by Amy Cross
"Sounds exciting," Mary says. "Whatever made you go into that line of work?"
"It's just temporary," I reply. "I'm earning money before I go to college in a couple of months".
"A college girl?" Mary smiles, looking almost proud of me. "How wonderful". She pauses for a moment, and I swear I can see tears in her eyes.
"Are you okay?" I ask cautiously.
She nods. "It's just so overwhelming. The last time I saw you, Juliet, you were a little girl who'd just lost her mother. And now you're all grown up, you're beautiful, and you're working to save money for college. I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I'm absolutely certain your mother would be so proud if she could see you right now".
I smile, not really sure how to respond.
"I'll be in the kitchen," my father says, patting me on the back as he heads through. "If you need me, you know where to find me".
"I'm so sorry we haven't been in touch," Mary says. "To be honest, the last time I spoke to your Dad, it was a little... unusual. Things were said, on both sides, that perhaps should have been swept under the carpet. After what happened between you and Samantha, I suppose it was just easier to disconnect for a while. I thought it would all get sorted out eventually, but you know how it goes. And suddenly, a decade passes and all this stupidity has been allowed to get out of proportion". She pauses. "I want to apologize to you, Juliet. From the bottom of my heart. I never should have allowed my personal problems with your father to prevent us from seeing you. I let you down, and I let your mother down, and for that I'm truly, truly sorry".
"It's fine," I say quietly.
"It's not fine," she replies. "I want you to know that Samantha and I have both forgiven you for all that unpleasantness. It's time to turn over a new leaf. After all, family is family".
"Don't worry about it," I say, feeling intensely awkward. The truth is, things would have been more complicated if Mary had been around. It's not that there's anything particularly wrong with her, but she's the kind of person who's always trying to make everyone pretend to be happy. I'm pretty sure I would've gone crazy if I'd had to deal with her while I was growing up. In fact, I wouldn't even be here today if it wasn't for the fact that my father pretty much forced me to come. In the eleven years since I last saw Mary and Samantha, I don't think they've even crossed my mind more than a couple of times. They've just been irrelevant to me.
"So," Mary continues, taking my arm and leading me through to the front room, "this isn't a very big gathering. Just some friends and family getting together to mark the fact that my little princess has finally got a ring on her finger". She pauses in the doorway, and half a dozen people turn to look at us. They're all middle-aged, and there's something kind of weird about the way they're just sitting on two sofas; it's as if they're going through the motions of a party, without actually enjoying themselves. For once, I might not be the most awkward person in the room. "Everyone," Mary says, grinning the most freakishly sincere smile I've ever seen, "I want you to meet Juliet! Juliet is my niece. She's Amanda's daughter".
"Hi," the other guests all kind of murmur together.
I smile, trying not to blush. I don't recognize anyone here, which is something of a relief. I really just want to give Samantha her gift and get out of here. As I stare back at all the faces in the room, I feel as if their eyes are burrowing into my soul, seeing everything about me. Do they know my secrets? Just by looking at me, do they know all the dark things that cross my mind? After all, I've killed two people in the past couple of weeks, and that's got to show, hasn't it? I wonder what would happen if I suddenly announced the truth to them all? I'd love to see the shocked looks on their faces, but then again, I guess they can probably tell that I'm a little weird. Maybe they can look at me and immediately tell that I'm a bad person?
"Hey," says a voice behind me. I turn to find myself face to face, for the first time in eleven years, with Samantha. I know it's something of a cliche, but I'm shocked to see how much she's grown. As she stands and smiles awkwardly at me, I stare at her pretty little pink dress and her overly-made-up face. It's like she's made of bubblegum. I mean, I've always known she's kind of a bubbly, girly kind of girl, but it looks as if she's completely embraced that side of her personality. I guess she embraced an extreme.
"Hey," I say, thrusting the gift toward her. "This is for you".
