Chapter Eight
“So, have you fucked her yet?”
Graeme spun around, ready to punch whoever had spoken. He was shocked to see Conall standing there behind him in his tent. He hadn’t heard him come in, his thoughts had been so full of Avril. “What?” he asked, sure he’d misunderstood simply because of the base nature of his own thoughts. He blushed like a schoolboy, as if he’d been caught with his hand down his pants.
“I was wondering if you’ve fucked Avril yet,” Conall said. He walked in and made himself at home, sitting down on Graeme’s cot.
“I hardly think that’s a respectful way to talk about her,” Graeme said angrily, yanking his red sash into place over his left shoulder. He checked to make sure it wasn’t wrinkled over the epaulette on his jacket. Before he could straighten it out, Conall jumped up and stepped in close behind him. He fussed with the sash, straightening it and then smoothing it out down Graeme’s back. Then, after a moment’s hesitation, he reached around Graeme’s waist and smoothed the sash down the front to his hip, coming perilously close to Graeme’s cock, which was beginning to rise under his kilt. Graeme quickly jerked away and stepped forward.
“Well, now, we both know I’m in love with her,” Conall said, going back to sit on Graeme’s cot. “I’d never disrespect her.” At first he sat almost primly with his hands in his lap, but when he saw Graeme watching him, he lounged back on his hands, so that Graeme could see his cock was getting hard too. Graeme cleared his throat and turned away, not sure what the hell was going on.
“Why are you here, Conall?” he asked, picking up his spatterdashes. He needed to sit down to put the white spats over his half boots, but the only place to sit was the cot, next to Conall. He huffed in annoyance, at himself and Conall, and unceremoniously sat down on the cot. He bent over to put one spat on, and he could have sworn Conall moved closer. He jerked his head up to glare at the other man, who just sat there looking at him innocently, from about six inches closer than he’d been when Graeme sat down. He straightened. “I ask again, what are you doing here?”
“I just came to check on you and Avril,” Conall said, his hands held out in a shrug. “What’s wrong with that? I care deeply for her and consider you more than a friend. I know you’ve been keeping company with her and I was wondering how it was going. That’s all. I swear.” He stroked his beard as he eyed Graeme intently, and Graeme’s stomach actually quivered. “You haven’t answered my question.”
Graeme leaned back down and set the spat around his foot. Conall slid to the floor and crawled over to Graeme. When he was directly in front of him Conall crouched, his feet flat on the floor, his legs splayed wide, his kilt falling to his hips. Graeme had a good look at his hard cock and heavy stones hanging there between his legs. He was struck speechless. He raised his stare to Conall’s face with reluctance. Conall just crouched there, watching him. When Graeme’s gaze met his, Conall smiled and pulled off his gloves. “Let me help,” he said, reaching for Graeme’s foot. When their hands touched, Graeme felt like a live flame had touched his skin, and he jerked his hand back. Conall ignored his reaction and buttoned his spat into place. He held his hand out. “The other one,” he said. Graeme gave it to him without an argument, and Conall buttoned it on. Then he spread Graeme’s legs and scooted between them, leaving his hands on Graeme’s bare knees. “Now,” he said firmly. “Answer me. Have you fucked her?”
The proximity of Conall and his cock to Graeme’s cock made Graeme’s head swim as he grew light-headed. His palms began to sweat. “What are you doing?” he whispered.
“Oh, just testing out something Hamish told me,” Conall said.
At his words Graeme shoved him back and shot to his feet. “What did he tell you?” he demanded, sick over the betrayal. He’d thought their conversation was private, and Hamish would honor that.
Conall stood slowly. “He told me I ought not to let opportunity pass me by,” he said slowly. “He said I’d been given a second chance and not to squander it. He’s right, you know.”
“What opportunity?” Graeme asked, his mouth suddenly dry. He licked his lips and watched in fascination as Conall’s eyes followed the movement, his stare heated. Conall couldn’t mean what he thought he meant. Could he? He loved Avril, he’d said it. What was he doing to Graeme?
