"Ow. She's nuts. She's never going to tell us where it is."
"Where what is?" Brendi asked as she pulled my face around to look at her.
I nuzzled her chest with the end of my nose. She giggled. "The body of the headless queen." I had no idea if that's what Brendi would call her, but if I were a girl in my mid to late teens, that's what I would say.
Brendi made a face. "She was mean. She turned me into a wolf."
"She did that to me too," Grey said.
Brendi gasped and scooted closer to Grey. "She did? Then why aren't you in a girl shape? I bit the Queen's head off."
That you did. I nudged her. "Did you know that this wolf here, this is my mommy?"
Now her eyes widened even more. "She is? A wolf had a Unicorn?"
Oh dear. It was like I couldn't keep her on the same track. She'd be okay for a few minutes and then just jump to the next one. I was getting a headache and my knees cramped from sitting sideways on the ground like I'd seen horses sit. I had no idea how I was going to get up. And as much as I hated to admit it, Medbh was right. This wasn't getting me back to my home. "No. She had me when she was a human, before Medbh turned her into a wolf."
"Medbh did that to me, but I didn't get to have a Unicorn." She looked down. "I want to go home."
If horses could gasp, I did one right there at that admittance. Since the moment I'd met Brandi—a year ago?—she'd never once said she wanted to go home. In fact, when her father tried to take her home, she chose to stay.
"Do you really want to go home, Brendi?"
She nodded and looked at me.
Something caught my attention there. Something I'd never bothered to look at before. Something…I hated seeing in my own eyes when I looked in the mirror.
Fear.
But not just the raw emotion. There were other horribles at play. Fear of abandonment. Fear of being hated. Fear of being alone. Fear of dying alone. Fear of never being loved. Fear of…
Never going home.
The first tear came as I drew those emotions out of her. She'd buried them so deep; I think Brendi had actually forgotten they were there. I reached inside of this terrified child, because that's what she was, that same terrified child who'd been taken from her home and thrust into a world of changing moods and shifting scenery. No choices. No future as anything but an object.
I moved further into those thoughts and soothed her as I went. There I saw the events of that day, of getting out of her dad's car and heading up the path to the school. She'd seen a white wolf in the way and wasn't sure if it was a dog or not. It growled at her. The path actually moved around as she tried to run away. One wolf became two and she found herself standing in front of large castle. This castle. Somewhere in those woods she'd stepped into Alfheim and not realized it.
And from that moment on, she'd been told her mother didn't want her. Her father didn't want her. That Medbh was the only one that wanted her. Wouldn't you like to be a wolf? Being a wolf is so much fun. Build me a Cairn and I'll give you the power to be a wolf. Or a Faerie. Would you like to look like us? To not be shunned as a human? Locked in the dungeon night after night?
Make us a Cairn little Witch, little Witch. Make us a Cairn so that we can walk in the Human World.
Night after night she fought them off, crying out for her daddy. Her mommy. But she didn't know her mommy was dead, killed by the Changeling left in her place. And her father had been accused of disposing of his daughter.
Brendi had no idea how many days, or months, or even years passed before she finally gave in. She made a Cairn as the Queen said, and she was given the form of a wolf…but not a Faerie. To be a real Faerie you have to drink the blood.
You have to be willing to give up your power as a Witch!
"But I'm not a Witch!" she told them over and over again.
They called her a liar. An evil child. To lie after the Faerie had given her such a magnificent body!
And then one day guests arrived in the garden, and when she saw her father, she didn't recognize him at first. She thought he was another lie. But she followed him and saw…
And saw…
"You were there that day," Brendi said in the memory as she looked at Sam. And Sam looked like herself, not the Unicorn.
"Yes. I was there. So was your dad."
"That really was my dad."
"Yes."
"And I remember his friend. I thought he was a bad person."
I frowned, because if Darren McConnell was anything, it wasn't a bad person. "Why would you think he was bad?"
