Taylor
I continue to feel like I’m running and I don’t like it. I’m living the clean life, an honest life, hoping I’ll be able to one day win her heart back. Yet I can’t shake the feeling someone is watching me. I’ve moved from continent to continent, hoping the feeling goes away, but it never seems to. Now, sitting outside a little café in a tiny town just north of Rome, I’m getting that same feeling, only this time it’s stronger.
My heart starts to race and the hairs on the back of my neck are standing straight up. I slowly stand and turn to make my way back to the hotel. It’s time to move on again. I can’t stay here any longer. It’s only been a day, but I’ve stayed places for less amounts of time.
I pull my hat down, trying to cover my eyes. I keep them trained low to the ground, my feet in sight, only looking up when necessary. I see a pair of heels headed my way so I veer to the right. They move the same way so I step left. Again, they move to block my path. I stop moving, giving them the choice of going around me either way, but they don’t move.
I look up and am met with a set of familiar eyes, ones I thought I would never see again. Ones I had hoped I would never see again.
“Jessica,” I say, unable to hide my disgust or anger.
“It’s Macy, actually.” Her voice is laced with humor and something else. I can’t pinpoint what it is.
“How did you find me?” Is she working for the Bureau again? I can’t imagine they had no idea she was a mole.
“That’s an interesting story. Why don’t we go back to your hotel and I’ll tell you.” Now that voice I am familiar with. There is no way in hell I’m going to be alone with her. She has other things on her mind besides talking and I’m not interested.
“Why don’t we get a cup of coffee and you can tell me your story,” I say as I grab her elbow and lead her back to the café I was just at. She doesn’t resist, which surprises me at first until I realize she’s smirking at me. “What is that look for?”
“Nothing,” she says quickly and her expression goes blank. She’s acting weird and the only reason I can think of for her odd behavior is because she’s being watched. Whoever has been watching me for the past few weeks is probably watching both of us right now. It’s either an enemy or it’s the FBI. Either way, I’m screwed.
I find us a table and order two espressos. We sit in silence until after our drinks are brought to us and even then she doesn’t volunteer any information. She tried to make small talk, asking about where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing. Her questions are carefully crafted to try and extract extra information out of me. What she doesn’t get, is the fact that I’m on to her.
“Look, as nice as this is, I need to get back to my hotel. I have to check out this afternoon and catch my plane.” A lie but a believable one. She’s going to fall right into my trap. “Are you going to tell me how you found me or is that going to remain a mystery?”
“I think you already know.”
“You’re right, I do. Montgomery was never the type to give up easily.” Let’s see if I can get her to give me as much information as I can before I make my escape.
“You’re right, he doesn’t give up easily and neither does Martin. They both want to see you behind bars and soon. You weren’t too hard to find, this time. Why is that?” She’s baiting me and stalling. They must be waiting for her signal to make their move which means they can’t physically see me from where we’re sitting.
“I wasn’t trying to hide. I’ve given up my old life. All I want is to be able to move on. Montgomery should try it. He has a beautiful wife at home. Maybe if he focused more of his attention on spending time with her and less time looking for me, he might be able to be happy for a change.” It was an unnecessary comment to make, but I couldn’t help myself. I had wanted to be with Court for so long, knowing how wonderful she is. He has her and he should focus on her and their relationship. Plus, if he’s listening, which I’m sure he is, I want him to know I’m not looking for her anymore.
“I’ll make sure to tell him that. So, what’s next for you then?” She sounds sincere, like she actually cares.
“I don’t know. I’m thinking about traveling around Europe for a while, seeing the sights. Maybe I’ll settle down in a nice little town like this one and wait for you all to catch up to me.”
“We’ve already caught up to you. What makes you think you’re going to walk away from this café today?” She is so full of herself. She should know better than to underestimate me.
“You may want to cover your mic if you don’t want them to hear this.” Her eyes go wide as she grabs at her chest, clenching something under her shirt. I knew she was wired. “The simple fact that you were acting as an informant for me is enough to allow me to walk away from this. If they ever found out that tidbit of information, I’m sure you would be sitting behind bars for a long time. So, I’m going to get up, walk away and you are going to sit here and have a conversation with yourself for a few minutes, giving me a head start. Nod if you understand.” She nods so I continue. “It really was nice to catch up with you, Jessica. I look forward to seeing you again soon, but I have a feeling that’s not going to be happening.”
I stand and walk into the café and out the back door. I make my way directly back to my hotel and stop at the front desk on my way up to my room. I transfer to another available room under a different name and go upstairs to rest for the remainder of the afternoon. An hour later, I hear Montgomery screaming down the hall. It appears that I’ve disappeared again. It would kill him to know I’m less than fifty feet from where he’s standing.
As soon as they vacate the hotel I head downstairs to get some dinner. No sooner have I exited the elevator than I spot her standing at the front desk, luggage at her feet. She looks stunning in her red sundress and white heels. I follow those heels up to her knees, taking in her long legs. They look tanner than I remember. I follow the curve of her sundress, enjoying how it hugs her body in all the right places. Her hair is piled high in a bun on top of her head. A few curls have freed themselves from the bun and are flowing down the back of her dress. I have the sudden urge to let the rest of her hair free and run my hands through her curls.