Conall stepped forward, trapping Graeme between him, the cot and the tent wall. “This one,” he said softly, reaching out to pass his hands lightly over the buttons on Graeme’s jacket. “I didn’t realize this would be it when I came here this morning.” He smiled up at Graeme. “But now is as good a time as any.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Graeme choked out, afraid to move a muscle.
“I think you do,” Conall said. He ran his hand up to Graeme’s shoulder and squeezed. “I don’t know what to do,” he confessed quietly, staring at Graeme’s throat. He finally raised his eyes to meet Graeme’s, and Graeme nearly lost his balance at the naked lust he saw there. “With Avril,” Conall went on, “I’d just kiss her, and undress her, and lay her down and fuck her. Is that what you did?”
Graeme shook his head. “I haven’t,” he told Conall in a rough whisper. “I want to, but I haven’t. I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t hurt me,” Conall told him, leaning in and pressing his lips to the front of Graeme’s throat. Graeme swallowed, standing there stiffly. “I want you to fuck her,” Conall told him, his lips moving against his throat. “I want you to fuck her and tell me about it. And someday soon, I want to watch you fuck her.” A groan escaped Graeme at Conall’s words. Conall pulled back and looked up at him again. “I know,” he whispered. “It would be so good, the three of us.”
“What has gotten into you?” Graeme asked in desperation. He grabbed Conall’s arms and held on tight. He knew he needed to push him away, but he couldn’t, not after wanting this for so long.
“I thought I was wrong in the head to want what I want,” Conall told him. “But I know I’m not, now. I know you want the same things. Tell me you want me, Graeme. Do it, tell me now.”
Graeme could not look away from those beloved blue eyes, eyes filled with a desire Graeme had dreamed of but never hoped for. “Aye,” he whispered. “You know I do.”
Conall grinned triumphantly. “We can’t, not now, not during the day. But tonight, after you leave Avril, I’ll come to you.” Conall slowly stepped away, his hand lingering on Graeme’s shoulder until he was too far away to maintain the contact. “I want you to fuck her tonight, Graeme, before you come to me.”
Graeme nodded, speechless, and with one last look, Conall slipped out of his tent.
Graeme sat in front of the fire outside her hut as Avril fed the last of the men who’d come round. There were about ten to fifteen who came now. They brought her their provisions, and she cooked for them. Graeme had told her that the French had women who served with the army who did the same job, but they wore a uniform and were paid by the army. The Frenchmen all ate together, instead of getting individual rations and being expected to cook for themselves, as the British were. Avril thought it sounded like a good idea. She knew many of the younger ones here weren’t eating enough and were coming down sick because of it.
Graeme seemed different tonight. He watched her with an intensity that had her tripping a time or two and blushing nonstop. People were going to think they were fucking, when they weren’t. She felt like the worst sort of whore because even though she still loved Conall, she wanted Graeme in her bed. She’d dreamed of what a fine fuck a man like him would be. Her desires were getting the better of her. She was never one who could go long without, and with Graeme coming around all the time again, he had her all wound up. But he’d told her it wouldn’t happen between them because of Conall. Because she still loved him, and he cared for and respected both of them. There were times, like tonight, she wished he wasn’t such an honorable man. Just like Conall and his damn honor that had torn him from her bed. She hastily turned away from Grae
me’s stare before he caught sight of the tears in her eyes.
A short time later, Avril gathered the dirty dishes from around the fire as Graeme put the fire out. He helped her bring the dishes inside and then stayed to help her clean them. They acted like an old married couple. She sniffed back tears again as she dried her hands on her apron. She wasn’t going to get to be an old married couple with either Graeme or Conall, she knew that. She really ought to be looking among the soldiers for a man, but she couldn’t, not after having men like them.
“What’s wrong?” Graeme asked, coming up behind her and placing his hands on her shoulders. He pulled her back so she rested on his broad chest, and she sighed in contentment.
“Nothing,” she lied. “The fire burned my eyes tonight is all. They’re all teary.”
“Conall didn’t come by again,” he said, slowly turning her to face him. He still held her close. “Is that what made you sad?”
She placed both palms against his chest and looked up at him. “No,” she said softly. “I don’t expect him to. He said his piece and made his feelings clear. Unless I go to him, he won’t come to me.”