"Because he smelled like the Faeries. I could smell his power, but it wasn't right. And then he fought the Queen and I…I…"
I waited for her to relive the memory, and she did, the pictures and images of that day fell around us like reflections in a shattered mirror. I stood firm, though I wanted to grab her and run to protect her. That feeling, the overwhelming need to shelter her, was what kept me going forward on this path. "You drank her blood."
"Yes."
"Because you wanted to be a Faerie. You wanted to be accepted like everyone else."
There was a long pause and then a simple, "Yes."
"It's okay, Brendi. We all want to fit in. Witches more than anyone, because we are different. We live for and by the special. Every day."
She finally looked up at me and the little girl in the shift wasn't there anymore. Nor was the tall, eighteen-year-old. Brendi was the fourteen-year-old in her school uniform, staring at me with wide eyes. "I'm…special?"
"Yes. You are. Medbh tried to take that from you. But in the end, you hid it deep," I reached out and pressed a finger to her chest. "Here. In your heart."
"What did I hide?"
"The one thing no one can ever…" I stopped myself when I realized something. Something I'd been missing from the beginning.
The memory I'd been fighting to grasp came to me as if it were finally time for me to know. Suddenly I knew where my Arcane was, and I knew who'd removed it. The only one who could. Me.
I knelt down in front of her and smiled. "There is one thing no one can take from you. And that's your soul. Even if it's physically stolen from you, it's always yours, Brendi."
She rushed forward and threw her arms around me. I held her tight like that in the shattered world of her eyes, until it all faded and I found her hugging my neck in the blackened courtyard of a…
No wait.
I blinked at the green grass beneath me. At the little pink flower staring up between my hooves. Lifting my head as high as a horse could, I saw bushes where the twisted wood had been. I pushed and pulled and grunted until I was standing on all fours. Brendi clung to me and I waited until she had climbed up on top of my back.
The palace wasn't as I remembered it, made of black, gleaming obsidian. Now it sparkled white as snow in the afternoon sun. Spires that went higher than I could lift my head. The garden was completely restored and I made a loud snort as pink, white and purple cherry blossoms fluttered by in the wind. Medbh was on top of Grey's back as she came trotting up beside us. "What…?" I didn't know how to ask the question.
Grey tilted her head to look up. "A Queen of Faerie is both ruler and thinker of her kingdom. It forms to her thoughts and creates what she wants. It's been rebuilding itself like this since the two of you connected. I don't know what you did, Sam, but you did it by giving her back her Spirit."
"No, I didn't give her back anything. I just let her show me what happened to her."
"You listened. You paid attention. You started her on the road to recovery. It'll take time, but she'll improve."
I couldn't see Brendi, but I could feel her on my back. So I moved to a part of this new white palace so I could see the reflection—
"Sweet Lord and Lady!"
Brendi sat tall on my back, with fiery red hair that curled and fell over her shoulders and over my backside. Her shift was now as beautiful a dress as Tzariene had ever worn, and her skin was pink and very human looking.
There was no telltale point to her ears and no sharp teeth in her smile. This was a young human girl.
"I want to go home, Sam," Brendi said as she jumped off my back and put her hands to the sides of my face. "But not just yet. I want to rebuild this kingdom, repair the damage, and then find a suitable queen."
"I'm not dead, you know."
Both of us looked down at the Kachina doll. "No," I said. "But you're a bitch and a liar, and you can live in the crazy when you want."
"Would it be too terrible to just give me back my body?"
"With no head."
Medbh shifted on Grey's back. "I'd have to have you bring that to me."
"Ask me nicely."
When she didn't answer, Brendi laughed. "I put your body in the same position you put Sam, Medbh. It's been there the whole time."
Same position as me? The only thing Medbh had done to me was turn me into a—
Fountain!
All of us faced the now working fountain. I hadn't seen it before, but I assumed Medbh had passed by it plenty of times in her Kachina form. I looked closely and buried in what I thought was some weird, modern sculpture really was the outline of Medbh's body, still dressed in the party dress she'd been wearing that afternoon in her garden.
