by Sue MacKay
He didn’t say anything for a while. Nothing to say, she supposed. They were parents grappling with a huge problem and finding their way back to each other with all that was going on wouldn’t exactly be easy.
Finally Mitch asked, ‘How’s the dialysis going?’
‘Doing its job, thank goodness. With the cycler working overnight, hopefully Jamie will be feeling a lot better in the morning. But I never get used to this,’ she murmured. ‘No matter how many times we end up in hospital, every visit is as frightening as the first one.’ With her other hand she stroked Jamie’s arm. ‘Even with all the swelling he looks so small in this enormous bed. So frail. So darned ill.’ Tears pricked the backs of her eyelids and she squeezed tight to prevent them spilling down her face. She had to be strong for Jamie. It would never do for him to wake up and see her crying.
Mitch must have sensed her fragility because he wrapped his arms around her from behind, his hands meeting beneath her breasts and pulling her back against his waist. ‘Shh, you’re doing fine. Just fine. How the hell you’ve managed to stay sane this long I can’t begin to understand. I’m new to this and I’m already feeling wrecked.’
Sniff, sniff. Winding her hands around his, she told him, ‘Not a lot of choice. One of those situations that when faced with you get on and do what has to be done. And that’s another thing. There’s not much I can do for Jamie. As a doctor or as a mum. Some days I feel so utterly helpless.’
His chin dropped onto the top of her head. ‘Being a mum, being with him all the time, is the most important role. I’d bet anything that if you could ask Jamie he’d agree with me. Nothing, nobody, is as important to have around as your mum. Especially when life is going horribly pear-shaped. Believe me, I know.’
Was this the little boy whose mother died speaking here? ‘Thank you. I really needed to hear that.’ How had Mitch survived that shock and hurt? Even if his adoptive family had been kind and loving he’d have always carried a deep sense of loss. Even more because his twin had been taken away as well. Without thinking, she lifted his hand and kissed his palm.
He asked, ‘Want a break? Take a shower? Grab something to eat? I’ll sit with Jamie. The staff will page me if anything urgent comes up in ED.’
Shaking her head, ‘No, I don’t want to leave him in case he wakes. He’ll panic if I’m not here. I’m sorry, Mitch, but he’s not used to you yet. Not enough to be happy I’m not in sight when he wakes in a strange place anyway. Not that hospital is strange to him, I suppose.’
‘It’s okay, I get it.’
Leaning over the bed, she tucked Jamie’s blankie closer to his pillow so he could see it when he woke up. ‘Mind you, when he sees that teddy bear you brought him he might be more than happy for you to be with him.’ A tired chuckle escaped her. ‘I don’t suppose they had any small bears in that shop?’
‘Define small.’
‘Something not as tall as Jamie.’
‘Nope, not a one. Not a good-looking one, anyway.’ Mitch was studying her with a serious gleam in his eye.
‘What?’
‘You mightn’t want to leave Jamie but you do need to eat. I’ll go and get you something, plus some decent coffee.’
‘Thanks, but I’m not hungry.’
‘Jodi, you’ve got to eat. Look at you, fading away to nothing. I’m guessing that’s because your appetite goes every time Jamie has another serious bout of his cystinosis.’
‘I needed to lose weight.’ As much as ten kilos? None of her gorgeous clothes fit anymore. Not that she ever went out anywhere to wear them. At work she tended to stick to simple trousers and blouses. No point tarting herself up to be coughed or puked on.
‘I’m going to the café. Any preferences?’ When she shook her head he leaned closer. ‘I liked you exactly as you were. Your figure was fabulous. Not that it’s as important as what’s on the inside. And that’s fabulous too.’
By the time she’d dredged up a fitting retort Mitch had gone, leaving her to wonder what the hell was going on here. He was being so helpful and caring, supportive and bossy. Needed fattening up indeed.
Oh, okay. Fabulous on the inside. Wow. She could take as many compliments as Mitch wanted to dish out, but where did they come from? Why now and not when they had been together? Hugging herself, she enjoyed the warmth seeping through her.
