by Karen Renee
Volt’s eyebrows drew together, but separated when the realization hit him. “That doesn’t mean you don’t claim what’s yours.”
“Even if claiming her is essentially imprisoning her?”
Volt chuckled with little humor. “Infants are more imprisoning than you might realize. Jacqueline and I haven’t had nearly enough sleep these days, and it’s fucked up my mind enough I can’t even tell you the last time I got laid.”
“Shut the fuck up. A baby is never an imprisonment.”
“You’re right, but it’s still mind boggling how an eight-pound person can change everything in the most drastic way. Bottom line, you’re a biker. We live on our own terms. You know that, and so does Trixie. She’s the woman for you, you claim her with no fuckin’ second thoughts.”
Roll wanted to argue, but the loud speaker squawked and a guard called Volt’s name and inmate number. “Discharged,” the voice announced after a moment. Other inmates cheered and clapped, and Roll watched Volt amble over to the door. If Volt was getting out, his name should be called soon.
***
Roll walked into the common room, and the first thing he saw was Trixie cradling and gently bouncing a bawling Simone. His heart and his gut twisted at the sight. He wanted that to be their baby, but there was no way it would ever be a baby made from each of them.
Her eyes lifted from Simone and bulged when she caught sight of him.
“You’re out! Thank God,” she cried, as she rushed over to him.
Simone’s bawling paused, but she had gathered more air in her lungs to give a shrill wail. Trixie looked at the infant and spoke gently. “Don’t you worry, missy. I’m not gonna kiss Uncle Roll, even if I really, really want to right now. I know that’s not your kind of party tonight, but you need to figure out nighttime and daytime, baby girlie.”
Trixie looked up at him and leaned a little closer and he thought she was going to kiss him anyway. He leaned back.
“You take care of her. I need a shower on the double, babe. Wouldn’t want either one of you to touch me right now.”
Trixie gave him a sympathetic smile and nodded, so Roll went to his room.
In fresh clothes after his scalding-hot shower, Roll came back to the common room, but Trixie was nowhere in sight. Rainey was sitting at the bar nursing a glass of white wine. She caught his eye and nudged her head toward the stool next to her. He’d always liked her, and was damn happy she was back in the fold with Vamp, so he settled his weight next to her.
“How’s it hangin’, Rainey?”
“Good. Actually, no. Better than good, now that our girl’s here.”
He shot her a look. “This ain’t the ideal place for an infant most of the time, lady.”
Rainey chuckled. “Not Simone, silly. Trixie. I haven’t seen her so happy since…um, ever. It’s a really really good thing to see, man.”
Roll sighed, but Rainey put her glass down and held up a finger at him.
“Do you remember what you said to me last year?”
He looked down at her. “Pretty sure you’re gonna remind me whether I remember or not.”
She grinned. “Damn right I am. You said, ‘Men can be jerks, and women can be bitches,’ and then something about the younger we are, the more likely we are to be stupid and bigger jerks or bitches.”
That sounded fairly accurate because it was so familiar to him. “What’s your point?”
She shook her head. “The last thing you said to me was that the situation with my man was more important than my job or guarding my heart because it meant we’d both be happy. I saw your face shift when you walked in here, and it wasn’t in a good way. Don’t you dare talk yourself into lettin’ her go. She’s happy, as in really fuckin’ happy. You take that away from her, I’ll lead the charge in kickin’ your ass.”
Roll twirled her wine glass in his fingers. “How many ‘a these you had, Rainey?”
“That’s the first, so mark my words, mister. I’m pretty damn sober, and I mean it. Hell, I wanted to kick your ass when you tried to run off with a club skank before Liar and Razor were patched-in back in November, but Vamp was busy trying to drag me to his room.”
Roll clenched his jaw. “You’re damn close to steppin’ over a line here, Rainey. Seein’ as I’ve always liked you, I’ll tell you that I was asking her where Trixie was, because she hadn’t been around much.”
Her expression said she didn’t believe him, but as he held her stare it shifted to belief. “Well, fine. That is between you and Trixie, but the two of you are meant to be. So, don’t you forget it.”
