“And now?” Jack asked.
“Now? I live my life. I try to not think of my parents or brothers in prison. I go to work and help other women, so that at the end of the day, I can look at myself in the mirror and see Agatha Christel, not the daughter of monsters.”
Jack pressed on, “What do you know of Gavrill Volkov?”
For the first time, she blinked, startled with the question. “Gavrill? He’s my mother’s cousin. I know he’s powerful…runs a large shipping business from Norfolk. When Nathan mentioned you guys were going there, I’ll admit, it freaked me out that you might be dealing with him in some way. My mother always spoke of him in reverent terms, almost like he was a god. When she was angry with my father or brothers, she would remind them of her connection with him.”
“You mentioned him taking the girls. What can you tell us about that?”
Sucking in her lips, she winced. “Uh…well, I heard that he would take the older girls, the ones Lazlo used to hatefully say were…” She fought the bile threatening to rise in her throat, “ ‘used up’.” A visible shiver crossed her body and she clenched her hands tighter and tighter together, until she thought her fingers would crack.
“I assume he would transfer them overseas to whatever horrible destination lay in wait for them. I based my plan on that concept, knowing that even if he were pissed at my family for costing him money, he would agree to the disposal of the bodies.”
The room was deathly quiet, the ticking of the clock the only sound heard. Exhausted, she felt cold and longed to run away to hide once more. Feeling a squeeze, she looked down, seeing Nathan’s hand still holding on to her gripped hands.
Swallowing deeply once more, she said, “I have no idea what case you’re working on, but I need to talk to Harlan. I need to leave here and may, perhaps, need to assume a new identity. He’ll know how to help me…he would want to help me.”
The air in the room changed, electricity filling the space between the occupants. She noticed it but did not understand the reason.
Nathan’s grip became tighter and he wrapped his other arm around Agatha’s shoulders. His heart pounded and uncertainty filled him as he looked over at Jack, whose gaze was fixed on her.
Jack finally spoke, “Agatha, our job was you. To locate you, which we were unable to do since your new identity was so superbly arranged. But, we needed to find you…to protect you.”
“Protect me? From what?” Her gaze jumped to his, confusion on her face.
“We’re not sure, but are fairly certain that someone is after you. Our assumption is that it is Gavrill Volkov—”
Her gasp caused him to halt for a few seconds before continuing. “It appears that he is looking for retaliation for being caught in your family’s raid and ending up in prison.”
Her wide eyes showed fright and she croaked, “I need to talk to Harlan. Please let me call him.”
“Aggie,” Nathan said, his heart aching.
At the sound of her nickname from his lips, Agatha jerked her head around, finding him staring at her, sympathy in his eyes. “What is it?” she whispered, her voice barely heard.
He held her gaze and said, “Harlan is…I’m so sorry, Aggie, but he’s dead.”
She leapt to her feet, a scream tearing from her chest. Wild-eyed, her gaze jerking around to the Saints in the room, she backed away a few steps, crying, “No, no, no.”
Nathan followed her up, the sound of her scream still ringing in his ears, and moved forward, his hands out in front of him. “Aggie, come on babe. It’s gonna be okay, I promise.”
Not hearing him, or unable to, she continued to shake her head in agony, still crying “No,” over and over.
He advanced another step but she backed away from him. The other Saints had risen to their feet as well, their faces marred with concern, tension flowing from them.
Agatha threw up one hand as to fend off the wall of testosterone in the room. Her eyes unseeing, she reacted instinctively, doing everything she could to keep space between her and Nathan, who was slowly advancing on her.
“Take it easy, man.” Blaise said, his voice soft. “Give her some space.”
“Fuck that,” Nathan said under his breath, “she’s had enough of being on her own.”
Ignoring the people in the room, she wrapped her arms around her middle, squeezing tightly, feeling the blood rushing from her head, making her woozy. All thoughts fled her mind, other than the desperate realization that she was all alone in the world, the one person who had saved her and risked so much was dead. Her chin dropped, the weight of the world bearing down upon her, another sob ripping from her chest.