Then her stomach rumbled and she had to concede another point. ‘I get the picture. I’m apparently hungry. I’ll do my best to eat whatever Mitch brings me.’
*
Mitch stood in the doorway to Jamie’s room with a pizza box in one hand and a soda can in the other. He was late back, having been called to the ED just as he’d stepped outside the hospital. A teenager who’d been huffing gas. God damn it, when were these kids going to learn they couldn’t abuse their bodies and keep getting away with it? It had been touch and go but, fingers crossed and with a lot of intensive medical care, the girl would make it through the night.
He studied Jodi. Quiet, slumped and yet very busy. Watching over her boy. Watching every breath he took. Observing the tubes putting goodies into him. Keeping a wary eye on the cycler that was emptying Jamie’s abdomen of wastes, chemicals and extra water. Hopefully reducing the fluid retention that made Jamie so bloated.
‘Ah, Jodi, sweetheart, you’re awesome.’ The words were so quiet even he didn’t really hear them. Which was just as well. He did not want to see the disbelief in her eyes if she’d overheard.
He’d swear that she’d breathe for Jamie if she could. She’d certainly stick the needles and tubes into her body if that would save Jamie any discomfort. A true mother. An extraordinary woman. But, then, he’d always known that. That’s why he’d been attracted to her.
Her looks and figure had drawn him first, but it had been her sense of joy—now missing—in everything, her love of life, the kindnesses and selflessness, her inner strength that had had him going back to her again and again for just one more date. That was what had stopped him leaving her after only a few weeks, as he’d done with all the other women he’d known. Before and after Jodi.
Jodi had set a benchmark that he’d not found since in any woman he’d taken out. Not that he’d been actively looking. Too busy avoiding staying around too long. Whereas Jodi had come from behind and slapped him on the head while he hadn’t been looking. Unfortunately he’d probably made the biggest mistake of his sorry life when he’d let her get away. He hadn’t recognised the emotion he’d felt for her that had churned through him as love. Plain and simple. Love. Complex and distracting. He hadn’t wanted to be distracted from his game plan of getting the top job in his chosen path. A little longer and he’d have had it all.
Talk about dumb. And now it was too late. He couldn’t make up for not being there during Jamie’s illnesses. Even if Jodi hadn’t given him the opportunity, he had to take the blame. It had been his ho-hum attitude to their relationship that had had her packing his bags. His lack of commitment that had prevented her telling him he was a father. Because, to her, he was as irresponsible as her own father. How stupid could a bloke be?
‘Is that real coffee I can smell?’ the woman who had his hormones and emotions on a roller-coaster ride asked.
‘Sure is. And a pepperoni and triple-cheese pizza.’
‘Very tempting.’ Her eyes gleamed with gratitude, making him feel pleased he’d done something right for her. And then her tongue licked the corner of her mouth and he tripped over his own feet as he crossed to the bed.
More than his feet were having difficulty ignoring that gesture. South of his belt his maleness sat up, so aware of her it frightened him. Definitely not the time or place to be thinking anything sexual. That tongue flick must’ve been a subconscious move on Jodi’s part, surely? She didn’t look at all interested in anything but her coffee.
Guess it was good one of them had their priorities right.
‘Hey, hope I’m not intruding?’ Carl hovered in the door. ‘Came to see how the little guy was doing.�
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‘You didn’t bring the film crew with you?’
‘Everyone’s taking a break.’ Carl gave an easy smile. ‘Even we’re learning to grab five when it’s quiet.’
Jodi was watching Carl, caution tightening her mouth. ‘You’re one of the TV crew members? Is that why you were in the ED?’
Mitch made the introduction. ‘Carl is in charge of the crews and does all the planning required.’
Carl stretched a hand in Jodi’s direction. ‘You’re Mitch’s wife?’ In the silence that followed only Carl looked totally comfortable. ‘Partner?’
Jodi shrugged and sucked a breath through her teeth. ‘We’re Jamie’s parents.’
Mitch gave the guy credit for not making any ridiculously obvious comments, instead shifting along the bed to look down at Jamie. ‘How’s he doing? Better than when you first brought him in, I hope.’
