by Daniel Romm
Realizing the day had arrived when she was to see and hear from Ben for the last time was more than Jenny could handle with equanimity. She was due for her annual physical checkup at the bio lab in an hour, an event she always viewed with trepidation; under the current circumstances it seemed a complete waste of time. Nevertheless, she went through with it if for no other reason than her doctor might prescribe medication to mitigate her distress.
“You're the acme of physical health,” said Doctor Scott while poring through a file brimming with charts, x-rays and test results.
“But my mental health isn't so hot. I feel listless most of the time and can't sleep.”
“Well it's no wonder. Most of us feel that way these days.”
“I've been handling it rather well but after tomorrow I will never see Ben again. My world will be out of kilter without him. Could you give me something to cheer me up?”
“Yes. But it will reduce your desire for sex.”
“Then I will start taking it tomorrow. After Ben's gone my sexual activity will be over so why have an itch if I can't scratch it?”
“Okay. But isn't there someone else who could comfort you in the days ahead and for whom you could return the favor? I plan on spending my remaining time on Earth in the arms of someone I cherish and I can't imagine a more exquisite way to fill the void. I'm sure Ben would want you to do the same with the right person.”
“I'll think about it,” she volunteered half-heartedly as she exited with prescription in hand.
For their Last Supper Jenny had painstakingly prepared a nutritionally well-balanced selection of Ben's favorites: heated sourdough French rolls; potato leek soup; Caesar salad topped with tomatoes, red onions and anchovies for zing; medium rare prime rib au jus with horseradish; steamed broccoli in melted butter; caramel ice cream capped with fudge topping and maraschino cherry; and a bottle of vintage zinfandel. The table was immaculately set with the delicately ornate porcelain china plates that were reserved for only the most distinguished occasions and in fact had never been previously used; Jenny had deemed no dinner guest worthy of them.
She met Ben at the door in the same dress she wore on their first date26 and it still fit perfectly. Handing her a bouquet of red carnations he said, “I remember that dress. When I first saw you in it I couldn't stop drooling.”
“You're drooling now,” said Jenny in an effort to hide her doldrums with humor.
“Yum, something smells great,” said Ben as he inhaled a succulent aroma coming from the kitchen.
“Oh, so that's why you're drooling.”
“No, you're the reason,” he replied, regretting the poor timing of his last remark. Surveying the table and noticing the wine he quickly changed the subject. “Let's start drinking.”
“I was just thinking the same thing.”
“How was your day?”
“Doctor Scott says I'm 100%. How was yours?”
“I've been found fit enough for the mission.”
The conversation was terser than usual. Each was being guarded lest something be said that might upset the other. They were also preoccupied with how to best express the tender feelings that would need to be shared later that night. But wine came to their aid by achieving the main purpose for which it exists. A few glasses eased the tension and words began to flow more easily.
“Oh my dear Ben, I can't bear to be without you,” blubbered Jenny with quivering voice as tears began to trickle down her cheeks. “Damn, here I go. I didn't want to behave this way.”
“I'd be concerned if you didn't,” Ben replied with a hug.
As she sobbed uncontrollably, the first time in over a month she had cried at all, the emotional release combined with his tender caress slowly lifted her spirits. “I'm sorry. I'll be all right now,” she spluttered as the cloud enveloping her began to evaporate.
Ben offered his handkerchief. After she dried her eyes, zipped into the kitchen to check the steaks and returned with the salads he said, “I'm worried about you. I'll have plenty to keep me busy at the Academy but what will you do after your panel is dismantled? Have you thought about it?”
“No.”
“I want you to be with someone. How about Jim?” he magnanimously, but sincerely, suggested.
“I can't imagine anyone else I'd even consider but without you I prefer to be alone.”
“You may feel that way now but you're being unwise. I'd be relieved if you promise to stay with him. I'm sure he would want that as well. I know you two are fond of each other.”
