by Susan Stoker
She frowned at him wryly. “Yeah, I am.”
“You always get the good ones,” Arrow told Gray, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest in a good imitation of a pout.
Gray glared at his friend once more before turning his gaze to Allye. “Stay,” he said again. “At least for tonight. We’ll see what Meat has found out, and, if necessary, I’ll make arrangements for you to go back Sunday night.”
Allye thought about that. It wasn’t as if she had anything to do this weekend. And as long as she got back before rehearsal on Monday, no one would even know she was gone. “Where would I stay?”
“With me,” Gray said immediately.
Allye wasn’t stupid. She was well aware of the feelings she had toward Gray but wasn’t sure what he thought about her. Would he ask her to stay at his place if he didn’t like her at least a little bit? What if he just felt responsible for her? Like, since he’d saved her life once, he wanted to make sure she was safe now? It wasn’t as if she had a lot of options. She could stay at a hotel, but she didn’t have a ton of disposable income. Living in San Francisco was expensive. Most of her salary went toward rent and food.
Gray didn’t press her. Didn’t plead his case, simply waited for her to make a decision. Which actually made it harder. If he’d pushed, she could’ve given in gracefully.
Throwing caution to the wind, Allye made her decision. “Okay. But just until tomorrow. I really do have to get home.”
With that, Meat’s hand darted out, and he snatched the flash drive off the table like an experienced pickpocket. He was up and moving toward the door before Allye could think about protesting or even moving.
“I’ll be in touch,” Meat called out as he disappeared through the door to the other part of the bar.
Allye looked at Gray with a hint of concern.
“He’ll take good care of it,” he soothed. “He’ll get the information to Rex, and Rex will do his thing too. You made the right decision in bringing this to us.”
“I didn’t bring it to you,” Allye grumbled. “I thought I was bringing it to Rex.”
“Rex is us, and we are Rex,” Ball said philosophically.
Allye rolled her eyes. When she was done, Gray was looking at her and smiling.
“What?”
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I missed those eye rolls,” he told her, then stood, not giving her a chance to respond.
“You’ll let us know what’s up, right?” Black asked, also standing.
“Of course,” Gray said.
“Should we plan to meet back here tomorrow?” Ro asked.
“Let’s play it by ear. Rex might contact us with different plans after getting whatever information is on that drive,” Gray told him.
“See you both soon,” Ro said. “I’ll close out the tab with Dave on my way out.”
“’Preciate it,” Gray said.
The others left, and then Allye and Gray were the only two at the table.
“You hungry?” Gray asked her.
“A little,” Allye admitted.
“Come on. I’ll stop at the store and get us some steaks on the way home.”
“I don’t eat meat,” she told him as they headed for the doorway.
Gray stopped in his tracks. “You don’t?”
“Nope. But I wouldn’t be opposed to some grilled veggies or something.”
It was Gray’s turn to roll his eyes, but he took her hand in his and continued toward the door. “Whatever.”
Allye giggled. They stopped by the bar to say bye to Dave and to grab her backpack, then they were headed out of The Pit to Gray’s two-door black car.
“What kind of car is this?” Allye asked as he held open the passenger-side door.
“Audi S5,” he told her.
He walked around the vehicle and lowered himself into the driver’s seat. He looked even bigger sitting next to her in the small space. “I’ve never heard of it, but it’s nice.”
He smiled over at her. “Yeah. And more importantly, she’s got some power under her hood.”
Allye rolled her eyes at him as he started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot, presumably heading toward the store.
“What do you mean, she’s not there?” Nightingale huffed into the phone. “It was your job to watch her and know where she was at all times.”
“I’m sorry, sir. After we talked last night, and I thought she was in for the night, I went and got something to eat. When I came back, the lights were still on in her apartment, and I figured she was still there. When she didn’t leave her apartment to go to the store, like she does every Saturday morning, I pretended to be someone who was looking for a friend so I could check on her. She’s not there.”
Nightingale ground his teeth together. “Find her, you idiot! I want to know where she is and who she’s with. Got it?”
“Yes, sir. I’ll be in touch.”
Nightingale clicked off the phone and paced. Allyson Mystic was his. She had no right to go anywhere without his knowledge. The sooner he had her under lock and key, the better.
He tried to calm himself by thinking about the things he was going to do to her, and how she’d look in his collar and under his control, but it didn’t help much.
“How dare she,” he mumbled.
As the hours went by and his man had no updates on her whereabouts, Nightingale got more and more enraged. Until finally, he realized he had only one option.
“You drove me to this, Mystic. This is your fault!” he ranted. “If you’d behaved, I wouldn’t have had to resort to this.”
Nightingale picked up the phone and called one of his best men. “I have a job for you. I need a girl.”
“Any girl?” the man asked.
“No, not this time. A specific one. Her name is Jessie Callahan. She’s a dancer with the Dance Theatre of San Francisco. Bring her to me. Alive.”
“Yes, sir,” the man said, then disconnected.
Nightingale nodded to himself. Yeah, Mystic would come running back home when she found out. She had to. He was counting on it. And when she did, Nightingale would have her brought to him.
