“Oh,” she looked down nervously at the straps that stuck out underneath her tank top. “Yeah. We were meeting at the beach so I just thought . . .” she let her sentence trail off.
“I’ve never seen you in a bikini.” He smiled, looking suddenly like a kid who’d won a prize.
An hour later they were snug on the hammock as he kissed her. “Gem, I seriously don’t know why I’m getting this summer with you, but I could not be more grateful.”
“I just can’t believe that between all my summers here and Dockside Coffee we haven’t met before, to be honest.” She leaned back looking pensive and then continued, “Is it weird that I’m kind of glad this is our first summer?”
He studied her, making sure she didn’t take his words the wrong way before he answered. “No, I think there is a time and place for everything and this summer was our time. And this beach, it will always be our place.” He smiled to reassure her that he wasn’t offended by the question.
He started to kiss her slowly after that. It was as if he was praising her understanding of his words and their situation. He didn’t dive in, consuming her or overwhelming her, but was clearly building to something. The hand that she had deflected before now made its way to her middle with no interference. “Gem,” he whispered as he continued to kiss her but now with urgency, “please tell me if I go too far.”
“I will.” She panted with desire. “Please don’t stop yet.” She shocked herself, not with the words but with the ferocity with which she said them.
“Noted,” he whispered before he let his lips trail down her neck. “Off,” he commanded gruffly before sitting up and helping her out of her tank top.
“Same,” she replied as she ran her fingers over his abs, helping him remove the annoying piece of cloth. As they found their way back together, he rolled so he was on top of her. The hammock, not being designed as a bed for activity, couldn’t handle the aggressive motion, and they flipped to the left, falling with a thud to the sand. Gemma happened to end up on top and she looked down, searching Abe’s face for signs of injury. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” He grunted. “It’s easier this way, anyway.”
She smiled down at him as she sat up. “Yes, it is.”
Gemma had the thought that it was time to take the next step. Her hands, almost of their own accord, began to rise to the strings that held her bikini in place. Abe, knowing her as he did, reached up and stopped her. “What?” She worried her lip as she looked down at him, scared she had done too much or worse, that he realized he didn’t like what he saw. Nerves she had been able to disregard or fight started to creep to the surface. Images of him walking away without a backward glance began to creep into her mind. She prepared to get up and hurry away, mentally reminding herself it was dark enough that she didn’t even need to find her shirt first. Just as she started to stand, he rolled them over so he was on top of her. Staring into her eyes, there was a softness she hadn’t expected in the moment. The gentle shake of his head was all the reassurance she needed.
He smiled down at her as he lowered his lips to her collar bone and sucked her skin, goose bumps erupting all over as electric shots were going off and her brain grasped what he was explaining with his actions. “You are so gorgeous.” He lifted his lips and then looked into her eyes. “So perfect,” he whispered.
She looked down and ached with want for more but knew that, for tonight, she needed to be done. It was clear by her insecurities, by her fears, and by her desperate need to run only moments before that the trust she needed to further a relationship with this man still eluded her. She wanted it. She craved it. And yet, she knew that it still wasn’t the right time. Too much too soon would ruin a good thing. As she let out an exhausted breath, slightly pushing against Abe, knowing he would get the hint, he released a long and tortured sigh of his own. Collapsing next to her in the sand.
Minutes later, after they had regained their breaths, he rolled to face her. “Well, that was an insanely crazy idea.” He laughed as they both stared down at the sand sticking to their bodies. “Care to take a dip, my lady?”
“I’m pretty sure, based on what we just did in the middle of a public beach that I’m not much of a lady.”
Laughing, he leaned over and gently kissed her lips. “Whatever you are it’s exactly what I want.” He reached over and pulled her up. She followed a step behind him as they headed into the sea, replacing sand with salt but indifferent to anything besides each other. Minutes and more than one kissing break later, they were dressed and on the hammock again, falling asleep in each other’s arms. Gemma was well aware that she had gone from like to trust to something close to love in an infinitesimal amount of time.
