I hate being a diabetic. I hate feeling tired. I hate the splitting headaches. I hate the injections.
“Thank you again,” I say. The man saved my butt twice in a matter of twenty-four hours. It’s a pity he’s a player. He sure is a good kisser though.
“Sure,” he says, keeping his eyes on the road. “So do you pass out a lot?” he asks. He glances at me and I can only stare back. I forgot how direct he is. “I’d like to know if you faintin’ is gonna to be a daily thing, so I can set my alarm then. I don’t normally get up this early.”
I raise my eyebrow. “Smartass,” I say. “I’m gonna count that as one, seeing as I’m in desperate need of one. That puts me at eleven. And no, I don’t pass out daily so you won’t miss out on any of your precious beauty sleep, Holden.”
He smirks and looks at the road a bit before he says, “The girl doesn’t sleep. That’s three.” He looks at me. “You love baseball caps, you know when what sport is showing so that tells me you’re used to watchin’ it with someone or you’re a fan yourself. That’s four.”
My stomach dips all funny and it’s not because I haven’t had breakfast yet. I didn’t think he’d move so fast. Then again he’s one up, he got into my place and that gave him an unfair advantage.
He parks in front of his cottage and I move to open the door when he leans over me and takes hold of my hand. His fingers brush over my emergency bracelet. He flips the tag over, just staring at it.
My heart starts doing that crazy beating thing with him so close to me. He’s doing this on purpose.
“My mama taught me to open doors for women, so why don’t you stay put,” he drawls. I smile a bit too widely, but that just made me melt.
He lets go of the tag and gets out of the car. I watch him walk around the front, my eyes following every move he makes. He opens the door but he doesn’t step back. He’s not giving me a lot of space to work with as I get out.
I’m figuring him out faster than he knows. I know he’s just as human as the rest of us and if the right buttons are pushed I’d like to see who the real man is. I get glimpses of the man he’s trying to hide, like when he helps me. This version where he’s a player is just a façade.
~*~
I get out of the car and practically sail up against him. I’m not wearing any shoes and that makes him even taller than the night before. With his smile gone and an intense look that makes his eyes darker, he looks downright hazardous for my health.
I’m tired. I have a headache, but I’m first going to give him some of his own medicine. Just pull the rug from under his feet.
“Just to satisfy my curiosity,” I repeat his words of the night before and I bring my hands up to his waist.
Oh hell. Mother Nature was indeed generous when she made this man. I fan my fingers over his abdominal muscles and move my hands up, feeling his hard chest beneath the shirt. When I look up again his lashes are lowered over his eyes. Spellbinding seduction pours from him in waves. Any other girl would be floored.
I weave my arms behind his neck and lift myself to an inch from his mouth.
OMG.OMG.OMG! I can’t believe I’m doing this! I can’t believe he’s just standing there and letting me do this!
I need to stay in control. I need to stay cool, calm and in control. I can’t go losing it like last night.
“Wyatt,” I breathe his name and his hands settle on my hips, gripping firmly. I drop my eyes to his mouth and he moves.
So much for control.
His hands take hold of my face and he leans down, pressing his lips to mine. The second they touch mine, I’m a goner just like the night before.
I’ve been kissed before. Little ol’ kisses. Those kisses where you brush your teeth to try and forget it. The okay ones and even some hot ones.
Then there was last night. The breathless kiss, and it’s happening again.
No guy has ever taken hold of my face before. The second his tongue slips into my mouth all my boldness disappears, and it’s just…wow.
And then I realize I still haven’t moved...again. Like an idiot he’s the only one kissing. He must think I’ve never been kissed! I press back against him and I kiss him … no … I just about devour him right there next to the car.
I forget I wanted to feel what his hair feels like. I wanted to seduce the crap out of him. That so backfired on me!
He makes me forget everything again, everything but his mouth devouring mine.
Until he pulls away, leaving me breathless and stunned.
Suddenly I can’t laugh him off. This is way too serious for me. I feel for the car behind me and start to move away from him.
“Scarlett?” he asks and I can hear the confusion in his voice.
“Thank you,” I say stupidly.
For what? The wow kiss? Who the fuck says thank you for a kiss?!
I rush towards my cottage but when I get to the door I realize I don’t have my keys and it’s right about then that I want to slam my head against the door, but it will only make the headache worse.
“Hey, you okay?” he asks and then he holds my keys out to me.
“Yeah, sure … just a headache and tired.” I take the keys and unlock the door.
I go in and close the door behind me, not once making eye contact with him. I feel like a total ass for my behavior, but I need a moment to build up my defenses against him again.
~*~
You’d think with how tired I am I’d fall asleep. But Nooo! I lay on the couch staring at the fan going round and round for hours. At least the headache starts to ease up on me. Nothing like some OJ to bring the sugar level back up.
My mind wanders to Wyatt. I can’t get all hung up on a guy. Not now. I’m finally starting my career in Human Resources.
Point is I can’t get involved. Not even for a stupid quick fling. Those kisses were anything but fling material.
Those kisses were drool worthy.