Jodi answered. ‘Dialysis makes him more comfortable but the catheter irritates his tummy, which he hates. He’s always weary. His day is filled with short naps.’
‘What’s the treatment for—what was it—cystinosis?’
‘Yes, cystinosis. Jamie gets regular dialysis to remove all the poisons and waste that kidneys do in healthy people. Long term?’ Jodi stared at Carl, drilling him with her dark eyes. ‘We wait for a kidney to become available.’
‘That’s all we can do,’ Mitch added, to forestall the questions that smart brain opposite him was coming up with. Give Carl time and he’d know all there was to know about Jamie’s condition and the odds on a kidney becoming available. He’d research everything and learn that the head of the department he was filming in had to be the most likely donor. Then try keeping the guy and his cameras away. ‘Impossible situation,’ he muttered.
‘I can see that it is.’ Carl looked pensive, craftily hiding the questions that had to be popping up.
‘So you can see why I’m not interested in you filming Jamie. This is too traumatic for him as it is.’
‘What’s this?’ Jodi reared up. ‘What are you talking about? Filming?’
Carl spoke quickly. ‘Wait. Don’t jump to conclusions. Mitch knows I’m looking for one case coming from his department that I can follow through on. You know, the patient moving from the emergency department to a ward and then the treatment they receive, whether it’s surgery or cardiac intervention. Whatever.’
‘And you think Jamie is the perfect choice?’ Jodi whispered.
‘Truthfully? Yes, I do. It is a great human-interest story. But…’ he held his hand up as Jodi’s mouth opened ‘…I have a daughter about Jamie’s age and I doubt I’d want me poking a camera in her face to make a documentary. So, good television or not, I’m not going to ask you to allow my crews near your son. Unless you change your mind, of course.’ He turned to Mitch.
‘Not likely.’
‘It could help with making people aware of donating their organs,’ Jodi commented thoughtfully, chewing at her fingernail and watching Carl with a more cautious gaze now.
Shocked, Mitch could only stare at her.
‘Exactly.’ Carl studied her back, trying to fathom where she was going with this.
Jodi looked too damned thoughtful. ‘A lot of people indicate they want to be a donor, go to the trouble of registering the fact on their motor-vehicle licence, only to have family members refuse to follow their loved one’s wishes.’
Carl sat on the end of Jamie’s bed, careful not to disturb the sleeping boy. ‘Not many people realise that small children are the recipients of a lot of these organs. I believe if we can show that then the donor numbers will rise significantly.’
Forget this guy going to do his research. He’d already done it. ‘Leave it, Carl. Jodi has a lot to deal with already, without having cameras in her face.’
‘To a certain extent I agree. But I’ll leave it with you.’ Carl nodded at the box Mitch had forgotten was in his hands. ‘That pizza’s getting cold.’
What he hadn’t forgotten was the result of the blood-group test he’d had done that afternoon on the spur of the moment. Just in case he did decide to look more seriously at donating a kidney. It would be silly to put himself through making that decision only to find his blood group was no use to Jamie.
The result had told him he was Type O. Perfectly compatible with Jamie’s Type A.
But it was too soon to tell Jodi. No point in getting her hopes up until he knew for sure what he would do.
CHAPTER EIGHT
JODI COULD FEEL Mitch beside her, fuming at his brother as the whole transplant team crowded around Jamie’s bed, talking and reading notes. Overkill, surely? She’d have been happy to talk to Carleen Murphy. Or Max. Just not the whole bang lot of them. Even Lucas had turned up. They had Jamie’s interests at heart but didn’t they understand how terrifying this was for the little guy?
And while Mitch was fuming, Jamie was fretting. The corner of his blankie was stuffed in his mouth, slobber soaking the thick fabric. Tears streaked his pale cheeks. The shock of his admittance and then being put on dialysis had taken its toll on her boy. Leaning closer, she ran her hand over his head, and gave him a wink. ‘Hey, Jamie, love, Mummy’s here.’
‘Want to go home,’ he hiccupped, his eyes wide as he tried to beguile her into taking him out of there, away to where it was quiet and nice, not noisy and scary, not hurting.