~~~
“Walk of shame, walk of shame,” Kate yelled as Gemma crawled through the window around five in the morning.
“Shhh,” she whispered as she fell through the window in surprise. “What the hell are you doing awake?” She stood and fixed her top, rubbing the elbow that had just connected with the windowsill.
“Waiting on you, you slut.” Kate giggled and clapped her hands together.
“Oh, shut up.” Gemma laughed as she started getting her stuff together to take a shower.
“Well . . .?” Kate bounced up and down on her bed.
“Ugh, we didn’t have sex.” Gemma started out of the room and toward the bathroom.
“Not what I’m asking and you know it.” Kate brought her hands together and puckered out her lower lip.
“I’m not giving you details.” Gemma groaned.
“Please.” Kate pouted a little more, “I may as well be staying at a nunnery this summer. I need something!”
“Fine!” Gemma rolled her eyes and turned to face her sister before heading into the bathroom. “The way that man kisses should be illegal. His lips on my neck could melt an iceberg. He is so dang perfect it’s borderline painful.”
“Eeep, I knew it!” Kate bounced up and down in excitement.
“Shut up. Go to sleep. I’m exhausted.” Gemma had almost shut the door when Kate started laughing. “What?”
“I bet you’re tired. Dealing with that fine specimen all night. Poor baby.” Gemma rolled her eyes and shut her door to the continued laugher of Kate.
Gemma stood under the warm spray of water and was relieved to feel the grime of the beach and water wash away. She unfortunately discovered on her way home from the beach that there was a little sand left in places she didn’t want to admit to and as she walked she was sure she was getting a rash. Her body still felt slightly fluid from the pleasure of her night. The one time she had tried sex before it was awkward, uncomfortable, and over almost before it got started. One night with Abe and she knew without a doubt this time it would be completely different.
Nine
The next few days consisted of time spent together at the beach in the afternoon, each day allowing Gemma to get more and more comfortable with her body and the girls she was surrounded by, and then nights under the stars sans the hammock and with the added perk of a beach towel. That’s not to say that sand didn’t end up in some uncomfortable places or that they were able to keep themselves on the towel for long, but at least Abe was trying. Their physical relationship had stalled, and Gemma was getting more and more frustrated each night. She could tell Abe was feeling the same frustrations, but he was still the one who halted the progress of their physical relationship each night. Her confidence seemed to be growing and suffering at the same time.
She had plans to meet everyone at the beach as she had every day that week, but since it was Friday, they were all able to meet in the morning. Kate was almost ready and Gray had already left with his friends when Karen came into the kitchen. Gemma was throwing away the wrapper of her NutriGrain bar and turned just in time to see Karen smiling at her.
“What?” Gemma asked, trying to hide her annoyance with Karen. She may have come a long way in her relationship with Kate, but Karen was still Karen, and that meant she
would never trust nor desire a relationship with the woman.
“Nothing.” Karen paused. “It’s just”—she smiled wistfully—“you look happy. You look beautiful. I don’t know. I’ve never seen you like this. It’s nice.”
Gemma furrowed her brows. “Hmm, I wonder why you wouldn’t see me happy very often?” Gemma scoffed as she stepped toward the back door. “Perhaps it’s because you didn’t think twice about tearing my family apart and leaving me to grow up without a father while you went ahead and created your perfect, cookie-cutter family.”
“Gemma . . .” Karen’s eyes filled with tears as she started to follow Gemma toward the door.
“Don’t, Karen. I can’t.” Gemma hurried out of the house, confused by her outburst as well as her remorse. Why had she attacked Karen for saying she looked beautiful, and further, since when did hurting Karen’s feelings make her feel this terrible. She had made it a habit of going out of her way to let Karen and her father know her distaste for them since she was a child.
“Gemma, wait up,” Kate yelled from behind her. Gemma could hear her feet pounding on the concrete as she ran after her. “That was pretty brutal. You okay?”
