“I’ve thought about you all this time, Nat. I almost don’t want this weekend to end because I don’t want you to leave me,” he said, taking her hands from his face.
“If only things were different,” she murmured, wishing it was true. She wished he hadn’t pushed her away so long ago. She wished that he’d come for her years earlier. Seeing him awakened feelings she thought were long gone, but it only proved to her that she was still very much in love with this man. Unfortunately, her fear of the unknown kept her from confessing it.
The man before her was so familiar yet different, hardened by his job and the things he’d seen. Even though he was physically different than the tall, scrawny teenager she’d left behind, his soft, kind eyes and inviting smile remained the same. His touch was still filled with the same amount of passion it had all those years ago. He kissed her with a new sense of purpose and claimed her as if he was taking her for the first time. Oh, why couldn’t things have been different?
“Do you remember the last time we saw each other?” she whispered, resting her forehead against his. He closed his eyes and released a deep sigh.
“I can never forget. I made the biggest mistake of my life that day,” he murmured.
Tears burned Natalie’s eyes. He had.
He’d come to her house on the last day of summer vacation to help her pack her parent’s Jeep with her bags as she headed to the airport. He’d hardly said a word to her and when he did, his responses were clipped or rude. When it was time for her to go, he refused to hug her, accusing her of choosing to leave him behind. She’d tried to tell him that they could make a long distance relationship work, but he didn’t want to hear it. All he could focus on was that she was moving clear across the country and he thought it was best that they saw other people. He left her standing in her driveway in tears, not even giving her a hug goodbye. She’d never heard from him or saw him again until last night.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice low. Natalie blinked and looked down at him.
“For what?”
“How I treated you back then. I should’ve been more supportive. You were going to school to better yourself and for me to give you an ultimatum and leave you because you chose something better for yourself…it’s fucked up. So I’m sorry.”
“Thank you for that,” she said. His fingertips traced along her spine as he took one of her nipples into his mouth, his eyes meeting hers. She gasped and clutched his shoulder.
“You were supposed to be my wife,” he whispered against her skin. Her heart ached at his words. She’d wanted that more than anything. “You were supposed to have my babies.”
“Cameron…” she started, choking on the sob that threatened to come out as a few tears rolled down her cheeks.
He reached up and brushed them away, holding her gaze. “If I don’t tell you anything else tonight, I’ll tell you that I love you, Natalie McKnight,” he murmured, his eyes never wavering.
Words stuck in her throat as surprise overwhelmed her. Before she could utter a single word, Cameron kissed her with so much passion that it scared her, his emotions flowing into her. She disconnected their lips long enough to lift his shirt over his head, her fingers running over the ripples of tight muscle in his chest. Pushing him back and straddling his lap, her nipples pressed against the hardness of his chest as she ground into his bulging erection, her core throbbing with need.
He flipped them over and kissed down her chest, taking a nipple into his mouth and nipping it gently with his teeth. She sighed in pleasure as he repeated the action on both her nipples until they were both standing at attention. He kissed his way down to her panty line, grabbing the sides of her thong and pulling them down her smooth legs. She trembled as he kissed her inner thighs, moving closer and closer to her core.
Pleasure overcame her the moment his tongue touched her. She writhed beneath him as his tongue flicked against her clit before he took it into his mouth.
“Cam,” she moaned, bucking her hips against his darting tongue. His strong hands gripped her thighs and pulled her to his mouth as he lapped at her wet core. His honey eyes gazed up at her, the sadness still evident behind the lust in the forefront. She’d never felt so torn in her life. Logically, she knew she couldn’t stay, but the possibility wouldn’t leave her mind. Cameron’s words filtered through her head. He’d wanted to marry her, have children with her, and he was still in love with her too. But he isn’t safe.
Cameron sucking on her clit pulled her from her brooding and back to the moment. She could stay and have a man who adored her, gave her great sex and could possibly bring excitement to her life. But he'd be gone so much and that would almost be just as bad as it was with Ted.
Her orgasm crept up on her, sending her crashing and convulsing as she bucked against Cameron’s tongue, her moans bouncing off the walls as she rode it out. She should've felt relaxed but instead she was conflicted and on the verge of tears.
Cameron kissed her inner thighs before kissing his way back up to her mouth, stopping when he looked into her eyes.
“What's wrong?” he asked, his tone laced with concern.
Natalie shook her head, cursing herself when two tears fell when she blinked.
“It's nothing.”
“It's not nothing. Talk to me,” he said.
She responded by pushing him onto his back and unbuttoning his shorts, removing his hard cock from his boxers.
“It's not as important as tasting this,” she murmured, slowly taking him into her mouth. Any words of protest he'd been about to utter dissolved into a groan as his head fell back on the pillow. If this was enough to distract him from talking about how she felt, she'd better get her jaw ready for a long night.
Chapter Nine
Savage knew something was wrong with Natalie, but it was hard to concentrate on her tears when she had his cock in her mouth. And what a mouth it was. He couldn’t remember what he’d wanted to say when she licked up his shaft and began to suck his head, her soft hands firmly stroking him.
