by Karen Renee
My smile was brighter than intended because I wanted to chuckle, seeing as how ‘yourself’ sounded like “your elf.” I’d so much rather tell her about my elf than about me, but no way was I going to let her down.
Forty-five minutes later, I had given her the abbreviated and PG-Rated version of my childhood and we were planning what I would bring Betty for lunch, when Ray came in the room.
His jaw clenched and he skewered Roll with a dirty look.
“Raymond Nelson, knock it off right now,” Betty scolded.
To my surprise, his face softened at his mother’s admonishment.
“Momma, I don’t think—”
“Darn-tootin’ you don’t think.”
Again I held in a laugh. I couldn’t remember the last time I had bit back so much inadvertent laughter. I said a quick silent prayer that Betty got back to normal because I really liked her. A lot.
“Now—” Ray started, but Betty shut him up by holding up a hand.
“I don’t want to hear it. Homer and Trixie did right by her. You should be grateful.”
Ray’s jaw clenched again and the silence became heavy and uncomfortable.
Roll said, “Momma, it’s a little too soon for—”
“Don’t you tell me what it’s a little too soon for. It’s a good thing you got to her in time.”
Ray sighed angrily. “She wouldn’t have been taken if it weren’t for him!” he yelled.
“Doesn’t this all stem from Kim?” I blurted, in an effort to keep the peace and essentially not thinking.
Both men glared at me, but Betty chuckled which meant all three of us stared at her.
She shook her head slowly. “They told me they had my living will. My office is a mess, but I know my legal papers were all together. So, your sister’s name is Kim?”
From the corner of my eye I saw Roll lift his chin in acknowledgment.
“Jesus Christ,” Ray said, through clenched teeth.
“Yeah,” Roll answered in a low voice.
“Well, then, Ray, it’s not Homer’s fault.”
Neither man looked pleased with this declaration, but they weren’t about to argue in front of their mother either. Ray looked as if he wanted to say something, but he ran a hand through his thinning brown hair instead.
A young blonde-haired nurse came in wheeling a small blood pressure machine on a stand. “Good morning, Miss Betty. Gotta get your vitals.”
I moved out of the way. “I’m so happy I got to meet you. Roll and I will be back with lunch.”
Roll leaned over and kissed his mother’s cheek before we left. Ray gave me a hard look, but I ignored it. God knew I had plenty of experience with that.
***
We were sitting in Panera waiting for our order.
“You’re quiet all of a sudden.”
I looked at him and shrugged. “Not really.”
He laughed. “Uh, yes really. Woman you’re a regular chatterbox, but you haven’t said ten words to me since leavin’ my momma.”
Why did he have to be so damn observant? He was right, of course, but I didn’t want to share my thoughts. I mean, telling him his brother was a bigoted, uptight jackass wasn’t the best lunch-time conversation. My mind was also filled with sad thoughts about aging parents and how everybody dies someday. Plus, I still hadn’t had time to process Roll’s notion that my dad failed me in my teen years.
“Sorry, big guy. Just don’t have a lot of happy thoughts right now. Too many close calls in the past twenty-four hours. You know?”
“I do know, and I also know you’re full of shit.”
I glared at him and opened my mouth to argue, but he put his index finger on my lips.
“You can say it. Hell, if it were anyone else, you’d have let it fly to his face, but believe me, I know Ray’s a damned jackass these days.”
My eyes bulged. “Just these days?” I blurted.
Roll grinned. “That’s what I’m talkin’ about. Don’t ever hold shit back from me, baby. One of the many things I love about you is you let it all hang out.”
My eyebrow arched. “You love that, huh?”
He winked at me, and I couldn’t hold back my question. “Why is he like that? You’ve been in the Riot for more than a decade. How does he still have that chip on his shoulder?”
Roll pressed his lips together. “My guess is he got it from our dad. There’s five years between us, so he got a little more time with Dad before he split, when I was seven.”
