I shake my head. My mind is racing again, a hundred words a second. I feel embarrassed about what I told him, what I shared with him. There are just some things that are meant to remain buried but I can’t help myself when it comes to him.
I can’t look up at him, so I find the next best thing to focus on, the sound system.
“The girl likes music, so I thought I’d play you something,” he says. “Will you dance with me?” he asks, holding out his hand to me.
I take it and he leads me over to the sound system to press a button. Then he pulls me to him. Taking hold of my hand, he holds it to his heart. We move really slow, just like the song.
I start crying with the chorus; ‘I won’t give up on us. Even if the skies get rough. I’m giving you all my love. I’m still looking up.’
~*~
At the age of twenty-three you think you know everything. You think because you’re an adult the world is your oyster.
It’s not. The world is not some oyster filled with treasure. The world is hard and unforgiving. It tries to shape you into the person you should be, and if you’re not strong enough it will break you.
Most people just pass through your life to help shape you in some way. But then there are a handful of people who will test you. They are sent to either make you or break you.
I’m not sure where Jeffrey fits in. Personally, I think he was sent straight from hell to torture me.
I made a mistake leaving the apartment, and it will be one I’ll regret forever. I was so stupid when I thought I could take on the world. I made a mistake and it will be one that will cost me my soul.
Because of Jeffrey I’m nothing, not even a ghost of the person I used to be.
I go through the everyday motions, trying to cling to my routine. I shower. I eat. I take my meds.
I’ve become dependent on Wyatt, and that’s a really bad thing. I hate this needy girl I’ve become. I want to be that strong woman again.
I struggle to find any traces of her. The memories sneak up on me, and then I’ll feel that fucker’s hands pawing at me, I’ll feel him sweating on me. I hear his breaths in the dead of night. It feels as if I’m being violated over and over again.
~*~
A few days later I call Morgan.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper as she answers.
“Oh, Sweetheart. You don’t have to apologize to me. I understand that you’re going through a horrible time. I just wish you would let me be there for you,” she whispers. She sounds tired.
“I need you, Morgan,” I start to cry. “I need you so much.”
I hear her move. “You’re at Wyatt’s right?” she asks.
“Yeah,” I murmur.
“I’ll be there in a few minutes,” she promises.
I stalk up and down, walking a hole in the floor, while I wait for her to come.
There’s a knock at the door and rush to it. My hand stops inches from opening the door. “Who is it?” I ask. I’ve never asked that question before.
“Scar, it’s me,” I hear Morgan say and I yank the door open. Her arms go around me and my whole body jerks with the cries being ripped from me.
“I’m sorry … sorry I kept stuff from you,” I sob.
She closes and locks the door behind us and then we go to sit. Immediately her arms go around me again and she pulls me against her. I’ve missed my sister so much!
I rest my head on her chest and curl myself around her. She starts to brush her fingers through my hair. “You need to wash your hair. Let’s do your hair,” she says.
She pulls me up. “Where’s the bathroom?”
I lead her to it and I watch as she fills the tub with water. When the water is ready she turns to me. “Come on, hon.”
I step out of my pants and then drag the shirt over my head. She doesn’t gasp or flinch when she sees all the cuts. She waits for me to step into the bath before she kneels down beside it. “Lay back,” she whispers.
I move down into the water and I feel her hand behind my neck as she starts to wet my hair. This is how Momma used to wash our hair. She squirts on some shampoo and rubs it slowly in.
I close my eyes, relishing the feel of my sister washing my hair. She takes her time massaging the conditioner into my hair.
When I step out, she towel dries my hair as if I’m one of her kindergarten kids. She’s always been the one with patience.
We go back to the living room where she sits on the couch and I go to sit between her legs on the floor. She starts to brush the tangles out, slowly letting my hair dry.
