She had made the best of it, she thought. Evidently, they had both made the best of it. After all, Charles had found something here that had been attractive enough to make him turn his back on his family and lie to them about what he was doing in Guthrie. It was time – past time – to face some hard facts, she thought. First of all, she had loved Charles, but she might not have married him if her parents hadn’t been so dead-set against it. She had been raised under their thumb and she’d been eager to set out on her own and show them that she had a good head on her shoulders. She had other suitors, but she had loved the way Charles had listened to her opinion and followed her advice. Her parents finding him poor husband material had supplied the extra push she’d needed to marry Charles.
Rubbing her hands up and down her face, she washed away the thoughts. Yesterday was yesterday and today is today. Today she had a new life in Guthrie and she was proving that she did, indeed, have a good head on her shoulders and could actually take care of herself. She didn’t need to lean on a man. Except that … it had felt so good to lean on Zachary and to be held in his arms. He was a man who took the lead, made decisions, but still listened to her point of view. In truth, he was the type of man she had dreamed of as a girl and her parents would certainly approve of him.
He’s also a man who doesn’t believe in marriage, an inner voice taunted her. She closed off that voice and told herself that people change their minds all the time. He was no exception.
Someone tapped softly at her door. Jennie glanced at Oliver as she crossed the room and opened it. Dottie Dandridge smiled at her.
“Zachary Warner is downstairs asking for you. Do you want me and Molly to come inside and stay with Oliver?”
“I think he’ll be fine. He’s asleep now,” Jennie whispered, moving across the threshold and closing the door softly behind her. “If he rouses up, he’ll come looking for me, but I think he’s out for the night.”
“Are you okay?” Dottie rested a hand on Jennie’s shoulder. “It’s terrible about that girl you knew being killed.”
“I didn’t know her well, but I knew that she was frightened.” She shrugged. “I didn’t know what I could do to help her.”
“Sometimes folks just have to help themselves.”
“Yes, I supposed you’re right.” She left Dottie and went downstairs to the parlor where she found Zachary talking with Mrs. Philpot.
“Here she is,” Mrs. Philpot said, reaching out clasp one of Jennie’s hands and give it a quick squeeze. “How’s Oliver?”
“Sleeping. He’ll be himself come morning, I’m sure.”
“That’s grand. I’ll leave you alone with your guest. Good night now.”
When they were alone, Zach took one of Jennie’s hands in his and led her to the settee. She sat down and he sat beside her, never letting go of her hand.
“You’ve had a bad day,” he said. “I’m glad that Oliver’s feeling better”
“What else have you learned about Stella’s death?”
“Not much. The sheriff and deputies are gathering information and talking to people who were at the Lantern last night.”
“Were you there?”
“At the Lantern?” He shook his head.
“I wish I could have helped her.”
“I know.”
“I wish you would have helped her.”
“How?” He stared at her for a few tense moments and then his expression softened. “You spoke to Stella, so you know that she wasn’t going to accuse anyone of anything. I’m mad as hell that this happened to her. Parks is going to answer for this – one way or another. I swear.” He ran his thumb across the back of her hand, warming the blood in her veins. “I had words with Luna yesterday.”
She hadn’t expected that and it made her sit up straighter. “Tell me about it.”
“I went by her house to goad her about Parks. I told her that he was bedding saloon girls and that I had mentioned his past as a cattle rustler to Judge Bishop.”
“You told the judge about that? Was he surprised or did he already know about it?”
“He didn’t know and he was fit to be tied. He was anxious to tell Luna about it. Poor bastard believed that she didn’t know that Parks had been in prison. I’m sure Luna will let him keep thinking that, too.”
“I bet she was hissing mad.”
He smiled. “She was and still is, probably.”
“So, there will be no hope of cooperation from her.”
“There never was any hope. I was fooling myself thinking I could melt the ice around her cold, cold heart.”
“If anyone could do it, it would be you.”
“Why, thank you.”
“To tell the truth, I thought you had already melted her heart once before.” She eased her hand from his and ran her palms against her skirt. Imagining him getting Luna’s goat delighted her, but something had been bothering her lately and she couldn’t hold it in any longer. “I’ve always felt that you and Luna had a history and that’s why you didn’t want me to talk to her.”
When he didn’t answer her, she glanced toward him. He shoved up from the settee and walked to the window, looked out, and then turned back to her. His expression told her that she wasn’t going to like what she was about to hear.
“You have no idea how much I wish I could deny that, Jennie. But I can’t.”
Chapter 13
Everything inside her was still for a few moments before her heart began to beat again and climb into her throat. Jennie hadn’t realized how much she wanted him to deny that he’d ever been involved with Luna until he had turned to look at her and she’d seen the sheen of regret in his eyes.
“Was she your lover?” she asked, barely aware that she had spoken aloud.
“God, no!” He ran a hand through his hair and golden strands fell onto his forehead. “Nothing like that.”
“What was it like then?”
