by Anita Waller
‘Okay.’ Charlie turned towards her. Her round face was made even rounder by the smile she directed at Anna. ‘Oh, by the way, happy anniversary.’
She recognised this as Charlie speak for, ‘We’ll talk tomorrow,’ and she simply nodded her head.
The bedroom was particularly cosy, decorated in greys of varying hues, with mint green accessories. The quilt was grey satin, with touches of white, and again Anna couldn’t help but stroke it. Anna logged the colour combination into her brain; this would be the colour scheme for one of her bedrooms when she had a house.
She expected to lie awake into the early hours, but she read a couple of pages, switched off the bedside lamp, and drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 2
Tuesday 10 March 2015
Day Two
The sky was overcast next morning when she drew back the curtains, and Anna stood for a while gazing out of the window. Although she wasn’t really aware of what she was doing, she was feeding thoughts into her brain of what she hoped to have in her new home. It felt strange to keep mentally pushing Ray to one side, and she knew she was kidding herself that this brave new life was going to simply be a matter of deciding it was what she was going to do, and everything would be hunky dory.
Anna walked into the kitchen and was surprised to find Charlie there on her own.
‘Okay,’ she said, ‘time to talk.’
‘It’s not easy to begin a conversation when you don’t know what to say,’ Anna responded quietly.
‘Talk,’ she repeated.
‘I’ve left him,’ Anna said.
Charlie nodded slowly. ‘Well, that’s a start.’
Anna sat down at the round pine table, and Charlie handed her a mug of coffee.
Her brain turned to mush, and she ran her finger down the beaker, outlining the shape of the pig which decorated it.
‘He let you walk away?’
‘He doesn’t know yet. I didn’t know till nine o’clock yesterday morning. When I rang you, my plan was for just a couple of days away to see what I could do about accommodation, then go back home and sort stuff. But, really, that’s not much of a possibility. If I go back, I’ll never leave. I know I won’t. So that’s why I’ve arrived with all my worldly goods in the boot of the car.’
‘Oh my god!’
‘Look, don’t worry,’ she said to a shocked Charlie. Her eyes were like saucers. ‘I won’t be staying here tonight, so you won’t be involved. Just keep telling him you haven’t seen me.’
As if on cue, Charlie’s phone rang. It was clear it was Ray. She was silent as she listened to him speak and then she said, ‘Ray, stop worrying. I’m sure she’ll be in touch today, and as I said last night, if I hear from her, I’ll ask her to ring you.’ There was another short lull in the conversation before she finished with, ‘Okay, take care. Bye, Ray.’
Charlie stood with her back to Anna for a few moments then slowly turned around.
‘You have to contact him. He’s really worried.’
Anna stared into the cup of coffee, as if the pig beaker held all the answers. It didn’t.
‘Charlie, if he finds out where I am…’
‘He’ll hit you,’ she said softly. ‘Again.'
She nodded. She didn’t think she could speak. Anna had clearly fooled herself when she assumed Charlie hadn’t realised what Ray was capable of.
‘I’ve always known,’ she said. ‘Why do you think we’re lying for you, covering for you now? And before you ask, yes, Dan knows as well.’
Charlie put an arm around Anna’s shoulders and squeezed. ‘Tell us what you want us to do.’
*****
The estate agent led Anna from one room to another, explaining everything she needed to know. The apartment was in the centre of Sheffield and available to rent. It overlooked the river, had its own balcony, and she absolutely loved it. The master bedroom was really large and even the second bedroom would comfortably take a double bed. The lounge was huge and open plan; Anna loved the kitchen that formed part of the large space. The shower room was off the entrance hallway, and the whole thing was perfect for her. They stood out on the balcony, watching the sun break through the murkiness, and she breathed a sigh of contentment.
‘I want this one. No doubt at all. I liked the other one you showed me, but this is higher up the building, and I love the view, the peace – oh everything. When would I be able to move in?’
