by Kiru Taye
“Hillcrest was a good school and I had a good time there. What I hated was being away from my father and giving my step-mum time to get her claws into him.”
“Hang on. I thought you get on well with her.”
She shrugged. “Yeah, we get on.”
“But?”
“But nothing. Forget I said anything.”
“If your step-mum did something to you, tell me.”
“What? So I can become a whiny, snivelling, helpless victim? I don’t think so. There’s nothing she can dish out that I can’t reciprocate.” She dug her phone out of her handbag.
Ike just stared at her. He really was seeing a whole new side to Gloria that he hadn’t seen before. He never knew there was animosity between her and her parent.
His phone beeped and he picked it up.
Meet us at Zik Hall in one hour, the message from Jocelyn read.
Okay. See you then, he replied.
“We’re going out in thirty minutes,” he said to Gloria.
“Where are we going?” she asked, not looking up from her phone.
“There’s a new restaurant that opened on Okpara Avenue, but first, I want to stop over somewhere first.”
***
Lara’s hands trembled and she squeezed them together as she glanced out of the window of the car. City life went on all around her. The cars, the pedestrians, the street vendors. All under a clear blue sky. She knew the temperature was hot out there although in the car, the AC was on full blast.
Jocelyn reached across and squeezed her hand. “You’re going to be all right.”
She nodded. “I know.”
For the first time in years, she truly believed it. The past two weeks had been life-changing for her. Just like the event that had put her on the path to mental breakdown.
Jocelyn had done as she’d promised. She’d started Lara on the road to recovery. No, she wasn’t fully healed. Jocelyn’s advice was to take one day at a time.
She was undergoing a treatment called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which involved learning how to control her fears and also unlearning some destructive habits she’d formed in relation to her fears and memories.
As part of the treatment, they were headed to the venue where her life had changed to confront her past. Jocelyn has arranged it along with the psychotherapist who’d been treating her.
As it was, this represented a big milestone. She had rarely visited Enugu during her time at University. Luckily, Judy had gotten a job in Portharcourt and had moved from Enugu. Lola was in Uniport. So Lara had had no reason to come here.
As they neared the university campus, her foot started bouncing against the floor mat in the car and she twisted her wristwatch around and around.
“Remember your breathing technique,” Jocelyn said as she covered Lara’s wrist with her hand.
She nodded and consciously slowed her breathing down, counting out the beats between inhaling and exhaling. It was a technique that helped her tone down her anxiety attack.
Jocelyn smiled at her when she relaxed back into the seat. The car pulled up in front of the Zik Hall building.
Jocelyn turned to her. “I’m going to be with you every step of the way. Ada is here, as well. You will always be safe. If at any point, you want to give in to your fear, remember that. Going into this building will trigger some memories. Some good and some bad. But remember they are just memories and can’t harm you unless you allow your fear to win.”
She nodded. “I know.”
“Good. Do you remember the traffic light signals? I’m going to ask you at each stage. You tell me if we’re at green, to keep going, yellow to take a break, and red to stop and get out.”
“Yes, I remember.”
“So what light are we at the moment?”
“Green. I want to get in there.”
“Come on. Let’s go and face your fear.”
Lara nodded and pushed the door open. She stepped out. Outside the building, Ada was already waiting with a man who introduced himself as the concierge.
She sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes. Then she opened them and walked into the structure. Although the place was relatively empty apart from the receptionist who greeted them, snatches of memories flooded her mind. The lobby had been heaving with partygoers the first time she’d been here.
There’d been conversation and laughter, people in a merry mood. She’d also been in a merry mood that day and looking forward to her first adult party.
“The hall that we hire out for parties is down this way,” the concierge said, drawing her attention once more.
“How are you doing? What’s the status?”
“Green,” she said, and followed the man down the corridor.
He unlocked the double doors and pushed them open. Light flooded in from the wide windows that lined the outer wall of the hall. Chairs and tables were packed flat against the edges, and the middle was just an open space.
She’d been led into this room by Malcolm who’d been holding her hand. The middle of the dance floor had been cleared. The DJ had started playing a slow number and Malcolm had pulled her into his arms for their dance since he was the celebrant and he’d chosen her for his first dance.
She’d been elated in that moment although every pair of eyes had been on them and she’d hated being the centre of attention. But it had felt good to be accepted by all the people around there because she’d been seen with Malcolm.
Unfortunately, she hadn’t realised her association with him would come with a great cost to her heart and sanity.
She remembered Ike grabbing her arm and wanting to drag her out of there. She remembered the anger on his face and her answering fury and the horrible things she’d said to him all because she’d seen him with some older girl going up to the rooms.
She wrapped her arms around herself and started rocking back and forth.
“Lara, slow your breathing.”
Jocelyn’s voice penetrated her memories.
She opened her eyes and took a slow, deep breath.
“What light are we on? It’s okay if you want a break.”
“Green. I don’t want to take a break. If I do, I might not finish this.”
“Okay.” Jocelyn turned to the concierge. “Can we go up to Room Ten now?”
