by Megan Lowe
“Feel better?”
“Yeah, I do.” It’s true, I do. I don’t know what it is about him, but now that I’ve started, I want to tell him everything.
“I’m glad.”
“Thank you for listening and for what you said at the gala. I realised I hadn’t been fair to you.”
“It’s okay. I get it, and it’s not like my dad was a saint in the first place.”
“He isn’t, but you didn’t deserve to bear the brunt of my anger and resentment.” I realise as I say that just how true those words are. I wasn’t fair to him; I just didn’t want to admit I was wrong. His willingness to listen to me tonight is proof of that.
“Thanks for that. So you want something to eat? I hear this place has the best tapas in the city.”
I smile, grateful for the change of subject. “You wanna go for the pork belly, calamari, and chorizo,” I tell him.
He picks up the iPad that sits on the coffee table and places our order. We spend the night eating, drinking, talking, and generally being civil. He’s a great listener and I like talking to him, telling him things I’ve never told anyone. It feels like a weight has been lifted off my chest. I know I should be afraid he’s going to run to the closest journo and spill all my secrets, but I know he won’t. Don’t ask me how I know; I just do. There’s a sincerity to him I haven’t seen in a long time. It’s a rarity in my business, but I do truly feel like he’s interested in what I have to say, something else I’m not used to.
When we were kids, we always got along well, and I’m pleasantly surprised to find that nothing’s changed, even after over two decades. As the night wears on, I find I’m actually enjoying myself, which is more than I ever could have hoped for at the start of the night. Being with Cole just makes everything better. He makes everything better.
I look back on the developments of tonight, of the decision I made to let Cole in. While I’m scared about what’s happening, at the same time I’m not. This is Cole, the guy who used to be my best friend when I was five years old. It’s funny how things can feel familiar but new at the same time. I’m not entirely sure what’s going on with us, but I do know that I want to find out where it’s all going.
Bolt-ing for the Loo
Could something be brewing between the bad girl of rock ’n’ roll McKnley Rhodes and Supermoto champ Cole Matthews? Rocking Rumours thought there was a hint of tension, the sexual kind perhaps, when the two were paired together at the Rocking Racers gala, but Cole left before we could investigate further. Our suspicions were confirmed tonight however, with both attending a party thrown by Bolt Energy, sponsors of McKnley’s Places upcoming tour and of Ryan Racing, with whom Cole signed with three weeks ago. After McKnley’s now infamous “loo blue,” she and Cole hit up the bar where she downed three shots of Johnny Walker Blue, no less, in quick succession before they disappeared.
Could this be the beginning of Australia’s answer to Pussycat Doll’s Nicole Scherzinger and Formula 1 superstar Lewis Hamilton’s high octane relationship? Only time will tell, but stick with us, Mongers. We’ll keep you up to date on all the developments!
Chapter Eight
Cole
I wake with Knley’s head tucked in between my neck and shoulder, my arm around her, hers over my stomach and her leg thrown over mine. We ate, drank, and talked late into the night. As it wore on, I could tell she was more relaxed, that she was enjoying herself. With me! I know, shocked the shit out of me too, but I’m glad. I’m more than glad, to be honest. She was so angry at me at the gala. Even though it was misplaced and I knew that, it still hurt, but something about her pain called to me. I wanted to help heal it. I needed to help heal it, and not just so I’d have that shot at getting in her pants. No, I wanted to bring out the Knley I knew when we were kids, so I could once again see the light that shines within her.
By the time the party was over, she was already passed out. Not knowing where she lives, although I was guessing one of the upper-class suburbs like Toorak or Brighton, and not wanting her to get a lecture from her mother, I waited for everyone to clear out before carrying her to the car waiting for me and taking her back to the hotel I’m staying at.
