“You don’t have to be sorry,” he said. “Call any time.”
After saying brief goodbyes, Ella knew she should go to bed, but with rain still hammering the roof and lightning strobing eerie shadows onto her moss-colored bedroom walls, sleep wouldn’t come.
The only things that did come were memories of how awkward things had been between her and Jackson both tonight and that morning. He’d sounded stiff, as if he couldn’t say what he’d wanted because Julie had been in the room. But if he truly meant what he’d said about irrevocably ending things with his ex, it shouldn’t have mattered if she hovered. He was a grown man, able to say and feel whatever he wanted. Unless, maybe Dillon had also been present? In which case, she understood why Jackson would have had to be careful.
Whereas Ella had been fully confident of her decision to embark on a relationship with him, now she wasn’t so sure. What if he was having doubts? What if, in nursing Julie through even a simple cold, he realized he still loved her? What if Dillon had gotten through to him, convincing him that getting their family back together was the right thing to do?
Running her fingers into the hair at her temples, Ella groaned. The worst question of all was the one that had nagged her from the start. What if in getting together with Jackson, she was responsible for breaking Dillon’s heart?
“WHAT DID ELLA WANT?” Julie asked when Jackson hung up the phone.
“Nothing much,” Jackson said, not wanting to get into his newfound feelings for Ella with Dillon in the room. They were playing Monopoly at the kitchen table, munching popcorn, laughing: in general, having a surprisingly good time. But then Ella had called, in a sense bringing the outside world in.
“Tell me.” Julie shifted in her chair to face him where he stood at the wall-mounted phone.
“It’s your turn, Dad.”
“Just a sec, bud.” To Julie, he said, “She told me about a possible lead in finding Rose’s mother.”
“That’s great,” she straightened her play money. “Unless you were wanting to put your hat in the ring for adopting the baby?”
He remained silent.
“Were you?”
“I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t at least thought about it.” He stuck his hands in his pockets.
“I think we should adopt Rose, Dad. I always wanted a baby sister.”
“It’s not that simple.” Jackson rejoined Julie and Dillon at the table. “Even if we wanted to adopt her, there’s a lot of red tape.” He and Ella would no doubt spend days in front of an attorney.
“You forget,” Julie said, sipping from a can of Sprite, “you happen to be related to someone intimately acquainted with all manner of red tape and how to blast through it.” She winked. Then she sighed wistfully. “Holding that sweet baby in my arms made me realize how much I’ve been yearning for another child. Rose will be very happy here with us.”
Gulping, Jackson realized the error in his thinking. Classic Julie. She hadn’t been offering to help him and Ella, but herself. Her utter lack of humility was a quality he’d alternately loved and hated. If she set her mind to it, she could pull off damn near anything—except resuscitating their marriage.
“JULIE, HI.” It was Saturday morning, and Ella had wanted to dodge down the cereal aisle to avoid Jackson’s ex, but she hadn’t been quick enough. Rose was in her carrier, kicking air, and the twins were up front with six quarters, riding the bucking-elephant concession at the front of the store. “Feeling better?”
“Much, thank you. Last night, Jackson’s mom made me her homemade chicken soup. It’s a miracle cure.”
“Mmm…I’ll bet.” Ella gripped the shopping cart’s handle so tightly, her knuckles shone white.
“I’d forgotten how cute she is,” Julie said, tickling Rose’s tummy. “Jackson said there’s been a lead in finding her mom.”
“Maybe. Nothing definite, but at least Hank now has a clue.”
“Mom?” Dillon raced around an end cap piled high with canned green beans and corn. He carried a box of taco shells.
“Oh, hey, Ms. Garvey. Hi, Rose.” He kissed the baby’s cheek.
“Hey, Dillon.” Had it really been only a few weeks since the boy used to greet Ella with a hug?
Attention back to his mother, Dillon said, “Dad wants me to ask you what brand of salsa you want him to buy.”
“Tell him the locally made one with the green donkey on the label.”
