"Just because she's a Sudder, doesn't mean she lies all the time," said Adrien.
"Jax," Gage turned to the man lighting the fire, "will you tell this fool that she's our enemy."
"He knows. Killian?"
The man whispering to the horses looked around.
"Scout the perimeter."
Killian was the smallest of the men in build. Though still quite tall, he was rangy and long-limbed, though I suspected he was a lot stronger than he looked. He smiled more than the others, but only to himself, as if enjoying some private joke.
"What are you planning to do with me?" I asked. Since one of my questions had been answered, I felt that a precedent had been established and was slightly less nervous about asking more.
"Adrien, put some food on." It was becoming clear that Jax was the one in charge.
"Was kidnapping me - or someone like me - part of the plan?"
"Gage, we need fresh water."
"What was the plan? I really don't know much about the war. They don't tell us anything."
"All clear, Captain." Killian returned.
"Good." Jax nodded.
"Do we have soldiers like you on our side? I suppose we must - but I've never seen them."
Adrien slung a pot over the fire and I tried a different subject.
"What are we eating? I've only had food from the temple precinct, which, to be honest, is pretty much all the same. Do you guys eat different food to us? Is that what the war's about? What is the war about? You'd think I'd know but they genuinely don't tell us anything. Are you going to allow me to eat?"
They continued to ignore me as Gage returned with water. "She still talking?"
"Yep," acknowledged Jax.
"Well, I'm sorry but I don't know what else to do," I pouted. "I don't know how to find anything out other than by asking. Let me tell you," they all went about their business, completely ignoring me as I spoke, "until yesterday, every day of my life has been the same. And I've hated it for as long as I can remember. Everything I like doing, everything fun, just gets me punished. Do you know what that's like? I'm guessing not, you all look like guys who do what they're told. Well, it sucks. And if I said 'sucks' back home then Caretaker Harvest would slap my face. That's my life. I mean, you probably have troubles, too - you're soldiers so you're facing death and all that. I'm not saying my life is worse than yours but... Well, at least you know what yours is. Until yesterday, I didn't know that I was going to be sacrificed - that that is all my life has been about. They didn't even tell me that."
"In fairness," said Adrien, the first to cave in and speak to me, "you can understand why they might not tell you that."
"Maybe," I acknowledged. "But it's a hell of a thing to learn. Hey, can I ask what a Sudder is?"
This time they all looked at me in blank astonishment.
Jax was the first to speak. "You don't know what a Sudder is?"
"Believe me; you could fill the world with all the stuff I don't know."
"You're a Sudder," said Gage, spitting the word like he didn't want it in his mouth.
"I am?"
"We're Norrens," Adrien explained, "you're Sudders. The Sudders are your people. How can you not even know who you are?"
I sighed. "I'm one of the Chosen. That's all I've ever known. And all you need to know if you're destined to become a sacrifice."
Adrien turned to Jax. "It may not have all gone exactly to plan but it sounds like we got what we came for."
Jax shook his head grimly. "One won't do. They'll have a back-up plan."
"You attacked just to kidnap me?" It was kind of nice to feel special.
But Jax shook his head. "One of what you call 'the Chosen'. Actually, more than one, but you screaming your head off kind of changed our plan."
"What was your plan?"
Jax went back to the fire to stir the pot but Adrien answered. "To disrupt the sacrifice. We - that is to say, Norrens - we have tried many times to attack your citadels to the south, but the might of the Sudder army has always been too much."
"Because the volcano is with you," growled Gage.
"So, we devised a plan - rather than sending an army, we would send a handful of our best men..."
"That would be us," put in Killian, the slight smile still on his face.
"...to kidnap some of the virgins to be sacrificed. So; no sacrifice - no volcano god on your side. Get it?"
"Mostly," I nodded, "but what's a virgin?"
The men all looked at me.