"Oh!" She takes the gift. "Thank you. I'll put it with the others. I'm going to open them all later. Together". She hurries across the room and sets the box with the rest. "It's so good to see you, Juliet," she continues, glancing nervously at me. "It's been a long time".
"Eleven years," I reply. The other people in the room have gone back to talking to one another, so I can relax a little.
"Gosh!" Samantha says, turning to me. "Eleven years. That's... That's a long time, isn't it? That's, like... more than three thousand days. That's..." Her voice trails off, and I can tell that she's struggling to keep the conversation going.
"Yeah," I say, trying not to smile. It's pretty obvious that she's finding this whole situation to be pretty weird.
"Can I get you a drink, Juliet?" Mary asks, hovering nearby.
"Just a glass of water, thanks," I say.
"Nonsense!" she replies, grabbing a champagne flute and holding it out to me. "Have a glass of bubbly!"
"I don't really drink," I say.
"Just this once?" She grins at me, and it's pretty clear that she's not going to let me get away with just having a glass of water.
"Have some champagne," my father says, having wandered in from the kitchen. "It's a special occasion".
"I'm not -"
"Have some fucking champagne," he continues, heading over to the sofas.
I take the glass. "Thank you," I say, seeing from the look in my father's eyes that it'd be better to just go with the flow. Everyone else here is drinking champagne, and the last thing I want to do is draw attention to myself by being the odd one out. Besides, I don't actually have to drink the stuff. I raise the glass to my lips and take the smallest sip, just to satisfy my father and Mary. "Nice," I say.
"Isn't it?" Mary replies. "Well, I'll leave you two girls to have a little chat. I bet you've got so much to be talking about!" With that, she turns and hurries across the room, leaving me standing next to Samantha.
"So you're getting married?" I say eventually, figuring I might as well be the one to break the uncomfortable silence.
"Yeah," she says, not sounding particularly enthusiastic. "Scott's not here right now. He's at work, but..." Again, her voice trails off. It's pretty obvious that she doesn't want to be talking to me, but at the same time I guess she's worried that she might seem rude. Sometimes, people can be so weird. I mean, if she doesn't want to talk to me, she should just make an excuse and walk away. I thought parties were supposed to be places where people relax, but there's something about this gathering that seems pretty unusual. For one thing, there's no music; for another, everyone seems very stiff and formal. There's no atmosphere; it's like a party on the moon.
"So you're here!" Samantha says suddenly, clearly trying to sound pleased. "I really didn't think you'd come, Juliet. I really, really... really didn't think you'd come! I thought you'd..." She sighs, and I can see the discomfort in her eyes. I knew she wouldn't be too pleased to see me, and frankly I'm impressed that she hasn't turned around and run away. "I don't know," she continues," I guess I just really didn't think you'd actually show up".
"You sent me an invitation," I reply flatly.
"Yeah," she says. "Actually, that was my Mom; she was in charge of the invitations, but..." Her smile fades for a moment, but she quickly remembers to look happy again. "I can't believe how long it's been since last time. You look... pretty good".
I glance down at my jeans and t-shirt, and then over at Samantha's bubblegum dress. She looks like a princess from some old fairytale, and it's tempting to think she should be riding around on a unicorn while some bland prince fights for her honor; we
couldn't look more different if we tried. "My father said I should come," I tell her. "I kind of thought maybe it wouldn't be a good idea, but he insisted and so here I am".
"Huh," Samantha says, before stepping closer to me.
"It's been a long time," I say, immediately realizing how bland and dull I must sound.
"Yeah," she says, fixing me with a determined stare.
"So how have you been?"
"Good. I've been good".
"That's good".
We fall into an awkward silence. Eventually, she leans closer. "Listen," she whispers, "I don't know why you're really here, but I just want to make one thing very clear". She pauses. "We're not friends, Juliet. We weren't friends back then, we're not friends now, and we're never going to be friends. I don't know what you want, coming here today, but I'm asking you to please not cause any problems, okay? The past is in the past, and that's where it should stay. Whatever you think you can do by showing up here today, out of the blue, I want you to just stop and reconsider. The last thing I want is to go raking over things that happened a long time ago".