“Okay. Thanks.” Dillon tossed the taco shells in Julie’s cart, then raced off in search of his dad.
“Having Mexican night?” Ella forced herself to ask, adjusting Rose’s crooked ruffled collar.
“It’s Jackson’s father’s birthday. We’re hosting a family party, and Mexican food’s his favorite. He also likes burgers on the grill, though, so we’re having those, too.”
“That’s nice,” Ella said, feeling like a schmuck for not having known. But then how could she? Until recently, she’d only known Jackson through Dillon. And lately, Dillon had avoided her like math homework. “I, um, hope you all have fun.”
The two said their goodbyes, then Ella was off to the baby aisle for formula and diapers, pretending it didn’t matter that her almost-fiancé was party shopping with his ex who wanted to be his future.
She zinged her cart around a corner only to face Jackson, standing in front of baby toys.
“Busted,” he said with the grin that’d first made her love him. In his hands were Julie’s salsa and a duck rattle. “Would you like this, gorgeous?” For Rose, he gave the rattle a shake.
“Oh, now I know that was a smile,” he said when Rose’s eyes lit with curiosity and the corners of her mouth turned up.
“It does look like one,” Ella murmured, itching to shake some sense into him. What kind of game was he playing? A major condition to her agreeing to explore a relationship with him was the fact that he’d promised to officially break things off with Julie. As it stood, she was starting to feel like a floozy “other” woman.
“Sorry I had to cut it short on the phone last night. After dinner, Julie and Dillon wanted to play Monopoly, and we were right in the middle of our game.”
“I understand,” she said, lying through her teeth.
“Sounds fun.”
“It was. If only for the hour we were at the kitchen table, it felt like old times.”
“I’m glad for you.” Gaze downcast, she rearranged a few boxes at the bottom of her cart.
“Oh, Ell,” he said, glancing over his shoulder before drawing her into a hug. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to come out sounding bad. Just because Julie and I managed to sit through a game without fighting doesn’t change the way I feel about you.”
“I—I know,” she said.
“Do you?” Fingers under her chin, he forced her to meet his eyes. “I love you, Ell. Nothing’s going to change that.” His tender kiss proved the meaning behind his words.
“Dad!” Dillon charged around the corner with Ella’s twins hot on his heels. “Can Owen and Oliver and Rose come to Grandpa’s part—” All three boys fixed Ella and Jackson with cold, hard stares. “I hate you!” Dillon cried. “Both of you!”
Chapter Fourteen
“I knew this would happen,” Ella said to Jackson, her boys chasing after their friend who’d run for the front of the store. “Now, what are we going to do?”
Two white-haired retirees glared at the running boys, shaking their heads in disapproval.
“We are going to do nothing,” he said, heading after his son.
“But Jackson,” she tried reasoning, grabbing hold of his arm, “this concerns us both.”
“Not really,” he said. “I’m the one who didn’t tell Julie of our change in plans. I need to fix this.”
“But—”
Fingers to her lips, he said, “Go on with your day as if nothing happened. I’ll call you when everything’s settled.”
Ella wasn’t planning on holding her breath.
JACKSON FOUND H
IS SON holed up in an abandoned shopping cart in the floral section of the store. He sat hunched over with his arms around his knees.
Owen and Oliver stood nearby, looking as though they weren’t sure what to do.
Jackson suggested, “How about you two go find your mom?”
“You’re not our dad,” Oliver said, making a face.
“You’re right,” Jackson said, “but seeing how long I’ve known you, Oliver Garvey, I’m pretty darned close, so how about knocking off the sass?”
“Why were you kissing my mom?”
“Yeah,” Owen piped in. “She’s my mom, too.”
Sighing, rubbing his jaw, Jackson said, “Your mom is a wonderful woman. I like her a lot.”
“We like her more,” Owen said. “And I thought you were getting married to Dillon’s mom. Even I know that means you kissing my mom is cheating.”