We sit like this for a long while before the words come. “Just after Daddy died, I started feelin’ so sick. I went to the doctor and after some tests they told me I have diabetes.” I take a deep breath before I go on. “I didn’t want you to worry. I didn’t want you to get a call sayin’ I fainted, or worse, that I died.” Those fears look so stupid after all that’s happened these past few days.
“I wanted to save you the pain of watchin’ another family member die,” I whisper.
She keeps brushing, but I hear her sigh. “You’re not just a family member, Scarlett. You’re my little sister. It’s my duty and pleasure to look out for you.”
“I know,” I sigh and then go on before I lose the guts to tell her everything. “He started sendin’ me letters soon after Daddy died. I didn’t know who he was. The letters just kept coming and I thought they were stupid.” I look down at my hands. The cut marks are healing fast on my hands. “He attacked me down in Ocean’s Isle, but Wyatt was there. Wyatt told me to press charges but I didn’t. I just wanted it all to go away. I was on my way here to start my new life with you.”
“I shouldn’t have left you to settle all of Momma and Daddy’s things. That was wrong of me, Scar,” Morgan whispers, but I can hear the sadness.
“You already had your job here. I was between university and findin’ a job. It was the right thing to do.” I turn around on my knees and slip my arms around her waist. I press my face to her stomach and whisper the words I’ve been struggling to say, “He raped me. It hurts so much!”
Her arms come around me and she presses a kiss to my half dry hair. “I’m so sorry, Scar. I wish I could take your pain away.”
I look up at her through my tears. “I’m sorry he took you too. I’ll go through it all again to save you, Morgan. I’m sorry he hurt you.”
She shakes her head, tears spilling over her cheeks. “Don’t say you’re sorry, Scar. You did nothin’ wrong. We did nothin’ to deserve what he did to us. He was sick and evil. He’s rottin’ in hell now, where he deserves to be. But, let’s not give him power over our futures.” She brushes my hair away from my face and smiles down at me. “Let’s take our futures back. Fuck him. He’s dead and cold and stuffed in the ground somewhere. We’re alive and that’s all that matters in the end. He didn’t kill us.”
She’s right. My sister is always right.
“I love you,” I whisper.
She smiles brightly and presses a kiss to my forehead. “I love you too, hon.” She takes hold of my chin and her eyes turn serious. “Don’t hide stuff from me again. Promise me.”
“I promise.”
She helps me prepare dinner for Wyatt, and it’s almost like old times. I find myself smiling for the first time in days.
~*~
Chapter Nineteen
Wyatt~
When I walk into the apartment it smells heavenly, and I hear laughter.
I find Scarlett and Morgan in the kitchen. Scarlett almost looks like her normal self again. There’s no trace of the broken woman I had to leave this morning.
“What smells so good,” I say to let them know I’m home.
Scarlett walks over to me, places her hands on my shoulders and kisses me. She smiles up at me but I can still see the pain in her eyes. “You’re home. We made dinner. You don’t mind if Morgan stays for dinner?”
I shake my head and smile back at her. “Not at all. That would be great.” I
look to Morgan and say, “Hey, Morgan, good to see you again.” I go to change out of my uniform and when I come back out they’ve set the plates out at the breakfast bar.
Scarlet comes to take my hand and she leads me over to a stool. I sit down and watch as she gets all domestic on me. They’ve made pasta. I’m starving so as soon as we’re all seated with a plate of pasta, I dig in.
“So, Wyatt,” Morgan gives me a serious look. “What are your plans with my sister?”
I choke on the bite I just took. That’s not what I expected tonight. I clear my throat and get ready to answer when they both start to laugh. Scarlett presses a kiss to my cheek and then says, “She’s just jokin’. You can relax.”
I watch them both take a bite of their food before I even attempt to relax.
“I have a photo of Scarlett running down the street with her dress pulled over her head, showing her ass to whoever was around. Remind me to show you when you come by my place sometime.”
Scarlett laughs and really looks happy. “You still have that photo? I have that baby one of you where Daddy’s hosing your ass because he didn’t know how to do your diaper.”