“I'm sorry to have to disappoint you but I would really rather not think about Jim tonight.”
▪▪▪
It wasn't long before the enormous gaping hole latched onto a wisp of solar energy, creating a long thin ray that resembled an unending lighted walkway leading from an illuminated heaven to the jaws of a murky hell. The abyss seemed to cover half the sky as it reached out hungrily to devour the sun, like a crocodile that has grasped a leg of its prey and is dragging it underwater. The weather had turned bitter cold but the ill-advised energy machine droned on, ironically providing warmth to the very life it was about to destroy.
Jim peered into the amber night sky through his spacious living room window from one end of a large leather sofa. Turning to Jenny at the other end he said pensively, “Now that we're all doomed equally I see how petty and immature I once was when I thought I was unluckier than others.”
“Yes. You were a mess way back then but success has improved your outlook.”
“Well today I had an epiphany. I realized I'm the luckiest guy in the world.”
“That's quite a change. What happened?”
“I recalled Solon's prophetic reply when Croesus claimed to be the happiest of men, ‘Count no man happy until his death.’”27
“Meaning?”
“Meaning until the end we are at best merely fortunate. Much can change for the worst during the remainder of one's life, turning happiness into misery. Then I thought, now that the end is close I really am the happiest man alive.”
“Why is that?”
“Because I'm spending my last days with you.”
“That's as gratifying and heartwarming a sentiment as anyone other than Ben has ever said to me. He beseeched me not to be alone after he was gone, but I was reluctant to comply.” Snuggling up and gently kissing Jim's cheek she said, “Now I know he was right.”
“These last few months with you have more than compensated for any adversity I had or any I could ever have had. I'm not greedy enough to say I wish it would last forever: a transcendent moment is good for a lifetime. The present is all anyone ever really has.”
“And none has ever been grander. I once told Ben I was tormented by the thought that mankind's past achievements were for naught. Now I realize they haven't been wasted after all. They were necessary to prepare us for the arrival of this very moment.”
“Yes. Solon's words were spoken millennia ago but have never been more inspirational than they were for me earlier today so near the end.”
As the fateful day inexorably loomed, people walked hand in hand wrapped in heavy woolen garments. Some sang, some talked, some just beamed. It was a special time. The sky looked a little different each night following its first noticeable change. Sometimes it was angry, sometimes melancholy, sometimes mysterious, and always eerie. Tonight it was lovingly warm, as if in deference to the dominant emotion swelling the hearts of all who were waiting for the climax. Most felt they would gladly have traded all their prior days and nights for this one. Joy is measured by intensity, not duration.
During the month everyone was more alive then he or she had ever been, probably more so than anyone had ever been since the beginning of time; all bristled with newfound energy. The breathtaking spectacle unfolding before their very eyes imbued each waking moment with awe and wonder. Every pore, every sense, every emotion, churned to the breaking point with the realization that history's final chapter was being written for only the
m to read: a chapter unlike any before and fully befitting a grand finale.
Dogs, cats, horses and other animals seemed to sense things were different now. Even the birds gamboling aloft chirped louder, oftener and merrier, as if to herald the truth that it was a magnificent time to be alive. No one wanted to sleep and no one did, at least not at night when things were most visible and one could comfortably look directly at the sun, whose throes had changed night into sunset and day into shadows. Its shape was no longer round, its surface no longer uniform. Viewed from a certain angle many thought they could see the face of God.
____________________
22 This assertion begs the question, “What is morality?” Some possible answers are briefly alluded to below, but it would take us too far afield to discuss this provocative, but difficult, question at length.
23 Known by philosophers as the theodicy problem
24 Most cogently in Beyond Good and Evil
25 In The Theory of the Moral Sentiments
26 This first date is not the same as the one in Part I (see footnote 28).
27 As recounted by Herodotus in his History
Part IV
Epilogue
The time for his excursion into the past had inescapably arrived and Ben was having second thoughts. “Why me? Why must I be the one to save mankind? No one has yet taken a journey like this one. That contraption has never even been tested. It will probably explode! If not maybe I'll be lucky and it won't even get off the ground so I won't have to risk my life. Then again maybe all will go as smoothly as predicted; the theory is very convincing. But either way my current life will come to an end. What to do?”