“Aggie,” Nathan said again, his voice as gentle as he would use to speak to a skittish, rescue dog. “Please, babe, come here.”
Through tears, she managed to ask, “How did he die?”
No one spoke and she lifted her hand to swipe at her tears still falling. Her stare penetrated each Saint as she gazed from one to the next. Not stopping on Nathan’s face, she settled onto Jack’s. “Tell me. Tell me how he died. He was fine the last time I talked with him.”
Nathan, not taking his eyes off her, warned, “Jack.”
“She’s got to know.”
Before he could protest again, she screamed, “Tell me!”
Charlie’s eyes filled with tears as Luke pulled her closer. The others’ faces were carved in stone, but frustration and anger filled their eyes.
Jack finally offered, “Ms. Christel, I’m sorry…he was murdered. It looked like an assassination…a hit that was ordered. The FBI are investigating, but have not made an arrest yet. They suspect Russian mafia.”
What little blood was left in her face drained away. Gasping, she began chanting, “No, no, no,” as she stumbled further away until her back hit the wall.
Nathan stepped forward again, his hands out, and said, “I promise…promise you’re safe.”
“You promise? Are you crazy?” Her eyes were still wide and wild, but now focused on his face, before she slumped to the floor, her legs no longer able to hold her upright. “Nobody can keep me safe. And don’t you see? If someone does try, they’ll get to them. Harlan promised.” Another sob caused her to hiccup, but she kept going. “He promised I’d be safe…and look what happened to him!”
20
Cold…to her bones. Curled up on one end of the sofa in the now empty room, a blanket draped over her, Agatha shivered. The Saints had moved to the kitchen, but she could still hear their low voices, murmuring amongst themselves. For the past hour, she lay, weary but not sleeping, listening to them discuss her situation. Situation. She wanted to laugh out loud at the ludicrous description of someone killing her rescuer and now wanting to kill her.
Suddenly, a woman was kneeling in front of her, but her eyes refused to focus.
“Agatha? Sweetie, do you remember me? I’m Miriam…Cam’s wife. I’m also a nurse. I want to take a look at you, okay? Will that be okay?”
She felt her arm being pulled from the blanket and, as though viewing the scene from above, she watched the dark-haired beauty take her pulse. She felt a blood pressure cuff expand but did not remember it being placed on her arm. Closing her eyes, she hoped that she could wake and the nightmare would be over. It’ll never be over.
“What was that, Agatha? What’ll never be over?” Miriam asked.
Realizing she must have spoken her thoughts aloud, she kept her eyes closed, not wanting to see the sympathy…or disgust, on the kind woman’s face.
She felt a gentle hand brush her hair back from her face. She remembered her mother’s hand on her face when she was ill as a child, singing a Russian lullaby to help her sleep. Before…long before her life fell apart. Now her mother was in prison…by my hand. And the man who saved me is dead…killed in retaliation.
Miriam moved away from Agatha and walked into the kitchen where everyone was gathered. Bethany, awakened by the screams, had come down and insisted on making coffee for everyone.
Leaning her weight onto Cam’s sturdy body, she waved him off, “It was no problem. We live so close to both our families that my mom was more than happy to come stay in the house with the kids. I doubt they’ll even wake up, but she’s there.”
Nathan, his heart in his throat, asked, “And…Aggie?”
Sighing, Miriam said, “Her blood pressure is actually low and so is her heartbeat. She needs rest for now—”
“I’d like to go home, please. Can someone take me back to the center?”
Agatha’s robotic words came from the living room where she was now standing, the blanket still wrapped around her shoulders. Nathan broke away from the others, walking slowly to her side, not wanting to startle her, and grateful when she did not pull away.
“Babe, as soon as I find out what Jack’s plan is, I’ll take you back to my home—”
“No,” she said, her voice firmer than she looked like she felt.
