by Sue MacKay
‘And afterwards? Will you want to be around for him? It was you who said it would be better for him not to meet you than to have you walk away later. And yet here you are. Does that mean you want to be a part of his life?’
‘Why wouldn’t I be?’ He had the audacity to look startled.
Something in her head exploded. ‘Because I wasn’t worth the effort of something as easy as a text so why would I expect more for my son?’
‘Don’t I deserve a second chance?’
‘Aren’t I giving you one?’
His hands slid into his pockets and he leaned against the front of the car. ‘I’m trying to get my head around it all. Please be patient.’
‘Sure.’ Her hands fisted in the air between them, her teeth dug into her bottom lip. ‘Sure.’
‘There’s something else that’s bugging you, isn’t there? Something from the past you’re busting to get off your chest.’
How did he know that? How could he read her so well after all these years? He couldn’t read her at all back then. ‘Why did you ask me out that first time?’
‘Because I wanted your company. I liked you.’
Narrowing her eyes at him, she forced the words out. ‘Not because you wanted to show Max you could do better with his old girlfriend than he had?’
Mitch reared back, horror twisting his handsome face. ‘Where did you get that crazy idea?’
‘I heard you. You and Max, shouting at each other one day when I came around to your flat to tell you I was pregnant. Max yelling that brothers never, ever went out with each other’s girlfriends, current or otherwise. You taunting him about how I preferred living with you than him.’
‘Sh—’
‘Don’t swear in front of Jamie,’ she snarled. ‘There was more. Max taunted you by saying he was surprised you hadn’t got me pregnant to prove how much better than him you were.’
‘And I told him I didn’t intend wrecking my great career because I had duties at home with a family.’ Mitchell slammed his hands on his thighs and leaned back, staring up at the clouds scudding across town. His throat worked hard and he swallowed fast. His eyes blinked rapidly. ‘That wasn’t about you. It was about me. And Max.’
‘Of course it was. How stupid of me to think any different. But I’ll tell you this for nothing.’ She paused for emphasis. ‘I don’t believe you. I hated being used as a scratching post between you two. I’d liked Max until then. I’d loved you. More than anyone, anything.’
His head snapped up. ‘Jodi, no, you didn’t.’ His face lost its tanned look as all colour drained away. ‘You couldn’t have.’ There was a tremor in his voice.
She shook her head, afraid to say anything more in case she really tore him apart to the point of no return. She’d said too much already. Her temper had got the better of her at the worst possible moment. She’d held that hurt in for so long now that a few more weeks wouldn’t have mattered. But, no, she’d opened her mouth and slapped him over the head with her words.
‘Maybe Max said that to me because he cared deeply for you, and when I picked up with you he saw red.’
Her chin dropped a little as she contemplated that. ‘No, he didn’t. It was Max who called our relationship off.’ Not that she’d been broken-hearted. They had got on well but she hadn’t been in love with the guy. And he certainly hadn’t loved her.
‘He’s a Maitland, remember?’
‘A commitment dodger?’
‘Yeah, exactly.’ Mitch’s sigh hurt her.
‘You’re wrong. Max and I got on okay but there was no chemistry. None at all. We should never have dated for as long as we did. It became a comfortable habit, really.’
Mitch’s eyes widened. ‘Truly?’ When she nodded he continued. ‘Still, you should never have heard that particular argument. It was pure Max and Mitch vitriol, each trying to hurt the other. You know how good at that we are.’ He drew a breath. ‘And I swear the only reason I asked you out that night was because I liked you, was attracted to you and wanted to get to know you better.’
‘Oh, okay. Thanks.’ She nibbled her lip, trying to ignore the elephant between them. She’d loved Mitch. And now he knew. ‘I had hoped we’d had more going for us than your antipathy towards your brother.’
‘Jodi, we had much more. My problems with Max never had anything to do with why I was with you. For me it was all about you and me.’
She’d put it behind her. She had to. For Jamie. And maybe even for herself. ‘Let’s go feed our boy.’
Let’s forget my tongue has a mind of its own sometimes. She slapped at her cheeks. When would this watery stuff dry up? She never did tears. Yeah, sure.
