by Sue MacKay
Closing his eyes, he counted to ten, twenty, thirty. Finally his breath eased out and his muscles loosened up a little. ‘Here, you’re dry. Get some clothes on, will you?’
She didn’t have to give him that wicked smirk as she opened her bag to find something clean to wear. Bloody woman, she’d be the death of him. She tugged on underwear and a T-shirt that only came down to mid-thigh—and ramped up his heart rate dangerously high.
Now that he’d made love with her he knew he wanted it again and again. Once was not enough. Jodi was back in his life in another way now. This was one way he knew her well, what he’d missed so much, and wanted for the future.
His head reared up. The future? With Jodi? Yeah, well, weren’t you getting to that? Hasn’t the idea been flapping around in your brain for days now? As the shock of learning about Jamie has ebbed you’ve been more and more aware of Jodi as the woman you once loved.
Food for thought.
‘Time for that chicken,’ he muttered, trying desperately to get back on track.
Jodi looked up at him from under her eyelashes and swayed some more. ‘Think I’ll have a snooze first.’
‘Yes, you’re asleep on your feet, sweetheart.’
Her eyes widened at that but for once she remained quiet. Not having second thoughts, he hoped. Tugging down the covers, he said, ‘Come on. Climb in.’
‘Mitch,’ she murmured as she snuggled down.
‘Ye-es.’
‘We’ve still got what it takes, haven’t we?’ Her eyes closed and he’d swear she’d fallen asleep on her last word.
‘Yes, sweetheart, we have.’ He brushed a kiss on her forehead and tucked the sheet under her chin. Then crept out of the on-call room and went to sit with his son.
CHAPTER NINE
THE FOLLOWING AFTERNOON in the ED Mitch gently felt along Mark Williams’s arm. ‘Any pain where I’m touching?’
The fifteen-year-old nodded. ‘Hurts like stink everywhere. That prop was a big guy.’
‘You’re no midget yourself.’ Mitch gave the mud-covered lad a smile. ‘Did his head crash into you or his shoulder?’ Not that it mattered. The damage was done.
‘Think it was his head, but then his whole body slammed on top of me as I went down. Pow. But I got the try.’ Mark grinned despite his obvious pain.
‘Good for you. Hope your team wins and makes the mess you’ve got yourself into worthwhile.’ Mitch filled out a form requesting X-rays of Mark’s humerus and ribs.
‘Inter-school rugby matches tend to be physical,’ Carl said from the corner.
‘All rugby is physical,’ Mitch muttered. ‘Hang around here on the weekend and see how many bodies we get to patch up.’
‘Am I going to be on TV?’ Mark grinned at the camera being directed his way.
‘You might,’ answered Carl. ‘Depends on the editing process and what other cases we get over the next couple of days.’
Mitch pulled in a lungful of air. Yeah, focus on Mark and forget all about Jamie.
‘Cool,’ Mark said. ‘Wait till I tell my mates. They’ll be green.’ Then he jerked round to offer a better profile to the camera and groaned in pain.
‘Take it easy. You have some broken bones that won’t take kindly to sudden movement.’ Mitch carefully pressed the boy back against his pillow and glanced across to Samantha. ‘Can you arrange for an orderly to take Mark up to Radiology, please?’
Mitch headed to the station where he picked up the next patient file. Turning, he almost bumped into Carl. ‘See, plenty of willing patients for you and your crews to make an excellent documentary about.’
‘You’re right. Mark’s rugby accident will resonate with many teenage boys and their parents.’ Carl’s gaze was steady. ‘But nothing like the human-interest story we could have about the head of this department and his very ill son.’
Mitch bit down on an expletive. He still couldn’t get used to other people knowing he was a father when a week ago he’d been blissfully unaware himself. At least no one knew that. They might be wondering, since he’d never mentioned his son, and he could almost hear the debates going on about the situation, but he’d leave them to it. He wasn’t about to make an announcement to all and sundry that he’d never been told he was a father.