Chapter 5
Apparently, I had found a magic word. Suddenly, all the men, even Gage, who had been keeping such an assiduous eye on me, couldn't look away from me fast enough, all staring at the ground and shuffling their feet awkwardly. Clearly this was a powerful word and it was nice to have this unexpected power over these powerful men, but I still wanted an answer to my question.
"Sooooo; what does it mean? Anyone?"
Adrien was the first to look up, albeit reluctantly. "When you say, 'what does it mean', you don't really mean 'what does it mean', do you? I mean, you do have some idea. In theory, if not in practice. You know the general gist, right? You've got a basic idea, yes?"
I shook my head. "No. When I say 'what does it mean' then I mean exactly that. I don't know what it means. I saw the word for the first time yesterday."
"Right," Adrien nodded, "okay. Fair enough. No problem. We're all men of the world and explaining that to you is no problem whatsoever. For any of us. Gage, would you like to take this one?"
Gage glared at his comrade. "This is what happens when you let your prisoners talk. We don't have to answer her questions. She should be answering ours."
"Yes, well, now she's asked... Killian?"
Killian shrugged his shoulders expressively. "I never paid attention in biology."
"Seems like you're just making an excuse."
"It means," Jax took control of the conversation, which was clearly going nowhere. "It means..." He looked around as if the answer might be conveniently written out in the darkness somewhere. "It means 'unknown to man'."
The others all nodded and muttered a vague acknowledgment of this explanation, but I didn't feel any the wiser.
"Well, then I don't see how that can apply to me."
"No?" Jax sounded surprised.
"Well, Senior Rowan knows me," I pointed out. "I wouldn't say we were close but he knows my name. Most days. He forgets a lot, but that's just because he's old. But the other Priests know me as well and they're all men."
"Right," said Jax slowly. "Tiny misunderstanding. When I say 'unknown' I wasn't talking in the sense of whether or not they knew you..."
"You can see why that confused me."
Jax's eyes hardened and I felt my stomach contract in fear. I couldn't forget that these people had kidnapped me - they were my enemies.
"Yes. I can accept it might have been confusing." Jax held up his hands. "No more beating about the bush. It means a woman who is 'untouched'."
"And that's not beating about the bush?" Adrien raised an eyebrow.
"I can't put it any plainer than that," snapped Jax.
"In that case, I'm not sure you've been doing it right," said Adrien slyly.
"Doing what right?" I asked. "I'm sure I'm being very stupid but I'm still in the dark over here."
"A virgin," seeing his leader's failure and embarrassment seemed to have emboldened Adrien, "is a woman unfamiliar with the pleasures of the flesh."
That I did understand and nodded. "Well, that does apply to me, and all of the Chosen."
Adrien gave a satisfied smile. "There. All sorted."
"Although," I added, "I heard a rumor that one of the girls smuggled some in."
Adrien's smile faded. "Some what?"
"I think it was pork," I said. "Possibly chicken. To be honest, I'm not sure I believe it. I don't know anyone in the temple precinct who would break the rules like that apart from me, and it wasn't me so it's probably just a rumor. The rumo
r said she threw up after eating it, so if she couldn't keep it down, does that mean she's still a virgin?"
Jax was smiling broadly. "Over to you, Adrien."
Adrien winced. "Yes. Another tiny misunderstanding. Not that kind of flesh. Man and woman flesh."
I gasped. "We're not cannibals! Do Norrens eat human flesh? Is that what the war's about?" Seemed like a pretty good reason for a war to me.
Adrien put his head in his hands and Killian stepped forward. "Do you know where babies come from?"
"Of course." I wasn't an idiot. "Women give birth to them."
"But how do they get in the women?"
"The god Gravis puts them there."
Killian stepped back again. "This is beyond my pay grade."
"Does it have anything to do with the Devil's Doorbell?" I asked, hoping that if I gave them a starting point they might be better able to enlighten me.
"What the hell is a Devil's Doorbell?" asked Gage, intrigued despite his antipathy toward me.
I told them.
For a moment after I had finished, the men stood silent, refusing to meet my gaze or each other's. Then Jax cleared his throat and spoke in a raspy voice.