Then he recalled the calming advice he gave Alan Frost in the space station and a faint smile crossed his lips. “Who else is going to do it? Who else could do it? If the theory is hogwash or this gizmo doesn't work and I die in vain I will have lost only a few weeks to spend with my precious Jenny. Besides, I may die in an accident tomorrow even if I don't do this. But could I live with myself plagued by the nagging doubt that the plan might have succeeded? Definitely not! My decision-making process clearly indicates the pros of proceeding greatly outweigh the cons.
“If I back out now I might be responsible for the apocalyptic termination of all human life rather than its Salvation. God told Jesus His sacrifice was necessary and He would be rewarded in the Afterlife. I have only the words of fallible human scientists to put my faith in. But if they are right I too will have an afterlife in a new universe, with Jenny's presence as my reward.”
Putting aside his misgivings he entered the machine. After a brief pause he closed the door with sweating palms, dutifully set the dials as instructed, took a deep breath to still his palpitating heart and pushed the start button.
▪▪▪
When Ben finished riffling through the manuscript that had apparently materialized out of thin air in his apartment yesterday morning he found its contents at least remotely plausible. Furthermore, many of the equations of time travel were so mathematically imposing they could only have been derived at a future time. Although he couldn't quite grasp them at least he could find no obvious errors. In any event, since the risk analysis could be of paramount importance Ben decided to give the manuscript to Professor Richardson, fully confident he would know the best way to proceed. On the way he stopped in to see Jenny.28
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28 The events of this paragraph as well as all events that happen on May 3, 2297 (all of Part I) occur only in the new universe; all other events happening after May 3, 2297 (all of Part II, III and the other paragraphs of Part IV) occur only in the old universe; all events happening before May 3, 2297, whether referred to in Part I, II, III or IV, occur in both universes.
Part V (Appendix)
Is Quantum Theory True?*
Professor Smith subscribed to the theory that the harder something is to digest the more nourishing it will be so he tended to be pithy and somewhat abstract. He intentionally omitted details to force the audience to figure out how to fill in the gaps without his help. But he possessed a unique viewpoint on most matters and always provided a fresh perspective replete with many unanticipated twists and turns, so that sitting through his mind stretching but frequently long-winded lectures was always worth the effort. Ben served up his direct question, “Is quantum theory, as bizarre as it is, really true?”
The professor volleyed in his usual roundabout manner. “What is truth? Sir Francis Bacon29 reminds us Pontius Pilate asked that of Jesus but, alas, would not stay for an answer. We must explore this question first before trying to answer yours. There can be no such thing as indisputable universal truth unless one believes in solipsism.”
“What's solipsism?”
“Bishop Berkeley's ingenious proposition30 that God created only you, and all reality is no more than His Ideas operating on your imagination. I have restated this in verse form:
It seems as if I've always known
From somewhere deep within,
That all the schemes and all the dreams
Myself, alone, have ever been.”
“Not bad. You possess latent poetical talent. Still, the idea is a bit too intangible for my liking.”
“In that case universal truth doesn't exist in our world, which is why Plato refrained from positing an ideal ‘Truth’. But there are near truths that can be approached, as Peirce, William James and the other Pragmatic philosophers asserted.”
“Can this be expressed mathematically?”