For a while I watch her while she sleeps. She’s relaxed, the anger that hardens her face when she’s awake is gone and all that’s left is her. She’s stunning. I wonder how long she’s been holding on to all the shit she told me last night? Looking at her when she’s on stage, you’d never know beneath that cool, rock ’n’ roll demeanour is someone who’s yearning to be set free. You’d never be able to tell that from her music either. Track after track proclaims how great her life is, how no one can bring her down. I admit Places is in heavy rotation on my iPod, but the Knley on those tracks and the one asleep in my arms right now are two very different people.
She stirs and groans as she stretches.
“Morning,” I say, staring into her big brown eyes.
“Hi,” she replies almost shyly.
“How do you feel?”
“I’ve felt worse.”
“So waking up to me isn’t the worst thing to happen to you?” Let’s face it, it is a possibility especially after the amount of alcohol she had before I managed to get some food into her.
She smiles. “Waking up to you isn’t a hardship at all.” I look into her eyes and see she’s telling the truth, something I barely hoped for. After last night, I was optimistic I’d made progress, put a dint in her negative thoughts about me, but to wake to this? It’s almost too much to get my head around, but I’m gonna take it.
“Yeah?”
She nods and my heart almost beats out of my fucking chest.
“What changed?”
She sighs. “A whole heap of things. Quinn, finding out about how you’ve followed us all this time, what you said to me at the gala, talking last night, everything just spilled over, and I thought ‘what am I doing?’ You were right. You’re not the enemy. You didn’t ruin my family. It just took me a while to realise it. In fact, you’re kind of a nice guy.”
“So you’re really okay with me? Talking to me? Being around me?”
She nods, a smile spreading over her face. “I think I’m more than okay with you.”
“Are you sure?” I ask again. I don’t want to misread anything that’s going on between us.
“I’m sure.” She reaches up to cup my cheek.
“Are we really going to do this?” I ask.
She nods. “That is if you want to…” She looks unsure and it slays me.
“Knley,” I whisper as I lower my head. Her lips are full and soft as I press mine against them. She moans, and the sound goes straight to my dick. I nip at her bottom lip, then lick to soothe the sting. My tongue then slips inside, gently massaging hers. The arm that was resting over my stomach now presses into my back, bringing her chest flush against mine, her leg up on my hip, allowing me to slip between her legs. The kiss deepens and I gently nudge her to her back, my hand slipping under the Ryan Racing shirt I dressed her in last night. I grind against her heat, her hips moving to meet mine.
I’m so hard it hurts. Knley is the ultimate woman, curves in all the right places, slim but not so slim that there’s nothing to hold on to, and her tits are amazing. I trail kisses down her neck to the part of her shoulder that’s exposed by my shirt, inhaling her scent. It’s fresh, slightly floral, and totally addictive.
“Cole,” she moans as I kiss behind her ear, her nails digging into my bare back. I’ve begun to inch my way underneath her shirt when her phone rings. Beneath me, she tenses.
“That’s my mum,” she says breathlessly.
“Do you have to get it?” I ask, pulling back so I can see her face. She’s a sight, hair mussed, cheeks glowing, lips red and swollen, chest heaving against mine.
“If I don’t she’ll just keep calling, and I’m pretty sure after last night she’s pissed, so she won’t give up until she’s spoken to me.”
I huff out a breath and reach over and gra
b her phone. She takes a deep breath before answering.
“He—”
She isn’t even able to get the word out before her mother starts in. She tenses even more. An intense wave of anger engulfs me. I hate Knley’s reaction. I hate that her mother treats her this way, that she’s not free to be herself, that she’s forcing herself to play a role that fits the image created for her based on what’s best for the band. Suddenly I realise what it must have been like for Knley growing up and a whole other wave of emotion comes over me.
I gently rest my weight on her again and lay my head on her shoulder. She relaxes a little as she runs her fingers through my hair, and I feel like I’ve just slain Goliath. Knley doesn’t say much during the conversation, just a whole lot of sighs and uh-huhs. Doesn’t Helen see what she’s doing to her daughter? What constraints she’s under, how shackled she feels? I’ve always wondered why guys do the white knight thing, but I get it now. There’s something so incredibly gutting about watching someone you lo—someone you care about very much become a shell of themselves. Eventually she hangs up.
