Breathe You (Pieces of Broken Book 2)

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Breathe You (Pieces of Broken Book 2) Page 17

by Celeste Grande


  My line of sight swung back to Drew who dropped his fork and stood, his chest broadening before my eyes. “There’re only three people who are allowed to get that close to her. One is me, the other is gay, and you better pray I find out you’re the third.”

  I rose to my feet quickly, as did Blake. Pushing one palm into his chest, I held the other out across the table in Drew’s direction, calming the over-protective beast. He had never met Blake, and for all he knew, this could have been Damon, so I didn’t blame him, but he didn’t need to come on so strong.

  “Drew,” I warned. “This is Blake. Blake, this is Drew, and he’s a friend.” I tried to accentuate the word friend, even though I was sure the vein protruding from Blake’s neck wasn’t paying attention.

  Drew’s shoulders relaxed marginally, although the rigidity in them still sat around the edges, tensing his jaw with a tight-lipped smile that didn’t reach his eyes. Drew wasn’t used to trusting people and it was obvious from the moment he first met someone that he was sizing them up and deciding whether or not he deemed them trustworthy. “Ah, the infamous. Hat’s off to you, bro.” I couldn’t tell if he was being serious or sarcastic.

  “Eva, is there a reason why this clown is giving me permission to be near you?” Blake scowled at Drew, seeming as though he were standing on a bed of needles.

  Their eyes never unlocked, the testosterone-infused air zapping between them like a live wire. They were both so important to me, but I’d never thought this part through. I wanted to talk to Blake privately, break him in softly to the idea that I had become so close to another guy in his absence. Reassure him that Drew could never take his place. My eyes skirted around, discerning if anyone was watching although the guys didn’t seem to be fazed by our audience. I was met by the wide eyes of a couple of teenagers at the table next to us whose eyes skirted away from mine as heat swelled in my cheeks.

  Drew shook his head with a sarcastic laugh, his eyes downcast. “As much as I’d love to jump all over that statement, I care too much about her to do it.” His line of sight locked with Blake’s once again. “I’ll accept your apology for the name calling when you’re ready to offer it.” Drew rounded the table and held his arms open for a hug from me. “I’m gonna bounce. I’ll see you tonight.”

  “See ya.” I stepped into him, and he wrapped his arms around me, lingering a few seconds longer than comfortable as he, no doubt, stared over my shoulder at Blake thanks to his jab. A pit solidified in my stomach, weighing it down with a hefty twist.

  “Find your happy,” Drew whispered in my ear. When he finally pulled back, he placed a kiss on my cheek and cupped my face in his hands. “Take care of her,” he commanded Blake, still looking at me. I took a step back, and Blake's hands covered my shoulders once again.

  “I always do,” Blake responded, but Drew was already walking away.

  With a deep breath, I turned to face Blake. He was staring in the direction Drew had walked off in with a hard set to his jaw, although the boyish uncertainty swimming in the blue pools of his eyes gave away how nervous this all made him. “Wanna tell me who that was and what that was all about, Angel? Because I’m freaking the fuck out right now and praying there's a good explanation.”

  I sighed. “He’s just a friend, Blake. I was only having lunch.”

  “Why didn’t you mention him?” His eyes finally met mine, and the unspoken accusation I saw there stiffened my spine.

  “I didn’t get to.” What is this? I understood that a lot happened between us, but the look on his face—the one telling me that he didn’t trust my word, my actions—it cut deep. I searched his eyes, looking for my easy-going mate to return, but he didn’t. After our time at Bertha the other day, I thought we were finally at a good starting point, but now I wasn’t so sure as Blake looked at me, harsh and unforgiving. I got that he was scared, unsure, upset even, but I had no intention of hiding my friendship with Drew and I hadn’t done anything wrong. “What is all this?”

  “I don’t know, babe.” His sarcastic tone overrode the term of endearment. “You tell me. You cut me out of your life for months, and here I am thinking you’re having a hard time when you’re actually hanging out with some dude. You guys looked quite cozy if you ask me. That doesn’t happen overnight.”