It was a nice distraction from what was on his own mind. His thoughts were consumed with her leaving, which was something he knew was inevitable. He’d just gotten her back; how could he let her go again?
He couldn’t be selfish though; he had no right to. If he’d regretted anything in his life, it would be the day he left her. They had a future and he threw it away with his “my way or the highway” attitude. Had they remained together, he knew she would’ve been his wife. He’d even imagined what their children would look like and how they’d grow old together. His future was going to get on a plane tomorrow and leave him again, probably for good, and the thought of it tore him up inside.
He pushed the thoughts aside and tried to focus on what was presently happening, but each time she looked up at him, their future reflected in her gaze. It was hard to ignore what could have been between them, but perhaps it was for the best. They both led very different lives that neither could probably drop for the other. What if she did move here and ended up not being the person he fell in love with years ago? Maybe he was the crazy one for holding on to a thread that was never there in the first place all this time. This weekend was probably just a cruel, sick joke that life was playing on him to physically show him what he couldn't have and simply dangle it in his face before taking it away again. What if it wasn’t fate that brought her to him, but just a lucky coincidence? Even though his heart ached at the thought of it, he knew he had no choice but to let her go.
He ran his fingers through her hair and groaned as her head bobbed up and down his cock. “That’s it, baby,” he murmured, closing his eyes. Jolts of pleasure streaked throughout his body, his toes curling when he hit the back of her throat. He wanted to remember all of this; her tongue, the warmth of her mouth, the way she looked up at him to gauge her next move. He stopped her, pulling her up to straddle him.
“I need to be inside of you,” he whispered, capturing her lips. She sighed against his lips as she wrapp
ed her arms around his neck, grinding against his erection. She leaned up and positioned him at her core and slowly took him in. They both groaned as he filled her, her walls hugging him like a glove. Her tongue found his as she rode him, her fingers tightly gripping his hair as she bucked her hips.
“You feel fucking amazing, baby,” Savage groaned, latching onto her nipple. He held her tight, growling when her nails scratched his scalp.
She tossed her head back with a throaty moan, her walls tightening around his cock. Her heated skin was flushed, her breaths coming out in pants and whimpers as her pleasure consumed her. “Oh, Cam…”
“Mmm…you gonna come for me, baby?” he asked, his tone laced with lust.
“Yes, I’m almost there,” she breathed, closing her eyes as she bounced faster on his cock. Cameron squeezed her hips and stopped her.
“Not just yet,” he said, patting her leg to signal her to move. “On your knees.”
Flustered, she turned around and go t on all fours. “Legs together,” he ordered.
“Together?”
“That’s what I just said, isn’t it?”
Savage placed his hand in the center of her back until her face was on the bed. He positioned himself behind her. “It’s a shame when your body knows what you want but you don’t,” he murmured, slowly entering her. She groaned into the blanket as he filled her to the hilt, her walls clamping down on him in a vice grip.
“Would you look at that? Your greedy little pussy is taking every inch of my cock,” he murmured as he thrust into her. “You’re so wet for me, baby.”
He leaned over her and grabbed a handful of her curly hair, pulling her up as he pumped harder into her. She gasped as he pumped away, the only sound in the room was their slapping bodies.
“Oh my…Cam,” she moaned.
“Come all over my cock, baby,” he murmured, planting hot kisses along her neck. Her walls contracted around him as she screamed, her body convulsing beneath him as he continued to jerk inside of her. Even when she collapsed on the bed, he continued. “I’m not done with you yet, baby. When I’m done with you, you’re going to feel that I’ve been inside of you long after you’ve left me.”
He snaked his arm around the front of her and massaged her sensitive clit as he slowly thrust inside of her. She leaned back against him and guided the speed of his hand with her own.
Emotions overwhelmed him. The heat radiating from her warmed him all over and her sweet perfume filled his senses. All of this would be gone soon and he’d go home to an empty apartment and bed without her, probably never seeing her again.
“Cam?” Natalie called, looking at him over her shoulder. He blinked, feeling a trail of moisture running down his cheek. “Something wrong?”
He kissed her neck without a word and held her tight as he pumped into her until he finally reached his own release. They collapsed onto the bed, a mess of tangled limbs and held each other. Natalie nuzzled her face into his neck, her soft breath tickling his skin.
“When do you have to be at the airport in the morning?” he asked.
“Ten,” she mumbled into his neck. He kissed her forehead and ran his fingertips along her spine.
“I love you,” he whispered, but she was already asleep.
He pried her arms from his waist and gathered his clothes, quietly slipping them. Goodbyes weren’t his thing, especially when he had to let go of part of his heart. He gazed at her sleeping form, his heart aching at the thought of leaving her behind.
Savage leaned down and gently kissed her cheek, brushing away a stray strand of hair. “Goodbye, Natalie,” he whispered, pulling the blankets over her cool body.
After taking one last look around the room, he walked out, leaving half of his heart and happiness on the other side of the door.
***
He paced back and forth in his apartment, wondering if it was a good idea to leave. His mind replayed through their time together, his heart aching knowing that would all be gone in the morning when she left San Diego.