“Is asking if everything is okay stupid?” I ask.
“Pretty much.” Her fingers are still running through my hair. I rub circles on her hip with my thumb, hoping the motion soothes her.
“How bad?”
“She’s pissed. Not as pissed as she could be though. You were right, the media had a field day with my ‘toilet tanty’ as you called it.”
“So what now?”
“I’m due at rehearsal in a couple of hours, and somehow I have to get from here to there without being seen leaving a hotel I’m not staying at, in the same clothes I was wearing last night.”
“What’s wrong with you being seen leaving here? Is it so bad if people know you spent the night away from home?” I ask, a bite in my tone. So much for her being more than okay with me.
“It’ll just lead to questions. Who was I with? What did we do? Are we dating? It’s just something I’d rather not deal with right now.”
“You mean I’m not something you want to deal with,” I say, sitting up.
“I didn’t say that.”
“Yeah, you did.”
“No, I said I didn’t want to deal with the questions that would arise from me being seen here.”
“I’m sorry, love, but I don’t see the difference. If you don’t mind being associated with me, then you wouldn’t want to hide.”
“What are you saying, Cole?” Her voice and eyes are hard.
“I’m saying you live your life hiding who you really are, pretending you don’t care, that you don’t have an opinion on things you genuinely care about. You’re hiding, and it’s bullshit.”
“You’re saying I’m a coward?” I shrug. “Because it’s cowardly of me to not want my private life splashed all over the national tabloids, to want to not be reduced to the rock ’n’ roll star who sleeps around, to be more than just Knley from Places, because that’s what it’ll be. It’ll be another article of Knley whoring herself around again or Knley in love! She’s engaged! She’s pregnant! And that means they get to forget about me, who I am, what I do. They get to forget about my music and the strength I try to promote, and they get to boil me down to a whore or a Stepford wife in the making, stuck at home popping out kid after kid. I may not totally agree with the image I project, but I do believe in strength and independence, and they will strip me of it the minute I’m seen leaving this hotel.”
By this point she’s crying. It’s then that I realise exactly what Knley has to put up with every day of her life, what it’s like for her to live her life so publicly.
“Hey, shh, it’s okay,” I say as I crush her to my chest.
“I want to be more,” she says. “I’m trying to be more. They just won’t let me,” she sobs.
“I know, love. It’s okay.” I run my fingers through her hair.
“I’m not a coward.”
“No, you’re not. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”
It’s clear to me now that Knley is so much more than just the bad girl of rock ’n’ roll; I highly doubt she even is that. No, she’s a fighter, and if she fights, I’ll fight too.
Chapter Nine
Knley
After my breakdown, Cole managed to sneak me out the side entrance of the hotel unseen. I made it to our rehearsal space a minute or two after everyone else, but by the way my mother was acting, you’d think I was two hours late.
“Oh, there you are, Knley. We weren’t sure what time to expect you,” she bites. I put my guitar case down and go to grab a cup of my favourite French Earl Grey tea.
“You said rehearsal started at eleven. It’s eleven, so here I am.”
“Yes, well I often say things in the hopes you’ll do them, but very rarely do you actually follow through.”
I sigh. “Can we just forget about that goddamn party and rehearse?”
“Pretty unlikely,” Blake says from behind her drum kit. “You’re on page three of all this morning’s papers, and on morning radio they had segments on what callers did when they were busting.”
“For fuck’s sake,” I mutter under my breath.
“Serves you right,” Ashton says as she strums her guitar. She’s rhythm to my lead. Quinn has the bass, and Sloane sings with me backing her up.
“Yes, Knley, what were you thinking?” Mum asks.