The man nodded and they all walked out into the corridor as he locked the doors again. Then he led the way up the stairs.
Lara’s hands trembled and sweat broke on her forehead. She rubbed her palms together and bit her lip. Her anxiety was still there, but at least her mind no longer rushed to shut down as it usually did.
By the time she arrived in front of the open door to Room Ten, she was feeling faint and her feet wobbled like jelly.
“Can I take a break?” she said in a weak voice.
“Are we at yellow signal?”
She swallowed. “Yes. I need to sit down.”
“Can you bring us a chair, please?” Jocelyn asked the man who pulled one from the room into the corridor.
Lara sat on it with her back to the wall as she tried to gather her wits and not slip into full-blown panic.
Her life had been changed irrevocably in that room. Once she stepped into it, the memories would all come back.
“Do you mind waiting for us downstairs?” Jocelyn said to the man.
“Of course. Just bring the keys down to the reception when you’re done.”
“Thank you,” she said as he walked away.
It was now just Jocelyn, Ada, and Lara. It showed the level of Jocelyn’s professionalism that she wouldn’t allow a witness who wasn’t part of the therapy team or a close friend to be a part of this process.
“Do you want to talk about anything, Lara?” Jocelyn asked as she squatted in front of her.
She shook her head and sucked in another deep breath as she realised part of her panic had been that she didn’t want people she didn’t know seeing her in a weak state.
Feeling stronger, she sto
od up. “I’m ready to go in there.”
“Okay. Remember, it’s an empty room, and there’s nothing in there that can harm you.”
“I am safe,” she said as she took a step into the room.
It was indeed an empty room, apart from the medium-sized bed covered in a white sheet, paisley throw, and two pillows. A dark wardrobe stood in the corner, as well as a small table. The chair was missing but she assumed it was the same one she’d been sitting on. A small window covered in matching paisley drapes overlooked fields of well-maintained grass. There was a door leading to an en-suite bathroom. She knew that it was made up of white floor and wall tiles as well as white bath tub, WC, and units without going in there to look.
She sucked in a deep breath. The musky smell of the room transported her back to that night; the stuffiness of the room, the feeling of being suffocated, the crushing press of bodies, the hands holding her down, the rip of clothes and skin, the pain flooding through her again and again, crying and begging and still no mercy.
Nausea ripped through her and she rushed at the bathroom door, hearing it bang against the wall as she made it in time to the bowl to heave out everything in her stomach. She slid onto the cool tiles as her whole body shook and she dissolved into tears.
Ada and Jocelyn joined her on the floor, holding her body as she cried.
She lifted her head and pointed into the room. “They raped me in there.”
“What?” Ada asked in a shocked voice.
“They held me down and took their turns ripping through my body. I cried and begged them. But they stood there laughing at me. I thought he liked me. He said he did. It was their way of initiating me into the group. That I belonged to them. I was their whore.”
“Oh, God.” Ada had tears in her eyes.
“I don’t know how long I was here for. At one point, he took out a gun and pointed it to my head. Said he would kill me, my sister, and my aunt if I ever told anyone. Said that whenever he wanted me, I had to make myself available. I didn’t care about dying. I had lost a lot already. I didn’t want him to hurt Lola or Judy.”
“Who did this? Who are the people?” Ada sounded furious as she swiped her face.
“It was Malcolm and his gang.”
She broke down crying again and Ada pulled her into a tight hug.
They sat on the floor for a while until she was all cried out. Jocelyn gave her a bottle of water from which she drank a little. When she was more composed, they helped her back into the bedroom.
“How do you feel?” Jocelyn asked.
“I’m a little shaky but I’m good. Better than good. I feel as if my system has been flushed, if you get my meaning.”
“Yes, I understand. You did very well. Ike is on his way here with Gloria. I can tell him to meet us at the hotel if you don’t feel up to facing both of them.”
She shook her head. “No. Let them come. He needs to see where it happened.”
Chapter Twenty
“What are we doing at Zik Hall?” Gloria asked as the car pulled up in front of the building.
“I told you I had to do a stopover,” Ike said before turning to push the door open.
“Wait for us here,” Henry, who was sitting in the front passenger seat, said to the driver before stepping out.
Ike stepped out and sucked in a deep breath. This had been his university campus. The familiarity of the setting relaxed him a little, although the dread that had sat in his stomach since he’d boarded the flight to Enugu earlier on that day hadn’t gone away.
He hadn’t seen Lara in over two weeks and he would be seeing her today. How was she coping with her treatment? Was she fully recovered? It was such a short frame of time to speculate. But the fact that she’d made the trip back to Enugu was a good thing, according to Jocelyn.
Apparently, it was referred to as Exposure Therapy, where the patient was taken to visit the place where the traumatic event happened and they learned to control their fear by exposing them to the trauma in a safe way.
Cold sweat broke on his forehead and a sour taste sat in his mouth. He dreaded walking into the building and finding out exactly what had happened to Lara. But if she was brave enough to come here after so many years to face her fear, then he should also be able to face his.
Gloria came out of the car and crossed her arms over her chest. “What exactly is going on?”