"No! You're kidding me! It's here!" She jumped down and ran to the fountain. "Come on, get it out of there. I want it back."
"You need a head."
"I'll use the doll head!"
Brendi and I looked at each other. "Ew," she said.
Yeah. That was a human response.
Grey came forward and nudged my knee. "We have to go. It's time."
"It is?" I wasn't sure how she knew that, but it was Mom so I agreed. "Brendi, is there a Cairn in the castle?"
"Yes, the arch over by the twin rose bushes. That's where I always answered your calls. Come on."
We followed Brendi to the bush, Grey and I, as Medbh climbed the foundation and hugged its leg. I stood in front of it with Mom at my side, waiting. When Brendi didn't activate it, I looked at her. "Well?"
Grey answered. "She's waiting, same as me."
"For what?"
"For Arden. Be patient, Sam. The real fight's just beginning. Oh, just so you know, when you step through into our world? No one's going to see you, but whatever happens, just go with it. Okay? Trust your mother."
What the hell did that mean?
TWENTY FOUR
CRWYS & SAMANTHA
"Meanwhile, back at the cabin," Crwys muttered to no one in particular as he stood outside the newly erected wooden lattice walls and watched as Arden's coven Cut the Circle. Then again, the latticework could have been there the whole time and he doubted he'd have noticed it.
He knew this confrontation with Tzariene about Bastien's animus was important to most everyone standing around. But his attention remained focused on Sam, his thoughts a constant jumble of questions. Where was she? What's wrong with her? And what the hell did Tzariene say to her?
That last question was really the only reason he was staying. Otherwise, he'd have absconded with Arden's car and went off to find Sam. He hated that he couldn't sense her from a distance because their bond wasn't complete. If he could do that, he might be able to pinpoint exactly where she'd gone.
The Aces pack, all in human form, stood around him. All patiently waiting for Arden to bring them in and uncover the mirror. Crwys hated to tell them that there was no way all of them were going to fit in that tiny piece of real estate. He figured Arden would allow the Beta and a few others into their Circle.
The fact she was doing this at all unnerved him. He'd never really known Arden to be so…accommodating, especially on her own land. And since he assumed she did things mostly for her own personal gain—what was in this for her? Wasn't it a bad idea to call up a Faerie queen and yell at them? At what point did she think this was good for business?
As for Bastien, the point of this meet 'n greet, he was being prepared in the cabin where Ivan had fallen asleep. Crwys had checked on the Cyber Witch, and Arden's nurse, the women who'd obviously been treating him, said he was exhausted and needed the rest.
A murmur around him made him turn and he saw Ben supporting the Alpha Werewolf under an arm as they slowly led him from the cabin. A low, chest-thrumming growl started among the pack and Crwys stepped forward to take the other arm. Ben paused, as if he were going to say something, and then nodded, and the two continued to the Circle.
Arden was there, using her long athame to Cut the opening so they could bring Bastien into the Circle. Crwys's ears popped the moment he stepped through. Images came back to him, memories of being brought into a Circle looking for Sam, only to be shot and betrayed. Kidnapped. Weakened. He hesitated just slightly and his gaze found Arden's when she touched him on the shoulder. He peered deeply into her dark eyes and found a bit of reassurance. This wasn't a Circle to recapture him. This was to save Bastien's life.
They led the stumbling, half-conscious wolf to the balefire. He wore little more than a pair of jeans and bandages. He was cold to the touch and Crwys put his finger to Bastien's neck to check for a pulse. When the Alpha growled deep, he took his fingers away.
Yeah, the old bastard was still alive.
Dharma and Kyle brought the mirror and set it carefully on the ground before they stepped back. It wasn't covered at all, but exposed to everyone. The door was already open!
But it wasn't Tzariene that showed up in the mirror.
This was a Faerie queen in brilliant white. Her hair, the silver flowers woven in it, the glow about her, everything said Faerie. Everything but her ears, which were rounded. And her face, which was human, with flushed cheeks and normal teeth when she smiled at Arden.