CHAPTER FIVE
MONDAY MORNING WAS grey and wet. The clouds oozed drizzle. It suited Jodi’s mood.
‘You sure you don’t want any toast?’ Mum asked for the fourth time.
Jodi shook her head, irritated by her mother’s persistence. ‘I wouldn’t be able to keep it down.’ Even the tea she’d drunk sat like a puddle in her stomach. She wanted to be at the hospital now, meeting Lucas Harrington, getting to the nitty-gritty of Jamie’s medical issues. But it was barely gone seven-thirty.
‘Want me to do anything with Jamie?’
‘Thanks, Mum, but I’ll leave him for as long as possible. He had a bad night.’ Which meant so had she. There was grit in her eyes, a dull throb in the base of her skull, and her limbs were lead-lined.
‘Then I’ll take the dirty clothes down to a laundry I saw when I went for a walk yesterday. I can take my laptop with me and do some work while I wait.’ Mum started stuffing Jamie’s clothes into a plastic shopping bag.
‘Thanks, Mum. I do appreciate it.’ More than that, she really loved it that her mum had come up to Auckland with them, even if only for the first few days. It had made all the difference, being able to leave Jamie with her while she’d gone in search of Mitch. Mum’s support was always practical, and she’d come to recognise it for what it was—love.
‘Jamie’s my concern, too.’
Mum seemed to make more time for him than she’d ever done for her. In fact, since they’d learned about Jamie’s kidney disorder Mum had changed, putting more effort into helping her, being there to give her a break, and sometimes offering to pay the overdue bills. As she hated parting with her hard-earned money, that was huge. Despite being wealthy due to her own hard work, she hadn’t learned to relax. Work had been her saviour, money her prize.
Jodi jumped. Someone was knocking on the door. Opening it, she gasped, ‘Mitch. What are you doing here?’
‘I thought that since I’m going to Jamie’s appointment with you I may as well give you a lift to the hospital.’
‘But we’re not going for more than two hours.’ He looked absolutely fabulous in his grey suit and light blue shirt. The darker blue tie matched his eyes perfectly.
A sheepish look crept over his face. ‘Is it a problem? I can come back later.’
Was this about Mitch wanting to see Jamie again? Or to make himself useful? She stepped back, holding the door wide. Or did he have things to say to her? ‘Come in.’
‘I brought breakfast.’ He held up a grocery bag. ‘Bacon and eggs.’
Nausea swamped Jodi. No way would she be able to hold that down. ‘We had toast a little while ago,’ she fibbed to save his feelings.
Her mother stood up. ‘Bacon and eggs might be good for you, my girl.’ She switched her fierce look to Mitch. ‘I’m glad you’re going with Jodi and Jamie to the specialist. She needs you there. So does Jamie.’
Here we go. Mum had never had any time for the charming Maitland brothers, always warning her that she’d get into trouble if she hung around with either of them. How true, if having the most gorgeous little boy on the planet was trouble.
Mitch gave Mum one of his serious smiles, wisely withholding one of his charm-filled variety. ‘Alison, you’re right, which is why I’m here. I will do what I can for Jamie and Jodi over the next couple of months.’
/> ‘Okay.’ Jodi went for the peace plan. ‘Mum, I’ve got a few things from yesterday that need washing.’
‘Where’s Jamie?’ Mitch asked, before her mother could say anything more to him.
‘Dozing in bed. Not a good night. I’ll get him up shortly.’
Thankfully, Mum decided to leave well alone and, picking up the laundry, she slung her laptop carry bag over her shoulder and disappeared outside.
Jodi switched the kettle on, more for something to do than the need for a hot drink. She still couldn’t get her head around the fact that she was in the same city as Mitch, let alone the same motel room with only an arm’s length between them. While she’d lain awake beside Jamie during the night she’d had plenty of time to think about this man who’d once made her heart sing. If only he hadn’t been so commitment shy. But he had been, still was, so there was no point in rehashing her old feelings for him.
‘Aren’t you entertaining a TV crew this week?’ she asked, vaguely remembering something that doctor had said in Mitch’s office on Saturday night.