She came. I look around and there’s no sign of an entourage. She came alone. I wonder if this means what I think it means.
I make it to where she’s standing in less than seven long strides. I want to touch her, but I resist for the time being. I stand directly behind her and watch as her body responds to my proximity. I know the second she realizes I’m standing behind her.
“She’ll be staying with me,” I say to the clerk at the front desk. He looks from her to me and back again. She nods her head but doesn’t say a word. “If someone could please take her bags up to my room, we are going to get some dinner.”
I gently take her hand in mine and pull her away from the desk. She doesn’t hesitate or resist and for that I’m thankful. I was wondering how long it would take her to find me. I’ve been going crazy, wondering if she ever would, if she even wanted to. When I ran into Jessica, I thought for sure Maggie was behind it all. I did, after all, give her specific instructions on how to track me down, no matter where I was. The fact she showed up, alone, after I gave them the slip, tells me all I need to know. She didn’t come here to bring me in. She came here for me.
11.
Maggie
He’s standing behind me. Why is he here? How is that possible? He must have followed me. I thought for sure he would be hiding somewhere in the depths of the wilderness or at least in a shack on some beach. I never thought I would run into him at the first place I decided to travel to. Fate. It has to be fate, but do I really want to believe that?
I hear him instruct the clerk to take my bags up to his room, but I’m having an out-of-body experience right now. His voice sounds like I’m stuck in a bubble and I feel lightheaded. When his hand touches mine, my body instantly melts into his and I follow him willingly. I shouldn’t follow h
im, I know this. I came here to get away from him, from my broken heart, from my life. Why is he here?
I want to ask him, more than anything in the world, but I don’t. I can’t seem to find my voice. Flashbacks of the first time I saw him, getting into the elevator the day of my interview, cloud my vision. It feels like a lifetime ago when in reality it was only a little over a month ago when I first laid eyes on him. Thinking back on it now, I’m pretty sure I should have quit that first day. My body started to crave his the second the elevator doors closed and it hasn’t stopped since.
I hear a scraping noise and snap out of it and back to reality. I look down to see Taylor has pulled out a chair for me and we are being seated in a restaurant. My stomach growls in appreciation of the smells wafting through the air. I haven’t eaten since before I boarded the plane to come here and that was almost sixteen hours ago.
I open my mouth to thank him, but no words come out. I’m standing next to the chair, staring at him, my mouth agape. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do or how to act. I’m comfortable in his presence, I’m used to being around him, but I’m also trying my hardest not to let my nerves get the best of me. I never thought I would see him here. I never thought I would see him again, actually.
I think about the unopened pieces of paper sitting inside my purse, hidden away in the depths of a pocket with my spare tampons and miscellaneous receipts. I know why I brought it, but I never thought I would find the courage to read it. I didn’t because I didn’t have to. Either he found me, he followed me or it truly is fate that we ended up in the same city at the same time.
Taylor’s mouth forms a wicked grin as he motions for me to sit down. He’s enjoying this, the way I’m at a loss for words in his presence right now. I’m not surprised by it, but I think deep down, I’m frustrated with myself for not being more subtle about my shock.
He takes the seat across from me and orders drinks from the waiter, never taking his eyes off of me, but also not saying one word to me. I watch as he relaxes into his chair and stares at me, his wicked grin permanently plastered on his face at this point. I lean forward, place my elbows on the table, lace my fingers together and rest my chin on my hands. This ends now. I can do this.
“Hi.” I was going for something bigger, something grander, but it’s all I could manage.
“Magdelyn,” he drawls. The sounds of his voice and the way he says my name causes me to close my eyes momentarily and soak it all in. God, I missed the sound of his voice.
I regain my composure and sit up straight in my chair. “So, what are you doing here?”
He tilts his head to the side and crinkles up his nose. He looks confused and my suspicions are confirmed only moments later. “I was going to ask you the same thing, but I figured you came here to find me.”
Huh? The first place I decide to go to get away from my heartbreak and here he is. I start to think about the last few weeks, how I’ve been sulking and my heart has been pounding in my chest. I think about how weak I’ve felt and how I’ve pushed everyone away. That’s who I am, that’s who I’ve always been. A loner. I’ve never depended on anyone except myself. I’ve never let anyone in or allowed myself to love. I figured it was a run of bad luck that the first time I decided to let my guard down my heart was completely shattered.
“No. Actually, I came here to get away from the memories of you.” I realize as soon as the words pass my lips that he is going to take my words the wrong way. “Let me rephrase that. I came here because my heart is broken and I am trying to mend it. Seattle seemed… empty. Why are you here?”
“You didn’t read my note, did you?”
The waiter arrives with our drinks, giving me a moment’s reprieve before answering his question. I want to be honest with him and tell him no and why, but I can’t even admit to myself why I never read his note. I ask the waiter questions, stalling, before placing my order. Once he’s gone, I see Taylor is not amused by my antics.