Roll bit back his chuckle. “How long you been waitin’ to say that shit to me, girl?”
She arched a sculpted eyebrow at him. “Since you failed to bring her to the party when Vamp made me his Ol’ Lady.”
“Fair enough,” Roll muttered.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Trixie
When I woke up, I was confused. I saw brown hair on the pillow next to me, but it wasn’t Roll’s wavy locks. I knew this because his hair was almost a dark rust brown. He also didn’t condition his hair, so his lacked the luster a woman’s brown hair would have. That didn’t sound very favorable, but it was true. This hair was gleaming, and straight as a board, which was when it hit me: I was curled up in Jackie and Volt’s bed.
While Simone was unhappy while I held her last night, she was even more unhappy when anyone else tried to hold her. Even her own mommy. Who knew? Certainly not me, because I thought all babies loved their mommas the best. So, Jackie had suggested I lay down on their bed with Simone, and she and I were on opposite sides of the bed while Simone finally calmed down under the watchful eyes of two women who loved her.
I must have fallen asleep, because Jackie and I had whispered that once Simone was down for the count, I would get my tired ass back to Roll’s room. My eyelids were heavy and droopy until I heard the glottal sound of someone snoring. It was too deep to be Jackie, and my eyes opened wide. I turned my head just enough to catch a glimpse of the chair in the corner by the door and I saw Volt awakening.
Knowing when my welcome was worn out, I gently, but quickly, exited the bed. I tip-toed to the door, but Volt’s assessing eyes were on me. He twisted the knob and opened the door far more silently than I would have done. Guess new parents learned all kinds of things after having a baby.
I made my way to Roll’s room, and opened the door. It was dim, but the three tiny windows near the ceiling provided some light. To my dismay, Roll wasn’t in the room.
“What the hell?” I whispered.
This reeked of the many times in the past when Roll would vanish before the sun rose in earnest. The problem was this time, I couldn’t understand why that would be. He told me he loved me and wanted me to freaking move into the clubhouse. Christ. I was in the building last night, and he damn well knew it. Where the fuck could he be?
I hit the bathroom, thinking I would leave as soon as I did my business. The problem was, as soon as my bladder was empty it was like a second wave of exhaustion hit me in the chest. My mind told me a little cat-nap would be okay, so I crawled under the covers of Roll’s bed. My last thought before I fell asleep was it wasn’t the first time I slept alone in this bed, but it would hopefully be the last.
***
When I opened my eyes again, I knew two things. I was alone in Roll’s bed, and it was much later in the day, based on the extreme brightness of the room. Neither of those tidbits of knowledge made me very happy. Add my very-empty and ravenous stomach to the mix and it equated to an extremely hangry woman.
I grabbed a change of clothes, went into Roll’s bathroom and did my full process. My ‘full process’ included, but was not limited to, brushing, flossing, and rinsing my teeth, followed by a long hot shower. I had packed my razor and fancy-ish shave cream, so I shaved everywhere, and then used my exfoliating scrub to prevent ingrown hairs. Truth be told though, the exfoliation rarely seemed to prevent ingrown follicles.
When
I was done, I had silky-smooth skin and well-conditioned hair, but my belly was still empty and my mind would not stop dwelling on where Roll could possibly have gone.
Yanking my clothes on, I started plotting my escape from the clubhouse. Seriously, staying here without Roll because he was arrested was one thing. But for him to have me here, as he was so insistent about on Friday, only to ditch me, was something else entirely. I was not someone he could toy around with, and more and more it seemed that was the end goal for him. Regardless of where Roll stood in this situation, it didn’t change the fact that I had to figure out who was on ‘Trixie’ duty. That would tell me how I needed to plan my inevitable escape.
This was so much like old times it wasn’t even funny. I couldn’t count how many times I woke up in Roll’s room without him primarily because I never kept count. Most people fought to get back to old times, but Roll and I had so much water under the bridge that old times were tantamount to bad times in my mind. It brought Led Zeppelin’s “Good Times Bad Times” to mind, but I shoved that away as fast as possible. Partly because Momma loved Zeppelin, but mainly because it was one of the only groups Dad would listen to, though I always blamed that on the local rock station. No joke, with the only classic rock station insisting that every weeknight at nine was the time to “get the Led out,” a native couldn’t get away from home without Zeppelin being part of their mental musical tapestry.
