I can’t keep it in anymore. It’s my third day and I’m crying at work.
When the first tears sneak out of my eyes, his face softens. I wipe fast at my cheeks and anger bubbles up because I’m crying.
“You can’t tell me what to do,” I say with no potency at all. I try my best to harden my racing heart and I lash out at him. “You got what you wanted, Holden! You’re going to cramp your style if you keep hangin’ around me. Don’t you have some quota to meet for the month?” I push by him and move as fast as I can without actually running through the office.
I go straight to the bathroom and I stay there until it’s time to go to my office. I don’t see Wyatt for the rest of the day and I’m thankful for that. I take in as much as I can from Old Bertha. I only have two weeks to learn what I can from her.
When I get home my heart settles in my boots with a loud thud. There’s another note.
I glance around outside and when I don’t see JP anywhere I go in and lock the door behind me.
I know you can’t sleep. I promise you’ll find rest by me. No one knows you the way I do. I was there when they left. I can take away your pain. JP.
I shouldn’t read them. I shouldn’t keep them either. But I do. I place the new letter with the others in the box.
I’m not going to let him make a prisoner of me in my own home. I change into shorts and a t-shirt and I grab a bottle of OJ. I start at a slow and steady pace up the road. When I reach the corner I stop to drink some OJ. I turn left and carry on at the pace I’ve set and it’s only halfway up that block that I get a weird feeling … the chills.
I glance behind me but there’s nothing. It’s only my imagination running away with me.
I stop at the next corner and drink some more OJ. I glance around me. There are cars parked along the side of the road, but I’m the only one outside. Every now and then a car drives by, but other than that I’m alone. I turn left again and carry on at the steady pace but the chills keep getting worse and the paranoia starts to eat at my stomach. I quicken my pace. I shouldn’t … but I do.
Children run out behind me, laughing and yelling and it gives me a fright. My heart races in my chest as my feet hit the pavement. My vision starts to blur and the need to make it home makes me run faster. I can’t faint out here. I’ll be vulnerable and unable to protect myself!
Someone steps into the path in front of me. My tongue and face goes numb with prickles of fear. I slow down to a stop and suck in air. Should I keep going and hope for the best? Should I turn around and run back?
The person walks toward me and my vision goes all blurry again. My breaths are raspy. I can’t breathe enough air in.
“Scarlett,” I hear Wyatt’s voice and then I feel his arm circle me. The whole day has just been too much. I drop the bottle and grab hold of him, as tight as I can. A sense of safety overwhelms me. I feel so safe with Wyatt. The tightness in my body starts to ease.
“It’s okay, Babe,” he whispers in my ear after a few seconds.
His arms tighten around me as we walk. I’m too tired to notice anything around me. When he closes the door behind us and I look up, I realize I’m standing in his apartment.
Wyatt lives really close to me.
~*~
“I’m sorry for what I said to you earlier,” I mumble an apology. It’s the first thing that comes to mind.
He ignores it and as soon as we make it to the living room, he comes to stand in front of me.
“You gonna tell me why you were runnin’ like that?” he asks instead.
“Just getting’ paranoid with the letters,” I try and explain my stupid behavior away.
He tilts his head to the side and frowns. “Letters? There is more than one? You only told me about the one.”
I nod. I shouldn’t have mentioned them. I’m making so many mistakes when I’m around Wyatt!
“Give me a second and I’ll take you home so you can show me,” he says.
He disappears into another room. I walk to the black lounge suite and take a seat. I look around and see a huge flat screen, a sound system … the normal stuff you’d expect to find in a bachelor pad. There are some photos of his family. He comes out dressed in jeans and a black shirt. The dark colors really suit him.
“Let’s go,” he says.
I wipe self-consciously at my face and follow him out. It feels awkward being around him. I keep doing my best to run him off but he just won’t go.
He opens the passenger door for me and I get in. The awkwardness gets worse in the confinement of the car.
“I’ve come to a conclusion,” he says suddenly. “You see me as a player and yes I’ve done things I’m not all that proud of. But, I’d really like to be your friend, if you’d just let me.”
I glance at him. “Turn left, then another left. It’s the third apartment block,” I give directions instead of answering him.
When he parks in front of my apartment block I turn to face him.
“I can’t be your friend. I can’t go to the movies with you or have a drink, or do any of the things friends do … not with you,” I say. Honesty is the only thing I can give him. “I’m way too attracted to you, Wyatt. Friends don’t want to grab each other all the time.”
He starts to smile, that slow sexy smile and I reach for the door. I don’t have the strength to try and stop him if he so much as kisses me!
“Wait.” He reaches for my hand and I flatten myself against the seat to create some sort of distance between us. He pulls back and then says, “So you admit you’re attracted to me?” he asks.
I laugh cynically and shake my head. “Really, Wyatt? You think I’d sleep with just anyone?” I push the door open and get out.
I stalk up to my apartment and my anger vanishes when I push the door open and another piece of paper is lying on the floor.
I pick it up and fold it open.