Counting to ten in his head, Jackson realized the time had come for him and Ella to sit down together with their broods and tell them how it was. Somewhere along the line, all of the boys had gotten the idea into their thick little heads that where their parents were concerned, they called the shots.
“Owen, Oliver,” Jackson said in his strongest I-mean-business tone, “we’re going to talk lots more about this later. But now, find your mother.”
When both boys stood staring, Jackson added, “Go.”
After a last slit-eyed glare, the twins scampered off.
“Now to deal with you,” Jackson said under his breath.
“Go away,” his son said with the vehemence of a striking rattler. “I hate you!”
“That’s enough with the hate.” Jackson plucked his kid from the cart.
“There you are,” Julie said, rounding the corner with enough groceries to last a month. “What’s wrong with the Garvey twins? They looked upset. Come to think of it, so did Ella.”
“I’m sure they’re fine,” Jackson said between gritted teeth.
“Let’s pay for this stuff and go.”
“Dad’s lying,” Dillon said, stabbing him with a defiant stare. “Owen and Oliver are mad ’cause we caught their mom kissing Dad.”
A myriad of emotions crossed Julie’s face. Betrayal. Hurt. Anger. “Jackson? Is that true?”
He nodded. “Can we please get out of here? I’d like to discuss this in private.”
“Of course,” she said, having instantly regained her usual cool demeanor.
IN THE KITCHEN, groceries put away and their son safely out of earshot upstairs in his room, Jackson perched on a counter bar stool. “I haven’t been entirely straight with you. And for that, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she said with a faint smile. “Guess after what I did to you and Dillon, I’ve got whatever you can dish out coming.”
“This isn’t about revenge, Jules. You know that’s not my style.”
She nodded.
“I’m in love with Ella.”
“You love her?” She was struck by a sudden coughing fit. “Jackson, you hardly know the woman.”
“That’s not true,” he said, staring into the sun-dappled backyard. “She’s been a second mom to Dillon for years.”
“That’s to our son—not you.” She went to him, easing her arms around his neck. “Look, I get the whole fact that it’s been two long years since you’ve been with a woman. You’re a man and men have—” she blushed “—needs. Honey, think about it. Are you confusing those physical cravings for real, heartfelt emotion? The kind it takes years to forge?” Cupping his cheek, she admitted, “I like Ella. She’s always been amazing with our son. I’ll be the first to admit that the two of you are probably well suited, but that doesn’t mean you should run off and elope. Look at what one kiss has done to our son. Above anyone on the planet, he adores you, Jackson, yet now he won’t even look you in the eyes, let alone speak to you. Are you honestly willing to give up your very own son for a fling?”
Tensing beneath her touch, he said, “What I feel for Ella is more than a random fling.”
“Of course it is. I’m not trying to discount your emotions. All I’m saying is don’t jump into anything with so much at stake. I’ll be the first to admit that after what I pulled in leaving, I don’t deserve you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still love you. That I don’t still have a stake in our son’s life. Above all, I want Dillon to be happy, and if that means you and I getting back together, Jackson, you have to agree we owe it to him to try.”
“Sure,” he said, using the heels of his hands to rub stinging eyes. What had led him to this place? How did he know if he truly did love Ella heart and soul, or if as Julie had suggested, his attraction for her was purely physical?
“If you’d like, why don’t you invite Ella, Rose and the twins to your father’s party tonight. See how she fits in with your family.”
“That’s no good,” he said. “Dillon would pitch a fit.”
“You let me handle Dillon,” she said, patting Jackson’s knee. “You just call Ella and let her know I bear no ill will toward her, and that she’s welcome in our home.”
“Julie…” Rubbing his jaw, he looked to the ceiling and sighed. “I love Ella. This fantasy you have of us getting back together is just that. A fantasy. I’m sorry, but I just don’t feel—”
“Shh…” Julie’s smile struck him as inappropriately bright.
“You call Ella. I’ll handle the rest.”