In the meantime Carl was standing there, expecting an answer to his ridiculous suggestion. ‘No.’
‘So it’s all right for us to interview your patients but not all right to interview you as a parent of one of your patients?’
‘You’ve got it in one.’ This guy wasn’t going to pull the guilt flag on him. He would protect Jamie, and Jodi for that matter, from all the publicity this man’s documentary would generate.
Carl shrugged. ‘Believe me, I do understand. As I said, if my daughter was going through what Jamie is I don’t know how I’d react to a request like mine.’
‘Good, then we understand each other.’ Mitch pushed past him, on his way to examine Jocelyn Crooks, who’d apparently been found an hour ago lying on her bathroom floor in a dazed state. ‘Anyway, Jamie is no longer a patient in this department.’ Just so the guy really got it.
‘You know my thinking about that.’ Of course Carl was right behind him.
‘Right from that very first conversation you and I had about your crews coming in here we established that any patient uncomfortable with your presence could request that they be left alone. As a parent I’m exercising that right for Jamie. Leave him be. He and his mother have got more than enough to deal with.’ He snapped his mouth shut, his teeth banging together hard enough to vibrate in his ears.
‘We’ll talk some more later on.’ Carl was so damned calm, so sure of himself.
Whereas he could feel his blood heating to boiling point. But he couldn’t lay the blame on Carl. The man was doing his job while he himself was struggling to deal with absolutely everything at the moment. What had happened to his busy but orderly life? Jodi Hawke had happened, that’s what. Instantly his temper eased. Jodi. Jodi had come to town. And turned his life around. And given meaning to his existence. And woken his heart up, as she had once before.
Surely this time he could manage to do things the right way and not lose her again. Because if Jodi walked out on him a second time he doubted he’d cope half as well as last time, and he’d barely managed then.
Chas poked his head around the cubicle curtain. ‘Rescue Helicopter One on way in from Waiheke Island. Touchdown in ten minutes. Sixty-three-year-old male, chainsaw accident, partially severed leg.’
Mitch looked up from reading Jocelyn Crooks’s obs. ‘Get the on-call general surgeon on the phone. Call the blood bank and have someone on hand for an urgent crossmatch. Let me know the moment the patient is here.’
He glanced across at Carl and saw the guy go grey. ‘This one will be messy. If you or your crew can’t deal with that, please stay well away.’ His staff would have enough to deal with without having to pick up fainting sightseers.
‘I’ll talk to the cameraman now.’ Carl pushed out of the cubicle.
Mitch called after him, ‘This could be a good one to follow up on if the man’s agreeable. You’d probably get the Department of Occupational Health and Safety to come on board too.’
Carl turned to shake his head at him. ‘Nice try.’
I thought so. Mitch turned back to his middle-aged patient. ‘Now, Jocelyn, has this happened to you before?’ Pretty much everything was normal, including her blood pressure.
‘Never.’
‘Do you remember what you were doing before you ended up on the floor?’
Jocelyn looked away. ‘No.’
Okay, what was going on here? ‘Were you alone?’
‘I think so.’
‘Drinking alcohol?’
She muttered, ‘I only had a couple.’
‘I see you’re on codeine. Alcohol and codeine don’t mix.’ Why didn’t people adhere to the warnings that came with their drugs? Mitch wanted to lecture the woman but what was the point? If
this incident hadn’t taught her anything then nothing he could say would have any effect.
Sam arrived with an intern in tow. ‘Patient’s being brought down from the helipad. Rob will take over here for you.’
Mitch filled Rob in on the few details he had about Jocelyn then headed for the chainsaw patient, rolling his tight shoulders. He really needed to go for a run sometime soon. He’d been missing a few of those since Jodi had turned up.
A nurse called from the desk. ‘Mitch, Radiology on the phone. You’re late for your appointment.’
His chest X-ray. Damn it. ‘Can you get me another time, Sheryl? I can’t get away right now. But not tomorrow morning.’ He was having an arteriogram done on his kidneys then. And he used to think he had a busy life before.
