook her head. “What’s wrong with discussing it here?”
He handed her the drink, and to his surprise, she took it. “It means, this conversation is for the clubhouse. Not an apartment that’s easily accessible—”
“‘Easily accessible.’ You make it sound like my place is bugged or some shit.”
The first sip of his Crown and Coke went down exceptionally smooth, and between the drink and her almost-humorous rant, he slipped. “Can’t be sure it isn’t. Rage didn’t have time to verify before you got back from your hairdresser.”
Her jaw dropped and, fool that he was, Roll envisioned his cock in her mouth, tapping the back of her throat. He shook his head to clear the arousing vision and narrowed his eyes at her. “Yeah, Rage got in here with no effort at all. And I mean that. Took him longer to break out his picks than it did to unlock your door. That’s how lousy your back door is at keepin’ people out. Shit that’s swirlin’, the Devil Lancers could just as easily bribe your no-good landlord.”
“My ‘no-good’—”
“Yeah. This ain’t prime rental space, Trix. I know you know that. The people who work the front office don’t get paid like they ought to, so they’re easily bought. Could be someone’s been through here and left things behind.”
“What are you talking about? You think this place is—”
He cut her off by putting his lips on hers.
The fact was, Rage had been in her place while she was getting her hair done. He hadn’t seen her load up her car with Natural Light, he saw the case in her fridge. He’d been watching her place non-stop. When she left and he knew she was at the salon, he doubled back to enter her home. His intent was to find listening devices and such, but his initial sweep of the kitchen was interrupted by the primary leasing manager coming inside with a plumber. The plumber was checking pipes in Trixie’s bathroom. Rage told Roll he was able to hide in a cramped closet, but something about the whole thing raised a red flag for Rage. When Roll heard Rage’s account he agreed. Something was off, but seeing as how the Devil Lancers had already inflicted physical damage to Trixie, it made no sense why they would need eyes or ears on her.
It was impossible for Roll to put his lips on Trixie’s without engaging in an all-out kiss, a kiss he was fully engaged in, and it was over a minute before they broke for air. Claiming her in church had lifted a dead weight from his body. Every time he kissed her, it felt like a vow to her and to himself. She was his, and it’d be a cold day in hell before he let someone do shit to her again.
He pulled away from her, no more than an inch, so he could whisper to her. “I don’t know. What I do know is, I have serious shit to tell you, and I won’t do it anywhere but my room at the compound.”
Her head reared back. “Not your place? The place you keep off Riot premises?”
With every ounce of restraint he had, he continued to whisper. “Ain’t got a place off Riot premises any more, Trixie. Had you been ‘round the last five weeks, you’d know that.”
CHAPTER NINE
Trixie
Roll didn’t have a place outside the Riot compound anymore? That was nearly as mind-boggling as the notion that somebody would want to bug my apartment. I mean seriously, my apartment was nothing if not the epitome of bor-ring! Though, a twisted part of my mind believed it served the bugger right if they were left dealing with hours upon hours of boring surveillance detail.
Even if what Roll suspected was true, and somebody was keeping tabs on me through whatever covert means available, I didn’t see how that should keep us from the issue at hand. I had no idea why he was sorry it took him so long to claim me…and yet, apparently it didn’t bother him that it took him so long either. Bottom line, he said that it was a yes and a no situation. In very few instances of life could I see where there was room for two differing views.
After the cocktail he fixed for me, and for himself, as it so happened, I conked out in my bed. If he had been looking for a second round with me, that was just too damn bad. He woke me at dawn with his mouth at my center. That was new for me, because he typically made a habit of getting out of Dodge before sunrise. His goatee and his full lips were the most sensual tactics he had at his disposal, whether he knew it or not.
Deep down I wanted to tell him to stop, but he dealt a delectable torture with his tongue. My legs quivered and I shifted to give him more room. I shouldn’t let myself enjoy this. Those recent declarations of loving me sounded like words he didn’t mean.
As soon as whatever ‘club business’ was finished, we would go back to the way things were. There was no doubt about it.
He tossed my leg over his shoulder and used the same hand to glide his fingers up my torso to my boob. Simultaneously, he squeezed my boob and sucked at my clit. Hard. My hips bucked against my will, because it was building faster than ever before. I blamed it on not being awake, but that was a lie. A man puts his mouth on you and sleep falls by the wayside, ladies.