‘I’ve been into work already and arranged for Aaron to cover for me this morning. For all his grizzling I think he’s stoked to be fronting some of the documentary.’
She gave him a quick grin. ‘And you wouldn’t be?’
His answering grin was self-deprecating. ‘Not at all.’
A cry sounded in the other room. ‘Here we go. Jamie doesn’t wake up sweetly. Especially after a rough night.’ This was sure to send Mitch charging out of the motel faster than an angry bull.
Pulling the curtains open, she sat on the edge of the bed and ran her hand over Jamie’s damp hair. ‘Hey, sweetheart. It’s time to get up and have some breakfast.’ She kept talking softly while rubbing his head, then his back, slowly coaxing the crying to a sniffle then to a few hiccups. ‘That’s my boy. Shall we put your tiger top on today?’
‘Okay.’
Really? That easily? Jodi studied Jamie and realised he was looking beyond her to the doorway. A quick glance showed Mitch leaning against the doorframe. That’s why she’d won the first round in the dressing stakes so easily. Mitch was a huge distraction.
‘Let’s get you some toast and honey.’ That usually meant Jamie would automatically want cereal.
‘Okay, Mummy.’
Blink. Was something wrong with her hearing this morning? Where had this little angel come from? She plopped a kiss on her boy’s cheek. Noted the slight temperature from the warmth on his brow. Paracetamol coming up with that toast.
Mitch spoke up. ‘Can I put the toast on?’
‘Thanks, that would help. I’ll give the tiger a face wash.’ Swinging Jamie up into her arms, she winced as her back clicked.
‘He’s heavy for you.’ Mitch reached out to Jamie. ‘Hi, sport. Can I carry you to the bathroom?’
Jodi held her breath, certain that this gesture would lead to tears, if not tantrums.
Jamie jammed a thumb in his mouth, staring at Mitch warily. Then he nodded and held his free hand out to him. Stunned, Jodi handed him over to his father. ‘Guess I’m on toast duty, then.’
‘Ahh, are you sure? What if Jamie doesn’t like me washing him?’
‘Then I’ll be right with you. Coffee?’
When Jamie trotted out to join her a few minutes later Mitch was right behind him, a bewildered smile lighting up his face. ‘That was easy.’
Jodi handed him a mug of black coffee. ‘Beginner’s luck.’ But it warmed her heart that he’d done something for Jamie. The first hands-on thing and he’d come out of it with a smile. That had to be good. Didn’t it?
*
‘Now, about that breakfast.’ Mitch leaned against an impossibly small bench and eyeballed Jodi. ‘You could do with feeding up. I don’t believe you’ve had anything. Facing today on an empty stomach is not a good idea.’
‘I don’t want to carry a rubbish bin around with me either,’ she grumped as she elbowed him out of the way to make coffee.
‘If I cook it, will you at least try to eat a little?’ Mitch slid back against the bench. He wasn’t giving up on her that easily. ‘I’ll carry the bin.’
She glared up at him from under lowered eyebrows. ‘Persistent, aren’t you?’
‘That’s a yes, then.’ He ignored the flush spreading across her pale cheeks and delved through the two small cupboards to find a pan. ‘I can feel your eyes boring holes in my back.’ He unpacked the groceries, opened the packet of bacon.
‘Which part of no didn’t you understand?’
‘Which part of persistent don’t you?’ He turned around and was fixed with a look that told him to back off. A look distinctly lacking in humour. ‘Here’s the deal. I’ll cook some food and if you still don’t feel like eating then that’s okay with me.’
It wasn’t true but he wasn’t about to have a big argument over what she ate for breakfast. Somehow he doubted Jodi could take too much angst this morning, even if he was only doing it for her own good.
She dipped her head in acknowledgment. ‘Deal.’ Those brown orbs were filled with exhaustion, and behind that he saw her need for someone to take care of her, to stand at her side while she faced a new round of specialists today. A need she’d never in a month of birthdays admit to.
‘I’ve told my staff I might not be available for most of the day. I intend spending it with you while we talk to Lucas and anyone else he might refer Jamie to.’ Including Max. Damn it. He needed food in his stomach to manage that.
