by Holly Ryan
“I got two miracles, after all,” I say, not bothering to explain the whole two miracles thing further. “Even if the miracle involved butt dialing.”
He laughs as much as he can, considering the situation. “I guess it was a miracle. We’re both lucky.”
“I’m luckier than you.”
“You are. But I’m lucky I had my phone on me, and had the good sense to come over to make sure you were okay…” He kneads his forehead with his fingertips.
I take his hand and pull it down. “It’s okay.” It’s my turn to comfort him. “I’m fine, thanks to you. And all those things you just said? Those are still parts of my luck, you goof. Get your own luck.”
I don’t realize that I’ve fallen asleep against his warm, safe body until I’m awakened by the crackling of police radios. I open my eyes. There are four police officers lingering about, and they all look at me with concern. The questions pour out of them in a never-ending flow of words.
“Ma’am, what’s the last thing you remember? …And then what happened? Do you have any idea who did this to you? Is anyone out to hurt you?”
At that, Ethan interrupts, “There was an incident with a couple of kids from our school about a week ago. I gave the police all the information they needed, and it was reported. I was told this place would be under surveillance since then. What happened to that? Jesus, if I’d known it wasn’t–”
The cop barely looks up from his palm-sized notepad. “I’ll have to look into that. Mr…”
“Harrington.”
“Cole Ebbs.” My mind hurts, and it’s hard to concentrate on what everyone is saying, but I finally say the name loudly, clearly. I want there to be no mistake. I want them to catch him and give him the punishment he deserves, just like they did to Ethan’s father.
Everyone in the room looks at me.
“That’s who did this to me,” I explain. “Cole Ebbs.”
At the sound of Cole’s name, Ethan’s hand clenches into a fist and the flesh grows white.
The officer continues scribbling, then stops briefly to make a call on his radio.
Ethan and I stand close to one another, my arms crossed and tightly holding that blanket around me that Ethan placed over my shoulders.
While the officer is still on his radio, I turn to Ethan. “I need to call my mom.”
He nods.
He hands me his phone and I dial my mom’s number tentatively. It’s going to break my heart to give her this kind of news. This is the last thing she needed. Hell, God knows it’s the last thing I needed. But I’m worried she’ll feel like we’re be back at square one in regards to my healing. She might say it’s time for me to get back into therapy, even physical therapy, if need be, just to make sure I stay on track.
I bet the first thing that’ll come to her mind will be something along the lines of How in the world could something like this happen again?
And I’m afraid I won’t have an answer for her.
My hand starts to shake as I bring the phone up to my ear. I wrap my other arm around my center. “Excuse me,” I say to both Ethan and the cop. I head toward the corner of the living room for a bit of privacy. The ringing echoing in my ear is repetitive and torturous, too loud for my nerves to handle comfortably after what just happened.
In the middle of a ring, she picks up. “Hi, dear,” she says. Her voice is cheerful but hurried. Probably busy at work, as always. “I’m so sorry. I’m just getting out. I thought I would have to stay until nine thirty, but Sarah called at the last minute and she was able to cover for me.” On her end, I can hear the sound of wind whipping by the speaker.
“Mom,” I say. I’ve got to keep my voice calm.
“Yes.”
I hesitate, looking around. I can’t do this over the phone. I thought I could, but I can’t. She needs to be here to see for herself that I’m actually okay, that I’m not hurt, and that it’s not as bad as it sounds. Otherwise she’ll freak herself out.
“Mom, come home,” I say. “I just need you to come home now.”
“Why, what’s wrong?”
“Something happened, but I’m okay. Everyone’s okay and I don’t want you to worry. Do you hear me?”
The wind whips harder. “What? You don’t want me to worry? Avery, what happened?”
“Just please come home. I’ll tell you everything when you get here. Okay?”
“Are you alone? Is there at least someone there with you?” There’s contained panic in her voice.
“Ethan’s here with me.”
No need to mention the police officers just yet. She’ll discover that little surprise for herself when she arrives.
“Good. Then I’ll be there as soon as I can. I love you, Avery.”
“I love you, too, Mom. I’ll see you soon.” I disconnect our call and touch my forehead to the phone. That was hard.
Ethan approaches me from behind and gently touches my shoulder. I wipe a tear from the corner of my eye before turning to him. I place the phone back into his hand. Our fingers brush and we exchange shy smiles.
“How did that go?” he asks.
“It went. Actually, I didn’t tell her the whole story yet. I couldn’t do it over the phone so she’s on her way here.”
He scratches his head. “This should be interesting.”
“I know. It’s a good thing Cole’s not still here, or we might have to keep her from killing him.”
Ethan looks offended. “Might have to keep her from killing him? Avery, she’d have to get to him after I do. Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to resist killing that guy when I found you two? If he was still here, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself again. I’d end up in a prison cell right next to my dad.”
I hug him. “I believe y–”
The front door pops open. We both hear someone taking off their coat and stomping into the house.
It must be my mom. That was fast.
I rush toward the sound with Ethan trailing me. When I turn the corner into the hallway, Mara and I collide. She’s dressed in sweats and carrying a duffle bag in the crook of one arm, which she quickly drops on the floor. Her face is white.