“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR ever-loving mind?” Ella asked Jackson, hands on her hips. It was a gorgeous day, bright and sunny and she’d been on her knees in the front yard, weeding the flowerbed that wrapped around the porch. The gentle hum of insects and the neighbor’s swishing sprinkler made it sound more like a lazy summer afternoon than spring. As idyllic as the yard looked, she couldn’t have looked worse, wearing battered denim overalls and a paint-stained white T-shirt. “Why in the world would I want to come to a family dinner hosted by your ex-wife?”
“Because I asked?” he said, casting her a sweet smile.
“Nice try, Romeo, but I think I’ll pass.”
“Come on…” He slipped his arms around her waist. “I promise, Julie’s one-hundred-percent okay with this. In fact, inviting you was her idea. I flat out told her I love you, and she said she didn’t blame me for falling for you.”
Ella laughed. “Now I know you’re a few peaches shy of a bushel.”
“Seriously. She said she’d even talk to Dillon about cutting you some slack.”
“Correct me if I’m wrong,” Ella said, backing away to remove her dirt-covered garden gloves, “but does any of this seem the slightest bit odd to you?”
“How so?”
“By her own admission, Julie wants you back, correct?”
“Yes.” He shifted his weight from one leg to the other. “But what does that have to do with us?”
“She’s playing head games with you, Jackson. She’s one of the top criminal attorneys in the state. Hell—maybe even the whole country. Clients pay her truckloads of cash to get them out of whatever jam they happen to be in. That said, do you honestly think kindhearted you stands a chance of getting your way against a snake like her?”
“You’re calling the mother of my child a snake?” A muscle popping in his jaw, he said, “That’s pretty low, Ella, when all along, you wanted me to at least try getting back together with her. Now you accuse her of trying to manipulate me? And not only that, but you apparently think I’m simpleminded enough to fall for any mind tricks she throws my way?”
“I didn’t say that. All I—”
He kicked a clump of dirt. “You’ve said enough. Come tonight or don’t. At the moment, I really don’t care.”
“Jackson, don’t leave angry,” she said, catching up to him at the end of the drive. “I’m sorry if I hit a nerve in regard to Julie’s motives. But I’d be lying if I told you I don’t smell a rat. Women don’t just willingly turn over men they supposedly love to another woman.”
“You did.” He refused to meet
her gaze.
“How so?”
“Back before you agreed to enter into a relationship with me, you were all too willing to give me back to Julie.”
A harsh laugh escaped Ella’s lips. “Give you back? You’re not mine to give. I don’t own you. I don’t expect anything from you other than mutual respect and truth. If you feel staying with Julie is the right thing for you and Dillon, then by all means, that’s what you should do. Yes, I love you, but not enough to have you feeling bitter toward me for the rest of our lives over me having somehow stolen you from your first love.”
“I’m sorry…” He crushed her with a hug. “It’s been an emotional couple of days.”
“I understand.” Holding him every bit as tightly, never wanting to let go, she said, “Dealing with Dillon has got to be rough. Personally, I was thrilled when my two ran off down the block to play at someone else’s house for a while.”
Shaking his head, he admitted, “I’m out of my element here. I feel like I’m losing control of my own kid and it’s scary.”
“All he needs is love, then he’ll come around.” The words were easy enough to say. Ella just prayed her prediction of Dillon’s behavior would come true.
“As a personal favor to me,” Jackson said, sweeping stray hair from in front of her eyes. “Come tonight. I’m not sure that you’ve ever met my parents.”
“Once,” she said, stooping to pick a dandelion from the lawn, “at a neighborhood block party, but it’s been a while.”
“They’ll love you as much as I do.”
“But since we’re doling out favors,” Ella said with a heavy heart, “I need you to do me one, as well.”
“Name it.” He took the flower, tucking it behind her right ear.
“Don’t tell them we’re an item. Until we get all of our kids firmly on our side, I’d just as soon keep our romance on the down-low.”
“Deal.” After sealing their agreement with a soft, sweet kiss, he headed back to his house, and she headed back to her gardening.
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