  Whoa. “Blake, it’s not like that.” I tried to make him see. “He’s a friend. I’m sorry I didn’t get to warn you, but there’s nothing going on between us.” I covered his forearm with my hand, trying to make him see my side of things.

  Blake dropped his arm, and mine fell to my side. I gulped, recouping for a second before crossing my arms in front of my chest, anger beginning to take the place of the sympathy I was feeling. “What’s with the caveman attitude? Am I some piece of property now?” Frustration at the feeling of being controlled when I was finally starting to gain my independence angered me. “Why every male in my life thinks he owns me is beyond my comprehension.”

  His edges softened, but a pained expression twisted his eyes, a defense mechanism kicking in. He held up his palms. “Hey, listen. Trust me, I’m quite aware of the fact that I don’t hold a claim over you,” he half-growled. “You’ve made that painfully obvious. But I was just wondering, for as much as you say that you love—” He cleared his throat. “Loved me,” he corrected, squaring his eyes, “why it is that I needed to promise you my first born to get the time of day out of you, and yet here you are, all giddy with some stranger not long after we’ve broken up? Kinda cheapens what we had, no?” His voice cracked on that last word, a small fracture in its sound as he fisted his hips, his eyebrows pulled so far into the center they created a ripple as he waited with hollow breath for my response.

  I didn’t want him under the impression I could be controlled, but my intention wasn’t to push him away or make him feel insecure either.

  “Don’t go there, Blake. Nothing will ever cheapen what we have, and you know it.” I softened my voice, sympathy creeping back in to cover the bits of anger I was feeling. “Drew and I have never been anything more than friends. He’s had a rough life, too, so we’ve been able to connect. He teaches self-defense, and he’s been training me. That’s why we’ve gotten close. But he would never take your place. No one could.” I waited, letting that sink in. “I’ll talk to him and tell him to lighten up with you, too, but you can't go getting all territorial with me. I don’t want to feel controlled anymore.”

  I didn’t know where that had come from, but as the words passed my lips, they tasted good. I’d never realized how free I was beginning to feel and I didn’t want to lose that. If Blake was going to be with me, he was going to be with me as an individual. I didn’t want to be dependent on anything anymore. Not even him.

  Blake’s shoulders sagged. “I wasn’t trying to control you, Angel. You know me better than that. At least I thought you did.” He paused, his face squishing in to mirror pain.

  “I know that. But the way you just got all possessive and stuff, I didn’t like how it felt. I want to be my own person, stand on my own two feet. You can understand that, can’t you?” I implored, needing him to see me as an individual as well as a half to our whole.

  Blake rushed a hand through his hair. “Yes. No. I just . . .” His breath left him on a defeated puff as he shook his head. “I feel like I don’t even know you anymore. You’re so distant, and you’ve pushed me so far out of your life. It makes me wonder if what we had was just a figment of my imagination.” A light dawned in his eyes then, his features smoothing in recognition as the interrogation fled his face. He put his hands in his pockets, and his eyes drifted away to a far off place while a sarcastic little laugh fell from his mouth. I faintly registered him whispering the word “unicorn” before he looked back to me, his voice sturdier. “I always knew that was fitting.” His blue eyes met mine, and the coolness I saw there soaked with regret terrified me. A gate was coming down in front of him, I knew it all too well. Don’t lose him.

  “Blake—”

  He s
traightened, strength bulking up his stature as an emotionless expression sat on his face. “Don’t. I’ll get out of your hair. You’re right, it was stupid of me to barge back into your life when I don’t belong there anymore.” When he went to turn away, I put my hand on his forearm.

  “Blake, stop . . .”

  He paused and glanced down at my hand, hurt crackling amidst the icy blue of his eyes showing how his air was strangled as his tongue slipped over his teeth behind his lip. His face pinched in pain. “Does he know?” The words floated on a broken whisper.

  Another crack to my heart.

  His gaze lifted to meet mine, a twinkling of moisture speaking for itself behind the question lying there. “Does he know everything?”