‘Not yet, sweetheart. These people are going to make you better.’
When the bewilderment filtered into his eyes she felt bad. Lying to her son had become a habit. Even Jamie understood that these people might not make him better. No other doctor had fixed him. When kids were seriously ill they seemed to mature so much in some aspects of their lives. There was no fooling Jamie that his body was improving.
But she could do something for him. Straightening her spine, she took her despair out on those who might understand it. ‘If you’re all going to hang around discussing Jamie’s problems then you can at least sit down. You’re huge from his perspective. Intimidating and scary,’ she snapped.
‘There aren’t enough chairs to go round,’ someone, she didn’t know who, muttered.
He could go. She didn’t need anyone on the team who couldn’t see this from Jamie’s point of view. ‘Find some or leave.’
One of Max’s eyebrows rose disconcertingly but there was a hint of approval in his gaze before he turned to a hovering nurse and flashed his charming smile. ‘Find some more chairs, please, Charmaine.’
The nurse smiled ever so sweetly before dashing off to do Max’s biding.
Ignoring the byplay, Jodi sighed. Was she overreacting? Damn right she was. This was her baby. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, Mitch had been fuming quietly from the moment Max had walked in and said something to him. What, she didn’t have a clue. When would these two get over their differences and act like family? They didn’t have anyone else. Surely they needed each other?
Her eyes returned to Jamie. He was their family too, damn it. Mitch’s son. Max’s nephew. Family. Like it or not. ‘Max…’ She curled her forefinger to beckon him close. Thankfully he joined her and Mitch, otherwise she didn’t know what she’d have done. Probably shouted at them, turning the ward into a zoo.
Keeping her voice low, she said, ‘This is not an ideal situation for you both, but I don’t care. This is about Jamie and not whatever you two have going on.’ She stabbed the air between them and growled, ‘Bury it while we make Jamie better. Nothing else matters at all.’ Her finger hit Mitch’s chest. ‘Your son.’ Then Max’s arm. ‘Your nephew.’
Sinking back into her chair, she returned her focus to Jamie, feeling uncomfortable. Had that been wise? Had she gone too far? Probably. But she was allowed to. She was a mother.
*
Mitch studied Max, trying to really see him, to see past all their angst. This was the man Mitch always wanted to outdo, and yet now he was about to rely on him for the biggest dilemma of his life. Jodi was right. He knew that. But there was too much history betwee
n him and his brother just to bury it in an instant. He’d spent his life being told that if he wanted to get ahead he had to do better than Max. And because the relatives that had adopted him were dirt poor he’d felt justified in proving to them they were right to believe in him and that he didn’t need the wealth Max had lucked into.
What if Max had been fed the same line of rubbish about him? It was something to consider. But not now. Today was about Jamie, not them. If he couldn’t at least talk to Max for the duration of Jamie’s treatment then he had to leave now, head to Sydney on the next flight and never look back.
Sucking in his gut, he met Max’s eyes and stuck out his hand. ‘Let’s put aside everything other than Jamie for as long as this takes. I want to be able to talk to you or your team at any time about anything and know I’m not having to worry about other issues.’
Max stood ramrod straight, his mouth tight as he stared back. The silence was laden with all the arguments and rivalry of their past. All the current angst and dislike. Then he shoved his hand into Mitch’s and they shook. ‘Fair enough.’
Mitch felt his twin’s warmth through their grasp, and was staggered at the sense of need that assailed him. When had he last touched Max? What would it be like to be able to walk up to him and ask how his day was going? To pick up a phone and suggest a drink at the pub?
Then the surrounding silence trickled into his brain and he looked around to find everyone watching him and Max. Max must’ve noticed at the same moment because he tugged his hand free and stepped back. But that severe look Max reserved entirely for him had lightened a little.
Ignoring everyone, Max dropped his gaze to Jamie and his countenance softened further. His chin moved down and up in agreement. ‘I still can’t get my head around the fact I’m an uncle.’ Turning a gaze filled with something like need to Mitch, he added, ‘Ask me anything you want. I’ll always tell you exactly what’s going on and where we are at.’