“Thank you for pushing me. It was exactly what I needed.”
“That’s what I’m here for.”
We both laughed. Then she sipped her wine, and I took a healthy gulp of my beer, savoring the taste—grainy, rich, and fresh.
“So is it the investment job?” she asked. “I’ve been dying to know.” The lines on her brow deepened; she was wary.
Still, I went with the flow. The investment job was the top candidate for my cover story anyway. “Yep. It came through,” I said. Then I tried to allay her fears. “But don’t worry. The salary isn’t commission. Otherwise we wouldn’t be eating fifteen-dollar burgers.”
“Good. Great!” The lines in her brow lessened. “And I’m sorry I was so negative about the job when you first brought it up. I just didn’t want you to have the pressure of making sales.”
“I understand. I should’ve filled you in on the details sooner. I don’t know why I suddenly became superstitious about jinxing it.”
“Because things haven’t been going our way. That’s why. But it looks like that’s changing.” She took a sip of her wine. “So fill me in.”
“It’s an investment company that trades in commodities.” Why I decided to use Ben’s cover story, I didn’t really know. I guess I figured if it had been good enough for him, it was good enough for me.
“How did you even come across that?” Jenny asked.
“It was a total fluke. A friend of a friend brought it up,” I said, and before she asked who—a question I didn’t have an answer for—I plowed ahead. “It turned out that this investment firm was looking for business reporters. They wanted seasoned reporters who had experience researching and investigating businesses, and who could churn out coherent reports. Well, I didn’t have the business reporting background, but I sure had the seasoned part, and the research and investigative part, and I showed them I could write a coherent report.”
“Well, you sold me.”
I laughed. “It was a little harder to sell them. That’s why it took a while.”
“It took a while, but they made the right choice. It does sound like a good fit. And it actually sounds like it’s going to be intriguing.”
“Luckily, I’ll have the chance to find out.”
“Amen to that.”
Our burgers arrived a few minutes later, and we dug in. The burger tasted great, and I had to believe that the good news played a role in that.
“I’m glad we went out to dinner to celebrate,” Jenny said.
“Me too. I’m even more glad I got a job.”
“Oh—what’s the name of the company?”
I couldn’t afford to hesitate, so I immediately blurted out the first name that fit the bill. “Archer Daniels Midland,” I said, remembering that in addition to being one of the largest food processing companies in the world, ADM was also one of the largest commodities traders in the world.
“Wow. Really?” she said.
“You sound surprised,” I responded. Had my lie grown too big?
“I guess I imagined the job was with one of those small boutique places in Westwood or something. If I’d known the job was with a megacorporation, I don’t think I would’ve had that negative reaction the first time you brought it up.”
“Because you think a job with a huge corporation is more secure.”
“Yeah—which is kind of weird.” She shook her head. “I mean, look at all the layoffs Warner Brothers just had.”
“It’s not that weird. I think the same thing. The bigger the company, the more secure. I guess we’ve both been brainwashed.”
She beamed again, picked up her glass, and raised it. “To bigger companies,” she said.
We clinked, laughed, and went back to enjoying our burgers.
As we ate, I had second thoughts about using Archer Daniels Midland as part of my cover story. If she ever got suspicious enough to check on the job, wouldn’t a more obscure company have been a better cover?
“What’s the salary going to be?” she asked.
“One hundred thousand.”
“That’s great, Eddie.” Her shoulders softened as if a great burden had been lifted from them. “And considering you’re changing fields, that’s more than great.”
I knew she’d be pleased with the salary, and if I had added “per target” to the one hundred thousand, she would’ve been even more pleased. Still, there was one more thing I could add to give her peace of mind.
“And I negotiated to have the health insurance kick in with no waiting period,” I said. “So if the insurance company doesn’t find a way around the new you-can’t-be-denied-because-of-a-prior-condition requirement, we’re going to be good on that front, too.”
“And Jake and Hannah are covered?”
“Yep.”
Tears welled up in her eyes. “Thank you, Eddie. Thank you for making sure the kids are going to be okay. That’s really all that counts.”
“You don’t need to thank me. It’s my fault we got into this position in the first place.” And it was. I was the one who had refused to adapt when the writing was on the wall.
Jenny wiped her tears away with the back of her hand.
Her tears moved me to build on my lie. I wanted her to know that we were going to be able to pay for her treatments, regardless of insurance.
“The job also pays bonuses,” I said. “Big bonuses. Ones that can go a long way toward paying for treatments out of pocket if you get denied by the insurance company.” That was about as close as I could come to telling her we were definitely going to be able to pay for her treatments, which would have been impossible for her to believe.
“Another benefit of the megacorporation,” she said.
“They just keep coming.”
“So how do you snag one of these bonuses?”
“By delivering.”
“On the reports?”
“Yeah—if a report turns out to be especially valuable, I get a bonus.”
“What makes a report especially valuable?”
“I don’t know yet. But I’m going to find out.”