  I swallowed hard. I knew I had my reasons for telling Drew the whole story, and I knew my reasons for withholding it from Blake were just as valid. But when faced with the hurt in that one tiny question, I was second-guessing the whole thing, scared of what the prospect of him knowing would do to him. To us. But I didn’t want any lies between us. I deflated, my insides already feeling what was coming, the disconnect, the hurt. “Yeah. He does.”

  “Humph.” The weight of his breath left through another sarcastic smile. He shook his head, glancing down.

  “Blake . . .” I wanted to coax him into seeing reason but my hand dropped to my side as he began to walk away. No.

  He stopped, only partially facing me. “Did it ever cross your mind that I could’ve been that for you?” His eyes cut to mine. Betrayal and disappointment were all I could find there. “I could’ve been whatever you needed me to be. Your help. Your trainer. Your anything. You never even considered it, did you? Never had the faith that I would find a way.”

  I sagged. “You know I couldn’t do that. It’s complicated.” Although I wanted him to understand my reasoning, I could understand why he didn’t. He didn’t know the reasons why we had to stay apart all that time. Why I couldn’t share with him the name of the person who had hurt me. He didn’t know that it was all for him.

  “You’re right, it is. And I don’t have the head for it anymore.” He placed a soft, lingering kiss on my cheek, the warmth of his lips contradicting the chill that ran through me. An overwhelming sense of finality rested there in their wake. He pulled back to look at me one final time. “Thanks, Angel.” He swallowed, collecting himself before his eyes slid back to mine. “You just made this a lot easier.” He turned his back and left me here, staring into his vacated air.

  BLAKE

  SHE JUST LEFT hooked me in the fucking jaw.

  I’d been naive enough to believe there was a chance for us. Floating around like a happy idiot, thinking we were on our path to finding our way back to each other after our afternoon at Bertha. Stupid. I was so fucking stupid. Again.

  When I first saw her sitting there, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was sure it was her, though—laughing, giggling, reaching across the table to touch his arm. All I could register were the surges of white-hot flashes barreling through my veins, the sound of blood pumping ferociously in my ears, the sickening punch to my guts.

  Without thinking, I moved past the glass of the storefront and entered the busy midday crowd of the pizzeria, praying it wasn’t what it looked like. After everything I had given her, all the time I had waited, could she really do this to me?

  All I knew when it came to her was that she was mine—even if she wasn’t. And in a move that may have admittedly been a bit dickish, I interrupted their meal with the slip of my arm around her neck. But Angel’s shoulders tensed. Her reaction to my touch should never be one of discomfort, and the fact that it was served as a slap in the face.

  The look on the fucker’s face was enough to make me want to lunge across the table at him. I didn’t know who he thought he was talking to, acting like he was going to protect her from me. She had obviously never told him who I was, which served as a second slap.

  When we all wound up on our feet, the look in Angel’s eyes was one of part fright, part discomfort. I hadn’t wanted to upset her, but what the fuck was this? All this time I’d thought once she healed, we’d be back together. Or even if we weren’t, I didn’t think she’d run into the next set of open arms.

  She rushed to assure me he was just a friend, but the possessive look in this guy’s eyes begged to differ. He had something for her, I could feel it.

  I bit the inside of my cheek, forcing myself to be courteous enough to let her explain why, when all I wanted to do was tear through that place. When she turned to me, the apprehension on her face scared the piss out of me. And when she crossed her arms over her chest, I realized her concern was for him, not me.

  Slap number three.

  Then came the full-out punch. She had confided in him. She felt comfortable enough with this stranger to tell him what had happened to her when I still didn’t know the whole truth.

  How could she?

  I was supposed to be her rock, the place where she was comfortable enough to just be her. And now it seemed like everything I’d thought we had was a fucking lie. A game. And the joke was on me. How many times could I let this girl trash me before I learned my lesson? Took her fucking hint instead of dangling from her measly little string. If I let it keep going, she was going to leave me in a pile of dust.

