“Graham,” I called after him, wondering what it was he was doing until I glanced over at the shed where a large tree was leaning, waiting to be planted.
Ollie’s tree.
He didn’t turn back to look toward me. I wasn’t even certain he heard my voice. He just kept shoveling into the ground, digging a hole that would hold the tree. It was heartbreaking watching him soaking wet, digging deeper and deeper. I walked over to him, still holding my umbrella, and lightly tapped him on his shoulders.
He turned to me, surprised to see me standing there, and that was when I saw his eyes.
The truth lies in his eyes, Ollie had told me.
That night I saw it, and I saw that Graham was breaking. His heart was breaking minute by minute, second by second, so I did the only thing I could think to do.
I placed the umbrella on the ground, picked up another shovel, and started to dig right there beside him.
No words were exchanged—none were needed. Each time we tossed the earth’s soil to the side, we took a breath in honor of Ollie’s life. Once the hole was large enough, I helped him carry the tree over, and we placed it down, covering the base back up with mud.
Graham lowered himself down to the ground, sitting in the mess of nature while the rain continued to hammer down on us. I sat down beside him. He bent his knees and rested his hands on top of them with his fingers laced. I sat with my legs crossed and my hands in my lap.
“Lucille?” he whispered.
“Yes?”
“Thank you.”
“Always.”
“Lucille?” I called from my office late one afternoon. Over the past few weeks, I’d forced myself to sit at my desk and write. I knew that was what Professor Oliver would’ve wanted me to do. He would’ve wanted me to not give up.
“Yes?” she questioned, stepping into the room.
My heart skipped. She looked exhausted—no makeup, messy hair, and absolutely everything I’d ever wanted.
“I, um, I have to send a few chapters to my editor, and normally, Professor Oliver would read them, but…” I grimaced. “Do you think you could read them for me?”
Her eyes widened and her smile stretched wide. “Are you kidding? Of course. Let me see.”
I handed her the papers, and she sat down across from me. She crossed her legs and began to read, taking in all my words. As her eyes stayed glued to the paper, my stare was stuck on her. Some nights I wondered what would’ve happened without her. I wondered how I would’ve survived without the hippie weirdo in my life.
I wondered how I’d gone so long without telling her she was one of my favorite people in the whole wide world.
Lucy Palmer had saved me from the darkness, and I’d never be able to thank her enough.
After some time, her eyes watered over and she bit her bottom lip. “Wow,” she whispered to herself as she kept flipping the pages. She was deeply focused as she read my words, taking her time. “Wow,” she muttered again. When she finished, she placed all of the pages in her lap and shook her head slightly before looking at me, and then she said, “Wow.”
“You hate it?” I asked, crossing my arms.
“It’s perfect. It’s absolutely perfect.”
“Would you change anything?”
“Not a single word. Ollie would be proud.”
A small sigh left my lips. “Okay. Thank you.” She stood up and started walking toward the door, and I called after her once. “Do you think you’d want to be my plus one for Karla and Susie’s wedding?”
A gentle smile landed on her lips and she shrugged her left shoulder. “I’ve been waiting for you to ask me.”
“I wasn’t certain you’d want to come. I mean…it seems weird to take a friend to a wedding.”
Her voice lowered and her chocolate eyes showed a touch of sadness as she stared my way. “Oh, Graham Cracker,” she said softly. Her voice was so low that for a moment, I wondered if I imagined the words. “What I wouldn’t give to be more than your friend.”
The day of the wedding, I waited in the living room as Lucy finished getting ready in her bedroom. My chest was tight waiting to see her, and when she appeared, it was better than I could’ve ever imagined. She came out like a spark of perfection. She wore a floor-length baby blue gown and had baby’s breath twisted into her hair.
Her lips were painted pink, and her beauty was louder than ever.
Each second I saw her, I fell a little more.
Plus, she held Talon in her arms, and the way my daughter, my heart, snuggled into this woman made me fall even more.
We weren’t supposed to feel this way.
We weren’t supposed to fall for one another, she and I.
Yet it seemed gravity had a way of pulling us closer.
“You look beautiful,” I told her, standing up from the couch and smoothing out my suit.
“You don’t look half bad yourself.” She smiled as she walked over to me.
“Dada,” Talon said, babbling and reaching out to me. Every time she spoke, my heart grew in size. “Dadadada.”
I’d never known love could be so real.
I took her into my arms and kissed her forehead as she kissed mine back. Lucy stepped forward, straightening out my bow tie, which she had picked out. She’d picked out my whole outfit. She was convinced my closet contained too much black, so she had forced me out of my comfort zone with a light gray suit and a baby blue polka dot bow tie.
We drove to Lucy’s employee, Chrissy’s, house before heading to the ceremony. Chrissy had said she’d take care of Talon for the evening, and a part of me worried. Talon had never spent time with anyone other than Lucy or me, but Lucy told me she trusted Chrissy, and in turn, I trusted Lucy.
“If you need anything, you have our numbers,” I told Chrissy as I handed her Talon, who seemed timid at first.