“Babe—”
“No, Nathan. No ‘babe’ and no to your home.” She dragged her gaze to his face and shook her head. “You were right to be angry earlier. I recognized you right away, when you first came to the center, and didn’t say anything, so what we had was built on a lie. And, I don’t want to be at your cabin, hiding away. I have a job to do and need to get back to it.”
“Agatha,” Jack began, “we need to provide security for you while we work to find a connection between Gavrill and the threat on you.”
“Can that be done at the center? All the cameras and alarms you all installed are secure, right? So I should be safe.”
Sighing, Jack nodded, “Yes, we’ll have eyes on you.”
“Jack,” Nathan began to protest.
“Nathan,” she called, her voice low and laced with sadness. Lifting her hand to his arm, she said, “I want to go. I need to go.”
“Aggie, please. You’ve been through a lot in a short amount of time. You need rest. You need a chance to—”
“I need a chance to grieve,” she cut in. Sucking in a deep breath, she slid the blanket off her shoulders and folded it neatly, her movements slow and measured. Turning to face the gathering, she looked each one in the eye, her calm façade sliding back into place. “Thank you for your care and I’m very sorry for all the trouble you’re going through. I can’t repay the costs for your protection, but I’ll accept whatever you can offer just the same. I’m not stupid. I know I need it.”
Jack stepped forward, his eyes kind as they rested on her. “Agatha, I’ll have Nathan take you back to the center tonight. First thing in the morning the Saints will be working to see if we can determine how to neutralize the threat against you.”
“Mr. Bryant, if the threat is coming from Gavrill, then the only way you’ll get the connection is if he tries to get at me. Even in prison, he has a long arm. I trust in your protection, but you won’t get him if I hide away.”
Nathan, stunned silent, realized she was offering herself as bait. He placed his arm around her stiff shoulders, pulling her into his side.
“I promise, Agatha, you’ll be safe with us,” Jack said, his eyes gleaming with a firmness she clearly understood.
Nodding her thanks, she stiffened, but accepted a hug from Bethany and Miriam before turning to walk toward the front door. Halting suddenly, she turned back and faced the crowd. With her hands clasped together in front of her, she swallowed deeply. “I really am sorry…about my family.”
“You can’t help the family you were born into,” Nathan assured, stepping close.
As his eyes penetrated the cold she felt around her heart, Agatha pinched her lips together.
“Agatha,” Jack called out, pulling her eyes to his. “None of us are responsible for the actions of anyone other than ourselves. You are not your family. You are you. Agnes…or Agatha…you are you. And that’s someone the Saints are proud to serve.”
Unable to keep a tear from sliding down her cheek, she nodded stiffly, turned and walked out the front door with Nathan’s arm around her shoulders.
The drive in the wee hours of the morning was silent, each lost to their own thoughts. Finally, Nathan broke the quiet, saying, “I thought about you. A lot. Over the past two years. While your face was always in the shadows, I could see you in my dreams. The last view I had of you was your face pressed to the glass of the SUV as you were driven away. I carried that vision with me always.”
She listened, but did not respond. She was all talked out, no words forthcoming.
“The Saints’ women would sometimes try to set me up with a friend of theirs, but I was never interested.”
She considered all the women who would have been interested in this handsome man, with quiet strength, and wondered why he never went for one of them.
“Bart once told me that it takes a special woman to capture the eye of a Saint. Said we’re wired differently. I didn’t see myself as one of them for a long time…they seemed bigger than life and I felt like the odd one out. But, coming together to find you has made me see that I am one of them. And he was right…no ordinary woman would do. But you…your strength…the lengths you went to protect yourself and, then, protect all those women. I’m in awe of that strength.”
She turned her head to look out her window, the heat of his eyes, gazing intently at her, too hot for her to endure.