He smiled at her enthusiasm. ‘I knew you’d like this one. You can be in here by next Monday, if we crack on with the paperwork. Will that suit you?’
‘It most certainly will. Until then, I’ll be staying at the Hilton, but you can reach me on my mobile phone. I can transfer any money you need back at your office. And if you can make it quicker...’
Anna shook his hand and said, ‘Let’s go back inside.’
She checked into the Hilton for the night, and rang Charlie who informed her she hadn’t heard any more from Ray. They spent half an hour chatting about the new apartment. Charlie was a little bit stunned by Anna taking on a property so quickly, but she explained it was only a six month let, as she intended on looking for a house to buy during those six months.
‘Anna,’ Charlie laughed. ‘You’ve turned into a bit of a whirling dervish. This isn’t the Anna we know and love, this is someone else! You amaze me.’
‘It had to be done.’
‘Absolutely,’ was Charlie’s response. ‘But, I think you’re living in a parallel universe, if you think everything’s going to be this easy. There’s a small matter of the husband, to say nothing of three assorted kids...’
Anna laughed. ‘Not really kids, Charlie.’
‘They’re your kids, and always will be. Age is irrelevant.’
She sighed. ‘I know. Just give me tonight to feel giddy about this new home, and I’ll tackle the problems tomorrow.’
‘You’ll ring Ray?’
‘Yes.’
‘Promise?’
‘Promise.’
Anna rang off and studied the room service menu before ordering a sandwich and a drink. She wasn’t hungry, but felt she should eat something – she really didn’t want to wake in the middle of the night absolutely ravenous.
Her thoughts turned to Ray, and she wondered what he was thinking. Her note had been ambiguous, and he was bound to be feeling out of control – a new sensation for him.
Anna’s feelings, however, were of being very much in control. She felt a growing sense of freedom which was in part scary and in part so exciting she kept giggling. She had experienced two days of escapism and liked it.
Chapter 3
Wednesday 11 March 2015
Day Three
The next morning, Anna went down to breakfast, taking an hour to eat, drink coffee, and relax. She checked in with Charlie, and found out Ray had rung around eight o’clock, and told Charlie wasn’t going to work until he had heard from her.
Control, control, control.
Anna booked for four more nights at the hotel to take her through Sunday night for a Monday morning check out, and went for a walk around the city centre. There was nothing she could do to help along the apartment – it had all been set in motion. She bought some jeans, a couple of tops, and some sandals. And a kettle.
Anna got back to the Hilton after four, utterly exhausted and needing a sleep. There were a lot of shops in Sheffield. She stood the kettle on the desk and recognised it for what it was – a symbol of the new life she was planning, and her first purchase for her new home. And then, to her surprise and utter delight, the room telephone rang; she had asked the estate agent to contact her at the Hilton rather than on her mobile phone as she knew she would miss it. He confirmed everything was going through, and she could collect the keys from them Friday lunchtime.
*****
Promise. The word reverberated in her head, and she knew she had to ring Ray. Her palms felt sweaty as she dug out the silenced mobile phone from the bottom of her bag. There were fifteen mi
ssed calls, mostly from Ray, but two were from Caroline and two from Mark. What was the most surprising were the two calls from Jenny, Mark’s wife.
It took her five long minutes of holding the phone in her hand before she pressed the call button. He answered immediately.
‘Where the fucking hell are you?’
She disconnected and lay down on the bed, shaking. It wasn’t just her palms sweating now. Her phone lit up almost immediately with a call, and she left it to go through to voicemail. The next time she looked at it, there was a text. She opened it and read, ‘RING ME.’
Anna buried the phone under the pillow. Not on your life, pal, not on your life.
She slept fitfully, not because she was hungry, but because she knew she had to face a new day, and the problems it would bring. For too many years she had been scared of Ray, even extending to having contact with him over the telephone. What she really found so worrying and frustrating was the fact nobody else had seen this side of him, this bullying, egotistical monster. Except Charlie and Dan, it seemed.