You can run but you can’t hide. Don’t run to him, Scarlett. Run to me. I’m the only one that understands your pain. He doesn’t understand you the way I do. JP
I crumple the paper up and throw it.
I was right! He was watching me!
~*~
Chapter Eleven
Wyatt~
I close the door behind us and lock it. I need to keep a clear head now. I move by her and pick up the paper she threw on the floor. I read it and glance at her pale face. He struck a nerve. This guy knows her.
“Show me the others,” I ask nicely. We’re back to nice and easy. Only, I’m not feeling all that nice right about now. This is Scarlett and she’s not just another victim. She’s my girl and God help the perp when I get my hands on him again.
She points to a box in the kitchen and I walk over. There are so many! How long has this guy been stalking her for? I read some of them and they’re all along the same line.
“You have a bag for me?” I ask … nicely of course.
She gets one from a drawer and hands it to me. I bag them before I move around the counter to her.
“He knows you,” I start. “It’s clear in the letters. You still have no idea who he is?”
She shakes her head looking all miserable and angry.
“Any idea where he could know you from?” I ask. These are all normal questions.
“We moved around a lot until my mom got sick. I don’t know where I picked him up. He’s like a damn virus,” she snaps.
I can’t keep my distance, no matter how hard I try. I take another step closer and brush the hair out of her face. She doesn’t move away from me and I take it as a good sign.
“Come here,” I say. I need her to come to me.
She glances up at me and her eyes are filled with the same need I’m feeling. If I can just figure out why she keeps fighting us. She gives in for now and she takes the final step, closing the distance between us.
I wrap my arms tightly around her and inhale her, taking a deep breath. Since we made love, I don’t know where I end and she begins. I don’t know how I
ended up falling so hard for this girl so quickly.
~*~
I just hold her a while. I take what I can get before she pulls away.
“I don’t know what to do, Wyatt,” she says as she starts to make us some coffee. “Moving obviously doesn’t help. He follows me wherever I go.”
“I’ll check in with Oceans Isle tomorrow first thing and see what they have on him,” I say, and I take the milk from her when she takes it from the fridge.
I place the carton on the counter and take hold of her shoulders, turning her to me.
“Scarlett,” I say to make her look up at me, “I’m here. I’m not gonna let him near you.”
Her hands settle on my waist and she nudges her forehead against my chest.
“You can’t be around all the time,” she sighs, “but thanks for caring. It does mean the world to me.”
“I can protect you better if you were with me all the time,” I drop the bomb and wait for the explosion to go off.
“I won’t let him chase me out of my own home,” she murmurs against my chest. No explosion. Yet.
“I understand, but I can see you’re tired. You’re not sleepin’,” I say carefully and now I know why she doesn’t sleep. She’s scared to let her guard down for even a second. “I won’t sleep knowin’ you’re not safe. Let me stay the night. Just sleepin’.” I hold my breath and wait.
“Just sleepin’,” she says and I hug her closer, breathing her in again.
“But first we eat. I’ll go get somethin’ and some clothes,” I let her go, but stop halfway to the door. The last time I left her she disappeared on me.
She walks over to me and reaches a hand up to my face. I lean into her touch. “I’m really sorry, Wyatt. I promise I won’t ever do that again. I didn’t mean to hurt you, it’s just-” she stops and pulls away from me again.
Every single fucking time. The one second I think she’s going to talk and then she closes down on me.
“It’s what?” I push. “What’s really stoppin’ you from giving us a chance?”
She stares at the carpet for a moment before she speaks. “People always mean good when they start relationships but then there is always one that gets hurt when the other dies. Relationships aren’t meant to last.”
Each one of her words stabs deeper than the first.
“How can you say that if you haven’t even tried?” I ask.
“I’d rather be safe than sorry.” She tries to smile but fails.
“You’re a walkin’ contradiction, Scarlett,” I start to argue. “You went at me for being all heartless about sex and I showed you differently.” I try to remember her words. “You asked what happened to make me so detached from people but it’s not me, it’s you who won’t let anyone in.”
“I know,” she snaps. “You don’t have to point it out. I know how screwed up I am! It was wrong and selfish of me to have asked you for that one night, when I knew I couldn’t give you more. But I really thought you would be the one to leave … and you didn’t,” she sighs. “I can’t give you somethin’ I don’t believe in.”
The real question is why doesn’t she believe it can work?
~*~
I leave it at that and go get food and some clothes. I drive around the block to make sure I don’t see the asshole before I park in front of her apartment. My heart starts going crazy when I head for her door. The last time I did this she was gone. I’m actually shaking when I knock on the door.
She opens seconds later. I let out a breath of relief before I scowl at her.
“You didn’t ask who it was,” I scold her.
“But I was expectin’ you,” she argues.
“Still,” I walk by her and place the pizza on the counter. I go back to lock the door before I turn to her, “I’m gonna move in if you keep this up.”
She smirks at me. “I’ll charge you rent.”
“So, I’m gonna ask,” I start as she takes out the plates, “no next of kin? Why didn’t you put down Morgan?”
She doesn’t stop what she’s doing but continues to get glasses out. “I have no beer so you’re really gonna have to settle for coffee or OJ,” she answers instead.