JENNY
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I realized that Eddie’s job, or lack thereof, had weighed more on me than I’d imagined. The dinner had proved that. It had been a long time since I’d felt as normal as I had during that dinner. I actually felt happy, which played a big role in feeling normal.
When Eddie told me he’d gotten the job, and when it became clear that it was a good job, the black cloud of cancer suddenly dissipated. Not that it was replaced by blue skies, but it was replaced by partly sunny skies. And I could live with that. I could already feel the warmth of the sun shining through the clouds.
With our lives back on the upswing, we could move forward. Though there was nothing we could do about the cancer except go through the treatments and hope for the best, Eddie had done something about our financial instability. He’d sent it packing.
When we walked into the house after dinner, even the house appeared to have changed. It felt more inviting than it had in months. It felt like a place of strength, not the nexus of insurmountable problems. The truth was that money did make things easier. That was a fact of modern life.
In the kitchen, Eddie wrapped his arm around my waist, kissed me, and then said, “Why don’t you go ahead and text Jake and Hannah to see when they’ll be home?”
There was no mistaking his tone. He wanted to fool around. And so did I. The warmth I’d been feeling from the partly sunny skies was turning into another kind of heat.
I kissed him back. “Are you sure?”
He grinned. “Isn’t that the best way to celebrate?”
It had been a while since we were both interested in fooling around. Way too long a while.
I got my phone out and texted the kids.
Jake wasn’t going to be home for another couple of hours, and Hannah had finished up with swim practice and was going out to grab a bite to eat with some of her teammates.
&n
bsp; “Lucky us,” I said to Eddie.
*
We fooled around, and it was loving and lustful and satisfying for both of us. This was the best way to celebrate.
Afterward, we were lying in bed, languid and tired, a good tired, when Eddie suddenly sat up, looking anxious. His eyes darted around the room.
“What’s the matter, honey?” I said. “Did Hannah just come home?” I hadn’t heard anything.
He took a second before answering, almost as if he was confused. “No—I just remembered something I forgot to do,” he said. “For the job.”
Then he got up, slipped his pants on, and exited the room.
His sudden change of mood was odd. I didn’t know what to make of it.
A couple minutes later, he came back, and I thought he would volunteer what he’d forgotten to do, but he didn’t.
And I didn’t ask.
Maybe I should have. Maybe I should’ve asked a lot more questions that night.
*
In the morning, I awoke refreshed. So refreshed that I thought I overslept. Especially when I noticed Eddie was already up and around. I was usually up before him, but the clock confirmed I’d gotten up at the usual time. It was Eddie who had changed his routine.
Then I remembered that Eddie’s tossing and turning had awakened me in the middle of the night. I’d gone right back to sleep, but maybe he’d just given up on getting a good night’s sleep and had gotten up early.
I found him, already showered and dressed, on the couch in the den, hunched over his laptop.
“You’re up early,” I said.
“ADM emailed me some files to look over, so I thought I’d get started.” His eyes were fixed on his computer screen.
“Do you want me to make you some breakfast?” He was in the habit of scrambling up three eggs for himself in the morning.
“No—I’m good for now.”
Seeing him engrossed in his work made me feel good. “I’m really happy for you,” I said. He looked fulfilled and confident.
“Thanks,” he responded. Then he looked up from the laptop. “Would you mind telling Jake and Hannah the good news? I’m on a run here and I’d like to keep going.”
“I’d love to be the bearer of good news,” I said, but it surprised me that he didn’t want to tell them himself.
“Great. I’ve got a lot of work to do.”
A lot of work to do? I thought. Which led to the obvious question: “Have you officially started?”
“Yeah. I have.”
He said it nonchalantly with just a quick glance up from his laptop.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” That had come out more confrontational than I’d planned, so I was relieved when it didn’t seem to faze him.
“Because I just found out. My first assignment came in last night.”
Well, that cleared up the mystery of why he’d suddenly left the bedroom last night, and why he’d gotten up bright and early, and also why he didn’t want to take the time to tell the kids the good news—he wanted to get a jump on the job.
But it prompted a couple of new questions: Why was he working in the den? Didn’t he have an office to go to, or was he going to be working remotely?
I’d ask him later, when he took a break.
*
I made breakfast for myself, and when Jake and Hannah came into the kitchen, I told them about their father’s new job.
“Good for Dad!” Hannah said, flashing an honest smile. “And the job sounds kind of cool.”
Jake had a different reaction. “What exactly does Dad know about investing?” he said.
“Good job of raining on Dad’s parade,” Hannah responded, smirking at her brother.
“Maybe I didn’t explain it well enough,” I said. “It’s more of a research job.”
“Investment firms hire mathematicians and economists to do their research, not reporters,” Jake said. He looked genuinely puzzled.
“Apparently you’re wrong.” Hannah was in full form.
That got Jake’s goat. “So now you’re the expert on financial institutions? Miss avoids-numbers-at-all-costs.”