"I just came to give you a gift," I reply, amused by the panic in her voice.
"Please leave," she hisses. "Thank you for the gift, it's very sweet, but you've given it to me so now please, please get the fuck out of here. Make an excuse, say you have to go somewhere, or say you're ill, but leave. I don't..." She pauses for a moment. "I don't want you here. It makes me uncomfortable".
"Juliet!" Mary calls out from across the room. She has a big grin on her face. "Come and meet someone!"
"Sorry," I say to Samantha. "Looks like I'm staying a little longer". With that, I turn and walk over to join Mary. I thought I'd hate coming here today, but I'm actually starting to think it might be fun. Glancing back at Samantha, I see the look of simmering hatred in her eyes, and I'm reminded of how things used to be between us. I can't believe I almost didn't come today. Something tells me I might actually enjoy myself.
Chapter Two
Eleven years ago
"So guess who's coming over today?" my father asks as he puts a place of buttered toast in front of me. He goes over to the fridge and takes out a jar of jam. "Juliet? Guess who's coming over today?"
I shrug.
"Your cousin Samantha".
My heart sinks a little. For as long as I can remember, I've hated Samantha. My parents have always had some kind of weird idea that in some way, the two of us should get along, so for a while they kept making us hang out together. I'd hoped that following my mother's death, those days were over. After all, Samantha's from my mother's side of the family, and I don't see why I have to see her again.
"Aren't you excited?" my father asks, taking a seat at the opposite end of the kitchen table. "I thought maybe you'd like to play with someone your own age for once?"
I spread some jam on the toast.
My father sighs. "Juliet, you've got to be more social. Dr. Larson and I are very worried about the fact that you don't have any friends. Can't you at least try to get along with Samantha?"
"I don't like her," I say.
"You barely know her!" he replies. "Juliet, I'm serious. Your mother might have thought it was okay for you to spend all day sitting in your room and watching TV, but things are different now. You need to develop some stronger social skills and the only way to do that is to spend time with other people. Even if it's awkward at first, you need to learn how to communicate and how to negotiate your way around a friendship".
"What time's she coming?" I ask. I'd planned to spend most of today in my room, reading and drawing. I guess that won't be possible now, not with Samantha turning up.
"She's coming at lunchtime," he says, "and she's staying for the afternoon". He pauses. "I really think you'll like spending time with her if you just give it a chance. She's not that bad, is she?"
I ignore him. He doesn't understand.
"If you don't want to be friends with Samantha, you can always make friends with someone else instead. To be totally blunt, I don't give a shit who your friend is, I just need to see that you can spend time with other kids".
"Yeah," I say quietly, before taking a bite of toast and jam.
"Yeah?" he says, sounding as if he's getting annoyed. "Yeah? Is that all you've got to say? Come on, Juliet. Show some enthusiasm. If you approach things with a negative attitude, you're never going to get very far. When Samantha gets here, you need to make her see that you're pleased to see her. Maybe you could think about what you want to do? What are your favorite games?"
"We'll go outside," I say.
"You want to play in the garden?"
I nod.
"That's a nice idea, but it's not really very warm. I was thinking maybe you could -"
"The garden's fun," I say, interrupting him. "I'd like to play in the garden".
He stares at me for a moment. "You haven't got another dead cat out there, have you?"
I shake my head.
"You promise?"
"Promise. I just thought that if we have to play, we might as well be outside. It's more fun. If we don't like it, we can always change our minds and come back in".
"Okay," he says after a brief pause. I can tell he's uncertain, but I guess he wants to give me the benefit of the doubt. All he wants is for me to spend the afternoon playing with a 'friend' like a normal girl. The problem, though, is that I'm not a normal girl. I'm evil. I've tried hiding it, and I've tried denying my nature, but ever since I managed to kill Martina, I've been absolutely certain that there's an evil heart beating in my chest. It's time to start showing my true nature, and I guess Samantha's visit might be the perfect opportunity to make a statement. After all, Samantha's a nice, friendly girl, so this seems like a good time to let my dark side show.