I didn’t know how I never knew that. No, that wasn’t true. Warmth spread through my body as I realized Roll was sharing himself with me. I wanted to stand up and sing the Hallelujah Chorus, but my mind snagged on what he last said.
“Your dad left when you were seven?” I said with tons of attitude.
Roll smiled at me. “He did. Let it go, babe. I wouldn’t be the man I am if he’d stayed. And I damn sure wouldn’t have been at that party to save your fine ass so many years ago.”
“But—” I started.
“Trixie, at the core of his shit, Ray’s jealous. And for some fucked-up reason he blames me for Dad bailing. Things were great before I was born, or so he thinks. Because he was older and had more of Dad, he wanted him back and did everything he could, to try and make that happen.”
“What? That’s crazy! Like what kind of things?”
Roll snorted. “Like hunkerin’ down at school. Went college prep. Wanted nothin’ but straight A’s and was never happy with B’s. It’s one thing to have goals and healthy drive, but you gotta be able to forgive yourself and recognize your limitations.”
“You said he’s jealous of you. Surely he’s grown out of that.”
Roll’s expression turned dour. “You’d think, but by the time Ray graduated, Dad had moved to Oregon. Ray went to college, and now he’s stuck in the rat race.” He paused, shrugging a shoulder. “I didn’t. I was a hell-raiser and didn’t apply myself back then. But, I’m not in the rat race, and I have more money than Ray’ll probably ever see.”
Something wasn’t right about this. “This doesn’t sound like you, Roll. You help out anyone who needs it. I can’t imagine you didn’t try to show your brother—”
“Yeah. I tried to get him to turn his own deals, but he dismissed it after one meeting at the local real estate investor’s club. Said making money that way took too long, he needed cash on hand, blah-blah.”
It was safe to say, I didn’t like Roll’s brother, but this was enough to make me never like him.
“How do you put up with him?”
Roll chuckled. “He’s family. I love him, and really he’s only like this about money. The club business hit way too close to home for him.”
“That’s no excuse,” I muttered, as a Panera employee came toward us carrying our lunch order.
“Thank you,” Roll said to her, then looked at me. “You’re right and you’re wrong. Now let’s go feed my mother.”
Roll
Carrying lunch to the car, Roll felt five pounds lighter. He hadn’t shared that shit about Ray with anyone, but telling Trixie didn’t just feel right; it felt soothing. The relief was that immense. His phone rang as he settled in the driver’s seat. The display showed Ray was calling.
“Speak of the devil,” he muttered before he answered. “Ray.”
“Since our mom already knows we’ve found our sister, I want to talk to Kim about meeting Momma.”
This was part of why Roll would tolerate Ray. Deep down he was all about family. “Okay. I saw Kim a few days ago. You want me to set up a meet?”
“That’d be good. If she can do it after six-thirty sometime this week, that’d be great.”
Roll bit back his chuckle as he thanked God he kept the conversation off speaker-phone. Every damn time Ray said “That’d be great,” Roll envisioned the boss from Office Space, and he knew Trixie would, too.
“See what I can do. I’ll text you. Sound good?”
“Yeah. Thanks. Later.”
“What did he want?” Trixie asked, her tone loaded with disdain.
“He wants to talk to Kim about meeting her birth mother. That’s how I can deal with Ray. He’s all about family. Hell, I think he was more crushed than I was, when I found out I was sterile.”
She bugged her eyes out at him. “We’re still gettin’ another opinion, comprende? And we’re gonna be optimistic as all fuck in the meantime. Got it?”
He chuckled. “Yes, ma’am.”
***
The next day, Roll and Trixie arrived at Kim’s apartment well before Ray. When Kim opened the door to them, the surprise on her face lasted longer than he would have expected before she hid it. Something about Kim was different and he couldn’t place it.
“Um, I could’ve sworn you said your brother would be here after six-thirty. Not that I’m unhappy to see you or anything,” Kim said.
He lifted his chin. “Yeah. Sorry about that, should’ve told you we were comin’ early. However, I wanted to get here before Ray for a couple of reasons. I wasn’t sure if you and Trixie had ever actually met, and there’s something we need to discuss. Can we come inside?”