Tying my shoes, I debated how I was going to deal with this situation. On the one hand, I didn’t want to defy the orders Rage had where I was concerned; on the other hand, my gut told me there was no good reason for Roll not to be in his room or in some way waiting for yours truly. There was a sliver of a possibility that I was being self-centered, but deep down, I didn’t think so. Really and truly, how hard was it after being incarcerated for eight hours to keep your ass at the same location? For that matter, regardless of the difficulty, he should’ve been in the clubhouse for no other damn reason than to be safe, while simultaneously kissing my damn face. How hard was all of that? I’ll tell you how hard…not hard at all!
With my shoes on, I turned off the light and went to the kitchen. If those “tiny house” people were looking for furnishings, they genuinely needed to drop by the Riot MC kitchen. They had the end-all be-all two-seater kitchenette table. This morning, though, it was occupied by Rage and Yak. Of all the brothers, those two were most likely to be mistaken for biological brothers. Rage was so rough around the edges it was practically tactile in nature, but Yak looked like his happier younger brother. Yak’s long hair was wavy and a beautiful shade of light brown, such that furniture makers could use it as a defining shade of golden oak brown. I’d never seen any golden oaks, but Yak’s hair was damn sure beautiful.
Those thoughts were cut short when Volt murmured, “Mornin’, Trixie.”
Darting my eyes to him at the counter, I noticed he was wearing a white wife-beater with gym shorts. Were I not so smitten with Roll, I would have more fully appreciated Volt’s midnight-turquoise hued tats. I didn’t know if midnight-turquoise was an actual color, but the few tattoos my Dad had were old-school. Plus, I knew others, like Teach and Volt, had tats which were in that shade of blue that eventually faded to the darkest of aqua shades. So, I liked to think they were ‘midnight-aqua’ because there wasn’t anyone else around to argue with me. For once, I derailed my own thoughts because they were well and truly off-track.
Moving to the toaster, I gave Volt another look without turning my head, realizing he was standing at the counter with a cup of coffee poised by his lips.
“Mornin’,” I muttered while trying to hide my trepidation.
I heard Volt gulp his coffee. “You okay, this morning?”
“Yeah,” I breathed as I shoved the handle down on the toaster, which was already loaded with white bread.
“Good to know. Or should I say, good to know you’re so bad at tellin’ the truth. No need to worry, woman. Roll’s with his brother Raymond. Was supposed to be there yesterday evenin’, and it goes without sayin’ the cops botched up that plan.”
Yeah. That went without sayin’ all right. Clearly I couldn’t trust myself to say anything truthful, or at least, not to these guys. Every fiber of my being begged for me to scream out the question plaguing me. Where was Roll now? Why wasn’t he with me? It might not have been blatantly obvious, but this was a moment when I needed him most. He had told me his mother had a stroke. It resulted in him finding out he had a sister, but still. Shouldn’t he be acknowledging the love of his life right now? That’s who I was, right?
Rage stood, and watched me with my coffee cup at my lips. “I’m thinkin’ a few pieces aren’t fittin’ together in Trix’s mind, Prez. Could be wrong, but every bit of this sitch has been fucked up. Probably wouldn’t hurt if one of us took our time to make sure an old lady had shit straight before things hit the fan. Right, Yak?”
My eyes darted even though I didn’t want them to do it. “‘Old lady’? What’re you talkin’ about?” I asked lamely.
“Trixie,” Volt said, with far more tenderness than I ever would have thought possible. I didn’t want tenderness from any of the Riot brothers, but I couldn’t deny the tone of Volt’s voice melted my heart. Melty heart or not, I stiffened my spine.
“No. No way, no how. What’re you hiding from me with this ‘Trixie’?” I asked.
“Not a damn thing,” Rage grumbled.
I had been blowing on the coffee cup for the past few minutes, so I carefully took in a generous sip of the hot liquid. Swallowing it down as quickly as I feasibly could, I released a breath while I focused on Volt.