“Ah, don’t you worry, we’re going to have a great time. All you two have to worry about is having a great time tonight. Embrace each moment.”
I gave her a tight smile before leaning in to kiss Talon’s forehead one last time.
“Oh, and, Graham? I’m sorry about your father. Professor Oliver seemed like a great man,” Chrissy told me.
I thanked her as Lucy took my hand and squeezed it lightly.
As we walked to the car, I turned her way. “You told her he was my father?” I asked.
“Of course. He was your father, and you were his son.”
I swallowed hard and opened her car door to help her in. As she climbed inside, I waited a second before shutting the door. “Lucille?”
“Yes?”
“You make the world a lot less dark.”
We arrived at the ceremony about ten minutes before it was going to begin and sat in a middle row on the edge of the aisle. The space was surrounded by beautiful flowers, which Lucy herself had arranged for the event and set up earlier that morning. She was the best at making every moment beautiful.
When it was time, everyone in attendance stood up as Susie walked down the aisle first with her arm looped through her father’s. She was smiling wide and looked breathtaking in her white gown. Once she made it to the front, her father kissed her cheek and took his seat. Then, the music shifted and it was Karla’s turn. She looked like an angel, holding her beautiful bouquet of pink and white roses. Her dress flowed effortlessly, but her steps seemed to be a struggle. With each one she took, I could tell what was weighing on her heart—she was missing her father, the man who was supposed to be walking her down the aisle on the happiest day of her life.
Halfway down the aisle, her steps stopped, she covered her mouth with her hand, and she began sobbing, the overwhelming pain of the situation swallowing her whole.
Within seconds, I was there. My arm wrapped around hers, I leaned in closer to her, and I whispered, “I have you, Karla. You’re not alone.”
She turned to me, her eyes filled with broken pieces of her soul, and she wrapped her arms around me. She took a few seconds to fall apa
rt, and I held her each second that passed. When she was strong enough, I kept her arm linked with mine and walked her down the aisle.
The officiant smiled wide when we reached the end of the aisle. Susie’s eyes locked with mine for a moment and she silently thanked me. I simply nodded once.
“Who gives this beautiful bride away?” the officiant asked.
I stood tall, staring straight at Karla. “I do.” I wiped a few of her tears away and smiled. “With every ounce of my being, I do.”
Karla turned and hugged me so tight, and I held her close to me as she softly spoke. “Thank you, brother.”
“Forever, sister.”
I walked back to my seat and sat beside Lucy, who had tears streaming down her face. She turned to me and gave me the greatest smile I’d ever seen. Her lips parted and she whispered, “I am in love with you,” and then she turned to face the ceremony.
Within seconds, my heart filled with more love than I had thought possible.
Because that was the thing about hearts—when you thought they were completely full, you somehow found room to add a little more love.
Loving Lucy Hope Palmer wasn’t a choice; it was my destiny.
The rest of the ceremony ran smoothly. The evening was filled with love, laughter, and light—and dancing. So much dancing.
When a slow song came on, Mary walked over to me and held her hand out, asking me for a dance. I stood up and walked her to the dance floor. As she placed her hand on my shoulder, we started to sway.
“What you did for Karla…I’ll never be able to thank you enough for that,” Mary said, a tear rolling down her cheek.
I leaned in and kissed her tear away before it could hit the floor. “Anything you ladies need, I am here for you. Always, Mary. Always.”
She smiled and nodded. “I always wanted a son.”
“I always wanted a mom.”
We danced, and she laid her head against my shoulder, allowing me to guide our moves. “The way you look at her,” she said, speaking of Lucy. “The way she looks at you…”
“I know.”
“Let her in, my dear. She makes you feel the way Ollie made me feel—whole—and a love like that isn’t something one should ever pass up. There might be a million reasons why you think it couldn’t work, but all you need is one reason why it could. That reason is love.”
I knew she was right about Lucy and love.
If love were a person, it would be her.
When our dance finished, Mary kissed my cheek and said, “Tell her. Tell her everything that scares you, everything that excites you, everything that moves you. Tell her all of it and let her in. I promise every moment will be worth it.”
I thanked her and took a breath as I turned around to see Lucy finishing up a dance with one of the older gentlemen in his seventies. I could hear Professor Oliver in my head, and I could feel him in my heart as it beat.
Be brave, Graham.
I met her at our table, and she sat down, beaming with happiness. It was as if happiness was the only mode she knew.
“Thank you for bringing me, Graham. This has been—”
I cut her off. There wasn’t a chance that I could wait one more minute. I couldn’t waste another second of time where my lips weren’t against hers. My mouth crashed into hers, making my mind swirl as I felt her lips on mine. I felt her entire being wrapping around my soul, soaking me in, changing me into a better man than I’d ever thought I could be. I’d died a million deaths before I gave living a chance, and my first breath of life was taken from her lips.
As I pulled away a bit, my hands stayed resting around her neck as my fingers slightly massaged her neck. “It’s you,” I whispered, our lips still slightly touching. “My greatest hope is, and always will be, you.”
And then, she kissed me back.