“One night at a dance, it was soon after I arrived in Guthrie. We … I wasn’t at the dance with her, but when I left, she grabbed me and before I knew what was happening …” He gave her his back. “Aww, hell, I don’t know what I’m saying. It was one time and love had nothing to do with it. We didn’t even shed any clothing, if you get what I’m saying.”
Heat flamed in her cheeks and then she felt hot all over, quickly followed by a chill. She blocked the image that strained to bludgeon her. “That was all there was to it?”
“Yes.” He turned to face her again. “Yes, that was all. That was enough.”
Jennie released a long, cleansing breath. “I’m glad you told me. I’ve been wondering about it ever since we met. Were you afraid that she would tell me about it?”
He shook his head and sadness blanketed his expression. “Not really. I figured she’d get around to it eventually. What I was afraid of was how it would change what you think of me.”
Jennie directed her gaze away, finding his confession oddly touching. “I think you’re a man with a man’s urges and a man’s reactions.”
He sat next to her on the settee again. “I’m also a lucky man. Lucky that you have such a kind heart and forgiving nature.”
“I’ve been thinking about something else you said to me …” She looked at him through the concealing curtain of her lashes. “About how I’m used to getting my way.”
“I’m sorry if that hurt your feelings. I didn’t mean —.”
“No, you’re right. I did get used to making the decisions and taking the lead while I was married. But that doesn’t mean I wanted it that way. That’s just how it turned out. Charles was not very – well, he wasn’t industrious. His mother took the lead in their family and his father let her, so that’s what he expected from me. But I didn’t set out to be bossy and have my way all the time.”
“I don’t think I said you were bossy,” he said, smiling. “And I like a woman who is confident enough to voice an opinion and stand her ground.”
“You do?”
“I surely do.
Day in and day out, I deal with women who turned their lives over to men who were undeserving of their trust.”
“Like me.”
“Except that you didn’t fall into a stupor of despair while the world spun around you. Do you know how much admiration I have for you, Jennie?” He took her hands in his. “The day you came to our office and announced that you had rented a room in the boarding house and had secured a job, you could have knocked both me and Adam over with a feather! I knew then that you’re a fighter and that you weren’t going to let anyone keep you down.”
Pleasure curled through her like silken ribbons and she found herself wishing they were not in a parlor, but alone in his room. She wanted to be kissed by him, held in his arms. Swallowing the tension building in her throat, she cautioned herself not to allow her heart to lead where Zachary was not willing to follow.
“I had no idea,” she confessed. “I was in a stupor, though, and I only recently snapped out of it. I realized that I’ve been fooling myself into believing that my marriage was unchanged. But when Charles came back to us, he was different.”
“How?”
“We never … we weren’t a husband and wife anymore. We lived in the same house, slept in the same bed, but that was it. Every time we tried to rekindle our love, Charles would pull away from me. He kept saying that he didn’t deserve me.”
“He was right. That’s probably the most honest thing he ever said to you.”
Jennie felt her eyes widen at Zach’s biting tone. “I thought he felt guilty for spending all the money and coming back home with nothing to show for it. He knew how much I had hoped for a new beginning and a home of our own. I was so tired of living with his parents and having to be under his mother’s rule. A couple of times I thought that he wanted to confess something to me, but then he would become silent and withdrawn.”
“He was being eaten up with guilt,” Zach said.
“Yes, I can see that now.”
“I don’t want to speak ill of the dead, but he sounds like a spineless worm to me.”
By habit, she started to defend Charles, but she clamped down on the words that sprang to her lips. “He had his faults, but he could be a good man.”
“If he had any shred of honor, he would have told you about his shenanigans here. Have you ever wondered why he left like a thief in the night? He could have divorced Luna and kept the land, probably.”
She heaved an aggrieved sigh. “I don’t know and I’m beginning to think I will never understand that what happened to him or what he was thinking. I can only assume he become overwhelmed. He never liked confrontations. Any time there was a disagreement he would leave and stay away for hours, hoping the problem would resolve itself and it usually did.” She caught the look of disgust on his face. “I’m making him sound terrible and he wasn’t.”
“No?” Zach asked, clearly dubious.
“He was kind and gentle. I always felt safe with him. He loved to read and he read books and poetry to me and then to Oliver. He was shy, but in an attractive way.” She shifted on the settee, beginning to feel confined by the past. “But there’s no future living in the past – or clinging to memories.”
Zach took hold of her hands. “You’re remarkable.”
“No, I’m not.” She glanced at him in swift denial, but felt herself begin to relax. She loved the feel of her hands in his.
“You’re special, Jennie. No one holds a candle to you.”
Knowing she was flirting and not caring, she looked at him from beneath her lashes. “Apparently, Luna’s fire burned brighter than my poor, little candle.”
“Impossible,” he stated. “You make Luna look like a desperate tart.”
She stifled quick burst of laughter. “My, my! You really have burned your bridges with her.”
“There were no bridges to burn. She is simply an opponent to be bested.” He released Jennie to rub his hands over his thighs, as if to rub away the talk of Luna. “I only need to find the right move in this chess game we seem to be playing.”
“What piece will you play now?” she asked, sorry to lose his touch.