“Then go to him,” Graeme urged, rubbing her back. She thought it was meant to be a soothing gesture, but it fired her blood and made her want to wrap her legs around him and see if he was as indifferent to her as he seemed.
At his suggestion she shook her head. “I won’t. He was right, it’s for the best. I’m not going to marry him. I can’t keep using him to warm my bed under false pretenses.”
“Then you don’t love him?” Graeme asked.
She couldn’t lie to him, not about Conall. He’d seen how devastated she was at his leaving. “I do,” she confessed. “I still do. But marriage between us is out of the question, and the longer he stays with me the less chance he has of attracting a lady.”
“Nonsense,” Graeme told her, his arms suddenly wrapped around her and holding her against him. “You’re a lady.”
“I’m not,” she whispered. “Or else I wouldn’t feel like this.”
Graeme leaned closer, his gaze straying from her eyes to her lips and then back. “Like what?” he whispered. His lips were very nearly touching hers, and Avril was strung tight as a bowstring, wanting him even closer.
“Like I want you,” Avril said, licking her lips. “In my bed. In my body.”
“Avril,” he said, and with a strangled moan he kissed her.
Chapter Nine
Graeme wanted to be the gentleman. He wanted to woo Avril and make love to her gently, as he knew she deserved. But he’d wanted this for so long. It was as though Conall’s words earlier had unleashed a beast inside him and he couldn’t control it. He was a brute and always had been. Hadn’t women told him so in the past? At the thought he tore his mouth from Avril’s and shoved her away. “I’m sorry,” he said, need clawing at him, his voice forced through a throat tight with it, his words garbled by his panting breaths.
“Never,” Avril said, approaching him cautiously, reaching for him. “Never be sorry for kissing me like that, like I’m the only thing keeping your feet on the ground.”
He laughed harshly. “Hardly. I feel as if I’m floating above it all, honor and pride and anything worth anything passing by under my boots.” He shook his head and looked at his trembling hands. “We shouldn’t,” he tried. “I shouldn’t.”
“We should. We will,” Avril said firmly. “I want you, and now I know how much you want me, I’ll not take no for an answer.” She’d reached him and pressed herself against him, her palms flat on his chest as she looked up at him, her neck craned back because the differences in their heights were so pronounced. “Take me. Please, Graeme.”
As though he had no control over it, his arms slid around her waist and held her tightly to him. “You should know that Conall told me to do it. Told me he wanted us to be together.” There was so much more to it. How could he tell her? He had to. He wouldn’t take her with lies between them.
Avril closed her eyes and her lip trembled slightly. “Handing me off, is he?” She rubbed her cheek on his jacket. “Well, I’m glad. I’m glad he’s seen the truth of it.”
“He’s done nothing of the kind,” Graeme told her. He cupped the back of her head and forcibly turned her to look up at him again. “He said he loves you still and wants you to be happy. He thinks taking me to your bed will make you happy. Will it?”
“Yes,” she told him, a bit of desperation in her voice. “Yes. He knows what a lusty woman I am. I crave it, Graeme. I can’t go without.”
It was Graeme’s turn to close his eyes against the desire clearly written on her face. “There are things you should know. About me,” he said. He felt her rest her cheek on his jacket again and opened his eyes to see her unbuttoning his coat slowly.
“All right,” she said. “Go on.”
“When Conall came to see me earlier…” His voice faded. He wasn’t sure how to go on. “I’ll go to Conall when I leave here,” he said in a rush.
“All right,” she said, smoothing her hand down his chest and stomach, not looking at him. “You can go and tell him we were together if it will make you feel better.”
He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back, leaning over to stare into her eyes. “No,” he said. “You don’t understand. I’ll go to Conall from here.” She looked confused. “You’re not the only one I want, Avril.”
“There’s another woman? You’ve got another woman?” she asked. She was obviously upset.
“No, not another woman,” he told her, willing her to understand without having to say the words. It wasn’t to be.
“I don’t know what you’re telling me, Graeme,” she said in exasperation. “I’m trying. Just say it. Who else do you want?”