"It's late and we've got a long ride tomorrow, let's get some sleep."
"But I still don't know what a virgin is," I protested.
He rounded on me, a temper I had not previously seen in him suddenly flaring up. "Do you understand the situation here? You are a captive. A prisoner of war. We will treat you humanely because we are good people but that does not mean we will answer every damn fool question you have. Is that understood?"
I nodded meekly.
"Tie her up and bed down," snapped Jax, and he stalked away.
I don't know why his outburst shocked me so much. Everything he had said was true. I was their prisoner and here I was chatting away with them. More than that; they were the enemies of my people. I might not be disposed to feel a great deal of loyalty towards the Sudders - having only known I was one of them for the last fifteen minutes - but that did not matter to these men. They might have been planning to murder me and all the rest of the Chosen as we slept for all I knew. They were not the sort of people I should be having chummy conversations with.
And yet, for a brief time there, I had found them to be good company. I had found them easier to talk to than anyone I had known in all my life. I had asked them questions and they had tried to answer. They had failed but they had tried. If I asked questions of the Seniors I was told not to speak to Priests; if I asked the Caretakers I was punished; if I asked the other girls they told the Caretakers and I was punished; even if I asked Sadie she might well shy away from the question or tell me I shouldn't be asking. Someone actually trying to give me an answer was new and I liked it.
But if I was struggling to remember that these men were my captors then the point was brought home when they tied me up for bed.
"How about I just promise not to run away?" I suggested to Adrien and Killian, who had been charged with tying my hands and securing one of my ankles to a nearby tree.
"Sorry," said Killian. "If it's any consolation, we tie up the horses, as well, and they're on our side."
"I'm not a horse."
"Get a good night's sleep," said Adrien, kindly, keeping his voice low so Jax and Gage wouldn't overhear. "And keep quiet. Jax'll be in a better mood in the morning."
All of it was good advice, but knowing that getting a good night's sleep is a good idea is very different to doing it when you'd had a day like the one I'd had and when your hands were tied behind your back. It was not a situation in which sleep came easily. And since I wasn't able to get comfortable enough to sleep, I found myself kind of bored, lying there, staring out into the darkness. I managed to stick to Adrien's advice about keeping quiet for maybe five minutes before boredom got the better of me.
"If you can't explain to me what a 'virgin' is then can I make some guesses and you tell me if I'm right or wrong?"
"No." Gage's sharp retort came out of the darkness. "Go to sleep."
"Is it something to do with nipples?"
"With nipples?" That was Adrien.
"Don't encourage her." Gage again.
"I just never really understood what they were for."
"Couldn't you ask someone?"
"I'm asking you."
"I mean, another Sudder. Someone from where you grew up."
I shrugged - which was a wasted gesture in the darkness. "You don't ask questions where I come from. Not unless you want to be punished."
"You'd get punished for asking what nipples are for?" asked Jax, joining in despite himself.
"Come to think of it; what are they really for?" asked Killian. "In men, I mean."
"Oh, they can have their uses," said Adrien, and the men laughed.
"Well, I don't know any of them," I put in. "Except that if you pinch them in the right way then sometimes it feels... I don't know how to put it. Nice?"
"As good a word as any."
"Is that what they're for?"
"No more questions," said Gage. "Sleep."
There was a long pause and I wondered how I would ever get to sleep.
"Aren't there any babies where you come from?" asked Killian.
"Stop encouraging her!"
"I suppose there must be," I mused, ignoring Gage. "Otherwise, there wouldn't be any people. I've seen a few. But really, not many."
"And you've never seen them feed?"
"I don't know. It's not something I really pay any attention to."
There was a brief silence as Killian took this in. "My opinion of the Sudders is really not improving."
"I guess if you're going to sacrifice people once they come of age then you don't teach them much," said Jax, grimly, his voice coming out of where the shadows were darkest. "You don't want to give them an idea of what they're missing or they might start getting ideas."