“OJ’s fine,” I get busy placing pizza slices in the plates.
“You want to sit in the living room?”
“Sure.” We move and once we’re comfortable I lift my eyebrow. “You’re really not going to answer?”
Her shoulders slump and she sighs hard. “Morgan doesn’t know I have diabetes. It started a year ago, so I’m still trying to get used to it myself. If I faint I don’t want them phonin’ her. She’ll worry.” she reverts to joking.
“Why didn’t you put your parents then?” I prompt for more information.
“They passed on,” she says and it’s starting to feel like an interrogation. She smiles suddenly. “Tell me about your family. So Aiden got married?” she asks, trying to divert the conversation to me.
“Yeah, last year. He met her while workin’ a case. Mom and Dad’s doing well.” I wait for her to ask and she does.
“I met Zac this mornin’. Is he Laurie’s husband? Aiden introduced him as your brother-in-law?”
“Yeah, they got married.” I take a breath. If I don’t open up she won’t. “Laurie died about four years ago. Zac’s still pretty lost without her.”
Scarlett swallows hard. She reaches for her juice and I watch her take a sip.
Normally people say stuff like they’re sorry to hear, but not Scarlett.
“All the more reason why I don’t get involved. I don’t intend endin’ up like Zac,” she says and her voice sounds cold and heartless.
~*~
I can’t get over what Scarlett said or how she said it.
We shower, separately of course. When she comes out of the bathroom I reach for her hand, tugging her closer to me.
“Do you still need to get somethin’ or can we get in bed?” I ask. I’m tired. I just want to sleep now.
“I’m good,” she says, and she smiles, looking a bit nervous.
I leave her to check the door I’ve just locked, and switch of the light in the living room. I glance through the small space one more time before I follow her into the room. I’m just in time to see her crawl onto the bed. She’s the only girl I know who can make slacks and an old t-shirt look sexy.
I drag my shirt off and hang it over the chair by her dresser before I switch the light off. For the first time ever my stomach does a nervous turn as I slide in under the cover. I reach for her and pull her against me. I weave my hand into her hair and press her head against my chest.
“Sleep now,” I whisper. I take a deep breath of her and close my eyes.
“Wyatt,” she whispers, “I know I have no right but can I ask you one thing?”
“Sure,” I murmur in my semi-happy bubble.
“Remember that breathin’ thing I told you about,” she says it into my chest and I’m really trying hard to ignore her breath fanning over my skin.
The only breathing thing she told me about involved kissing me.
“You might have to remind me to make sure I’m not thinkin’ of the wrong breathin’ thing,” I joke.
She eases herself up and she looks down at me. I can’t see her expression all that well in the dark.
“I can’t breathe,” she admits. “It feels as if that man is reaching inside of me and squeezing the air from my lungs.”
I shake my head lightly. I really don’t understand her. They say women are from Venus and men are from Mars, but Scarlett’s from a whole ‘nother solar system.
“I don’t understand you. I can’t keep up with what you want and what you don’t want,” I try to explain how she’s making me feel.
She drops her head back to my chest and as much as I do want to kiss her I’m not going to give in to her. I want more, not just a kiss. I want all of her.
~*~
I wake up to Scarlett gasping for air. Her breaths are fast but it sounds like they’
re slamming into her throat. I push myself up and over her, and I frame her face with both my hands.
“Scarlett, wake up,” I say right by her ear but she keeps gasping. Worry coils in my stomach. “Baby,” I breathe against her lips, “breathe for me.”
Her eyes snap open and they focus on mine. She takes a breath and it sounds painful but I keep my mouth right by hers, breathing.
“You’re okay,” I say, and it’s more to reassure myself.
A tear slips into her hair and I can’t hold back, I press my mouth to hers and she grabs hold of me. She breathes again, deeply and my heart expands.
I don’t kiss her the way I want to. I only nip at her bottom lip twice before I pull back. I tuck her head in under my chin and my eyes catch the red flashing numbers on the bedside clock. It’s four am.
“Did you have a nightmare?” I ask. I know Emma has them sometimes, but they’re fading now.
“No,” she whispers and she burrows her face further into my neck. She takes another deep breath.
“You know you can tell me anythin’,” I try to coax it out of her.
“It just felt like I couldn’t breathe,” she murmurs against me.
“Talk to me,” I say to get her talking. I intertwine my fingers into her hair. When she tightens her hold on my waist, I drop my hand to her wrist, drawing patterns up her arm.
“You know what’s funny,” she starts and she laughs, one of those spurt-laughs, “I’m scared of being alone. I don’t want to be alone.”
She turns away from me, turning her back to me. I move with her, framing her body with mine. I slip my arm in under her head and with my other I pull her tightly to me. She takes hold of my arm, pressing her face against my hand.
“Then don’t be alone,” I whisper against her hair, “be with me. I’m right here.”
“I can’t. I told you, being with you means I can lose you,” she says, and she sounds sad. I don’t understand her.
“So you would rather be alone than risk being happy for a moment?” I ask.
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