It was around four in the morning Anna realised maybe she had unwittingly put them in the middle of the catastrophe, just by being friends with them. She had no doubt Ray would turn up on their doorstep at some point, convinced she was staying with them. Anna had to protect them by telling him she was staying in a hotel, but she daren’t mention Sheffield. She would be too easy to track down. She could make some throw away remark about Newark and staying in a pub. Hopefully, that would give her a few days’ grace, before Ray realised he wasn’t going to find her.
Chapter 4
Thursday, 12 March 2015
Day Four
Anna rang Ray at seven o’clock the next morning. She kept it brief, trying to remain in control, but it was hard. She told him she had left him, and it was for good. She let slip she was only half an hour away from him, so if there was an emergency she could easily be reached. He just had to text her with the problem. Anna said she would let him know the name of her solicitor, and that it wasn’t a separation; she wanted a divorce.
Anna held the phone away from her ear as his language grew stronger and stronger, and his voice heightened in volume. Apparently, she was a fucking whore, and he wanted to know the name of the man she had run off with. He was going to stop her credit cards, stop their joint account from being accessed by her, and generally make life so impossible she would crawl back to him.
Anna let him rant on, and when he had finished, she laughed and disconnected. He obviously hadn’t checked the balance of the joint account, her two credit cards were both in her name only, and the money from the sale of her childhood home was firmly in her own name, along with her wages from the business she had earned and not touched for the past fifteen years.
Did she need him? No, she didn’t!
Anna felt so much better as she tucked into a full English breakfast. She decided it was amazing what a difference a good argument could make to your life, especially one you’ve won. Over coffee, she considered what to do next. Anna felt she should ring Mark, but knew how he would be with her; she needed space from him. The more worrying issue was the two missed calls from Jenny, his wife.
Jenny was a quiet, young woman, although Anna recalled when Mark had first introduced her to his parents, she hadn’t seemed quiet then. She was a happy-go-lucky person, full of laughter, but it seemed, after they married, she had assumed a mantle of responsibility which, in some way, had squashed the spontaneity. Initially, she had shared a fantastic relationship with her son’s girlfriend, and when that became a stronger partnership, Anna’s own feelings towards Jenny deepened. But, marriage had changed her, and now Anna didn’t feel particularly close to her daughter-in-law; Jenny always kept her distance, which was why the two missed calls puzzled her. She could only assume Mark had asked Jenny to contact her, to try pressure from all angles.
Charlie rang just after eight o’clock. ‘He doesn’t believe you’re in Newark,’ she said, as Anna answered the phone.
‘What?’
‘He doesn’t believe you. He was here last night, pacing up and down, convinced you would be coming back here.’
‘God, Charlie, I’m so sorry.’
‘Don’t worry about us, you just take care. In the end, Dan had a word with him, and virtually threw him out, but he’s not giving up on you.’
‘Right, I’ve only tonight in this hotel – I can have the key to my new address tomorrow afternoon. Then, he won’t be able to find me. I’m vulnerable for the next twenty-four hours or so. I’ll pack up my car Friday morning and leave here by nine, straight after breakfast. I’ll go down to reception now and make sure they tell no one I am here, and then I’ve only got today to worry about. I’ll have a drive out into Derbyshire for the day. I’m safe once I’ve left here, and I’m in my own place. I’ll text you the address; you’ll be the only one who knows it.’
‘Just take care, and keep away from us for a couple of weeks. I’ll come and see you Monday, if that’s okay? You should be well settled by then, if you’re having the key tomorrow.’
‘That would be lovely. And once again, Charlie, I am so sorry you’ve become entangled in all this.’
She laughed. ‘Oh, it’s a pleasure, believe me.’
Anna went down to reception and explained she didn’t want anyone to know she was there. She changed her booking to just that night, and told the receptionist she would be leaving fairly early the following morning. The information was logged into the computer, and Anna felt instantly at ease. She checked her silenced phone before she went out and was quite startled to see, yet again, Jenny had rung twice.