It was Brendi!
Crwys's muscles locked when he saw her and his mind went to places he never wanted to revisit. Pain, agony, despair, loneliness, hopelessness…weakness…torture. The Arrow being twisted in his heart when he was lowered by chains that pierced his flesh and fused to his bones. Her face shadowed with hatred and power. His screams that still brought him awake in the early morning hours…
"Crwys," Arden said.
He felt her touch on his arm and it took all he had to pull his gaze from her to look at Arden. He didn't trust Brendi. He was afraid to turn his back on her. "What is this?" he hissed at her.
"A mending of sorts. I can't make you stay. I can't make you listen. Neither can she. But we can ask you to help us. And in the end, you'll understand everything."
What the hell did that mean?
"Azazel," Brendi said from the mirror.
His jaw clenched, but he looked at her. He held back his power. He didn't know if he could burn her from one world to another, if his limited ability as a human could travel the distance, but at that moment, he wanted to try.
"I am sorry," she said. "There is nothing I can do to ask for your forgiveness. I was led astray. Searching for something…something I'd lost. I've found it now, and I want to do what I can to make it right. With you, with the wolves, and with Samantha."
Samantha? Still supporting Bastien, Crwys spoke, "Did you do something to her? Or was it Tzariene?"
She held up her hand. "The play isn't finished, Azazel. But I will do what I can." She stepped out of the mirror and a large gray and white wolf appeared.
The wolves outside the Circle spoke in whispers. It was Grey! How…why was she in Alfheim? Her wolf form morphed with blurred lines and soft light until Elizabeth Hawthorne stood within the frame. She wore a long blue dress that dragged the ground, with a low neck and silver braiding. She moved as a horse snorted and came into view.
No…
Crwys swallowed. That wasn't a horse. Not that color…and with a horn.
Things moved at a strange pace after that. Eliza jumped through the mirror, instantly becoming a wolf again, and landed to the side of Bastien. Then the Unicorn reared up, kicked its front hooves, and jumped through the mirror as well.
But it didn't come throug
h. Crwys had braced himself, expecting a Unicorn to appear in front of him.
Bastien abruptly convulsed back and he and Ben let go as they stepped out of the way. The Alpha was bowed back, his arms out at his sides and his face to the sky as he screamed. The scream became a howl. And the Aces answered him.
Light came from his chest and Crwys put his hands up protect his eyes. When the light dimmed and he blinked to regain his sight, Bastien was on his hands and knees gasping for breath. Ben knelt down beside him and tentatively put his hand on Bastien's bare shoulder. "Bastien?"
Grey came to stand by Crwys and nudged his thigh. He reached down and scratched her neck. You know we've been worried about you.
I was fine. I had business to attend to.
Bastien's animus?
Yes. The answer was abrupt and Crwys waited, watching her. Then, We have something to tell you. Please stay put.
* * *
Sam
When I saw Crwys, I couldn't think of anything else. He looked beat down, haggard, gaunt. The circles under his eyes were deeper and he had a permanent crease between his brows. When I saw the half-slumped Bastien, a connection was established. Something that pulled me to him as if I had a chain from my chest to his.
I heard Brendi's words but didn't really understand them. My focus was laser intent on the two men I could see through the Cairn's gate. I wanted to go to them. Both of them. To return Bastien's animus and to hold Crwys in my arms and never let him go.
I watched Grey jump through, then I jumped through and everything changed. No one's eyes tracked me, and I stood outside the mirror and looked into a black and white world. The only movements were the shift of lights that flickered at the center of every person there. I stepped around carefully to twist and turn my horse form to see them. All sorts of colors surrounded me.
Bastien, Arden, Crwys, Kyle, Dharma…each of them flickered a different color that pulsed, grew brighter, then dimmed.
"You're seeing now, aren't you?" Grey's voice startled me. I'd become so intent on watching those lights! They were so beautiful, each one so unique.
Elemental Soul (The Eldritch Files Book 5) Page 17