“I was thinking the whole car arrangement is bullshit and I couldn’t sit there a second longer listening to you argue about who was leaving when without going for someone’s throat.”
“You knew the arrangement,” Mum says.
“Doesn’t mean I like it.”
“What you want, McKinley,” she sneers, and I know she included the i, “doesn’t matter. Besides, we have bigger problems. You were seen with Cole Matthews.”
“When?” I ask, my heart racing. I was almost certain I’d escaped unseen this morning.
“Last night at the party. Both your absences were noted. And where were you this morning when I called?”
“I was in the city with a friend, and Cole and I were at that stupid party. We did our duty, we were seen. What more did we need to do?”
“You, McKnley Rhodes, were needed to schmooze with everyone there and get contacts we don’t have. What you weren’t supposed to do was go off somewhere with the scum that is Cole Matthews.”
I can feel my blood pressure rising. “And why exactly is Cole Matthews scum?” It doesn’t escape me that just a few weeks ago I would’ve been agreeing with her. Now I’m defending him. But then I think back to the way he held me, both last night and this morning and everything just feels right.
“One, because he’s a filthy motorbike rider, a glorified hoon with no talent, and second and more importantly, he’s related to Daniel Matthews, the man who ruined my marriage!” she cries indignantly.
“One,” I say, stepping up to my mother. At five seven, I tower over her. “He’s the Supermoto champ and is moving to the NRS this season. He has talent, a bucketload of it. A lot more than you, who is riding her daughters’ fame to the top. Second, it takes two to cheat. Daniel Matthews didn’t accidentally fall into your vagina.” With that, I pick up my guitar and storm out. I walk around the city for a bit before ending up at my favourite gelato place. They make it with liquid nitrogen, and the result is the creamiest ice cream on the planet. I tool around on my phone, ignoring the millions of notifications I’ve got. I know what they’ll be, punters giving me a hard time about my “loo blue” as the tabloids are calling it. I mean, really? Instead, I scroll through my contacts and pause when I see Cole’s name. My lips tingle when I think about the kiss we shared earlier and a smile spreads across my face. Without thinking too much, I tap on his name and call. He picks up after a couple of rings.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hey, it’s um, Knley,” I say, suddenly unsure of myself.
“I know, what’s up? I thought you had rehearsal?”
“Yeah, tha
t didn’t go so well.” I would elaborate but I don’t want everyone in the shop to overhear me.
“Your mum give you a hard time about last night?”
“Yep.”
“Bummer.”
I laugh. “Yeah, that about sums it up.”
“So what are you doing now?”
“Nothing, just eating gelato.”
“Nice for some, to eat gelato all day. Instead, I’m playing delivery boy for Parker.”
I chuckle.
“Look, I’m almost done here, then I’m headed back to Booker. Did you wanna come with me?”
“Seriously?”
“Why not? It might be good for you to get away for a bit, give everyone a bit of space to get over their snits.”
“Yeah maybe…,” I say, still not sure.
“Look, no one will leak where you are. It’ll be fine, just a few days away from the city. I’ll introduce you to the Ryans. You’ll love them. They’re awesome.”
“Okay.” I’m fucked if I know why I said that, but something inside me is telling me it’s the right move, that this, that Cole, is exactly what I need right now. Who knows, maybe that voice is right. All I know right now is my mother is shitting me to tears and I can’t stay around here any longer, not if either of us want to live to see our next birthday.
“Yeah?” he asks, a touch of surprise in his voice.
“Why not?”
“Awesome.” I can picture his smile through the phone.
“I’ll text you my address. Meet me there in an hour?”
“No problem.”
“See ya soon.”
“Absolutely.” I hang up and get up with a smile on my face. A few days away is just what I need.
Exactly fifty-four minutes later, Cole knocks at my door. I open it and find him smiling.
“I would’ve pegged you for a Brighton or Toorak girl,” he says as I step aside so he can come in.