*****
The heavy weight on his shoulder wiggled with each step he took. His shoulders ached. Dottie warned him not to carry Emmie on his shoulders, that it would hurt his back too much, but how could he deny his little girl?
“I see it, I see it! Over there, Papa, do you see the lights?”
Jack held tight to her legs as she pointed out ahead of her. They skirted the cars that waited for a parking spot to open and headed closer to the fair grounds.
“What people have against walking a few extra steps instead of parking close, is beyond me,” Dottie said as she glared at the passengers in the vehicle that waited for them to pass before cruising down the rest of the pathways to find an open spot.
“Good exercise never hurt a person. I'm telling you, the kids this age are growing up to be lazy.”
Jack shook his head. “Stop your mumbling woman.”
“Why don't you put her down? She can walk the rest of the way.” Dottie reached up to grab Emmie's waist.
Jack shooed her hand away. “Leave her be. She's fine up here. The girl wants to see the lights, and see the lights she will.”
Jack shrugged his shoulders in an effort to distribute his granddaughter's weight. She barely weighed anything, but at the moment, a feather would have felt like a ton of bricks.
“Do you want me down, Papa?” Emmie leaned down until her cheek pressed up against his.
“No, kiddo, you're fine. Once we get inside the grounds, then you can get down. Deal?” He readjusted his arms around her legs. He should have taken her shoes off earlier. Her heels kept digging into his chest.
A cluster of balloons flew up into the sky. Emmie giggled as she watched them.
“Can I get a balloon when we get there?”
“As long as there are some left,” Jack said. He groaned as he stepped in a pile of spilt fries.
“Put her down, Jack,” Dottie said.
She grabbed Emmie's hand and began to pull. Jack reached up for her other hand and after a bit of maneuvering, Emmie climbed down and off his back. Jack straightened and stretched. A loud pop sounded, pressure relieved. Ahhh, now that felt better.
“I wish Daisy could have come,” Emmie said as she reached for both Jack and Dottie's hands and began to swing them back and forth. “She'd have so much fun.”
“Emmie, we already talked about this. A fair is no place for a puppy.” Dottie side stepped some soggy napkins on the ground.
A clown stood at the entrance to the fair grounds. In his hands were bunches of balloons. As they approached the clown, Emmie dragged her feet. Jack glanced down, unsure why, and saw that Emmie's eyes were wide open. Jack stopped and crouched down.
“Emmie, have you ever seen a clown before?” He stoked her hair and made sure a smile was on his face.
Emmie nodded her head.
“Are you afraid of clowns?”
She shook her head.
Jack glanced up to Dottie. She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders.
“So what's wrong, Princess?”
Emmie leaned forward until her lips touched his ear. “Can I have a balloon?”
Jack smiled. Sometimes she amazed him. Shy because of a clown. Go figure.
“Well, let's go ask him, shall we?” Jack grunted as he stood back up. His knees weren't made for kneeling anymore. Hand in hand, Jack led Emmie to the clown. The look on his granddaughter's face was priceless.
Jack studied the clown. It didn't look scary. A huge floppy hat with a large daisy rested onto of a red curly wig. A wide red smile was painted on the face, along with bright yellow stars around the eyes. Emmie's eyes widened as she took in the outfit, the multicolored patches with flowers attached to the pants. When the clown bent down and looked Emmie in the eyes, Jack had to bite back a chuckle. She stepped back and hid behind Jack's legs.
The clown held out a balloon, a bright red one and waited for Emmie to take it. She glanced up at Jack, as if asking for permission, before she inched her hand out and grabbed the string. The clown moved on to surprise another child with a balloon, but Emmie never noticed. She'd caught sight of the bright flashing lights, the rides and the popcorn booth located directly inside the grounds.
Jack grabbed Emmie's hand while he turned to face Dottie.
“Where should we go first?”
His hand jerked. “Can we go on a ride, Papa?” Emmie pulled at his hand again. There were so many things he wanted to do with her. Go on rides, find the mirror house, eat some cotton candy and candied apples, win her a prize. Especially win her a prize. The games booths were off to the side and he saw some stuffed ponies. Maybe one of those.
