Would Caroline and Allie come out here again? If so, how often? Would they eventually bring Phoebe with them? If so, would Abe come along? No. Abe would never come. Well, not to pay a social visit. He would only come to demand Carl give him the stream, and those confrontations always ended badly.
This whole thing might not be so awkward if Eric or Travis were here. At least then, he wouldn’t feel so alienated from everyone else. It was bad enough in town where most people had stopped talking to him after Lydia’s murder. He could easily get away from them. He couldn’t, however, get away from anyone who came on his property to visit Juliet. If these women insisted on visiting her often, he didn’t know if he could handle it. This was his only sanctuary in the world. He had nowhere else to get peace, nor would he as long as he was stuck in this town.
The women’s voices got closer. He looked up from the gold pan he’d just dipped into the bin full of water. Everyone—the women and the children—were coming over to him.
“The snow is fun,” Lilly said. “You can play with it.”
Allie laughed. “Grown ups don’t play with snow. They usually shovel it out of their way.”
“My pa played with it,” she replied, a hint of sadness coming over her face. “He would make it into a ball and play fetch with the dog.”
Carl had no idea what the girls were told regarding Jerry’s death, but he wouldn’t have blamed Allie or Travis if they covered up the details. It was an ugly part of the past, and as far as Carl was concerned, it was better if they put it behind them and moved on.
Juliet went over to him, holding out a plate with one piece of brown sugar candy on it. “Would you like it?”
Forcing aside his unease as the others approached, he put the gold pan on the ground and rose to his feet. He almost didn’t take it. The candy would be better off with one of the children, but then, he thought it might be rude if he didn’t accept the offer. His mother had taught him that it was only right to graciously take a gift when it was offered. You wouldn’t want to hurt their feelings by saying no, she’d say.
He pulled the handkerchief out of his back pocket, wiped his hand, and accepted it. “Thank you.”
Juliet smiled. “You’re welcome.” Then, glancing between him and Caleb, she asked, “How is the panning going?”
“I didn’t find anything,” Caleb told her.
Carl swallowed the candy then shoved his handkerchief back into his pocket. “To be fair, we weren’t looking all that long. It takes a while to find anything.”
“Do you always find something?” Lilly asked.
“No. Not always. There are some days where there’s nothing in the pay dirt.”
Janice’s nose wrinkled. “Pay dirt?”
“That’s what I call this.” Carl picked up the gold pan and showed her the contents.
“That doesn’t look like it’d pay for anything,” Lilly said.
Amused, Carl found himself chuckling along with the women. “You have to search for the gold, and often, you’ll only find small flakes of it.”
“Are they like snowflakes?” Lilly asked.
“Well, yes,” Carl replied. “I suppose you could say that.”
“Except it’s yellow instead of white,” Caleb added.
“Can you imagine how different things would look if it snowed gold?” Caroline asked the children.
“It would look like a dog peed on everything,” Lilly said.
“That’s gross,” Janice replied, looking appropriately disgusted by the idea.
“Well, it’s true,” Lilly said. “You should be glad snow is white. Otherwise, you couldn’t tell where our dog has been in the yard.”
Caroline grimaced. “I’m sorry I asked the question.”
“You can’t be too careful what you ask,” Allie mused.
“Caleb never talks like that,” Caroline said. “That’s why I didn’t expect the answer.”
“Caleb doesn’t have a dog,” Lilly replied. “If he had a dog, he would have said it.”
“I don’t think so,” Caleb argued.
“Yes, you would,” Lilly said.
Caleb shook his head, but Allie patted the girl on the shoulder. “It doesn’t matter,” Allie intervened. “The snow is white, and gold is yellow. So everything is as it should be.”
“Right,” Caroline agreed. “Well, thank you both for a lovely time,” she told Juliet and Carl. “You don’t need to be strangers. Any time you’re in town, feel free to come visit.”
“You’re also welcome to come to my home any time you wish,” Allie added.
“Thank you for coming,” Juliet said.
Carl didn’t know if Juliet expected him to join in and say the same thing, but he supposed it didn’t matter since the women were already leading the children to the wagon.
Carl watched as Juliet followed. It was nice that they hadn’t ignored him completely. For that, he was thankful. But he was looking forward to it being just him and Juliet again.
He knelt back down and dipped the gold pan into the water before swirling the pan to get rid of the pay dirt he didn’t need. He had just removed a handful of small rocks when Juliet came back into the barn.
“I’ll be back out in a few minutes to help you,” she told him.
Before waiting for a response, she hurried back to the cabin. His heart feeling lighter at the promise, he turned his attention back to the pan.
***
During the last week in September, Juliet notified him that she had her monthly flow. The news wasn’t what he’d wanted to hear. He had hoped their wedding night would be all it’d take to get her with child. But his attempts hadn’t worked with Lydia, so he supposed he shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up. Maybe Lydia was right. Maybe something was wrong with him. Maybe he wasn’t able to have children.
But since he wanted to keep the stream, he’d have to give it another try. Fortunately, with Juliet going through that time of month, he was off the hook for the next week from having to make another attempt.