“Zorn's lemma asserts that in any lattice of infinitely long chains there exists a unique maximal chain to which they all converge. In plain English, for our purposes a chain is merely a set of progressively more intricate, yet successful, tests where each one simultaneously reconfirms and extends the same initial theory in a consistent manner, and a lattice is a collection of such chains all pertaining to the same starting theory and each moving in a different direction than its rivals. The unique maximal chain they all approach is the one complete ‘true’ theory extended to all circumstances that could possibly fall within its scope. As of now Zorn's lemma is and will probably always remain a mere lemma. But if it could be proved it would support the assertion that all approximate partial truths approach the same unique ‘Absolute Truth’, which might be called ‘God’ or Aristotle's ‘Prime Mover’ or a Platonic ideal ‘Truth’ or some other such thing. The main contenders for universal truth are physical laws, historical events and non-tautological definitions, but all fall short of the goal.
“A reputed event requires a mere consensus of agreement among all firsthand observers to qualify as a probable truth, and the closer to unanimity the stronger the likelihood it will be dubbed indisputable. But humans are notoriously prone to err. Furthermore, even were all spectators to assent, there is always the chance that had one more been present at the scene he would have demurred.
“A non-tautological definition of either a real thing or a concept is not ‘true’ per se. At best it is only an asymptotic approximation to ‘truth’. No two trees are identical in every respect so there exists no unique ‘perfect’ tree, no ideal Platonic form of a tree, except in an approximate sense; at least not in our world. A ‘true’ ideal form of a tree or anything else would necessarily possess infinite attributes and we could never know them all at once so there is always a chance of discovering a new one. If one crops up we must either redefine or enlarge the class to include it. Thus no definition can be indisputably permanent or ‘absolute’ for us.
“Conversely, although reputed ‘facts’ and non-tautological definitions aren't absolute, neither are they purely arbitrary. ‘Facts’ are either false or mythic if they conflict with science. Definitions of things are amended if they are incomplete. Definitions of concepts are discarded as meaningless if they are internally inconsistent or if they conflict with human aims. Society is always negotiating the meaning of human truths.”
“How do we test a definition of a concept?
We can't use either direct observation or scientific experiments.”
“One way is dialectically, in other words with a series of yes or no questions that narrow the definition's scope so as to determine its applicability and consistency. This was the method Socrates used to rigorously define justice.31 Another way is empirically. Nazism was repugnant to most Germans and odious to other powerful antagonists to the point of overt counter-reaction; thankfully it was overthrown. A few delusional bigots tried to resurrect it in the late 20th century but the pestilence has now been wholly eradicated due to its futility as a viable type of government. It is now obsolete as a human concept although it still has a definition for purposes of discourse.
“Now to get back to your original question about quantum theory, let's consider physical laws. Although they are the most reliable form of earthly truth, Hume pointed out an insurmountable hurdle32 — even if a series of natural events has always followed the same course of action throughout human existence, such as if you let go of a heavy object and there is nothing to hold it up it will fall, that's no guarantee the same thing will occur the very next time, let alone forever. If it has never yet failed to happen it is extremely likely to continue, but that's not the same as saying it must happen as does every physical law, not just Newton's law of gravity. But we must put aside this irrefutable argument if science is to remain useful.
“Science does the best it can by demanding conformance to the correspondence principle: before any new theory can attain the status of a ‘law’ it must absorb and amplify all old ones that haven't yet failed any experimental test. But this falls far short of absolute certainty. Infinitely many possible scientific experiments can be contrived and the next test might disprove the ‘law’, in which case it will fall by the wayside and be replaced by a new one.
“Furthermore, all increases in knowledge have arisen from either the discovery of new methods of testing and/or new ‘facts’. These discoveries and methods are not without limit; they are inherently restricted by our inability to conceive all attributes of reality. The aspect of quantum theory most likely to withstand all efforts at disproof is the assertion that we create our own reality since it dodges the question of whether or not some form of concrete truth can exist even if it were impossible to be observed by us. As we are currently constituted there will always be a part of reality that is inaccessible. Bees can apparently see ultraviolet light but we can't even imagine, let alone see, a new color. This provides evidence that our sets of senses and modes of imagination are incomplete. The best we can do is hope to augment our senses by discovering new methods of detection, such as ultraviolet or infrared photography.”