Ignoring the fact he was throwing caution to the wind, and that the collections he held near and dear to his heart could be at risk, Nightingale smiled. He needed Mystic and her beautiful mismatched eyes. She would be his, come hell or high water.
Chapter Eight
Allye sat in Gray’s living room. She’d obviously been surprised by his house, if her wide eyes and “Holy cow” comment were any indication. It was huge. Four bedrooms and two vast open spaces, one on the first floor and one in the basement. He also had a gourmet kitchen with all the bells and whistles. Gray had a feeling she’d expected an apartment or a bachelor pad. Not this huge family-style home.
His house sat up on a hill, and there were two enormous windows on the main floor that faced Pikes Peak. The view was breathtaking, and Allye couldn’t take her eyes from it.
“It’s why I bought this house,” Gray said, loving how intently she’d taken in his home. “I know it’s way too big for me, but the second I saw that view, I knew I had to have it.”
“It’s extraordinary,” she said, still in awe. “I can see why you wanted it.”
“After getting out of the Navy and joining Rex’s team, I was restless. Unsettled. I didn’t like to be around people and wanted my space. This house satisfied that need inside me. It calms me to look up at the mountain and think about all the people who came before me who have stared up at that exact same pile of rocks.”
“I never thought about it like that before,” Allye said softly. “I mean, I’ve looked at the Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatraz, but never really thought too much about the people who built them or were around when the prison was actually in use.”
They were quiet for a while, lost in their own thoughts.
“How are you really doing?” Gray asked after some time, keeping his eyes on Allye. She was
sitting directly across from him, her legs drawn up. Her arms were curled around her knees, and she looked a little lost.
“I’m good.”
Gray snorted. “Don’t give me the party line, kitten. Tell me how you really are. Are you scared? Have you seen anyone suspicious around? Are you sleeping at night? How’s your appetite? Talk to me.”
She sighed and rested her chin on her knees, looking at him from across the coffee table. “I’m okay. As crazy as it seems, I think my past has helped me put what happened in perspective.”
“How so?”
“Well, it’s not the first time shit has happened to me. Of course, I didn’t end up in the middle of the ocean or anything in the past, but being left at the mall wasn’t exactly fun and games. Then finding out my mom had literally abandoned me sucked pretty hard. I’ve had so much practice with bad stuff happening, I guess I’m almost used to it.”
“Do not get used to this,” Gray said with more heat than the conversation probably warranted. “Just because some asshole decided he wants you for himself doesn’t mean that bad shit will continue to happen to you.”
Allye rolled her eyes at his words, which made Gray want to smile, but he was too irritated to do so at the moment.
“It’s just . . . I’m fine. Which makes me almost feel even worse. I mean, I should be having nightmares. I should be having trouble sleeping and eating. But I’m not. It’s as if those two days didn’t actually happen.”
“Can I be blunt?” Gray asked.
Allye smiled. “Because you haven’t been so far?”
He didn’t return her smile. “It’s gonna hit you. When you least expect it. You’ll be going about your day, and boom, you’ll see something that reminds you, and you’ll have a reaction. Or you’ll wake up in the middle of the night and remember. And it’s okay. If I’ve learned nothing else in my life, I’ve learned that it’s okay to freak out or have a bad reaction to something that happened to you.”
“What happened to you?” Allye asked, so insightfully it was almost scary.
Gray sighed. He had a decision to make. Open up and let Allye all the way in, or continue to keep himself closed off.
The problem was, if he opened up and told her about the skeletons in his closet, he’d want to keep her forever.
He knew himself—he already wanted her. If she heard his story, and accepted it, it would be almost impossible to let her go again. But if he made up some bullshit, he was admitting to himself that he didn’t think she was the woman for him.
He’d obviously taken too long to make his decision, because Allye turned her head and rested her cheek on her knees once more, breaking eye contact. “Sorry, that was rude. Forget I asked.”
His body moved, making the decision for him. Gray stood and walked over to the other couch. He sat next to Allye and boldly took her into his arms. She went without protest, settling herself against his side and shifting until she was comfortable. He had his arm around her shoulders, and her knees were now resting against his thigh. Her head was lying against his pectoral muscle, and her hand fiddled with the buttons on his shirt.
It was an intimate embrace for two people who hadn’t ever really touched much before now. But it felt right.
“I was a damn good SEAL once upon a time. I went where I was sent and never questioned orders. I thought I was making a difference in the world.” He paused, realizing telling her this story was going to be harder than he thought it’d be.
Allye’s hand patted his stomach, as if she was reassuring him. He forced himself to continue. If she didn’t take this well, it was better to know now rather than after he fell in love with her.
Halting thoughts of love before they could take root in his brain, Gray kept speaking. “We were in Kandahar, Afghanistan. My team was told there were insurgents gathering in a specific building on a side of town known to be a hotbed of activity for terrorists. We went in and all hell broke loose. It was a trap, and two of my friends were immediately killed, shot in the head. Two others were mortally wounded, and when we tried to get them out, they died in our arms.