He didn’t reply but took slow, heavy steps towards the building. Henry had come along today as support for him and to make sure Gloria did as she was told. He knew there was no love lost between his best friend and his fiancée. Henry was exactly the best person to keep Gloria from misbehaving.
His memories returned as he walked into the reception lobby. That night five years ago, he’d been invited to the party by Gloria. He’d arrived intent on drowning his loss of Lara in booze and women. By the time he’d stepped through the door, he’d already been slightly tipsy.
He strode up to the receptionist.
“Good afternoon, sir. How can I help?”
“Hello. We have an appointment in Room Ten.”
“Okay. Take the stairs up to the next level. It’s the last room on your right.”
“Thank you.” He turned around to see Henry holding Gloria’s arm. She didn’t look pleased, and Henry had a scowl on his face. Ike suppressed a smile.
Those two would make an impressive pair if they ever got over their hatred for each other. He nearly stumbled on a step at the thought. He was pairing his fiancée with his best friend? Had he already decided he wasn’t going through with the wedding? How was he going to reconcile that with the promises he’d made?
Sucking in a deep breath, he pushed that thought out of his mind. No need jumping the gun. One step at a time. Right now, he was more interested in seeing Lara.
He walked past Room Five and remembered what he’d done in there with Stella. If he’d known Lara was here that evening, would he have had sex with another girl?
His footstep became heavier as he walked closer to the room and at the same time, his heart raced because he would see Lara.
The door to the room was open. He saw Ada first. She sat on the bed, dabbing her eyes with a tissue.
The tingling sensation in his chest increased. He stepped through the door and saw Lara. She sat on a chair in the corner, and Jocelyn leaned against the table beside her.
Lara’s head was bent. As if in slow motion, she lifted it. He saw her red eyes. She’d been crying, too, although there were no tears. His legs acquired speed and he was across the floor before he could think about it. He went on his knees and pulled her into his arms. He squeezed her tight, afraid that if he let her go, she would vanish again, never to be seen.
“Ike.” It was Jocelyn trying to get his attention.
He tilted his head to look up at her.
“We have to complete the procedure. There’s something Lara wants to say to you.”
He nodded and looked at Lara. She met his gaze and smiled weakly. He stroked her cheek. “I’m listening.”
She glanced up at Jocelyn and they seemed to exchange a message.
“Ike, can you give her some space?”
He swallowed his disappointment at having to force a distance between the two of them. But he trusted that Jocelyn knew what she was doing. He gave Lara’s hand one last squeeze and stood up. There weren’t many options of where to sit, so he leaned against the wall by the door.
He heard the footsteps before Gloria appeared at the door. Lara’s body stiffened. Jocelyn leaned down and whispered something to her. Her chest rose and fell slowly and then she relaxed again.
Gloria frowned as she glared at everyone in the room. “Ike, what’s going on here?”
Jocelyn stepped up and held out her hand to Gloria. “You’re here because I asked Ike to bring you. I know you wouldn’t have come if you knew this was where you were coming. So I’m sorry for the deception.”
Gloria narrowed her eyes. “How do I know I can trust you when
you invite me to a place where everyone in it hates me?”
“Surely, you know that I don’t hate you, and neither does Ike,” Jocelyn said in a placating voice. “Come and sit down.”
“Just keep her far away from me.” She pointed at Ada.
Ada glared at Gloria before rising from the bed and sitting on the floor next to Lara’s chair. Gloria sat on the bed.
“Do you mind having Henry here?” Jocelyn asked.
Lara shook her head. “Don’t close the door.”
Henry stood just outside the threshold. “I’ll stay here and make sure no one is out on the corridor.”
“Thank you,” Ike said.
Jocelyn turned back to Lara. “Take your time. If you want to stop or take a break, let me know. Okay?”
Lara nodded and lifted her gaze to meet Ike’s. “I’m going to tell you what happened the night of Malcolm’s party.
Ike’s chest felt heavy as he struggled to breath.
***
“I wish I was going to the party,” Lola said in a sing song voice as they got outside.
“You’re too young for a party on a university campus,” Judy said. “I’m only letting Lara go because she’s eighteen and Malcolm promised he would bring her home safely.”
Lola and Judy got into the car as Lara locked the door. The gateman wasn’t around that day so she also had to lock the gates after the car pulled out. She was about to get into the vehicle when something made her look back.
On the road farther down her street was Ike’s car. She recognised the distinctive colour as well as the make and model. She hadn’t ever seen any other car like it before.
Her hand dropped from the car door and she started walking towards his vehicle. Ike was in it, waiting for her. He’d come to see her. Her heart floated as if in the clouds. She couldn’t wait to see him again. Hold him. Talk to him. It had been too long. He’d obviously changed his mind about splitting up with her.
Judy was shouting her name, calling her to come back. But she ignored her. Just as she got within touching distance of the car, it sprang forward and covered her with dust as it sped away.
She shouted for him to stop. But the car didn’t, disappearing around the corner. She paced up and down, muttering words she didn’t understand as tears rolled down her face.