“I think we should do those last, Jack. Do you want to be lugging around a large stuffed animal all night?” Dottie grabbed Emmie's other hand and motioned in the opposite direction of the game booths.
Jack looked around. The fair never changed. Year after year, no matter if you came ten years ago or just last year, it looked the same. The bright lights, loud carnival music and the crowds. Especially the crowds. As they walked through the grounds trying to locate some rides Emmie could go on, Jack watched the crowds. Groups of teenagers flocked together, moving from game to game in swells. Families meandered along, little children skipping in the dirt as their parents followed them with tired eyes and arms full of stuffed animals, popcorn and pop bottles.
Jack bumped into a woman who stood in the middle of the midway. The camera in her hand tumbled. Jack bent down to catch it, horrified that it might break, but it only swung on her neck. Shame faced, Jack mumbled an apology for bumping into her and backed up.
Emmie tugged on his arm. The woman gave Jack a brief smile as he nodded his head before he followed Emmie. She'd found a ride. Teacups. Mary used to love this ride. She loved to spin the wheel as fast as she could, so that the tea cup spun even faster.
“So you want to go on this one, do you?”
“Can we, Papa?” Emmie looked up at him, her eyes big and round with delight.
“Hand me your balloon, Emmie. I'll stay here and watch, okay?” Dottie bent to untie the balloon from her wrist.
Jack took her hand and joined the line-up for the ride. He glanced behind him. The woman still stood there, camera in hand. He scanned the crowd and noticed she took a picture of a man with two kids. Must be her family. Jack placed his arm around Emmie. Back when Mary was a child, they would do the same thing. Dottie would be in charge of taking all the pictures, but with her Polaroid, not those new digital toys everyone had nowadays.
Emmie jumped up and down as the inched their way closer to the front of the line. It was their turn to ride the teacups. Emmie's first real ride. Mary used to do the same thing, jump up and down as she clapped her hands in excitement. The first one she would beg to go on every time.
Like mother, like daughter.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Megan's eyes swam as she watched the girls on their latest ride. She didn't handle rides well. She'd like to blame it on old age, except then she'd have to admit she was getting older. Peter stood beside her. He leaned his arms on the wood fence as he watched their girls scream as they rode the tilt-a-whirl.
“Bet you wish you were on there with them,” Megan said. The longing in Peter's eyes as he watched the ride go round and round and round was unmistakable. Just like a little kid.
“Nah, they don't want their old man going on all the rides with them,” Peter said as he shrugged his shoulders. Megan had to look away - she was getting dizzy just watching them.
“You should have gone, Peter,” Megan said.
Alexis wanted to go one ride by herself, but then she freaked out at the last minute and begged Hannah to go with her. Peter offered, but the lineup was full of kids and teens, no parents. The last thing Alexis wanted was to be embarrassed. Megan remembered when she went through that stage. God help me, please.
“Wonder if they'll be able to handle any more rides? I promised Hannah we'd go on the Ferris wheel right before we left.”
Megan glanced up to the Ferris wheel that Peter pointed to and recoiled at the swinging seats on the ride that paused to let others off. The thought of sitting in that seat, staring out on the grounds as it swung back and forth caused Megan's stomach to flop. A shiver ran down her spine. Nope.
“I think I'll sit out on that one, too.”
Peter placed his arm around Megan's back and squeezed. “Won't you come on at least one ride with me?”
Megan turned, so that her back rested against the wooden fence. She looked at Peter out of the corner of her eye. He laughed.
“You're kidding me right?” She turned back around. The tilt-a-whirl ride slowed. Thank goodness.
As the girls exited the ride, she noticed Hannah wobble. Megan rushed over and helped her off the stairs. Hannah's face was white, her lips pale and her body swayed in half circles. Megan led her over to a ledge where she sat her daughter down and rubbed her back. Alexis jumped down the stairs, rushed over to Peter and gave him a high five.