“Yeah, I just . . . I’m sorry if that made you mad or whatever. I just lost if for a minute.” Gemma shook her head and took a deep, calming breath.
“Hey, they screwed up. I get it. I’m just going to say this once, so please don’t get mad and write me off like before, but Gem, you have to let it go eventually. You can’t carry this stuff around forever; it’ll drive you nuts.”
Gemma studied her little sister for a moment, letting the words she knew in the back of her head were true fully sink in. “Wow, cheerleader, that almost sounded like an insightful statement,” she said, letting sarcasm mask her confusion.
Kate clicked her tongue. “Almost.”
“I know that I have to let it go, but you can’t possibly understand what it was like for me.” Gemma turned and started to walk, hoping the conversation would just disappear.
“So explain it.” Kate grabbed Gemma’s arm and pulled her to a stop. Facing her and waiting, Kate crossed her arms almost protectively. Gemma knew then that whatever she said would affect them forever and Kate’s reply would do the same.
“He left. She was a few months pregnant and he just bailed not because he was scared but because he just didn’t want us.” She looked at Kate, begging her with her eyes for understanding not only of the words but the emotional toll all those years had taken. “I have had to live with that my entire life. And any time I’d let myself forget it, my mother would remind me. Even when he did see me during the summer, he spent all of his time hiding in the loft, writing. I think in my entire life I have spent less time with him than I have with you this summer. You can’t imagine how that feels. I’m sorry, but your mother is the one that he replaced us with. It’s just too hard.” Gemma dropped her eyes to the road, scared to look at Kate any longer and scared to see how their new relationship would suffer because of her words.
“You aren’t the only one who had to grow up with him as a father, you know?” Kate’s words surprised Gemma enough that she looked up and couldn’t miss the hurt that swam in Kate’s eyes. “Gray and I, we’re so ashamed of him.” Kate shrugged and cleared her throat, clearly affected by her own words. “Why do you think I tried so hard to get you to like me and Gray tried so hard to be invisible? We knew we were part of why you hated him—part of the reason you thought he didn’t care about you. But this summer it’s been different for the three of us. It’s as if you finally understood that none of us kids are to blame. It’s him. The thing is it was Dad who made the decision. My mom is just as innocent as yours. She didn’t know about you, not until it was too late. I’m not saying you need to be best friends with her. I’m just saying try not to hate her so much.”
Gemma wrapped the now-crying Kate in her arms, guilt setting in, but she knew somewhere in the back of her mind it just wasn’t enough. She still wasn’t ready to embrace Karen, and she wasn’t sure that she ever would be. “Kate, it’s okay. I’ll try. I promise.” Gemma lied as Kate relaxed into her.
Kate smiled at Gemma and wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry; apparently, I’m a cry baby.”
“Nah.” Gemma rubbed her back. “Just a girl.”
“Shut up.” Kate laughed. They quickly composed themselves and started walking again.
~~~
“What’s up, my ladies?” Emily yelled from down the beach. Both girls laughed as they approached her. They could see the boys skim surfing along the water line. “Where have you been?”
“Just running late.” Gemma looked over her shoulder and smiled at Kate before returning her attention to Emily. She was distracted by the scene in the distance and quietly watched as Abe stood on his board, riding a mild wave into the shore. Gemma turned and tilted her head to the side, sighing at the sight of Abe.
“Shut up.” Kate growled. “No one likes a braggart.”
“She’s not bragging, Emily said. She’s just enjoying what is all hers. Shall we all enjoy the view?”
“You two suck.” Kate whined. “But, yes, this is the most action I’ve had all summer; I’ll take it.” Gemma was mortified to have been caught staring but couldn’t help turning back for one more peek.
“Aw, poor Kate,” Emily reached out and pulled Kate to her side. “You want me to see what I can find?”
“No, you and Ryan are forever fired from that job. I got this.” Kate already had her eyes roaming the sand, seeking out someone who would suffice.
“There’s my girl,” Abe yelled as he ran up the beach, lifting Gemma in his arms as she wrapped her legs around his waist. “Morning, baby.”