“Conall.”
She still looked confused. “Well you can still be friends with him, can’t you?” she asked. “He said he wanted us to be together. And God knows I still love him, so I won’t fuss about your friendship.”
“He wants us to be together because he cares for both of us,” Graeme explained carefully. “He wants to be with me after I’m with you.”
“He wants to hear about it?” She blushed as she said it. “I don’t suppose there’s harm in that, is there? He’s been in your place.” She covered her mouth with her hand as her eyes got big. “I shouldn’t have said that,” she whispered after a moment. “No man wants to hear that.”
“Conall wants to hear that,” Graeme told her flatly. “I want to hear it. We both want to see it. And we both want to talk about it when the two of us are together. Like this.”
“What?” she asked, but he could see the start of a glimmer of understanding in her eyes.
“Conall wants to be my lover at the same time I am yours,” Graeme said baldly. “And I want it too. I needed you to know that before we did something you might regret.”
“Is that why he left me?” she whispered, backing away. “For you?”
“No,” Graeme told her, vehemently shaking his head. “No. He left because you wouldn’t marry him and he couldn’t bear to cause more talk about you. That was the truth. This…thing between him and myself…” Graeme turned away and wiped a hand down his face. “It’s my fault. I’m the one who’s been watching him like that, who had those feelings. He picked up on them, I suppose, though I tried to hide them. And everyone can see I care about you. I think our shared love of you is what prompted Conall to tell me how he felt.”
“That’s not true,” she said, sitting down on her cot. “I saw you two together, and I saw the mutual admiration, but I didn’t see it for what it was. I mean, I know of it, that men sometimes take each other like that.” She looked down at her hands and rubbed them together before she began pulling her gloves off. “I’m not sure how I feel about it, Graeme, you two together. The truth is I don’t even know what that means.” She looked at him as she set her gloves on the upside-down crate she used as a small table by her cot. “I do know it doesn’t change how
I feel about you. It should, shouldn’t it?” She looked puzzled more than anything else. “I don’t know. If I can care for both you and Conall, then I suppose you could both care for me and each other.” She threw her hands up in the air. “Why does it have to be so complicated?”
“Life is complicated.” Graeme smiled sadly. “I’ll leave. I’m no lover for a small, sweet woman like you, Avril. I’m too big, too much the brute. I’d hurt you. Just as I’ve hurt you with this talk of Conall.”
“Don’t you dare leave,” she said, standing with an alarmed look. “You can’t promise to make love to me and then leave. You can’t wind me up and leave me to spin here on my own.”
He was stunned. “You want me still, even after knowing that I’ll be with Conall? Have him as my lover too?”
She marched over and locked the door, then turned and glared at him, her back to the door. “Get undressed.”
It was answer enough.
As Graeme grabbed her and kissed her again, Avril’s knees went weak with relief. This was what had been eating at her conscience all the while she and Conall were together, the fact that she wanted Graeme like this. Had wanted him as badly as she’d wanted Conall. At first, Graeme’s size and his stiff, formal manner had frightened her a little. But she’d slowly come to see what a kind, loyal friend he could be. And then friendship hadn’t been enough and she’d dreamed of his large hands on her, his big cock in her, and she’d hated herself a little. Conall had been a wonderful lover, always so careful to give her pleasure, to do the things she liked and wanted. And still she’d dreamed of Graeme.
And now, with Graeme kissing the life out of her, she clung to him and still thought of Conall. She could still have him through Graeme, by sharing Graeme. That was what Conall meant, what he wanted. And it was what Graeme wanted as well. She thought of the two men together, talking about her. Would they kiss like this? Did men do that? She moaned against Graeme’s mouth, and he picked her up and slammed her against the door, pressing his kilted hips into her so she felt the hard shaft of his cock against her stomach. With both fists she clutched his hair and pulled him closer, opening her mouth and tangling her tongue with his. He grabbed her bottom and yanked her into him and she was dizzy with the lust coursing through her veins. He was rougher than Conall, hard and urgent, and she loved everything he was doing.
Conall: The 93rd Highlanders, Book Two Page 6