“Oh my God, Avery! What happened?” She rushes into my arms.
A sigh of relief escapes me.
She pulls away and looks around. “I don’t talk to you for twenty minutes and something like this happens? Again? Please tell me you’re okay.”
I nod. “I’m okay.”
“Then what the hell happened?”
I knew she’d force me to explain every single thing, but it’s going to hurt to say these words. I fiddle with my wrist, rubbing the areas that are still sore from being pinned down. I briefly look down; I can see faded marks already forming. They’re the beginnings of circular bruises running around the entirety of my wrist bones like sick bracelets. They’re almost in the shape of his fingerprints. God, they better go away.
I lower my voice so those around us can’t hear. This isn’t something I want to share. “He came here,” I say. He came here. That barely even makes sense. Get it together, Avery.
“He came here?” She racks her brain. “He as in … Cole?”
I nod, and she tries to hide her gasp.
“What for?” she says. “Did he do something to you?”
I look down. “Yes. I’m okay, though.”
“Oh.” Her hand is against her mouth. “Oh, Avery. I wish I’d gotten here sooner.”
“I don’t,” I say. “Don’t say that. You could have been hurt.”
“But if I was here…”
“Mara, stop it. I’m fine. Besides, Ethan got here just in time.” I take Ethan’s hand.
Mara looks back and forth between us, obviously confused. Ethan looks right back at her.
Finally, Mara speaks, “I’m so confused right now.” She holds up her phone. “One of the last things you said to me was that you and Ethan were through. And now he’s here? What’s going on, Avery?”
I laugh, becau
se it’s the only logical thing. Really. I don’t have a good answer for her.
“Avery!”
I feel the vibrations of the front door slamming open through the house before I hear it happen.
I guess my mom’s here.
I release Ethan’s hand. I leap from his side and rush to her. This time, I don’t hear the sound of Ethan following behind me, and that’s good. He’s respecting our time together, and I appreciate it.
I fall into her arms like I’m a kid again. And for a moment, as I inhale the scent of her work scrubs and sweat, I feel like I am.
She hugs me tightly, cradling the back of my head, and then pushes me an arm’s length away. “Now tell me – what’s going on?”
“Come with me,” I say, leading her into the kitchen. The police will want to question her, I’m sure, and I don’t want them to get the jump on her just yet.
“I can’t take this any more, Avery.” She throws her purse down on the counter and uses one arm to hold herself up against the fridge. She touches her chest. “Why are the police here?”
I feel so bad for doing this to her. I pull out one of the tall stools of the center island and relax into it, finally recharging after that horrible ordeal.
“Tell me exactly what happened.”
I take a deep breath and point to the front door. I know my voice is going to crack as soon as I speak.
“All I did was answer the door…”
As predicted, I say the words and then I lose it. I bury my face in my hands and cry.
Instantly, my mom’s arms are around me once more, this time soothing me as though I wasn’t a child again, but an infant. A pathetic little infant who can’t even control her own emotions.
I pull away from her. “It was Cole,” I say through the fogginess of my tears.
The muscles of her jaw tighten. “Did he try to hurt you?”
I wipe my eyes with my sleeve. I nod. “Yes. He tried.”
She shakes her head. “I could kill him.”
“I know.”
I tell her about how Ethan came to my rescue.
“That boy…” she says. “That boy’s a good boy. I wasn’t sure of him at first, but I am now.”
I look away from her. She’s right. I know she is.
She goes on, “Thank God he was here for you. What if he hadn’t been here, Avery? I can’t believe we’re going through this again.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know, Mom. I don’t know and I don’t really want to think about that.”
“Well, I need to go thank him.”
I know where my mom is going with this. Before my attack, she believed in fate and everything happening the way it’s meant to with some kind of deeper meaning behind the workings of the universe, no reasonable explanation required. Now I see a hint of it returning. I wish the same be true for me, but I can’t stop thinking about the gaping hole between Ethan and me.
“You can,” I say.
“Ma’am?” One of the officers pokes his head into the kitchen. He looks at my mom. “Ma’am, do you live here?”
“I do, yes. I’m Avery’s mother.”
“Then if you don’t mind, we’ll need to ask you a few questions.”
My mom turns back to me. “That’s fine,” she says. She gives me her most loving smile and then goes with the officer. As she leaves, I hear her say, “I have some questions for you, too.”
And I’m left alone in the kitchen, finally in my own company. Having this moment to myself is bittersweet, and I take one more deep breath and slide off the chair. I have to stand up to move around before I overanalyze everything to death. Plus, I need to head back out there. I need to make sure my mom’s handling this okay.
Hopefully she’s handling it better than I am.
I begin to walk back to the living room, where all the commotion and conversation is still coming from, and when I’m almost to the exit of the kitchen, Ethan steps in front of me.
“Hey,” he says, a fake cheeriness to his voice. He slides his hands in his front pockets and looks down at me.
I want to bury my face in his chest again, but with my mom so close I only smile.