“No. I never read your note.” I try to sound strong, but the fact that I barely feel the breath pass between my lips as I speak, tells me I sound anything but strong.
“So, this is just a coincidence? You didn’t come here for me? You didn’t bring anyone with you to bring me home? You came here for you and you found me in the process.”
I think about his words for a long moment. He already knows the answers to all his questions. What bothers me is his statement. He’s looking at this like I’m looking at this. Fate. It’s the only explanation as to why I chose this destination, this little town, this hotel.
“Yes. This is a coincidence, a wonderful coincidence. I don’t know what else to tell you.” I pause, thinking carefully about how I am going to word my feelings before I say what I want to say next. I know I need to tell him, yet I can’t help but fear his response. I went through a barrage of emotions trying to decide how I felt about him and I’m sure he will do the same after he hears how I feel. “Look, I never planned to see you again. It was a choice, one which took me a lot of time to make. I’m glad you left when you did, that you aren’t behind bars somewhere. I understand you’ve done some unforgivable things in your past, but that’s where those things will always remain. In. Your. Past. You are not that person anymore, at least I don’t see you that way and that’s what scares me the most.
“I’ve tried and failed at moving past the feelings I developed for you. I know you may not want to hear that, but it’s the honest truth. There is no real way to describe how I feel about you, but I do know one thing. I will never, no matter how hard I try, get over you and I’m not entirely sure that I want to.”
I can see there are many things he wants to say. I can almost see the wheels turning and I see the moment when the light bulb turns on. The smile which forms on his face is breathtaking and the simple gesture of reaching across the table and caressing my cheek makes me swoon. I lean into his hand and relish the feel. I love the way he’s so gentle and caring with me. That’s when it all starts to make sense to me. This is not who he used to be, this is who he wants to be. Maybe for me, maybe for himself, but this is the new Taylor Donovan and I love this man.
“I don’t know what to say to that. You’re right. I’m not that person anymore and I don’t want to let my past define me anymore. So, please don’t be scared of me.” His sincerity is causing my body to yearn for him. I want to jump him, here and now, and give in to all my wants and needs.
“I’m not scared of you, Taylor. I’m scared of the way I feel, the way you make me feel and the things I want. I’ve never felt like this before. Since I met you, that first day, I’ve never felt what I’m feeling now because I never let myself. It’s been just me for so long that I thought it was better to keep it that way. Now I know I was wrong. I can’t change the past, even if I wanted to, but I can write a new future.” That was too deep. I didn’t mean to tell him all of that. I didn’t want to tell him all of that. He’s going to get up and walk away from me any second and then where will that leave me? It will be like it was in Seattle. My heart will break all over again and I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle it.
Taylor hasn’t even attempted to move. He’s staring at me, his wicked grin still in place. The silence is killing me. I need for him to say something, anything. The waiter arrives with our food and excuses himself quickly. I think he can feel the tension which is mounting between us. I can feel it.
As soon as the waiter leaves I break eye contact and dig into my food. Taylor follows suit and we eat in silence until the waiter returns to remove our plates. Taylor tells him to charge it to his room and then stands. I watch as he slowly approaches me, pulls my chair out and reaches for my hand. I know this conversation is far from over, but I have a feeling that what is said next, needs to be said behind closed doors and without an audience.
Taylor
I have so many things I want to say to her, to do to her, but those things also need to be said in private. For one, I’m still not sure Jessica and
her entourage are gone. I’ve given Montgomery the slip before, but he’s a persistent bastard. He’ll never stop looking, even though I am no longer looking for Court. I understand his need to put me behind bars. I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same if the situation were reversed.
As for Maggie… there is no way in hell she’s working for him anymore. If she were, she would have never shared any of the things with me that she just did. I felt her soul open up while she was talking. I felt the weight of her decision being lifted off her shoulders. I watched as her eyes took on a sparkle that I had only seen one other time, the only time she hadn’t been able to hide it from me. The first time we met.
Right now, all I want to do it take her in my arms and kiss her deeply. So deep that our souls will merge and become one; there will be no telling where one begins and the other ends. For her, I want to be more than who I’ve tried to be in the past. I want to be a better person. Seeing her today and hearing how she feels, only confirms that I have to at least try. For her and for me. For us. As long as she’ll allow there to become an “us.”
I take her hand and help her out of the chair. She tries to step away from me, to let her hand slip out of mine, but I refuse to let her go. She just walked back into my life and there is no way I’m allowing her the chance to get away so soon. I plan on holding on to her as long as she’ll let me, starting right now.
I lead us into the elevator, grinning from ear to ear, remembering the first time we shared an elevator. I can’t help but admire her beauty and strength. She’s held on to her values since day one, attempting to let me go because it was the right thing to do. Little does she know, I’m not giving her that option this time around. She chose this location for a reason, no matter if by chance or not, and we found each other.
I open the door to my room and motion her inside. She tentatively crosses the threshold and steps around her luggage. I release her hand and she walks further into the room and over to the windows, looking out across the city. I can tell she’s about to say something before she even opens her mouth. Her shoulders sag forward in a sign of defeat. I may have won this battle without having to put up much of a fight.
The Secrets Duet Page 28