*
‘Is it really Friday already?’ Jodi stirred sugar into her coffee. Round and round and round.
Until Mitch reached for her hand, effectively stopping the movement. Removing the teaspoon from her grip and putting it on Jamie’s bedside table, he said, ‘All day.’
‘One day looks exactly the same as the next, or the last one. Except Jamie sometimes looks a little bit better, then he looks terrible and so sick. And then…’ Her voice faded away and her teeth nibbled her lip. The continuous rounds of dialysis were distressing for Jamie, even though they did make him feel less sluggish and took away that horrible bloating.
‘Lucas said Jamie’s got an infection around the catheter site.’ Worry deepened Mitch’s voice.
‘A small one. At this stage.’ Any infection was too much. Another problem to be dealt with, more drugs to be pumped into Jamie’s body.
And suddenly the tears started. She tried to stop them but how did anyone stop a torrential flood? It was one that had been building up for days, beating at her eyelids to be freed, only held in place by all the willpower she could muster through her fading strength. She’d been determined not to show Mitch any weakness, and afraid that she would never get back up if she gave in to this gripping worry and fear.
Falling forward, she rested her head on the edge of Jamie’s bed and gave in, no longer able to fight her grief, her anger, her sense of failure for not being able to do more for Jamie. Throw in the guilt for not telling Mitch about Jamie sooner. What a bloody mess.
Mitch lifted her into his arms, holding her as though she was made of spun sugar. Taking her place on the chair, he sat her on his lap. ‘Let it go, Jodi,’ he whispered. One hand stroked her back, the other cupped her head to tuck her under his chin. ‘You’ve got to let it all out, sweetheart. It’s eating you up.’
If only he knew the half of it. How bad she felt about the way she’d treated him. ‘I—I’m sorry,’ she tried around the lump clogging her throat. ‘For everything.’
‘Hey, come on. Two can play that game. I could’ve come home more regularly, been more attentive, come begging you for another chance. So I’m sorry, too. Okay?’
‘But—’
‘But nothing.’ His chin rested on the top of her head. ‘You’re here now. We’re in this together, no matter what. That’s our boy lying there and we’ll do all we can for him. And we’ll talk over everything, any time.’
‘That feels good, really good.’ To have someone with a vested interest to share all the horrible medical facts with, to watch over Jamie with, would make a huge difference to her coping mechanism. ‘A new beginning.’
Under her cheek Mitch’s chest rose high, dropped back. Did Mitch realise his shirt and suit jacket were getting soaked?
‘Something like that. New, but different.’
Pulling her head from under his chin, she twisted round to look him in the eye. ‘I like that.’ She especially liked what they’d done together in the on-call room yesterday. Maybe she could take a shower every couple of hours.
‘I passed Max on the way to the canteen earlier. He asked how Jamie was doing. Said he’s getting everything in place in case a kidney becomes available.’
They knew he would. The man wasn’t going to play games with something this serious. The stream of tears slowed to a trickle as she shook her head. ‘Can’t do better than Max.’
‘You’re right.’ Not even a hint of the old angst lined Mitch’s words. Blimey.
She settled back against that wide expanse of chest. A great place to be—warm and comforting. And the hand still soothing her back brought other memories back. The day she’d had to have her very old cat put down, Mitch had come home early to be with her. He’d held her just like this until the tears had dried up and then taken her to bed and made exquisite love to her to blot out the sadness for a while. And afterwards he’d gone into town to get a miniature rose bush to plant on her cat’s grave.
The rose bush she had pruned every year and remembered the cat, deliberately shoving aside all thoughts of Mitch. How could she have been so single-minded about him? Why hadn’t she wanted to recall all the wonderful times they’d had together? Ashamed, she craned her neck and placed her mouth on Mitch’s. ‘Thank you for being you.’
He shifted his mouth to cover hers fully. His arms wound around her, like a safety net, only this time there was an exciting kind of danger in their hold as well. As though there might yet be something for her, for them, if they could only step cautiously and carefully through the minefield they found themselves in.