“Morning,” she whispered as her lips met his, both of them smiling.
“Aw, isn’t that cute?” Emily reached out and pulled Ryan’s hand to her chest, laying her head on his shoulder.
“Seriously getting sick over here. Can we please play volleyball or something? At least then you’ll all have to keep your hands off one another.” Kate grumbled as she walked toward the makeshift court the guys had set up earlier that morning.
“You must be playing wrong if there isn’t any touching.” Ryan yelled after her.
“I don’t even want to know.” She glared at him and covered her ears. Everyone laughed as they made their way to the court behind her.
Abe leaned over and whispered into Gemma’s ear, “Try not to make it obvious, but I invited my friend Simon today. He’s been away with family and just got in a couple days ago. I figured he and Kate may hit it off.”
Gemma smiled up at him. “You’re a saint. Did you know that?” She rose up on her toes and kissed him, taking a little longer to finish than she originally planned.
“Gemma Andrews, if you don’t get over here right now, I’m going to kick your scrawny butt,” Kate yelled across the beach.
“Totally worth it.” She winked at Abe before running toward the other girls. To Kate she said, “You’re going to regret being mean to me when you hear what my sexy man did for you.”
“What?” Kate jumped up and down excitedly, no doubt drawing the eyes of a few different guys on the beach.
“Patience, girl.” Emily smiled knowingly.
They played one game, and the guys, though trying to take it easy on them, annihilated them within ten minutes. “No fair.” Emily pouted. “Let’s mix and match the teams. At least then it’ll be fun and last a little longer.”
“Need one more?” A deep voice said from behind the girls. Gemma smiled over at Kate and nodded her head behind them. Kate’s eyes went large with excitement, and she whipped her hair over her shoulder and turned to see who was there. Gemma looked as well and had to hand it to Abe; he had done well. This boy was no boy at all. He had to be at least six foot five and his wavy dark hair looked as if it were about a week past needing a haircut, sexy and crazy but still in control. How did guys do that? He had light green eyes, not hazel but not far from it, a
nd was darker than the rest of the boys. Clearly wherever he had been on vacation there was sun and lots of it.
“We may need a hand, just to even us out,” Kate said as she walked toward Simon.
“Well, I guess you and I will need a third then, huh?” He smiled down at her, not even waiting for the teams to be divided, taking what he wanted instead. Again, Abe had picked correctly.
“Not it,” Emily yelled and ran to join Abe and Ryan on their side of the tent. Gemma turned and scowled at her before pouting her lip at Abe.
“Sorry, babe.” He smiled apologetically. “Those are the rules of ‘not it.’”
“Well, let’s see what happens when you ask for someone to wander down the beach with you later. I think I’ll be the one saying ‘not it’.” Gemma teased.
“All right,” Ryan interrupted, “would you two care to join us?” He hollered at the still chatting, only much more quietly, duo off to the side.
“Oh, sorry.” Kate ran toward Gemma. “Our serve—we got the two-girl team.”
“Sounds fair.” Ryan tossed the ball at Kate, and she started toward the back of the court.
~~~
The day crowd was starting to thin out. There were only a few left on the beach, and they were either packing up or planning to stay until the weekend security came and told them to move along. The girls had all decided to stay in what they had on for the party, fully aware they wouldn’t be staying long anyway. Apparently, before the first volleyball game was over, Kate and Simon had made plans for the night. Abe told Gemma not to worry. Even though Simon had a way with the ladies, he always respected them in the end. She couldn’t help but study him just a little closer, however. For all of Kate’s bravado, there was something so innocent about her. Kate’s quick interest in Simon put Gemma on high alert.
The group started walking toward the people building the fire, and Kate hurried to Gemma, pulling her away from Abe and making her walk a little away from the group. “Seriously, have you ever seen something so perfect? And oh my God, the way his muscles flex doing simple stuff like lifting a volleyball . . . I need to have him, like now.”
Break Me (The Summer Series) Page 7