“That was awesome!” She grabbed the large pop out of Peter's hands and guzzled it down. She then took her half-eaten candy apple from his hand and licked it. Megan shook her head. That girl loved rides. She went for the thrill every time.
“I never want to go on that ride again,” Hannah said. Megan continued to rub her back. Her face wasn't so white anymore, and a pale pink glow filled her cheeks. Megan handed her a bag of popcorn. Hannah plunged her hand inside the bag and filled her mouth with the kernels.
“You're just a big chicken. That was totally fun.” Alexis grabbed Peter's hand as she taunted Hannah.
“Wanna come on with me this time, Dad?”
Megan shook her head at Peter. The yearning on his face made her smile. This was the man she fell in love with. The man who made life fun for her. Or at least, he used to. He wanted to do that for her again. Tonight was a step in that direction. To keep life fun. Somehow, he managed to overlook the horror in their life. She didn't know how he did that. Lately, it seemed like that's all she could see.
Until she looked at Alexis. The excitement in her face, the way her eyes twinkled, it helped. It helped her to see that there was another way of looking at life. She held up her camera and waited for the lens to auto-focus. The way Alexis pulled at Peter's arm, it would make a great photo.
“Tell you what,” Peter said as he walked Alexis over to where Megan and Hannah sat. “It’s getting late and I promised Hannah we'd go on the Ferris wheel before we left. The line is pretty long, so I figure by the time we get to the front Hannah's stomach should be settled and we might even be able to convince your mom to go on. What do you say?”
Megan glanced at the line that snaked around a cotton candy booth. Maybe by the time they reached the front of the line, she’d be able to convince them she was better off watching them.
Alexis rushed to the end of the line. “Hurry up, you guys before someone else comes along.”
Peter grabbed Megan's hand as they joined Alexis. He gave it a squeeze. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.
“Augh, gross. Do you have to do that here?” Alexis shielded her eyes with her hand and groaned.
Hannah beamed a smile their way. She snuggled into Peter, placed her arms around his waist and leaned her head against him. The color had come back to her face.
As they stood in line, Megan listened to the girls talk about the rides they went on. She didn't add much to the conversation. Instead, she found herself looking out into the crowds of people who walked by. Families, faces wreathed in smiles, as they walked through the fairgrounds, wowed by the sights and smells. Older couples, who reminisced about the past as they saunter along, hand in hand. Children, who escaped the confines of their parents’ attention and played tag in the matted grass. The squeals of laughter, the loud music from the game booths and the cries of the tired child, all mixed together. A smile settled on Megan's face as she took it all in.
Peter tapped her on the shoulder. “You okay?” His words may have asked a general question, but she knew the look in his eyes. They asked for more. Are you staying here with us? Are you keeping your promise? Why do I need to be worried?
She nodded her head. She was fine. Not okay in the sense that she felt complete, whole. But fine. Fine - as in, I'm here, I'm learning to enjoy the moment.
“Just a few more stops of the Ferris wheel and then it's our turn,” Alexis bumped into Megan. She tore her eyes from Peter's gaze and ruffled her daughter's already messy hair. Beyond Alexis was a bench.
“You know what? I think I'm going to go sit over at the bench over there and just watch you guys. There's only room for three in a seat, so I'll take pictures. Deal? Plus, then I can hold onto all these prizes and eat your popcorn.” Megan gestured to the bench that remained empty. A miracle on a night like this. One Megan was determined to take advantage of.
“You just don't want to go on the ride. Admit it.” Alexis crossed her arms as she pouted.
Hannah glared at her sister.
Megan stepped out of line and held her arms out. Alexis threw her items at her, the stuffed animals and the bag of cotton candy. Hannah laid her items on top and gave her mom a smile. Peter just laughed. Megan shot him a dirty look. The least he could have done was help her get out of the ride without Alexis being upset. She danced amongst the swelling crowd and reached the bench just as a group of teenagers were about to sit down.