He supposed it shouldn’t be as difficult with her as it’d been with Lydia since she, at least, hadn’t made any comments regarding his poor performance. But in some ways, it was harder because she hadn’t mentioned it. Was it possible that not knowing how disappointed she’d been was worse than actually knowing?
Spending as much time as possible panning for gold was the best way to occupy his time so he didn’t have to dwell on it. Because of that, he renewed his efforts to find more gold. However, it wasn’t too long before he couldn’t put off going to town any longer. He and Juliet were running low on supplies, and it was getting too chilly to keep on panning anyway.
So in the second week of October, he got out his jar from under the table in the barn and inspected the gold in it. They definitely had enough to get them through the winter. It might even be possible that they had a little extra. This thought alone brought him a strange sense of excitement. It wasn’t much, but it was more than he’d ever had in previous years.
“When it starts getting cold, you can really feel it,” Juliet said as she came into the barn.
He looked over at her. He blinked. In addition to the bonnet covering her blonde wig, her long coat covered most of her dress. She appeared so different from the woman who wore long black braids and pants. He almost didn’t recognize her. There was no denying her disguise worked surprisingly well.
She rubbed her hands together as she approached him. “I can see why you say we won’t be able to search for more gold until spring.”
“I’m just glad it hasn’t snowed yet,” he replied and slipped the jar into his leather sack. “Snow can make things more difficult. Fortunately, today is a good day to travel.”
He led her to the wagon, placed the sack on the floor, and turned to her. Since he was the man, it was his duty to help her in, even though he wasn’t looking forward to touching her. The few times he had touched her in the past hadn’t been all that awful, really. But every time he had, it seemed
to connect them in ways words didn’t. And the more he got to know her, the more this knowledge terrified him.
“I can get myself in if you want,” she told him. “No one is around to see if I end up showing my bloomers while I get in. Of course, I’ll need your help in town. I’m afraid there’s no getting around that.”
He glanced away from her, not sure if he liked the way she could read his mind. Forcing aside his unease, he turned his gaze back to her and held out his hand.
“Don’t be silly,” he said, striving for the bravado he didn’t feel. “I’m only helping you into the wagon, not rescuing you from a fire-breathing dragon.” Then, hoping she’d believe he wasn’t as inept as he felt, he laughed.
He couldn’t be sure what she thought of his pitiful display of courage, but she smiled and accepted his hand. A spark shot straight from his hand and up his arm. That had never happened before. In his shock, he almost let go of her. The only thing forcing him to remain still was the fact that she would fall and hurt herself if he didn’t keep holding her hand. As soon as it was safe, he finally released her hand, grateful he’d managed through the ordeal without embarrassing himself.
At least, he hoped he hadn’t embarrassed himself. Who knew what she thought? He wasn’t going to ask, and he hoped she wouldn’t tell him. He hurried to his side of the wagon and got in. The sooner they forgot about it, the better.
“I’ve never heard of a fire-breathing dragon,” she said as he released the brake. “What is it?”
He picked up the reins and urged the horses forward. “A dragon is a like a giant lizard with a long neck and wings.”
Her eyebrows furrowed. “And it breathes fire?”
Noting her concern, he quickly assured her. “It’s not real. You’ll only read about it in stories.”
At this, she seemed relieved. “From the way you mentioned it, it sounds scary.”
“Yes. In the stories I heard, dragons often go around kidnapping beautiful young women or trying to burn kingdoms down. It often takes a knight to defeat them.”
“Oh. Well, in that case, it sounds like a fun story.”
“Only if the knight wins.”
“You mean the knight doesn’t always win?”
“Most of the time, he does, but no, not always.”
She frowned in disappointment.
“Not every story has a happy ending,” he said.
“I know, but I like the ones that do,” she replied. “They make me feel good inside, and I like feeling good.”
“I think everyone does, but not every story can end happily because sometimes life doesn’t end that way.”
“But we’re talking about something that isn’t real. If it isn’t real, then why make it sad?”
He didn’t have an answer for her, and quite frankly, he was surprised it bothered her so much. His mother had taken comfort in the sad endings, often saying that they were good reminders that life didn’t always go according to plan. God knew her life had been a testimony to that.
“Well,” Juliet continued as she tucked her hands into the pockets of her coat, “I still prefer a happy ending. Otherwise, there would be no hope, and without hope, what’s the point of going on?”
He guided the horses around a bend in the path as he thought over her words. He couldn’t prove it, of course, but he suspected she spoke more of her own situation than of tales about dragons.
“There can be some good in life,” he said. “A new start is a good thing, and we’ll get that when we find the gold we need to leave this place.”
He probably shouldn’t have worded it the way he did. After all, there might not be the amount of gold they needed to reach their goal. They might be trapped here for the rest of their lives. But he felt compelled to offer her the glimmer of hope she seemed desperate to hold onto.
“With your help, I was able to get more gold than I ever did before,” he added. “That’s saying something. If we keep working together as a team, then we’re bound to find a lot more next year.”