The violent hip-buck did nothing to make Roll loosen his suction. I was right last night when I suspected he was trying to kill me, but rather than do it through alcohol poisoning, he was going to kill me with orgasms. There were worse ways to go, I was sure.
He groaned against my pussy and I moaned. Looking down my body at him, I tried to glare. “Happy with yourself?”
His eyes crinkled and I could swear I felt him smiling against me even if he didn’t stop sucking on me. But when he drove two fingers into me, I threw my head back to the pillow. One of those fingers hit me just right, and I came.
“Oh, my good Lord! Oh, yes!”
I wasn’t close to coming down, and I was trying to chase it, make it last even longer. Normally this would be the point at which Roll would disengage and get his, but he kept at me. His eyes held something I couldn’t put my finger on, but then the faint light in the room brightened just enough that I realized it was a mixture of hunger and awe on his face. Those eyes told me he wanted me to find it again, and he couldn’t wait to watch me all over again. No sooner did that thought hit me, than his tongue expertly swirled and flicked my clit in the most determined fashion. My moan mingled with an inhale as it crashed over me again, and I experienced an unknown form of bliss.
Only when my breath had steadied did Roll surge up to hover over my body. “Good morning, love.”
I held my eyebrow-arch in check, and mumbled, “Mornin’.”
He quietly chuckled. “Did I over-prime the pump? Or can you handle me takin’ you there again? ‘Cause I gotta tell you, that was sexy as fuck, and I’m harder than a lead pipe.”
I stared at him because I wasn’t sure what to do with this version of Roll. When I continued to look at him, he dipped his face and kissed me, long and wet, but excruciatingly gentle. Moments later, he proceeded to fuck me in the same excruciatingly gentle manner. When he finished, and I knew he wanted to withdraw and clean up, I clamped my legs and arms around him tight.
“Don’t go yet.”
He smiled. “Baby, ain’t goin’ far. But, I gotta clean up.”
After a long blink, I sighed. When I spoke, I kept my voice so low it was nearly a whisper. “Please. Just tell me why or how you can be sorry it took so long to claim me, and not sorry it took so long to claim me.”
I felt his frame tense. “Told you. Not here.”
“I have to know. Won’t go back to the compound unless I know first. When am I going to be your priority over ‘club business?’ Tell me that, at a minimum.”
He shook his head at me, but the look in his eyes was gentle. “You want kids?”
I looked at the wall, thinking he was referencing the condom and how perilous it was for him to remain seated inside me. My lips pursed and twisted to the side when I looked back to him.
“Answer me, hon.”
Those three words told me he wasn’t indirectly referencing the condom.
“Well, I don’t know.”
His eyes flared. “Don’t bullshit me. Hell, you told me you do. I saw how you watched over Jackie when she was pregnant. Overheard you harpin’ on Abs to hurry up with Blood. You want those chicks, Mal and Rainey included, to all fill that place with babies.”
“Doesn’t mean –”
“Do not tell me what it doesn’t mean.”
That did it! I heaved my hips to try and unseat him, but he held firm and my resolve snapped. “God damn it, Roll! I want you. All I’ve ever fuckin’ wanted for over ten years is you!”
He pulled out slowly, but flung himself to his back, taking me with him.
“Yeah, well, we don’t get what we want, we get what we need. I can’t give you what you need. Also means you can’t give me what I need.”
“What are you—”
As he tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear, his fingers grazed my lips to cut me short. “Give you what you want‒ me. Can you really say five, ten, or even fifteen years from now you won’t start shovin’ shit in my face because your regret turns to resentment? Your resentment leading to anger, and then hatred?”
“What are you on about now?”
“I’m sterile, Trixie. You won’t get babies from me. It won’t happen. At all. Ever.”
Those words were blows to my heart. The way he underscored them was like twisting screws within me.
I had to fight that feeling of dread rising inside me. “How sure are you –”
“Pretty damn sure, Trix.”
My focus was wavering, and my hold on my mouth was non-existent, so I blurted, “Then why do you use condoms with me?”
“Just because I’m sterile doesn’t make me immune to STDs.”
I gasped. “You’re the only brother—”
“Not in the beginning, but bottom line, I’ll go get tested. I’m clean and you’re clean, we can lose the rubbers.”