He shook his head. “I’ll wait a few days to see what Judge Bishop does with the information I gave him and see if the law catches up to Parks for what he did to Stella. If that land becomes a problem, Judge Bishop might decide Luna should sell it.”
“And I am in no position to purchase it.” She took a deep breath and released it in a sign of weariness and near defeat. “I hate to admit it, but it looks as if that land is out of my reach. You have told me as much from our first meeting, but I didn’t want to believe it or even contemplate it.”
“If it were solely in my power, that land would be yours.”
“I know. But there is only so much that you can do.”
“You mentioned once that you had letters Hastings wrote to you while he was here. Are any of those letters dated in the months that he was divorcing you and marrying Luna?”
“I believe so. Why?”
“They might help us prove to a judge that you were maligned. If it comes to down to trying to get something out of this for Oliver, we might be able to get the court to set aside some of the land in trust until Oliver is eighteen and can inherit it. You could be the caretaker or guardian of the land until that time.”
Had the room suddenly gotten brighter? It seemed so to Jennie. “That would be wonderful. At least, Oliver would get something from us. I hate to think that bad people will prevail. I guess I want the world to be fair and just.”
“So do I.”
She squeezed his hand. “That’s why you became a lawyer?”
“I suppose.” He squinted one eye, deep in thought for a few moments. “I like making order from chaos, so I took a job with a judge as an errand boy, but then I became a law clerk. The judge – Judge Rhineholt Botterbott, how that’s for a name?” He paused to share a chuckle with her. “Anyway, he saw something in me and offered to pay my way through law school. I swore I would pay him back and I did.” He bobbed one shoulder. “Or, at least, I paid him what he would take from me. I’m pretty sure I owed him more money, but he decided I had paid him enough.” He twisted the silver ring on his middle finger. “He gave me this.”
“I’ve wondered about that ring.” She took his hand in hers and examined the band more closely. The nugget of turquoise in the center of it was speckled with black and silver. “I thought this might be a family heirloom.”
“I think of him as family His hobby is silversmithing. He made this ring. It means a lot to me.”
“I can understand that. Why did you decide to leave and move to Guthrie?”
“Opportunities. I kept hearing that attorneys were flocking here and making money on divorces. I’d already had some success with divorce cases, so I took a chance and came here seeking my fortune – right along with everyone else.”
“You’ve done very well for yourself. I bet your parents were proud.”
His smile changed from pleasant to bitter in the space of a second. He slipped his hand from hers and stood up to pace to the window. Pulling aside the drapery, he looked out at the night. “I don’t keep in touch with them. I left their home when I was fifteen.”
“Why so young?”
“I was sick and tired of their constant arguing and fighting and cussing each other. That’s probably what led me to taking divorce cases. I wished my parents had the good sense to leave each other. They say that misery loves company. Well, my folks were a case study in that. They didn’t stay together for love of each other. They stuck it out for their children, but I don’t think any of us thought that was noble of them.”
“How many siblings do you have?”
“There were six of us, but only four are still living. One of my sisters died a few years ago in a fire and my oldest brother drowned a few years back.”
Jennie regarded him, feeling closer to him. It was as if he had thrown open a window in his soul, giving her a clearer view of his rocky lands
cape. She knew now that his belief that marriage was unnatural didn’t begin when he became a lawyer, but had taken root and flourished in his boyhood. In fact, she sensed that his distrust of marriage had more to do with what he’d witnessed as a boy than what he had as a man.
“But your parents are still together?”
“Yes.”
“Then they didn’t stay married just for their children. They must want to be together. Love wears many faces, Zach. Sometimes it’s hard to recognize it in others.”
He glanced over his shoulder at her and she could tell that he was turning over in his mind what she’d said. After a few moments, he gave a half-hearted shrug. “It’s getting late and I should go. I have case files to go over tonight and my first hearing tomorrow is scheduled at nine o’clock sharp. I just wanted to see that you’re all right.”
“Thank you for confiding in me, Zachary. I want to know about you.” She stood up and walked toward the front door with him. “I don’t suppose you’ve spoken to Adam about us.”
“No, but that’s only because I haven’t seen Adam except in passing.” He curled a finger under her chin to bring her gaze back up to his. “Don’t lose faith in me yet, Jennie. I’m still fighting the good fight for you.” He leaned down and brushed her lips lightly with his.
Standing in the doorway, she watched him go and imagined him as a boy of fifteen on his own, a fresh escapee from a loveless home. Every divorce case had reinforced his childhood memories of how a husband and wife could become bitter adversaries. Was it possible to change his mind? She wasn’t sure, but she knew she had to try because the stakes were high now.
She was falling in love with him.
Busily arranging the bolts of fabrics in the dry goods store so that they were grouped by color, Jennie straightened from the task and saw a woman with bright pink cheeks standing near her.
“Do you need assistance?” she asked as she had been trained to do by Rachel.
“You’re Jennie Hastings, ain’t you?”
“Yes. Do we know each other?”
“I’m Ruby. We ain’t met before now.”
Deborah Camp Page 19