Kim opened the door wider, and Roll followed Trixie into the apartment. The women introduced themselves to one another, and Trixie sat down on a loveseat. Kim gave Roll a look and then gestured for him to join Trixie. He shook his head, but sat with his woman, who was wearing her cut over a purple t-shirt.
Once Kim situated herself and looked to Roll, he said, “I wanted to give you an update on Heathen.”
Her head tilted while her lips pulled to the side. “You mean, besides the update I received from the police this morning?”
His neck tightened, but he did his best not to show his alarm to the women. “What do you mean?”
Kim crossed her arms over her chest. “Seems my husband had a date to keep earlier today, at the courthouse, and he stood them up.”
Roll sighed. “They thought you’d know where he was?”
Her smile didn’t reach her eyes. “More like they thought I’d let him find refuge with me. As if.”
“Well, he won’t be keeping that court date.”
Her eyebrow lifted meaningfully. “Ever?”
Roll lifted his hands a few inches from his lap, turning them at an angle, palm up. The gesture could be construed more than one way, but being part of the Devil Lancers, Kim acknowledged it for what it was and nodded.
“The news mentioned a fire in Hilliard that nearly turned into a forest fire. As his wife, I can only pray he wasn’t out ‘hunting’ or anything last night.”
Roll shook his head.
His sister tucked a lock of russet hair behind her ear and harrumphed. “I would be happy, but that means he likely didn’t suffer near enough.”
Before he could respond, footsteps could be heard outside the apartment and there was a swift knock. Roll had to control himself to keep from checking her door for her. If he thought he hid that, he was wrong because Kim looked at him with a smirk.
After she checked the peephole, she said, “It’s our brother, brother.”
It was after Ray settled on the couch and Kim joined him that Roll realized why Kim looked different. Since she wasn’t wearing any make-up, it struck him how much she looked like a younger version of his mother. “We’d like to arrange for you to meet our—”
“I already have a mother,” Kim cut in. “Plus, I’m no doctor, but I would imagine meeting me would be added stress she doesn’t need.”
Ray spoke up. “You’re right, you aren’t a doctor, and neither are we. But it turns out she figured out the pooch was screwed when her living will needed to be found. She seems excited that we found you.”
Kim sighed. “Listen, I’m excited I’ve got two brothers I never knew about, and even more excited that one of them is in the biker life like I am, but meeting your mother right now doesn’t work for me. I’m not saying I’ll never meet her, but for now…I’m not on board.”
Ray started to say something, but Roll said, “Your call. We’ll let it go for now.”
Kim looked at Trixie and back to Roll. “Happy to see you finally got smart.”
A throaty sound came from Trixie, and Roll knew she was trying not to laugh out loud. He did not need this kind of shit, but he had it coming.
Kim kept at him. “Not to be nosy ‒but hell, I’m nosy‒ so, what was the big hold-up, anyway?”
Roll saw Trixie at the ready with an answer so he got there first.
“A couple of issues, but we’re moving forward.”
Kim’s hard stare almost made Roll squirm, but then her green eyes darted to Trixie. “I notice he cut you off and his answer sounds like total B.S.”
Trixie grinned and shrugged. “What can you do? These guys like their privacy.”
Kim’s head reared back. “And now you’re full of it, too.”
“My brother—”
“Ray—” Roll tried to cut him off.
“She’s family. There are infertility options these days. I wish I could help, but hell, I’m the reason he found out to start with.”
“Infertility, huh? It’s rare that the man’s the issue, isn’t it?”
Roll glowered at Ray. “Well, we’re gonna find out more in two days. Now, you need help gettin’ back into your place, or any Lancers give you shit, call me.”
Kim pressed her lips together. “We’ll see. The officers advised me to stick to the law for this kind of stuff.”
“Offer stands, Kim.” Roll muttered.
He stood and Trixie followed his lead. They said their goodbyes and went to his bike.