With a sigh, he flopped down on his couch and stretched out, looking at the ceiling. Would he be doomed to be like Joker, going through life looking for someone like Natalie because he couldn’t have her? If only he’d been mature enough back then. He’d still have her. He still would’ve had everything. His future.
He jumped up when an idea hit him and headed into his bedroom. Sitting on the side of his bed, be pulled a notepad and pen from his nightstand drawer and stretched out across the bed. He’d see her one last time before she left and he’d make sure she’d at least go home knowing how he felt about her.
Chapter Ten
And then he was gone.
Natalie sat up in bed and looked around the room. The only evidence remaining that he’d been there was the faint scent of his cologne lingering on the pillow next to her. His side of the bed was cold, indicating that he’d been gone for a while. He didn’t even say goodbye.
She reached over on the nightstand for her phone and unlocked the screen, her heart sinking when she didn’t see any texts from him. Part of her wanted to be angry with him for just leaving without warning, but she couldn’t blame him. Had the shoe been on the other foot, she would’ve left in the middle of the night too. She knew saying goodbye wouldn’t be easy, but she wished she could hug him one last time and feel his lips against hers. She’d wanted to relish in the smell of his cologne and the warmth of his body to remind her that that was what love felt and smelled like.
Love. Maybe she’d wanted to tell him she loved him too, so that he would at least know that. She sighed and threw the heavy blankets off of her. If this was what she wanted, why’d she feel so devastated about leaving? Sure, she knew nothing would become of them when she left here, but she wasn’t ready to let him go just yet.
She got out of bed and headed for the shower, feeling their activities from the night before with each step she took. There was no doubt she’d miss him. Even though they’d only spent a weekend together, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this happy. It was still so easy to get lost in his eyes or to lean into his touch. Her cheeks burned at the thought of his tongue caressing her most intimate spot and how her body easily reacted to him. Her heart wanted her to try and see where things went while her mind attempted to remain logical. She couldn’t just leave her job and her commitments back home for a weekend fling. At the end of the day, she knew she made the right decision. She just prayed that time would prove her right.
***
Natalie zipped up her last suitcase and pulled it behind her to the door. Her eyes scanned the room one last time to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything before she finally stepped out into the hallway with her bags. Bridget and Vanessa came out of their rooms at the same time with their bags and walked down the hall to Natalie.
“Ready to rock and roll, girl?” Vanessa asked, adjusting her purse on her shoulder. “We can drop you off at the airport if you need a ride.”
“No, that’s okay. I already called a cab,” Natalie lied. She needed to ride alone to process everything swirling inside of her. She didn’t want to have to answer their prying questions about her mopey mood or deal with their curious gazes if she ended up not being able to control her emotions.
Bridget shrugged. “Suit yourself. We’re going to get going before traffic gets insane on the highway. It was nice seeing you again. Have a great flight!” she said with a wave as she and Vanessa moved down the hallway toward the elevator.
Natalie followed them down the hall and stepped onto the elevator with them, giving them a final wave when they reached the lobby of the hotel. She watched them walk out of the door and hand their ticket to the valet, who dashed off to get their car.
“Need a ride?” a smooth voice called behind her.
She spun around on her heels and came face-to-face with Cameron, her heart skipping a beat at the sight of him. He wore a white t-shirt and light blue jeans with Converse sneakers, a lot different than the re
ception attire he’d worn last night. Even though he didn’t stay with her throughout the night, he came back for her.
Words were hard to come by as she looked up at him. He strolled over to her and stopped in front of her, his hands in his pocket. “Well? Do you?”
“I…you weren’t there when I got up. I thought you were gone for good,” she murmured.
“Yeah, the plan was to be gone for good. But if I’m never going to see you again, I’d rather you be awake when I tell you goodbye,” he said with a chuckle. Although a slight grin pulled at his lips, his eyes displayed the true sadness he felt.
Natalie tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and shyly turned her gaze away from him. “Sure, I could use a lift,” she said.
He reached forward and took her bags from her hands without a word and moved toward the door. She followed him to his Ford Mustang and watched as he placed her bags in his trunk before unlocking the doors.
She slid onto the passenger seat and waited for him to get in the car, her heart pounding in her chest. It would’ve been so much easier to have left and not seen him again, but that wasn’t what she wanted either. Her heart and mind were at war with what they wanted and she was stuck in the middle; her happiness was trapped in between it all.
Cameron joined her inside the car and started it, easing out into traffic to the airport. They rode in silence for the most part. When she saw the exit sign for the airport, she sighed and turned to him.
“This weekend was pretty amazing,” she finally said.
“Yeah.”
She nibbled on the inside of her cheek. “I’d like to still be friends, if that’s okay with you.”
“Sure.”
“Can you say more than one word?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Something. Anything."
“I’m not really sure what to say, to be honest. I won’t forget this weekend, that’s for sure,” he said, merging onto the airport exit. She leaned back in her seat, tears burning her eyes. Even though he’d come back for her, he’d long said goodbye. She could feel it in his tone when he spoke and the way he kept his distance. He hadn’t touched her once aside from when he took her bags from her and he hardly even looked her way.
Special Forces: Operation Alpha: Surviving Savage (Kindle Worlds Novella) (SEALed Brotherhood Book 1) Page 4