“But, I figured I would never have a chance to see you again. I assumed you went into witness protection and were long gone. I began to give up the idea that I might see you again, tried to anyway, but you still filled my dreams. I have no idea if I recognized something in you the day we met at the center, though there was this strange sense of déjà vu I couldn’t shake. What I know for sure is I was interested in you, as Agatha, from the moment we met. The crazy thing is that for the last couple of weeks, I’ve had an inner battle. The Saints were looking for Agnes, and she began to fill my mind again, but Agatha was filling my days, and beginning to fill my heart.”
Hearing how he was torn between two women, not knowing they were the same person, she sighed heavily, realizing how difficult the past weeks must have been for him. “I’m sorry.”
Silence swirled between them, before she admitted, “I also felt torn. For the past two years, I have thought of you endlessly. Thought of the man who came to rescue me. Thought of the man who helped me get to Harlan. Thought of the man who taught me to look up at the stars, and to see the brightness. You know, I try to look at the stars every night, and am reminded of you. When I saw you in the center, I could not believe my eyes. It was a dream come true to see you again, and a nightmare that I could not tell you who I was. Harlan emphasized over and over, that I should have moved far away. But, I couldn’t.”
“Why not?”
She stayed silent, the truth too painful, tearing through her. Finally, recognizing he deserved to know it all, she whispered, “Because I always hoped that one day I might be able to see you again. I knew I could never have you, but just to see you again would have been worthwhile.”
“And when you did?”
“I tried to stay away, but as you continued to come around and then showed interest in me, I could not help myself. I knew it was a risk, especially a risk to my heart, but I so wanted to be with you. I knew it couldn’t be forever…but, then again, maybe I thought it could be. Maybe you’d never need to know who I was, would never figure it out. It was selfish, I know, but I couldn’t let you go.”
Pulling into a parking space in front of the center, he turned off the engine and twisted in his seat to look at her. As much as she knew it would hurt, she turned to look at him as well. His beard, usually neatly trimmed, was now scruffy. The lines around his eyes were deep with fatigue, but, his eyes, still burning with intensity, managed to penetrate the cold around her heart. She could only hope that he could find it in himself to forgive her.
“I’m so sorry—”
He sighed as he lifted his hand to cup her ja
w. “Aggie, you don’t have to apologize. I reacted badly and I’m the one who’s sorry. When I had a chance to think about it, of course you had to keep your identity a secret. Harlan was right to drill that into you.”
She closed her eyes, the touch from his warm hand on her face something she wanted to remember.
He leaned forward, his fingers at the back of her neck gently pulling her forward. His lips touched hers in a kiss as gentle as a whisper.
She melted under the sweet assault, his kiss sending warm tingles throughout her body, which now felt alive once more.
“You need to get inside, and get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, pulling back reluctantly.
She blinked in surprise. Tilting her head to the side, she repeated, “Tomorrow?”
“Yeah, babe. I’ll be over tomorrow as soon as I know all of Jack’s plans.”
Heart aching, she nodded. “Oh, yes… Jack’s plans. Uh, it’s okay, you know. I don’t want you to feel like you have to watch over me.”
“Why the hell would I not want to be here?”
“I don’t want you to feel awkward,” she began.
His brow lowered and he said, “Babe, you aren’t making any sense.”
“Jesus, Nathan! Do I have to spell it out for you? I know last night was special, before everything fell apart. I just don’t know what we are now. And I know because you work for Jack, you have to be involved trying to protect me. But I don’t want you to feel obligated.”
Blowing out his breath, he said, “Okay, sweet Aggie. You’re exhausted, you’re grieving, and I can see that everything is muddled in your head, so, let me break this down for you. We’ve been building something for weeks and tonight, or rather last night now, we finally came together in a way that means something to me and I hope like hell, it means something to you too. It wasn’t just sex, but a true joining of two people who I think are destined to be together. The only difference now is I know that both Agnes and Agatha make up my Aggie. And, darlin’, you are my Aggie.”
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