“At least I’m not a—”
“Hey.” I interrupted before this mushroomed into a morning skirmish. “This is good news. Not something to fight over.”
Hannah glared at her brother, ready to take him on, but Jake backed off—probably because he didn’t want to upset me. If the two had been alone, he would’ve gladly knocked his sister down a peg. He believed that because she shied away from science and math, which were his forte, her opinions were de facto less informed.
“Well, I definitely want to hear the details from Dad,” he said.
“He’s working in the den if you want to ask him.”
“I’ll talk to him later. I have to get to school early. I’m giving a tour to incoming freshmen.”
“Make sure you let them know we offer English and History classes,” Hannah said.
“Hannah, please.” This time I was the one doing the glaring.
“Don’t worry,” Jake said. “I’ll let the underachievers know they have options.” After tossing that grenade, he exited.
“I’m really looking forward to next year, Mom,” Hannah said loudly so Jake could hear it. “When Jake is in college!”
Hannah’s retort wasn’t too vicious—at least not vicious enough to inspire return fire from Jake—and I was thankful for that. But it did remind me that Jake would be gone next year, and I wasn’t looking forward to that. I was going to miss him terribly.
After Jake and Hannah left for school, I was tempted to go into the den to ask Eddie if he’d be working remotely. Jake’s interest in the specifics of his father’s new job had kindled my curiosity even more.
But I didn’t want it to appear like I was interrogating Eddie, or like I wasn’t supportive of his job. I was supportive—very. So I didn’t venture back into the den.
Instead, I opened my laptop and did my own work, which consisted of two things. One, reading every scrap of information about treatment options, and two, getting the word out about my career change. In spite of my death sentence, I had decided to forge ahead, and was planning for my future in case I got a stay of execution. I had been sending out inquiries to all my productions contacts, asking them about training positions in the bookkeeping/accounting of whatever shows they were currently on.
As I was sending off another such email, an email from Lila popped into my inbox. I thought it might be a lead for a trainee position—I’d already talked to her about my plans—but it turned out to be something unexpected.
The Disney Family Channel was gearing up to shoot a TV pilot, and the production designer on the show was interviewing prop masters. Lila had recommended me for the position. After reading that email, I couldn’t help but believe that things were truly on the upswing in our household. Eddie had landed a good job, and out of nowhere, I had a shot at one. It wasn’t part of my master plan to switch careers, but it was still great news—if I could land the job.
Over the last few weeks, as I’d moving closer to finishing off this round of treatments, Lila had suggested that work would be good therapy before I started another round; that was one of the reasons I’d resumed my search for a trainee position.
But Eddie was against the whole proposition. He said that working would just weaken me more. Of course, I could understand why he’d think that, but just the thought of working had actually lifted my spirits and given me strength. And now that I’d ended the first course of treatments, the timing of this job looked pretty good. Lila’s email said it was a six-week gig, so it would end well before my next round of treatments.
And the timing was good when it came to Jake and Hannah, too. Jake was set for college, enjoying the end of his senior year, so for him it was smooth sailing from here on in. And Hannah had taken her SAT and ACT, and between school, the swim team, and her extracurricular activities, she was so busy that I hardly ever saw her. She took care of hersel
f and she didn’t have time to get into trouble.
And then there was Eddie. The more I thought about him in the den, how engrossed he was in his own work already, the more I realized how demanding his new job would be. Also, ADM wouldn’t have started him at that salary, considering his lack of experience, unless they were expecting a lot of him. He was going to be busy, and I’d find myself alone a lot. Wouldn’t it be better to spend that time working, rather than obsessing about a disease I could do nothing about?
This was a good time to go back to work. The job would make me feel better about myself, maybe even close to normal. I didn’t believe a positive mental attitude was a cure for cancer—that was crap—but I did believe the job would shift my focus away from an uncertain future, and that in itself was good medicine.
And who knows, maybe I could get to know someone in the accounting department. Then, if the pilot went to series, they might hire me as a bookkeeping trainee.
I emailed Lila back, thanking her for the lead, and immediately followed up with an email to Mimi Quincy, the production designer on the pilot.
Then I considered telling Eddie, but dismissed the idea. He didn’t want to be interrupted, and this interruption would be a long one, maybe even one that resulted in an argument. I decided to wait until he took a break to bring it up.
But by midmorning, after sending out more resumes for trainee positions, I had decided to wait until the weekend. And by lunchtime, when Eddie still hadn’t appeared from the den, I had come up with a better idea: I would wait and see if I actually got the job before bringing it up. Sure, it would be harder to explain then, but why bring it up at all if I ended up not getting the job? Why rock the boat now when Eddie had just delivered? He had come through, and it was time to enjoy that, not time to argue.
And maybe he would be so into his job by the time I got my job that he wouldn’t care. That was my hope, because I suddenly realized how excited I was about the possibility of getting back to work.
EDDIE
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
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