“The other three teammates and I hunkered down and tried to fight our way out of the situation, but it was no use. They captured all of us. Jones and Blue they killed outright, because they were African American. The assholes who took us captive were racist as hell. Then they tortured me and Hick. When that didn’t get them any information, even though what they were asking wasn’t exactly top-secret shit, they . . .”
Gray’s voice trailed off. He didn’t like remembering what had happened next, never mind talking about it.
“It’s okay,” Allye whispered. “You don’t have to tell me.”
And that right there was why he wanted to. She didn’t demand answers. Didn’t insist he tell her everything that was on his mind. He remembered thinking when they were floating in the ocean that she was peaceful to be around. He actually liked the sound of her voice. It was soothing. Even if what she was saying wasn’t peaceful, her tone was.
“They decided to stop torturing us . . . and start up on innocent civilians. They first brought in a woman old enough to be my grandmother. As they were beating her, she spat at us as if we were the ones breaking her fingers one by one, and not her own countrymen. When we still refused to tell them numbers of bombs and ammunitions the United States had stored in their country—numbers that didn’t even matter to them because they changed daily—they brought in younger and younger women to try to convince us to talk.
“I finally broke when they dragged in the tenth woman, and started hitting and . . . assaulting her. And laughing. I told them what they wanted to know. But they abused that woman anyway. And laughed while she and I both screamed.”
Allye shifted then. She threw one leg over both of his and straddled his lap.
Surprised, Gray just sat there and let her adjust herself on top of him. She tucked her head into the space between his neck and shoulder and wrapped her arms around him. She didn’t say a word, and the moment wasn’t sexual in the least.
Gray immediately felt comforted. And less alone. He slowly wrapped his arms around her, and she shifted until she was closer. They ended up chest to chest, her legs hugging his thighs. He could feel her warm breath against his neck, but she didn’t urge him to continue speaking. Simply held on, offering her support the only way she could.
“My friend Hick actually got out of the ropes that had secured him to a pole in the middle of the room. He rushed the man on top of the woman. He was shot in the back of the head. I watched the whole thing. Unable to help my buddy or those women. When it was over, the men simply smirked at me and left, dragging the bleeding woman along with them but leaving Hick dead on the floor. I spent the next three days there. With Hick staring at me with his sightless eyes. I wished I had been the one to get free so I wouldn’t have had to be there at that moment.”
“How’d you get free?” Allye asked, not lifting her head.
“A second team of SEALs found me after the third day. The insurgents had cleared out of the area and left me there to die. It turns out, the brass who sent my team in knew the area was unstable, and knew there was an increased threat for any US personnel. They told me they would’ve sent a team to liberate us earlier, but the Air Force was running an operation on the other side of the city, and they couldn’t risk jeopardizing that mission, so they didn’t send the other SEALs to come get us until after it was completed.”
Allye’s head lifted then. “I’m sorry, Gray. That sucks.”
“Yeah. It sucks,” Gray agreed. “I went a little crazy after that. I killed a lot of people. I can’t even say they were all terrorists either. But I didn’t care. As far as I was concerned, they were all the enemy.”
“Is that when you got out?”
“Yeah. The Navy shipped me back to the States for extensive psychological care. But I didn’t want their fucking shrinks messing with my head. The government had messed with me enough at that point. So, I put in my pap
ers to be discharged, and they gladly signed them.”
“And then Rex got in touch with you,” Allye said.
“Yeah. I didn’t trust him for the longest time either,” Gray told her, looking through the window at the beautiful mountain peak in the distance. “But I did trust the rest of the guys. They’ve all been through hell, just as I have. The bond we have is deep. They’re my brothers in every sense of the word, except for blood.”
“I’m glad you have them,” Allye said softly.
“Me too.” He turned his gaze back to the woman in his lap. “My point is . . . I thought I had dealt with what happened. I’d been on dozens of missions for Rex. Killed people. Scum who didn’t deserve to live. But one day I was in the middle of helping a busload of kids escape a Mexican drug lord who had kidnapped them, when one of his assholes grabbed a little girl. She had dark-brown hair and huge brown eyes, and she stared at me just like that last woman back in Afghanistan had. Begging me without words to help her. And just like that”—he snapped his fingers—“I was back there.”
“What happened?” Allye whispered.
“Ro. He walked up behind the bastard and shot him in the head before he could get his own round off. Probably scarred that little girl for life, but at least she’s still alive and wasn’t hurt. It took me three days to completely come out of the stupor that flashback put me in. I’m just saying, shit that happens to you can come back to haunt you out of the blue.”
“Okay, Gray. I’ll be on the lookout.”
“Don’t be ashamed if it happens.”
“Are you ashamed?” she asked.
Gray thought about her question for a beat, then said, “Ashamed isn’t really the word. Sad. Frustrated, maybe. And helpless.”
Allye nodded.
“You need help processing, let me know. I’ll be there for you.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
He stared into her unusual eyes for a long moment before blurting out, “Does knowing I’ve killed, and will kill again, bother you?”
“No.”
Her answer was immediate and heartfelt, and Gray had to swallow hard at the feelings that one word evoked within him. He wasn’t sure he believed her, though. Her acceptance couldn’t be that easy. “I’m an accountant, but if Rex calls with a mission, I’m gone.”