Maybe she would have to ring her. She somehow felt Jenny wouldn’t be as censorious as she expected Mark and Caroline to be – perhaps she would even understand.
Today would be Jenny day – she would ring while out in Derbyshire, decision made.
Bakewell was beautiful in the early morning, spring sunshine. Anna walked along the river, watching children feeding the ducks and listening to parents exhorting them not to go too near the edge, remembering all the times they had been there as a family, first with the boys and then with Caroline. She loved Bakewell, with its quaint shops and general ambience. She walked around for quite some time before heading to a pub to have a meal.
Anna had bought more items for her new home and placed them all carefully on the seat next to her. The barman brought her lunch over and knocked one of the bags which fell to the floor. They laughed together as they picked up the assorted goods and replaced them in the bag. She grinned at him and said, ‘Thank you,’ before stacking the bag a bit more carefully.
That was the last laughter for some time.
After she had eaten, Anna took out her phone and stared at it for a while before going into favourites and pressing for the connection to Jenny. She answered immediately, giving Anna the impression she had been sat with her phone in her hand, waiting.
‘Anna. I have to see you.’
‘Jenny? That was quick! I’m sorry I’ve...’
‘Anna. Stop talking and listen. I have to see you. Just me. Not Mark, not the children. Just me. Where are you?’
Anna faltered. ‘Jenny, I can’t tell anyone where I am. Ray...’
‘I know. Anna, I’m on your side. I’ll drive up now. Or, if you really don’t want me to know where you are, we could both set off driving and meet somewhere in the middle. Whatever way we do it, I have to see you. Adam and Grace are with my mum and dad, and Mark is in Lincoln with Ray, so no one will know I’m meeting you. Anna, it’s important. Please.’
She heard anguish in Jenny’s tone and knew she had very little choice. This all felt so strange – they spoke very rarely, and whenever they did speak, it was quite impersonal. There was real emotion in the younger woman’s voice, a vulnerability, and Anna stood. She said quietly she would go outside to finish the call, and Jenny made a small sound, almost like a sob.
‘Jenny, please don’t cry,’ Anna whispered. ‘Look
, I will meet with you. What about Trowell Services on the M1? Have you eaten lunch? Can you set off straight away?’
‘Anna, I haven’t eaten since we got the news about you and Ray. But, I will grab a sandwich and eat it as I’m driving. We’ll meet up in the coffee shop. Is that okay?’
Anna felt utterly flustered, and anxiety hung over her like a pall.
‘That’s fine, Jenny. And drive carefully. I’ll see you soon.’
She moved quickly to the car park, and was soon on her way. Anna filled up with petrol in Bakewell and headed for the motorway.
*****
Anna arrived at Trowell first and went in to get a coffee while she looked for her daughter- in- law.
She didn’t have long to wait; Jenny walked through the doors and spotted her immediately. She hurried across and held Anna closely for several long moments.
‘Hey,’ Anna chided gently. ‘We can talk properly now. But, I do have to tell you that nothing you can say will make me go back to Ray,’ she added, looking closely at Jenny, ‘I don’t think that’s why you’re here though, is it?’
She shook her head. ‘No, it isn’t. I’m here to talk to you, to have the most difficult conversation I’ll ever have in my life, but I do have to do this. I’ll go get us two fresh coffees.’
Anna watched her walk over to the counter and was struck anew by how pretty she was. Her long, blonde hair glowed, and she had a wonderful figure, despite having given birth to two babies. Her face, however, looked haunted; something was very wrong in her daughter-in-law’s life. Anna hoped it wasn’t anything to do with Mark. Her mind was careering madly through so many possibilities – an affair, domestic abuse, maybe even something wrong with one of the children.
She most certainly wasn’t prepared for the truth when it finally spilled out of Jenny.
*****
Jenny carefully placed the two coffees on the table and sat down. Anna waited for her to speak, but the silence lengthened.