Later that afternoon some much needed energy finally returns and I decide to go swim Wyatt out of my system. I get up and change into a pale blue two piece. I grab my towel and set out with my new found energy so I can rid myself of Wyatt Holden’s kisses.
I don’t make it far.
I actually only make it to my deck, because he’s sitting on it.
“Can I help you?” I ask a little surprised.
He looks me over, from my little toe to my hair and instantly I feel naked.
“Just enjoyin’ the view,” he says all relaxed.
“On my deck?” I ask, “Did you get lost?”
“Actually I did … for a minute,” he says and he gets up. My stomach coils nervously when the starts toward me. “You definitely did too.” I swallow hard.
“Swim,” I blurt it out. “I’m gonna swim to get you out of my system.”
OMG! I did not! Please tell me I did not say that to him!
I need to save what sliver of self-control and pride I still have left.
“I know of other ways,” he whispers, his voice thick with seduction and it sends shivers racing over my skin. There’s no smile, no smirk. He’s serious. “I’ll do the work, less strain on you.”
He stops right in front of me and I fight to keep my eyes on his. I lose the fight and I look down at his shirt, it’s a nice shade of dark blue. He seems to like dark colors.
“You know what, Wyatt. I’m not gonna be that one. I’m not like those girls out there. There are plenty of them, so instead of wastin’ your time here you should go on and find one that will be more open to a one night stand with you. I’m not gonna do a one night stand, a two week stand or any kind of stand with you,” I say it and I try to put as much determination into my voice as possible.
If I can’t stand my ground now how will I help prosecute people in court?
His fingers skim over my jaw and rests under my chin, sending my hormones into a frenzy. He nudges softly, urging me to look up.
“Now say that to me and not my chest,” he says. “Tell me you didn�
�t feel it when I kissed you.”
I steel myself and look up. I get thirsty … a lot. But the dry spell sweeping through my mouth and down my throat, forcing me to swallow, is all new. The birds and bees are having a full on spring festival in my stomach.
“Ahh…” Words, I need words.
He moves in closer and his other hand touches my waist – my bare waist! Tingles rush to fry what little sense I’m fighting to gather to my defense.
“Scarlett,” he whispers, “you’re really gonna stand here and tell me you don’t want me?”
Want. Yes, very much.
Need. Yes, very much.
In all my twenty three years I’ve never wanted someone so bad. But I can’t. I can’t just have meaningless sex and go and forget the person ever existed. I grow attached to people. Attachment hurts.
“Wyatt.” I clear my throat when my voice goes all raspy. “What I want and what I’m gonna do are two totally different things.” I go on the defense and that means I go in for the kill. “I’m not like you. You have sex. People come and go in your world. Not in mine. I don’t operate like that. It’s best you go find someone more suited to your taste.”
I’m actually holding my breath as I wait for his response.
~*~
The man has thick skin. Nothing I say can insult him.
He smiles. “You’re right, you’re not like them,” he says. “But you made me a deal and I don’t go back on ‘em. A deal is a deal.”
He takes one step back and I take a deep breath but I still get a lung full of him.
“I need three more to crack your code,” he says. The way he says it makes my breathing speed up. He’s adamant. There’s determination written all over his face.
“It was stupid of me to say. I was overwhelmed with the attack and you being all Rambo like. Forget about it.” He just shakes his head lightly, he’s not backing off.
I can’t let him get a foothold in the door. I’ll be so screwed. Insulting him doesn’t work so then there’s only one thing left to do. Scare him off.
“Holden,” I snap and I let my anger bubble up. The anger I always feel but keep on strict lockdown. “Go get some healthy, triple D, pin up chick to fuck. You don’t want the girl who’s tired all the time. You don’t want the girl with the fake smiles.” Dammit, I’m gonna cry. When I get angry I cry. “You don’t want the girl who passes out just because she skips a meal.” I push by him and head back in. “I’m tired,” I whisper.
I don’t make it to the kitchen. He takes hold of my arm and pulls me back, right up against his chest and then his arms wrap around me. He just holds me. And this time I cry.
I like ugly cry.
Because I do like him and I don’t want to. Because I’m tired and I want to feel alive. Because I’m alone and I want to belong to someone.
I cry because I’m scared, I’m just scared of life and living it alone. Morgan is settled in a great job. I wonder if she’s really happy alone or if she feels the same as me since Momma and Daddy died. Morgan is everything I’m not. She’s strong and vibrant. She’s healthy. If she sees something she wants she gets it. I’m not jealous of my sister, but I wish I was more like her.
~*~
Chapter Five
Wyatt~
I wonder if this is what Aiden felt like. She’s right, there are plenty of girls out there but what I felt when I kissed her was amazing. I want to feel it again.
I’m not happy that she’s rattling my cage. Not one bit. But the harder she tries to push me away the more I want to know why.
I can see she’s tired but then why doesn’t she sleep? And the fake smile thing struck a cord. She sounds just like me. For those few minutes she stood there trying to convince me why I shouldn’t be interested in her, she described me to a T.
So instead of leaving like I should when she heads into the house, I go after her. I grab hold of her arm to turn her back to me and then I see her red-rimmed eyes. She’s trying so hard to keep the wall up. I pull her against my chest and she caves. She cries.