“Would you guys mind?” She plopped the load in her arms down on the bench before they could say a word. One girl, around sixteen, sat on the bench with her legs crossed. She swung her foot as she stuck a lollipop in her mouth. Megan didn't look away. Kids these days. Another girl grabbed onto to her friends arm and pulled her up. The one, who had sat on the bench, pulled the lollipop out of her mouth and threw it down on the bench before she turned her back, swung her lips and tossed her hair over her shoulder. AUGH. Some kids ... my girls had better never act like that when they are older.
Settled on the bench, Megan waved to her family who were next in line. She pushed all the items on the bench closer to her. No sense in taking up the whole bench when she only needed half. She leaned forward just an inch and gazed down at the line for the Ferris wheel. It was huge. Teenagers, older children, young couples holding hands and families, just like hers, waited for their chance.
One family in particular caught her eye. An older couple, the woman wore something that reminded her of a housecoat, while the older man had a worn straw hat on top of his head. In between the couple stood a little girl. Must be their granddaughter, how nice. Last year her mom had offered to take the girls to the fair. After Megan refused her, she didn't offer again. Not this year. Surprising, because she thought for sure her mom would.
She heard a squeal of delight and watched as Peter helped Hannah and Alexis climb into their seat. He sat in the middle, with his arms around each girl. Hannah held tight to the metal bar while Alexis lifted up her hands and waited for the ride to begin. Megan sympathized with Hannah. She would have held on tight until her knuckles went white and kept her eyes clenched shut.
Megan snapped photos of the girls. She made sure she caught the expressions on both their faces. About to take another shot, a voice broke her focus.
“Would you mind if I joined you?”
Megan pulled her camera away from her face. An older woman, slightly familiar, stood before her.
Megan tried to remember where she had seen her before. Her tiny frame, bony hands and curly grey hair made her think of someone. She smiled, moved her items tighter against her leg, and with a swift glance, looked back at the older couple with the young child who stood in line. The husband now stood alone with the little girl.
“Of course,” Megan said.
The older woman sank onto the wood bench beside Megan with a sigh. She lifted her feet about an inch off the ground before she placed them back on the dirt.
“It's so nice to be off my feet. I'm not a spring chicken anymore.”
&nb
sp; Megan gave the woman a polite smile before she picked up the camera again and searched the Ferris wheel for Peter and the girls. The girls were having fun. They were almost at the top.
“Are your children on the ride too?”
Megan turned and studied the woman beside her on the bench. Her eyes twinkled as she stared back at Megan before she gestured towards the line-up. Despite her elderly appearance, she exuded a sense of energy and excitement. As if she felt younger than her body looked. The soft smile she gave Megan spoke volumes. As if she understood a secret yet to be shared.
“They are. My husband and two daughters. They're almost at the top now.” She pointed to where Peter sat. He must have been watching her, as he waved when she pointed to him. Megan waved back.
“You didn't want to go on the ride with them?”
Megan shook her head. “I don't do well with rides. Especially when it comes to heights,” she held up her camera. “I'm quite happy to take pictures though.”
The woman chuckled. “I'm the same way. That's my husband over there, with our granddaughter. He's been the one to take her on all the rides tonight.” She gestured towards the older man with the straw hat and the little girl in a pale yellow dress. The little girl's back was turned towards her.
Megan couldn’t take her eyes off her. She held onto her grandfather's hands and tried to jump high in the air. With each jump, he would lift her up, helping her to jump a little bit higher every time. Megan imagined the laughter coming from the girl. Her heart cramped.
“You're granddaughter’s a little cutie.” Megan tore her gaze away.
“She sure is. She's the bright light in our otherwise dark world. I don't know where we would be without her.”
Megan nodded her head. She reached across and offered her hand. “Since it seems we'll be on the bench together for a bit, I'm Megan,” she said.
“Nice to meet you, Megan, I'm Josie.” She reached across and shook Megan's hand. It was such a warm night, that Megan was shocked when Josie touched her cold fingers to Megan's hot ones.
Finding Emma Page 16