I start to laugh because that’s actually funny. I can see myself doing the same thing one day.
The whole night I sit and listen to them reminiscing over the past. It so nice to see Scarlett happy. She needed this time with her sister.
I lock the door after I made sure Morgan drove off safely. I peek into the bathroom and watch as Scarlett brushes her teeth. When she’s done she smiles up at me. “You were quiet tonight,” she whispers.
I walk to her and frame her face with my hands. “Did you have a good day?”
“Yeah, it was fun and we talked about stuff.” She takes hold of my one hand and presses it harder against her cheek as she leans into it. “It helped to talk with her about it all.”
It hurts that she chose to talk to Morgan and not me, but I’m still glad she talked to someone.
I press a light kiss to her lips. “I’m gonna shower. I’ve locked up, go get in bed.”
I close the door behind her and lean my head against it. I could sleep for days. I’m so tired.
~*~
Scarlett slept better and that means I got some sleep. She looks a little down as I get ready for work and then she gets up from the bed and walks over to the closet. I made some space for her to hang her clothes.
I watch as she takes out a suit pant and matching jacket, and then a blouse.
“What are you doing, Babe?” I ask, adjusting my tie.
“I’m tired of just sittin’ around. I need to keep busy. I’m going to work.”
I stare at her as she starts to dress. “You sure you’re ready?”
“Yeah, as ready as I’ll ever be. I want my life back and startin’ today I’m takin’ it back from that fucker.” She buttons her blouse up and then looks at me. I can see determination on her face. “He might have hurt me but I won’t let him kill me. Morgan is right. My future is my own and I won’t let him have that too.”
I walk over to her and place a hard kiss on her lips. “I’m so fuckin’ proud of you. But, please take it easy on yourself. Phone me if you need me.”
She smiles at me and then kisses me. Her arms go around my neck and she deepens the kiss. It becomes a hungry living energy between us. When she pulls back her cheeks are flushed and her eyes sparkle with tears. “I love you Wyatt Holden. I’ve always loved you but right now I’m burstin’ with love for you. Thank you for being my dream come true.”
I can’t believe she said the words. I stand stunned in silence. I watch as she reaches for her jacket. She shrugs it on before I snap out of it. I walk to her and grab her in a huge bear hug. I lift her feet from the ground and laugh. She loves me!
I set her feet down and start to kiss every inch of her face. “I love you!” Kiss. “I love you.” kiss, “I love you so fuckin’ much.” And then I kiss her with everything I feel for her.
~*~
Scarlett still has nightmares, but they’re getting better. She still double checks the doors and windows.
After I’ve showered, I decide to have the talk with her. Instead of getting in bed I sit on the side so I can see her face.
“I was thinkin’,” I start, feeling quite nervous. I’ve never done something like this before, “why don’t you just let your apartment go and then you move in here?”
Her eyes lock on mine and her cheeks flush. “Are you askin’ me to move in with you, Wyatt?”
“Yeah,” I whisper. I crawl closer to her and let my fingers trail over her shoulder and down her arm. She’s comfortable now with me seeing her scars, with me touching them. I place a kiss on her shoulder and then look at her again. “I’d love to have you here with me permanently.”
“Does that mean that you want me?” she whispers and it takes a moment for me to realize just what she’s asking.
“Of course I want you, Scarlett!” I slip my arm around her waist and drag her down until she’s under me. Her hands settle on my shoulders. “I want you so much. Every thirty seconds I think of the ways I want to have you. The other thirty seconds I spent thinkin’ of that night I had you.”
“Will you make love to me then?” she asks, her voice quivering.
“Are you sure you’re ready?” I ask, not wanting to push her too fast. “I really don’t mind waitin’. I want you to be sure that’s what you really want.”
“It’s what I want. I need to feel your skin against my skin. I need to feel your breath on me, your weight on me. I want to feel you inside me, Wyatt. I want to feel only you.”