Is this how it felt for Zac?
I’ve had victims cry on me before but this is different. This girl I want to hold and for some reason beyond my understanding I want to make it all better for her.
I move my hand up into her hair and press her head under my chin, while I hold her closer.
“I’m sorry for being such an ass,” I apologize because for the first time I feel the need to. “But, can you blame a guy,” I revert to joking to try and cheer her up, “you can’t go walkin’ around in just two pieces of fabric and expect a guy to not try.”
“Fine, from now on I’ll wear ugly old slacks and sweaters,” she tries to tease back her voice hoarse from crying.
“You’re already deprivin’ me of sex, don’t go deprivin’ me of the sight of you. By all means walk around naked. Don’t let me stop you,” I tease her and it’s working, because the tears are stopping.
She pushes away from me and glances up. Head over fucking heels. I’ve heard that expression before and now I know what it means.
Looking down at Scarlett’s face streaked with tears I know I haven’t seen anything more beautiful in my life. And then her mouth curves into that daring smile.
“If you want naked you’re more than welcome to strip down. This is as naked as you’ll ever get me.”
She’s trying but I can see she’s tired.
“Come on, no stripin’ today,” I say. I walk her to the couch. “I’ll settle for second best and be happy with you just sleepin’ with me.”
I watch her eyes go wide as I reach for the hem of my shirt. I drag it over my head and fold it neatly before placing it on her coffee table. Her eyes drop to my chest and then lower to the tattoo over my ribs.
Aiden and I got our tattoos together, right after Laurie died. He went all tribal and got an eagle done over half his chest and arm. He wanted his tattoo to represent the fight Laurie always had, so it could remind him to never give up, to keep the fight alive for her. I just had the raven done for Laurie. She loved them and the tattoo makes me feel closer to her, like I got to keep a piece of her.
“Don’t go all tense now,” I whisper to break the silence. I sit down on the couch and I take hold of her hand. I tug her closer until her legs touch mine. “I mean real sleep as in close your eyes and sleep, Scarlett.”
“Oh,” the word explodes over her lips and she flushes.
She sits down next to me and I smile reassuringly. “You’ve never done this before? Just sleep with someone?” I ask.
“No,” she says, looking pretty nervous. I can only imagine what she’s going to look like when we have sex.
I freeze for a second. Since when did we become a ‘we’?
I reach for her and pull her down with me so she’s wedged between the couch and my body. I bring her hands up and place it between us, over my heart, just like I did when we were dancing. She lies frozen for about five seconds before she starts to relax against me.
“Now sleep. You’ll wake up in one piece,” I assure her.
“That’s not what I’m afraid of,” she says and then she laughs once before pressing her cheek against my chest.
“Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger,” I say even though I know I won’t stay one for long.
“You still consider yourself a stranger, Wyatt?” she asks.
“No,” I answer truthfully.
“Just be here when I wake up,” she says and I hear the fragile tone in her voice.
“I will,” I reassure her and I watch her drift off within minutes.
I should catch up on the sleep I lost this morning but instead I go over the past two days. We’ve seen each other every other family vacation but we don’t really know each other. Her older sister, Morgan, sometimes played with Aiden and Laurie. But I never got to know them. I barely know this girl, but still … she’s rattled my cage.
~*~
I wake up to her fresh sweet smell. The side of my face is
pressed against her head and I’m breathing hair. I tried this once before. I got so damn irritated with the hair in my face that I promised to never do it again.
I turn my face into her hair and I breathe her in.
“You stayed,” she whispers and her hand moves from my chest to my side. She squeezes me tightly and I feel her hot skin against mine.
“I did,” I say a little too breathlessly. I clear my throat and try again. “What shampoo do you use? I figure if I get the bottle I can leave you alone and just sniff at it once in a while.”
She pulls back so she can look up at me. “It’s a herbal berry blend. Do you always hide behind jokes?” She asks me straight out.
“Mostly … just like you,” I throw it back at her.
She places both her hands on my chest and rests her chin on top of them. It makes the muscles in my abdomen tighten.
“So … if we put all the jokes aside I think it’s safe to say you’re not an ass, Wyatt Holden. You’d like to come across as one to keep people at a distance and I’m fine with that, your secret is safe with me,” she says all smiles again.
“The girl better keep my secret. I don’t want women thinkin’ I’m nice. You’ll have to protect me from the masses that will decent on my place. Hell no.” I drop my hand to her back and when she doesn’t move I start to draw slow patterns over her silky skin.
“Well I kinda owe you for having my back … twice,” she says. She sighs and closes her eyes. “So it’s only fair that I keep you safe in turn.” She pushes herself up but then pauses and looks down at me. “Time to eat, you gonna stay for dinner?” she asks.
“You’re going to cook for me?” I ask, a dumbass smile forming on my face. “Will this be a date?”
She slaps me against the chest and pushes her body away from mine. “You’re a friend. Friends can have dinner together.”
I don’t like the sound of that.
I pull her down and cage her with my arms. Dropping my eyes to her mouth I ask, “Friends with benefits?” Her eyes jump to my mouth. I see the anxiety creep back in her eyes and I wonder what that is about.
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