Lose the rubbers? “You just said we don’t get what we want.”
“No, but I realized two weeks ago, you’re always gonna be what I fuckin’ need.”
***
By ten in the morning, a prospect had brought Roll’s bike to my place and Roll was putting on his boots in order to leave. I was standing in my postage-stamp-sized kitchen, eyeing the booze Roll bought last night. His arms twined around my torso from behind and he nuzzled my neck. I loved the feel of his facial hair on me. Loved it.
He was quiet, and I was feeling nervous for an unknown reason, so him being quiet wasn’t helping me.
“You need to take this shit with you,” I said trying to hide my nerves.
He pulled away from my neck with a short laugh. “Why am I gonna do that? Would just have to bring it back with me.”
“You’re not coming back,” I declared.
“Tonight, no. Tomorrow night, yes. Though if you’d move to the damn compound, we wouldn’t have this issue.”
Suddenly I was staring at him, because he had turned me around in his arms. “Roll—”
“Heard you last night, but you need to rethink that, considering what I gave you this mornin’. So, be back tomorrow night. Rage’ll be keepin’ watch on you; try not to give his ass a hard time. Now, give your old man a decent fuckin’ good-bye kiss to hold him over.”
I wanted to argue about him not being my old man, but the look in his eyes, coupled with that tone of voice he used, discouraged arguments, so I did as I was told.
***
My phone rang, and it was a number without contact information. Yet, the number seemed familiar, so I answered it. “Hello?”
Janie’s voice filled my ear. “Andrea told me you were attacked. I wanted to call sooner but then I felt awkward about it. So, I’m a ditz for feeling that way and a lousy friend. All that said, you wanna have lunch?”
Her rambling made me giggle. Do not ask me how that happened! I never giggled, but Janie had a way of making me do it. She was a friend of Liar’s woman, who was a former roommate to Jackie, the Ol’ Lady of Volt. Janie and I had struck up a strange friendship following Jackie’s baby shower, when we realized we were both trying to get out of bad relationships. Since we left the shower at the same time, we exchanged numbers. I had done lunch with her a week or so after the shower, but hadn’t heard much from her since. Part of that was because of my night-shift scheduling.
She drove a fancy-ass BMW and wore the fanciest designer clothes I ever saw, but she told me it was all because of her husband. Or, soon-to-be ex-husband.
“You betcha, but not that sub shop you like. I had a sub yesterday.”
“All right. You feel like
seafood? We could go to Sam’s St. Johns Seafood, my treat.”
My head tilted and I rolled my eyes. “It does not need to be your treat, Janie. However, you mind if I call Abby? You met her at Jackie’s shower.”
“Not at all, the more the merrier.”
When we hung up, I immediately called Abby to ask her to lunch.
I could hear the smile in her voice. “Boy, talk about perfect timing. I was just thinking about lunch, and Blood’s heading out to do club shit, so sure. I’ll come do lunch with you and Janie.”
We hung up, and I quickly dressed and ran a brush through my hair before leaving. I pulled into the parking lot for the restaurant with Rage hot on my bumper. I was beginning to wonder if my foot was in fact made of lead because Janie’s car was nowhere in sight, and she should’ve been here before me. She only lived three miles away compared to the ten miles I had to drive to get here. Abby wasn’t here yet either, but she had the Buckman Bridge to contend with and even on a weekend that traffic could be fierce.
I got out of my car and sauntered over to Rage. As I approached he cut the engine to his Harley.
“You really don’t have to do this, man. It’s broad daylight. No Devil Lancer is gonna get at me in the middle of the day, at least not if they’re smart.”
Rage’s expression was unimpressed. “Nobody should’ve been able to get at you in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, day or night, but the Lancers did. Sorry, babe. My brother needs my help, he’s gettin’ my help. Least you could do is ask me if I want anything to eat.”
I chuckled because the grin he shot me was infectious. “Fine. What d’ya want to eat, Rage?”
“Pussy,” he said, not missing a beat, and if I weren’t a top-notch biker bitch I would have been exasperated at least and offended at worst. As it was, I had walked myself right into that conversational trap, so I contained my laughter and merely lifted an eyebrow in response.
“Seein’ as that’s not on the menu at this fine establishment, um…I’m not actually hungry, darlin’. One damn day I’m gonna bust your chops, though, and finally rile your ass up good.”