“Fine. First thing in the morning, he’s got shit to handle. What is it you’re tryin’ to hide from me, Volt? Besides the bullshit charges that got him arrested in the first place?”
“Not tryin’ to hide anything from you, Trixie. How about we just wait until he comes back.”
I scoffed. “Yeah. Cause that’s so likely to happen before sunset. As if.”
The toast popped up, I slathered it with butter, put it on a paper towel, grabbed my cup and went back to Roll’s room. If any of these people thought I’d be sitting quietly waiting for his return, they had another damn think coming.
Roll
Roll watched his brother tear his hand through his thinning brown hair. They were in their mother’s hospital room at St. Vincent’s. She had just been wheeled out for another MRI. Her blood pressure had finally come down and the doctors wanted to get another look at her brain. When Raymond looked back to Roll, his eyes were accusatory.
“Our new-found sister wouldn’t be banged up all to hell if you weren’t part of that damn motorcycle gang.”
Clenching his jaw helped him keep a tight rein on his temper. Advising his brother than it was a club, not a gang would fall on deaf ears…again. “This may be hard for you to comprehend, Ray, but I’m thinkin’ me bein’ in my club is the only reason why your wife wasn’t targeted like Trixie was.”
Ray tried to hide his exhale of disbelief, but Roll still heard it. “Right.”
He knew it was the stress making Ray act like an ignorant asshole. The air was thick with tension, but Roll had to know if Ray took any precautions. “Dana take the kids to—”
“Yes,” Ray bit out. “I took your insistent advice. The girls don’t quite understand, or at least Mackenzie doesn’t. Her fifteen-year-old sister, on the other hand, may or may not understand. She’s so far into puberty, and not speaking to either of us, that I really wouldn’t know.”
Roll had to bite his tongue. His niece Leah, texted him every day. Before she started high school, Roll had helped Ray and Dana by taking their oldest daughter to elementary and middle-school on the other side of town. Leah and Roll were tight from those years of school drop-offs. He knew that she understood everything that was going on. Just thinking about her reminded him of her last text.
1. I want to meet Trixie. I’ve heard tons about her from you, so let’s do that.
&
nbsp; 2. Not cool I got a new aunt and can’t meet her. What kind of husband hits his wife?
Leah was definitely fifteen going on fifty. It made him shake his head because he had no idea how she got so damn mature so fast. It was unreal. Then again, maybe it wasn’t. When she was thirteen and it became clear her parents hadn’t had ‘the talk’ with her like they should have, Roll laid the honesty on her while ignoring her uncomfortable squirming in the car. After that trip-to-school conversation, he noticed she didn’t pine away at the eighth grade boys quite as much, probably because she’d realized they were the pinheaded jerks Roll told her to avoid. Yeah, he definitely had a hand in shaping the mature head on her shoulders.
“So,” Ray began. “What’s your plan? Seein’ as you just told me you spent a day in jail, I assume you have a court date to keep.”
Roll settled into a small chair. “Yeah. I’ll be expected in court, but not for a few days, most likely. Unfortunately, I can’t go see Kim since Heathen claims I beat her and she’s unconscious. You could go see her, but I don’t think that’s the best idea. At least not until she regains consciousness.”
Ray shook his head. “All of this sucks. I can’t stop wondering if Ma would’ve ever told us we had a sister. Considering I came across it strictly by accident, lookin’ for her living will and shit, I’m thinkin’ she never would have.”
Roll shrugged. “What I do know is confrontin’ her with that while she’s still here is not a good idea.”
“I know that,” Ray snapped.
“Good,” Roll muttered, then asked what he came by to find out in the first place. “They say how much longer she’ll be in here? I know she’s got rehab in front of her, but this place ain’t conducive to getting better, seein’ as it’s the height of flu season.”
When his brother looked at him, he looked all of his thirty-nine years and then some. “Yeah. If her scan looks good, they want to get her out of here. I just don’t know if the rehab joint Medicare will cover is any good.”
Roll arched an eyebrow. “Get Dana to look into a good one. Medicare won’t cover it, I will.”