  So I left.

  The realization that we were really done slammed into me like a bag of rocks, and I didn’t want her to see me break. When I left her standing there, I didn’t know where I should go. Every turn always seemed to lead back to her. I’d never felt so lost.

  “She loves you, ya know.”

  That voice stopped me.

  Who the fuck was he to tell me how she was feeling? Had we really grown that far apart? “What are you, some kind of authority?” I couldn’t hide the venom in my voice. I had controlled myself once, but this guy should know better than to approach me again.

  “Something like that.” The assuredness in his tone, talking about my girl, made me want to break his jaw.

  With clenched fists, I turned to face him. My whole body was rigid and erect, each molecule ready to pounce if needed. As defeated as I felt, prodding me would be like antagonizing a rabid dog. My emotions were so all over the place that I didn’t even recognize myself anymore, she had me so ragged. And I didn’t know what to expect from myself at the moment. “Watch it, man. I’ve had just about as much as I can take where she’s concerned. I’d tread lightly if I were you.”

  He studied me, seeming to size me up, sending a bunch of discomfort racing up my spine.

  What’s this guy’s story?

  Rolling up from the squat he was holding against the building, he brushed off the front of his thighs before walking toward me. “You can relax, man. I’m not after your girl.”

  Tiny pebbles began to flake from my stoned exterior, that small feeling of relief nearly bringing me to my knees. I hadn’t realized how wound I was, but I knew I was one more encounter closer to an inevitable heart attack.

  “So what was that whole show in there?” I jerked my chin toward the pizzeria.

  Drew sighed, releasing a big puff of air. “Listen, I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a time I hadn’t hoped to be with her, but it’s not our fate. She’s wrapped up in you.” He threw a hand toward me, then paused, letting me soak that in. “And we’ve become good friends. All I want is for her to be happy. I really mean that.” He clapped me on the shoulder and held his other hand out to me.

  I stared down at it, unsure of what to do. My mind raced through all of the emotional beatings I’d had to endure at this girl’s hand.

  His voice lost its edge. “I mean it, dude. Far be it from me to stand in the way of what she wants. I can tell you love her as much as she loves you. I just want to protect her. We’re on the same side.”

  I dragged my line of sight from his hand to his eyes to see if I saw any deceit there, but I didn't. Even if he did have feelings for her, I could tell that him wanting what was best for h
er trumped them. He pushed his hand toward me, and I clasped mine with his. We both cinched tight, squeezing just a pinch more than necessary as silent threats passed between us. I hardened my voice to match the fire in my eyes.

  “Don’t make me regret this.”

  EVA

  I DIDN’T GO after him when he left me standing there. I wouldn’t know what to say. On the one hand, I was upset that I’d had to defend myself when I hadn’t done anything wrong. But on the other hand, I got it. The hurt in his eyes and knowing I had caused it felt like my body was covered with tiny paper cuts and doused with vinegar.

  I unlocked the door to my apartment and tossed my keys into the fishbowl by the door. Once I was hidden away inside, I fisted my hips and looked down, trying to gather my thoughts. I’d spent these last few months trying to get my life back—my identity, my strength. I hoped, in the process, I hadn’t lost another piece of myself, of my heart. How could I let him walk away while under the impression he’d meant anything less than everything to me? My Blake?

  I filled a glass of water and opened the door to the balcony, allowing new air to filter in. It smelled like spring. My gaze dropped to the box of dirt that I’d continued to water in the hopes it would show signs of new life, and something caught my eye as the last drop splashed off the contents. Something green and new.

  The sting of me falling to my knees was nothing compared to the squeezing burn in my heart.

  Forget not in life there are do-overs.

  Second chances.

  I covered my face and curled forward, rocking. “Oh, Blake.”

  What have I done?

  I rubbed my finger along the engraving in the front of the box—To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.

  Did I believe? I felt strong. Like I’d been revived physically, mentally. But something was still lacking. My heart. I was doing it all without my heart. How could it ever truly work without that?

 

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