Finally, she seemed to perk up a bit. “You’re right. We are a team, and that being the case, it will increase our odds that things will go our way.”
Was she assuming they were going to stay together if they found the gold they needed? He began to ask her if that was what she wanted, but then, he decided against it. He was probably imagining it. She probably didn’t mean that at all. They were a team. That was true. But this was a temporary arrangement. He’d made that clear on the day they got married, and it was probably best if he stuck with it…even if the thought was starting to bother him.
Chapter Ten
Upon her second view of the town, Juliet decided it was even smaller than she’d originally thought. Certainly, this meant that it’d be easy for people to remember her. At the time she planned her escape from Texas, she had taken comfort in knowing it required a stagecoach to get here. A remote town that barely made the map seemed like her best chance.
Except now, as she scanned a few familiar faces, it occurred to her that people would know who she was. There was no such thing as blending in with the crowd. She stood out much too easily, and that could very well work against her if she wasn’t careful.
She pulled the sides of her bonnet so they better covered her profile from the onlookers. She was wearing the wig. That had to work in her favor. Maybe if she kept to herself while she shopped, she’d been less memorable. It was just like her oldest brother, Sammy, used to tell their younger brother, Micah, If you draw attention to yourself, you’re done.
She would not draw attention to herself. All she had to do was keep her head low and her mouth shut.
Carl pulled the wagon up to the general store and set the brake then picked up the leather sack. “I need to take the gold to Jefferson.” He gestured to the small building tucked between the bank and the doctor’s office. “He takes the gold and gives me money I can use to buy things around here. Would you like to go into the general store while I do that, or would you like to go in with me to see Jefferson?”
“I’d like to go in with you,” she replied, thinking it worked to her benefit if she stayed with him. Maybe then, the women in there wouldn’t be inclined to talk to her. “Do you mind?”
He swung the strap of the leather sack over his shoulder. “I wouldn’t have asked if I minded you coming in with me.” He hopped down and went to her side of the wagon.
She scanned the people loitering along the business strip that served as the main activity in town, and fortunately, no one seemed to be all that interested in them. She accepted Carl’s hand and let him help her down. Though she caught the flicker of unease on his face, his grip was firm. It was progress from how he’d held her hand on the day they married, and she considered that a good thing. He was slowly opening up to her. Maybe, just maybe, she could undo whatever damage his first wife had done to him.
Together, they walked into the small building, and she let Carl lead the way to the counter since he knew the middle-aged man and she didn’t.
The man glanced up from the book he was reading. “Is it that time of year already?” he asked.
“Since it’s October, yes,” Carl replied. “Juliet, this is Jefferson. Jefferson, this is my wife, Juliet.”
Jefferson smiled. “Nice to meet you, ma’am. I’m sure by now you’ve gotten used to Carl’s obsession with gold.”
Though Carl sighed, he didn’t say anything. He just opened the sack and pulled out the jar.
“I’ll give you one thing, Carl,” Jefferson said. “You’re no quitter.”
She studied Jefferson. Was he being nice, or was there a condescending undertone in his voice? It was hard to tell just by looking at him since he seemed pleasant enough.
“Here it is,” Carl said, placing the jar in front of him.
“It’s not enough to make you rich,” Jefferson replied.
“I’m well aware of that,” Carl told him.
“Good. I don’t want you to be disappointed. I know how
much this means to you.” Jefferson picked up the jar and inspected the contents. “You did better than last year. Maybe your luck is changing.”
“It’ll change when I can get out of this awful place.”
“You can’t let the busybodies in town get to you. Why, just the other day, Travis Martin came into town, and he looked everyone directly in the eye. He’s not letting others bother him anymore, and you shouldn’t, either.”
“Yeah, well, his wife didn’t make him the laughingstock of the town.” Carl quickly glanced Juliet’s way and added, “Lydia.” He turned his gaze back to Jefferson. “I meant Lydia.”
“I’m sure she knew you didn’t mean her,” Jefferson said. “She hasn’t been here long enough to give you grief.” He laughed and winked at her. “I joke, of course. I heard good things about you.”
Juliet frowned. Who had told him about her? She’d never heard of him until today. Neither Caroline, Allie, nor the preacher had talked about him.
“Was Ida running her mouth again?” Carl asked.
“Nope. This has nothing to do with Ida.” Jefferson opened the lid of the jar and poured the gold flakes and nuggets in a can. “It was the preacher. Every time he marries someone in town, I get to hear all about it during one of his sermons. Considering all the marriages that have happened this year, it’s all he seems to talk about. There was the sheriff’s marriage to the wrong bride. Then there was that bride you matched up to marry your brother even though Abe didn’t want-”
“That’s enough,” Carl interrupted. “I get your point. Can you just give me the money the gold is worth?”
Noting the sharp tone in Carl’s voice, Juliet turned her attention from Jefferson to him. Caroline had mentioned the bitterness between Carl and Abe, but she hadn’t seen it for herself until now. But who could blame him? She wouldn’t be all that happy if her father had had a child with a mistress, either.
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