"What sort of ideas?" I asked, eager to keep the conversation going and find out at least some of that which had been kept from me all my life.
"There are no men where you live?" asked Adrien.
I was not sure how the topics of men, babies, virgins and nipples were linked but they did seem to be.
"There are the Priests," I replied. "But they're mostly old."
"Mostly?"
"I think Senior Gray was only sixty or seventy," I recalled. "But he didn't stay long. He was replaced by Senior Joachim, who was older."
"You've never seen a man younger than sixty?"
"Or seventy," I confirmed. Senior Gray had seemed quite extraordinary when he first arrived. He barely even limped, and he ate food that hadn't been mushed up for him first. Having seen Jax, Gage, Adrien and Killian, the sprightly seventy-year-old Priest suddenly seemed a whole lot less impressive. I had always known that there were oceans of knowledge that were being kept from me concerning the world beyond the walls of the temple precinct, but I was only just coming to terms with the depth and breadth of those oceans.
"Are all young men like you?" I asked. "Are all Norren men?"
"Like us, how?" asked Gage, his curiosity overwhelming his desire for me to shut up.
"Are they all as big as you?" I asked.
"Depends which of us you're asking," said Adrien, and the men all laughed as they had when he had said something about men's nipples.
"Well," I carried on, not knowing why this was funny, "I know Killian isn't as big as the rest of you, but he's still bigger than any man I've ever seen."
"Hear that, Killian?" called Gage, his tone lighter than I had so far heard it. "She knows your secret."
Again, they all laughed, leaving me increasingly baffled. How could Killian's size be a 'secret'? It was plain to see that he was the smallest of the quartet.
"Well, you might want to double-check that with your mom," replied Killian.
"Hey!"
"Guys." Jax's tone was conciliatory but with an edge of amusement, the subject seeming to bring even him to levi
ty. "None of you wins this argument. Because I win every time."
"Sweet that you think that," said Adrien. "But my record speaks for itself and there are many women who will confirm that."
"Amazing what some girls will settle for when they're desperate."
More laughter.
"Excuse me," I butted in, "but would anyone like to tell me what is so funny?"
There was another long silence, as awkward as the ones that had followed my virgin inquiries.
"Do you really have no idea?" asked Adrien.
"How many times do I have to tell you?"
There was another silence until Gage said, "Damn Sudders. What a waste of a good thing."
I wasn't sure what he meant but it seemed to be complimentary.
"Get some sleep." Jax brought the conversation to a close. "Long day tomorrow."
I tried to get comfortable on the ground but it was more than my hands being tied that was making it difficult for me to sleep.
"Jax?" I spoke cautiously; the leader of the group seemed changeable in his temper.
"What?"
"What's going to happen to me when we reach your home?"
There was a long pause and, although it was too dark to see anything, I could sense the others waiting for Jax's reply as much as I was.
"If you do as you're told and don't make trouble," Jax finally said, his voice stern but not angry, "and if you promise to do your best to adapt to our ways and follow our laws, then I will speak to the king on your behalf. Maybe with time you will be eligible to become a Norren citizen yourself. Once you have proven yourself."
Given how my own people had treated me that didn't sound like a bad deal. "I think I would like that."
"Well, that's a good start. Now go to sleep!"
I rolled over, suddenly finding the hard ground more comfortable than before. Above me, through the space in the trees left by the clearing, was a blanket of stars and I stared at them as I wondered at the speed with which my life had changed. Perhaps it was too early to say that it had changed for the better but, right at this moment, I felt better for it. Yesterday, I had lived a life of drear and toil and had nothing better to expect than a short, sharp shove into molten lava. Today I had traveled. I had seen more of the world than I had ever previously glimpsed - albeit in the dark. I had met new people and learned from them. I had been offered a new life in a new place. On top of that, my kidnapping seemed to mean that Sadie's sacrifice would not go ahead - offering the volcano too few victims was worse than offering none; it made it look like you thought twenty-four girls was all it was worth. And you don't mess with a volcano.
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