We didn’t know how to act with one another after our first kiss. Our situation wasn’t the norm when it came to building a relationship. We did everything backward. I fell in love with a boy before our first kiss, and he fell for a girl who he wasn’t allowed to have. Our connection, our heartbeats, matched one another in our fairytale world, but in reality, society deemed us as an awful accident.
Maybe we were an accident—a mistake.
Maybe we were never supposed to cross each other’s paths.
Maybe he was only meant to be a lesson in life and not a permanent mark.
But still, the way he kissed me…
Our kiss was as if heaven and hell collided together, and each choice was right and wrong at the same exact time. We kissed as if we were making a mistake and the best decision all at once. His lips made me float higher, yet somehow descend. His breaths somehow made my heart beat faster as it came to a complete halt.
Our love was everything good and bad wrapped in one kiss.
A part of me knew I should’ve regretted it, but the way his lips warmed up the cold shadows of my soul…the way he left his mark on me…
I’d never regret finding him, holding him, even if we only had those few seconds as one.
He’d always be worth those tiny seconds we shared.
He’d always be worth that soul-connecting feeling we created when our lips touched.
He’d always be the one I spent my nights dreaming of being near.
He’d always be worth it to me.
Sometimes when your heart wanted a full-length novel, the world only gave you a novella, and sometimes when you wanted forever you only had those few seconds of now.
And all I could do, all anyone could ever do, was make each moment count.
After we went home that night, we didn’t talk about it at all. Not the following week, either. I focused on Talon. Graham worked on his novel. I believed both of us were waiting for the right time to come up for us to speak about it, but that was the tricky thing about timing: it was never right.
Sometimes you just had to leap and hope you didn’t fall.
Luckily, on a warm Saturday afternoon, Graham jumped.
“It was good, right?” he asked, surprising me as I was changing Talon’s diaper in the nursery.
I turned slightly to see him standing in the doorway, looking my way. “What was good?” I asked, finishing up fastening the diaper.
“The kiss. Did you think it was good?”
My chest tightened as I lifted Talon into my arms. I cleared my throat. “Yeah, it was good. It was amazing.”
He nodded, walking in closer. Each step he took made my heart ache with anticipation. “What else? What else did you think?”
“Truth?” I whispered.
“Truth.”
“I thought I’d been in love before. I thought I knew what love was. I thought I understood its curves, its angles, its shape. But then, I kissed you.”
“And?”
I swallowed hard. “And I realized you were the first and only thing that ever made my heartbeats come to life.”
He studied me, uncertain. “But?” he asked, moving in closer. He slid his hands into his pockets and bit his bottom lip before speaking again. “I know there’s a ‘but’. I see it in your eyes.”
“But…she’s my sister.”
He grimaced knowingly. “Jane.”
I nodded. “Lyric.”
“So, you think never? You and I?” The hurt in his eyes from his question broke my heart.
“I think society would have a lot to say about it. That’s my biggest worry.”
He was even closer than before, close enough to kiss me again. “And since when do we care what society thinks, my hippie weirdo?”
I blushed, and he moved my hair behind my ear.
“It’s not going to be easy. It might be very hard, and weird, and out of the norm, but I promise you, if you give me a chance, if you give us a few moments, I’ll make it worth all of your time. Say okay?”
I lived in the moment, and my lips parted. “Okay.”
“I want to take you out on a date. Tomorrow. I want you to wear your favorite out
fit and allow me to take you out.”
I laughed. “Are you sure? My favorite outfit involves stripes, polka dots, and a million colors.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything else.” He smiled.
God. That smile. That smile did things to me. I placed Talon on the floor so she could crawl around as Graham kept speaking.
“And, Lucille?”
“Yes?”
“There’s poop on your cheek.”
My eyes widened in horror as I moved to a mirror and grabbed a baby wipe to clean my face. I looked at Graham who was snickering to himself, and my cheeks didn’t stop turning red. I crossed my arms and narrowed my stare. “Did you just ask me on a date even though there was poop on my face?”
He nodded without hesitation. “Of course. It’s just a little poop. That wouldn’t change the fact that I’m in love with you and want to take you out on a date.”
“What? Wait. What? Say that again…” My heart was racing, my mind spinning.
“I want to take you out a date?”
“No. Before that.”
“That it’s just a little poop?”
I waved my hands. “No, no. The part after that. The part about—”
“Me loving you?”
There it was again. The racing heart and the spinning mind. “You’re in love with me?”
“With every piece of my soul.”
Before I could reply, before any words left my mouth, a little girl walked past me. My eyes widened at the same exact moment Graham’s did as he stared at his daughter.
“Did she…?” he asked.
“I think…” I replied.
Graham scooped Talon into his arms, and I swore his excitement lit up the whole house. “She just took her first steps!” he exclaimed, swirling Talon in his arms as she giggled at the kisses he was giving to her cheeks. “You just took your first steps!”
We both began jumping up and down, cheering Talon on, who just kept giggling and clapping her hands together. We spent the rest of the evening on the floor, trying to get Talon to take more steps. Every time she did, we cheered as if she were an Olympic Gold Medalist. In our eyes, she was exactly that.
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