“So?” he says. “How’d it go?”
Those hands. He’s hiding those hands because he’s still ashamed. As he should be.
“You’re awful happy all of a sudden.” I turn back around and head toward the sink. Now that I think of it, I could really use a glass of water before I head back out there.
“Definitely not happy,” he says.
I pick a glass from the cupboard and fill it at sink. I gulp it all down right in front of him. Any of my remaining self-consciousness has long-since flown out the window. After all, Ethan did just save my life and rescue me from the most vulnerable position I’ve ever been in. I think he’s seen most everything I have to hide by now.
“Why,” I say plainly as soon as I’ve downed the entire glass.
He comes closer. “Well,” he says, “because of what just happened to you, for one. Because of that…”
What, Ethan? That monster? That bastard? Pick and choose – the adjectives are up for grabs.
He’s trying to contain himself. The thought of that bastard monster does that to me, too.
“…that jerk,” he finishes. He’s definitely censored his choice of words for my sake. He walks a few feet away and takes the very seat I was just sitting in. “Cole. Who is that guy to you, anyway?”
I set the glass down in the sink. I guess there’s no dancing around this one. “He was my boyfriend.”
Ethan’s eyes grow wide in reaction to my honesty.
It’s his turn. “Well, who is he to you?” I only ask because the rage in Ethan’s eyes when he says Cole’s name, and the way he talks about him, tells me there’s more there.
“I guess you could say he used to be my friend.”
That straightforward answer gives me a bit of confidence. “How could he be your friend when he used to date Julia Crane? I thought that’s like an unspoken guy code.”
He smiles again. “I’m confused. You thought what’s an unspoken guy code?”
I fiddle with a dishrag next to the sink. “You know. Aren’t guys who date the same girl supposed to be enemies? I thought that’s how it works.”
As sucky a subject as this is, I like talking about it in the face of what just happened and what’s still going on in the next room. It’s lighthearted.
Ethan’s smile spreads across his face. That smile of his is contagious, and I laugh at my own foolishness, too.
“Wait a minute,” he says. “You think I used to date Julia Crane?”
“Well, yeah.” I pause to regard him more closely. “You didn’t?”
He’s serious now, there’s no mistaking that. “No. No, Avery. Where did you hear that?”
I turn my head, embarrassed. “I didn’t hear it from anybody. It’s just– it’s something I assumed.”
“Do you always believe what you assume?”
I shrug.
“Please don’t tell me you’ve been thinking this the whole time.”
“Come on. You’re too good looking to not have dated her.” I realize perfectly well how ridiculous I sound.
He crosses his arms and leans forward on his elbows. “Is that right?”
Ethan
“Listen.” I take her by the hand after the police have wrapped up their questioning. They made no more false promises of watching the house; instead, they told Avery and her mom that it might be wise to stay in a hotel for a while.
“Whatever you’re about to say, can it wait? I’ve got to get some fresh air.”
“How about some Dairy Queen?” I smirk, trying to cheer her up, all while my mind is torn. No, it can’t wait.
“A sugar high. Nice. I could use one of those.”
The Dairy Queen is only a few blocks from the hotel, so we decide to walk. As Avery gets ready to go, I twiddle my fingers nervously.
“We should take my truck,” I s
ay. “You shouldn’t wear yourself out after everything that happened tonight.”
“I’m fine. Besides, it’ll do me good. Fresh air, you know?” She starts walking toward the door.
I can’t stop her, so I follow closely. The sky is cloudy and the tops of the trees are whipping in the wind.
“Avery,” I say loudly.
She turns, her mouth tilted up but her eyes confused. She’s still holding that blanket around her, the one I placed around her at her house.
“You’re going to have to make a choice.” I look her dead in the eyes without faltering my gaze. I swing out my arms. “Because I can’t do this. I’ll stay by your side through anything, but I need to know if you can stand by mine.”
She looks down.
I walk up to her and she doesn’t resist the advance. I show her my hands. “Or if the fact that these remind you of what my father did to you will keep eating away at you until you can’t take it anymore.”
She doesn’t answer. She doesn’t even look at me.
“You’ve been on my mind ever since I first saw you in the hospital, and I still think about you all the time. Do you know that?”
She looks further away in embarrassment but I take her chin, guiding her back to me. “Avery, I love the way you smell. I love how you try to hide the way you laugh at yourself when you crack the worst jokes. I love everything that makes you you. Even the parts you don’t.”
She watches me wide-eyed without saying a word, me still holding her chin, her eyes growing moist.
“If you want me to go, I’ll go,” I say. “I’ll try to carry on with my life the same way I always have since all this stuff with my dad happened, before you were in it. I’ll figure out how to move on without you. But I’m telling you it’ll be hard as hell, Avery.” My voice trembles. I release her and clear my throat. “Do you want me to go?”
Avery
I search his eyes deeply, and in doing so I search his soul.
“I want to go to the truck,” I say, staring. “Please, let’s go to the truck.”
He stands up, away from me, and his head sinks. His shoulders tense and his hands go to his pockets. I know him; I know what he’s doing. He’s closing down.