I take hold of the hem of her shirt and drag it over her head, and then I take her sweats off. I start at her foot and kiss my way up her right leg, over her knee, over her hip and then I feather kisses over her waist and breasts before I find her mouth. The kiss goes from tender to hungry really fast.
I get rid of my shorts and reach for the bedside drawer to get a condom. Scarlett breaks the kiss and breathing hard she says, “No condom. I want nothin’ between us.”
“But,” I want to give her everything she wants but I think it’s too soon for her to get pregnant.
“I’m on the pill, Wyatt. It’s okay.” She trails her fingers over my cheek and the day old stubble on my jaw.
I close the drawer and settle over her again. I kiss her tenderly before I move down. I sit on my haunches and spread her legs open. There’s no shyness on her part as I take in her beautiful body. There’s only need and want.
I brush my fingers over her abdomen and then I slip my hands between her legs. I slip one finger in and she closes her eyes. “Scarlett, open your eyes, I want you to see me. Look at me while I’m lovin’ you.”
I lean forward and breathe over her before I allow myself to taste her. As my tongue teases her, her hands find my hair. Her hips start to move in circles as I devour her. Her breaths come faster and then I stop. I hear her whimper with need as I kiss my way up her body again.
I slip one arm under her neck and shoulders, and my other hand moves down between us so I can position myself at her entrance. I keep my eyes locked on hers as I start to move into her. I only go in a few delicious inches before I pull out.
“Wyatt,” she breathes. Her arms go around me and she pulls my weight down on top of her. I push in again, slowly filling her with all of me. When I’m fully in her, I whisper, “I love you with all of me, Scar.”
She smiles a tender smile as I start to move, slowly in and out, slowly loving her.
She feels heavenly in my arms. It feels like I’ve finally come home. It feels like she’s finally mine.
She’s mine! I start to move faster and she moans with pleasure. “Harder,” she groans. “I want to feel you deep in me.”
I lift myself up slightly and then I thrust into her. She throws her head back, her body arching into my thrusts. I thrust a few more times and then she brings her hands to my hair. She pulls me down and kisses me.
I t
urn us around so she’s on top and she doesn’t miss a beat. She starts to move up and down, keeping the pace I’ve set. Her hands go to her hair. She’s fucking beautiful. I let my hands trail up and down her body as she rides me.
Her movements speed up. “Fuck … Wyatt!” she moans. I grab hold of her hips and thrust up to keep the rhythm going as she comes. “Oh … my … fuck,” she groans out as she rides the wave of pleasure and then I’m following.
Pleasure tingles up and down my spine as I thrust up one last time, emptying myself inside of her.
~*~
Chapter Twenty
Scarlett~
I’m lying sprawled over Wyatt just listening to his heart beating. It’s a beautiful sound.
Making love to him was perfect. I felt him everywhere and that’s what I needed. I needed to be loved by him, to know that he still wants me and sees me as a woman.
I fall asleep listening to his heartbeat and again I sleep through the night.
When I wake up, my cheek sticking to his skin, I feel a surge of hope and joy. I feel like there is hope for a future with Wyatt and I’m so happy.
It’s becoming a morning routine to get dressed together and then he follows me to work. We drive separately because sometimes he’s held up at work, and then I can still leave and I don’t have to wait for him. I can go home and fix something to eat for us.
On this particular morning I get my shot ready when Wyatt comes and takes it from me. “Will you show me how to read your blood and to give you this?”
I stare at him. “Why?”
“So I know how to do this,” he says, still inspecting the shot. “I want to know everythin’ there is to know about you, that includes the diabetes.”
I smile and then I start the whole procedure over, showing him exactly what to do. His eyes take in everything. I’ve never seen him so focused before. I can’t keep the silly smile from my face as he gently takes hold of my skin and gives me the shot. It’s in this moment that I know he really loves me.
I stand on my toes and kiss his cheek. “Thank you for takin’ care of me.”
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