‘A very salty kiss,’ Mitch murmured against her mouth. When she made to pull back he added, ‘I like salt. Don’t you remember?’
‘On your fish and chips, yes, but—’
‘Shh, you talk too much.’ And his lips covered hers again, shutting off anything she might say.
She’d missed this. Lots. Slipping her tongue cautiously into his mouth to find his, to taste him, she felt the mistake she’d made when she’d kicked him out of her life. How could she have given this up? Must have been on something toxic. Because no one in their right mind would deliberately banish from their life a man who could kiss so superbly.
Mitch’s hands had somehow worked under her top onto her waist, holding her against his body. Each fingertip scorched her skin, sending out lines of hot desire, filling her body with a longing so strong she shook. Pressing her breasts hard against him, she revelled in the feel of his rapidly rising and falling chest. Her fingers slid through that thick, dark hair, walked over his scalp. And still she wanted more.
Under her backside Mitch’s growing need was becoming more apparent. She wriggled and he gasped. Pulling his mouth away, he stared at her from lust-filled eyes. ‘Wrong place, I think.’
Heat seared her cheeks as she abruptly returned to reality. Hurriedly standing up, she turned round and smoothed her top down over her bony hips. ‘You’re right. I don’t know what came over me.’
‘That’s a shame.’
Snapping her head round, she was confronted with Mitch’s wide grin as he stood up. Sighing out a laugh, she told him, ‘Thank goodness no one caught us.’
His grin disappeared. ‘Would that bother you?’
How the heck did she know? It was too soon. There were too many problems facing them. ‘If I think about it, it probably does.’
He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. ‘Then don’t overthink it.’ Then he was gone, striding out of the room as fast as those long legs could take him.
Picking up the coffee from where she’d put it earlier, she took a sip and shuddered. Cold. She’d get another one. Jamie was still asleep. He wouldn’t notice her absence if she was quick.
But she stayed by the bed, staring down at her son, not seeing him. Instead seeing the older version of those blue eyes and dark hair, smelling the pine and spice aftershave that his dad wore, feeling the ripple of well-developed chest muscles under her cheek.
What had she started when she’d called Mitch into the shower yesterday? A rerun of an old, not-so-good relationship? Or a new version of that, with more honesty and understanding to help it along? They’d talked more in these few days about real things concerning both of them t
han they had in six months when they’d been together.
Did she want to get back with Mitch? There’d been as many good times as bad, she realised now that she’d let all the memories in and not just selective ones. But if they had any hope of making a success of being together again, they had a lot of things to clear up first.
And before any of that Jamie had to have his transplant and get well.
And she still didn’t know how Mitch felt about donating a kidney. Did she have the right to even ask?
How would I have felt in the situation? Truthfully? I’d hate for someone to tell me that.
But Jamie’s nephrologist in Dunedin had done exactly that and she hadn’t taken offence. It had been a professional move, not an involved, emotional one. Unfortunately the nephrotic syndrome she’d suffered from as a youngster had precluded her being able to give a kidney to Jamie.
No, whatever was going on between her and Mitch did not give her permission to back him into a corner over a very personal decision. She had to wait. Best to hold off on any more of those kisses, then. No more sex in the shower, or anywhere else. Because of the way her body melted when his lips devoured hers, the chances of her brain remaining in good working order were next to none. And then she’d surely spill the words he and she wouldn’t want hanging between them.
*
‘Guess we’d better get back to the hospital and relieve Alison,’ Mitch murmured against Jodi’s throat. It would be so much better to curl his body around Jodi’s and hold her throughout the night while she got some sleep. Okay, not only sleep. He wouldn’t be able to refrain from making out with her again. His body was warm and languid right now after making love but it wouldn’t be long before everything was up and about, wanting more action.
‘Mum did say to take as long as we wanted.’ Jodi laughed.
He loved it when she laughed. ‘But even she knows dinner only involves a couple of hours. Coming back to the house has stretched those into half the night.’