"Can we have a barbecue?" I ask, hoping to persuade my father that I'm becoming more enthusiastic.
"A barbecue?"
I smile. "It's fun! We can get burgers! Everyone likes burgers! I bet Samantha likes burgers!"
"It's a nice idea," my father says, clearly not convinced, "but have you seen the sky, Juliet? It's kind of overcast. There might even be a little rain later on".
"That doesn't matter," I continue. "We can put a cover over the barbecue and eat in the rain!" I pause, realizing that maybe I'm starting to veer off-track. After all, normal people don't barbecue in the rain. "Maybe next time," I say, deciding it would be better to curb any hint of weird behavior. "We'll just play outside if the weather's good, and we'll come in if it's bad". I pause for a moment, trying to think of the most normal food that a girl like me would ask to eat. "Can we have pizza?" I ask.
"Pizza?"
"Or burgers," I say, correcting myself quickly.
"Pizza or burgers," he replies, smiling. "I think I can sort something out".
I smile. This isn't actually as hard as I'd feared. All I have to do is think of the most boring, normal girl, and then imagine what she might do in any kind of situation. Then, I just mimic her thoughts and needs while I'm talking to my father. In fact, the easiest thing might be to just pretend that this normal girl is sitting next to me all the time.
"Do you want ice cream as well?" my father asks, clearly warming to the idea that I'm going to behave properly for the afternoon.
"Chocolate and strawberry!" I imagine the normal girl saying.
"Chocolate and strawberry!" I say, remembering to keep a big smile on my face.
"Well, that's just fine," he replies. "I've got to say, Juliet, I'm really pleased that you're throwing yourself into this. Dr. Larson said it'd take some time to bring about the necessary changes, but I think you're really ahead of the curve. I can tell from the look in your eyes that you're really looking forward to having Samantha come and visit".
"Of course I am," I imagine the normal girl saying. "It's going to be fun to have her here so we can play all afternoon".
"Of course I am," I say. "It's going to be fun to have her here so we can play all afternoon".
/> "Good girl," my father says, standing up and walking over to pat me on the shoulder before he carries our empty plates over to the sink.
Taking a deep breath, I find myself marveling at the ease with which I defused that situation. When I first went to see Dr. Larson, I thought it would be a simple job to manipulate people. I was wrong, but I kept working on different methods, and now I think I've got it all worked out. I suppose it's important to avoid becoming too confident, but right now I'm pretty pleased with myself. As far as my father's concerned, I'm a happy girl who's making plans to spend the afternoon with my cousin; he's probably marveling at how easy this whole thing has been, and wondering why my mother found it so hard to make me a better person. He'll learn. Soon he'll see that he's got it all wrong.
"I'm going to go and get ready," I say, standing up and hurrying through to my bedroom. As soon as I've got the door closed, I relax and let out a long sigh. Now that I've got some kind of plan worked out, I'm actually starting to look forward to Samantha's visit. I still don't know exactly what I'm going to do when she arrives, but the best thing is probably to just wait and see what happens. If I come up with some kind of forced, rigid plan, I'll struggle to get everything how I want it to be; instead, I can just stay alert and watch out for opportunities. If Samantha's here all afternoon, there's bound to be a chance for me to strike. By the end of the day, my father and everyone else will know exactly what kind of girl I am, and what I can do. Unable to help myself, I start laughing.
Chapter Three
Today
"I knew your mother when we were all at school," says Mr. Todd, one of the men at the party. He's a tired-looking guy wearing a dark brown suit, and he has the bored, defeated countenance of someone who has spent his entire life filled with regrets. "She was a pretty little thing. I had quite a crush on her for a while. I probably shouldn't say that, but it's true. She was very pretty. I used to go to Chess Club with her, but then she ended up meeting your father and the rest is history. Lucky man".