“It’s much better being on your bike,” Trixie said as she swung on behind him.
“You’re right about that,” he said as he powered up his bike.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Trixie
The next morning, I waited as long as I could before I called Leah. Unfortunately, I got her voicemail so I hung up.
I pursed my lips and pushed them to the side. “Your brother and sister-in-law wouldn’t make Leah go to school today would they?”
Roll sighed from the bed. “I wouldn’t think so. Why?”
“She didn’t answer her phone. So, I figured she’s in class. I’m texting her now.”
Just after my text went through, my cell rang. “Hello?”
“Hi, Aunt Trixie,” Leah said.
I wanted to tell her she didn’t need to call me that, but there were more pressing matters at hand. “You aren’t at school are you?”
“No. I’m going back on Thursday.”
I smiled. “Would you like me to bring you lunch? You name it, I’ll run out and get it.”
She chuckled, which I took as a good sign. “You don’t have to do that, you can just—”
“I know I don’t have to do it. I want to do it. So, what’ll it be? Italian, Mexican, American, sushi, Jamaican, though that’s a tall order and may take me ‘cross town, but—”
She giggled which was my aim, so I smiled again, but saw Roll shaking his head at me.
“Ooh, there is a new Hawaiian place in Argyle—”
“Aunt Trixie.” Leah sounded exasperated. “A burrito from Tijuana Flats will be fine.”
“Okay, but here’s the million-dollar question. Do you have salsa at your place? Tijuana Flats can tout their hot bar all day long, but salsa should not be an up-charge when tortilla chips are your standard side item. It’s like Mickey D’s charging for ketchup!”
“I didn’t know you were a miser,” she sang, but I heard it in stereo because Roll was singing it too.
I laughed. “Whatever. Your uncle sang the same thing and you both have the lyric wrong, but the title of the song says it all. They damn sure need to give it away now. So. You got salsa? And do you want me to drag Roll along too?”
“If you really want to. Mom wants to meet you too, so we would be four with him along. And yes, we have salsa.”
Roll wasn’t kidding. She really did sound lik
e a girl of fifteen going on fifty!
***
Roll insisted on carrying in our lunch. As we walked up to the rambling split-level home, the front door opened. A thin woman with light-brown hair stood in the doorway. There were blonde highlights in her hair, and I suspected she did them herself because they looked like stripes rather than natural sun-streaks.
“Hello, Roll. And Trixie, it’s good to see you again.”
“Dana,” Roll said as he leaned down and bussed her cheek.
“Hi,” I said, as I climbed the steps into the house.
Dana closed the door behind us. Roll set the food on the counter and turned to his niece. His face looked pained and regretful. “Give your uncle a hug, Lee-Lee.”
My nose tingled as I watched him hold her. Then I felt my anger come back because Roll should have been able to see her the night of the attack, but didn’t, because of Ray.
I turned to Dana. “I should have asked Leah, but I forgot. Is Ray home? Because if so, I didn’t order anything for him.”
She shook her head. “He’s at work.”
I nodded, but when Dana looked away quickly, I knew my expression said it all for me. We sat down and ate, but the conversation was just meaningless small talk.
When she ate her last chip, Leah threw away her food container. “Aunt Trixie, you should come see my room.”
“Are you sure? You haven’t cleaned it.” Dana started.
“Mom. It’s not that bad. I straightened it this morning,” Leah said.
I looked at Dana. “Believe me, I’ve spent years at the clubhouse. No way a teenage girl can be messier than a bunch of bikers.”
Dana nodded, smiling. “You’re right. But I warned you.”
Following Leah to her room, I couldn’t imagine I’d be that way with my own child. When she turned on the light of her bedroom, my eyes focused on latte-colored walls adorned with unframed canvases.
“You paint?” I asked, as Leah closed the door behind me.
She shook her head. “My best friends and I both had birthdays at Painting with a Twist.”
I nodded and sat on Leah’s bed. “Okay, girlie. I want you to give it to me straight. Are you doing okay?”