She didn’t move, didn’t say a word. But her gratitude was in the welling up of tears and the lightening of the brown of her eyes.
If only he could give her everything else she required as easily.
One step at a time, boyo. One step at a time.
*
Lucas Harrington turned out to be a genial man who immediately won Jodi over by simply spending time getting to know Jamie and putting him at ease. He acted as though he had all the time in the world for her little boy, and yet he had to be extremely busy. The examination he eventually gave Jamie was thorough and gentle.
Jodi nibbled her lip and watched Lucas’s face the whole time, looking for clues of what he thought. Not that she expected any nasty surprises: she’d already had them all. But worry held a permanent place in her head when it came to Jamie’s health.
Beside her, Mitch picked up her hand and held it in his. His thumb rubbed her wrist, softly, soothingly. When she dared to shift her vigil from Lucas to take a quick peek at Mitch she was surprised to find his eyes fixed on her, concern and care staring out at her. If only she’d had him beside her right from the beginning. It would’ve been so much better to have someone to share the burden, to talk about Jamie’s health and future. But that couldn’t be changed. She’d chosen not to tell him. And if he had known, it still wouldn’t have changed Jamie’s situation.
Mitch whispered, ‘Hang in there, Jodi. Jamie’s doing fine.’
‘He’s so brave.’ Her teeth nibbled her already tender bottom lip. ‘If only I could swap places with him. It’s so not fair.’
‘I think you’re very brave too. I’m only beginning to understand what it’s been like for you, and I’m probably so far off the mark but, hell, Jodi, you’re a marvel.’
‘I’m a mother. It comes with the territory. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.’
Understanding filled his gaze. His thumb stilled on her wrist. Then he lifted her hand and kissed her palm. ‘Thank you from me for Jamie.’
Shock rippled through her. What a difference thirty-six hours made. Mitch had gone from denial to acceptance that they had a child together. He’d made her breakfast—which seemed to be staying in place. Now he was sitting with her throughout their appointment, totally supportive. Blimey.
‘Right.’ Lucas’s deep voice blasted through her wonder. ‘Let’s get Jamie back into his tiger suit and then we’ll talk.’
With Jamie dressed and sitting on her knee, Jodi braced herself. She knew what was coming b
ut hearing it from this man would take away her last, futile grain of hope.
Lucas cleared his throat and looked at her. ‘I’ve read all the notes sent up by your specialists in Dunedin and I don’t see any reason to disagree with their prognosis.’
Her stomach churned. She tasted bacon at the back of her throat and not a rubbish bin in sight. In a strange, quivery voice she asked the specialist, ‘Are you going to run more tests?’
Mitch gripped her hand tight. She gripped back, probably crushing every bone in his.
‘I’m going to keep everything to a minimum. Jamie doesn’t need any more distress than is absolutely necessary,’ Lucas told them.
Jodi liked this gentle man even more.
Tapping his pen against the desk pad, he added, ‘But I can’t avoid all the tests, I’m afraid. We need to take some bloods.’ Tap, tap, tap. ‘We need to put him on stronger antibiotics too. I’m sure you’re aware of his temperature.’
‘That’s happened overnight,’ she told him. ‘Please, just tell me.’ Everything. Nothing. Make it all go away.
Lucas’s voice was very matter-of-fact. ‘Jamie does need a kidney transplant. Urgently.’
She knew that. Had heard it in Dunedin. That’s why they were here. But it still caused her breathing to cease, her heart to stop. The truth hurt, like a knife turning in her tummy. Shredding her to bits. Her boy was dying. Slowly, painfully. Horribly. And now she had to depend on someone else volunteering a kidney. Or, worse, another mother losing her child so Jamie could live. She opened her mouth to answer Lucas, but nothing came out. Not one word, not even a sound.
Mitch’s hand still held hers, but it was the specialist he spoke to. ‘Lucas, do you do the transplant surgery?’
‘No. As you are well aware, we have an excellent transplant team here, headed by none other than your brother. I’d prefer that Max does this.’
Beside her Mitch tensed, then shocked her with, ‘He is the best.’