by Lisa Olsen
I thought about Hanna and Mason, wondering if she was actually fine with the break up, or if the new guy was a coping mechanism. Poor Mason… I thought about calling him even though we hadn’t been on the best of terms for a while. He hadn’t shown at the ceremony, but then again, no one from the Order had.
Even Bishop hadn’t stayed long enough to finish a single drink. I spent a half second wondering where he’d disappeared to with Laveda before I firmly backtracked and thought about something else.
I heard Maggie and Marcus come home, the gaps of silence punctuated by soft laughter between them telling me her aggressive turn seemed to have done the trick. At least someone had cause to celebrate that night. It made me both happy and sad at the same time, listening to those murmurs, the promise of something new. Something I wasn’t free to share with the man I loved.
Right on cue, my office door creaked open and Rob appeared, a mug of cinnamon laced cocoa in hand. “What you still doing up here?” he asked, with a light scolding.
“Oh, you know,” I shrugged, blinking away the heavy emotion as I found a smile for him. “No rest for the wicked.”
“You should be sleeping like a baby then,” he said with a faint smile, setting the hot drink beside me.
“Somehow I don’t think warm milk will carry me off to dreamland. I have way too many things on my mind.”
Rob perched on the end of my desk. “Want to talk about it?”
Where to start? “Everything’s gone crazy. It’s like a crazy bomb went off and tiny bits of crazy globbed onto everything it hit.”
“Take a breath,” he rumbled, sliding the cocoa closer to my hand. “You can’t fix everything, you know. It’ll take time to set things right, but I know you can do it. Let Jakob have his public spectacles. You can make real change now, like you always wanted to.”
I picked up the mug, the warmth and scent of the spiced chocolate soothing me before I’d even taken a sip. “Yeah, maybe.” Maybe it really would all blow over soon? For all the sweeping statements about making the West great, Jakob hadn’t actually instituted any changes except to lead by example. I could combat that if I had to. Just because Jakob said it was groovy to slaughter humans didn’t mean vamps could go doing it willy nilly. “I guess I don’t have much choice but to try and ride it out.”
“Too right. You’re not licked yet.” He nodded in support.
“That’s not all though,” I sighed, taking a shallow sip, but it was still too hot. “My sister called, she broke things off with Mason. I mean I know we had our differences, but I liked the guy. I thought Hanna and Mason stood a chance, you know?”
“Sorry to hear that,” Rob said simply, and I couldn’t tell what he thought about it, his face shuttered. Even though he sat not three feet away from me, it felt like an ocean of distance between us. I wanted to say something, anything to get him to look at me again, but I could practically feel the extra security lurking outside, Gunnar moving in the kitchen. We were never truly alone anymore.
“This is all we get, isn’t it?” I murmured, a profound sadness sweeping over me at the realization. “As long as Jakob’s in our lives, he’ll be running them whether he’s here or not.”
Rob didn’t say anything, but his eyes held a world of regret. “I should leave you to it,” he said finally, pushing away from my desk.
“Do you have to? There’s nothing wrong with staying up talking with me. We used to do that all the time. Remember?”
“You want me to stay, I’ll stay.” Rob drew himself up, his tone formal as he stood by the door, his shoulders stiff, almost at attention.
“I’m not ordering you to stick around and talk to me.”
“Then if it’s all the same I’d rather go before one of us says something that can’t be taken back.”
“We’re already past that point.”
“Even more reason for me to go then.”
In a heartbeat I was up and around the desk, my hand closing over his on the doorknob. “This is stupid,” I pitched my voice low for his ears only. “We should be able to spend time together in our own home. We’re not doing anything wrong.” I reached up to caress his face.
Rob’s eyes met mine, the furrow between them crinkling with sorrow. “Don’t…” he said, his voice tight as he caught hold of my hand and pulled it away. “We can’t.”
I nodded, stepping away from him, my heart heavy with loss and longing. “Do you ever wonder what it would’ve been like if we’d met before? When I was a regular human and my life was my own.”
“My life ain’t never been my own since he stepped into it. I just keep forgetting when you’re near is all,” he said with a sad half smile.
“If we’d never met him then.”
“Then I’d have been dead long before you were born, more than likely. Ain’t no use spinning fairy stories about what might have been, this is our lot in life. I didn’t never figure on having you anyhow. Being near you is more than I could’ve hoped for.”
The simple admission tore at my heart. “No, it’s not enough.”
“It has to be. Tonight was reminder enough of that.”
He had me there. We’d witnessed Jakob’s casual brutality, and we’d already seen his vindictive rage. There was no hope for us with Jakob in the picture. Numb with the realization, I didn’t object as he brushed past me to open the door.
“I’ll leave you to it then,” he said brusquely, his lips hard and cold as he left the room.
There was work to do. Emails to answer, petitions to review, proposals to consider, but all I could do was sit by the window and wonder if we’d ever find the freedom to be happy together. One thought gave me hope.
Forever is a long time.
Chapter Twenty
Bishop’s hands tightened on the steering wheel, the dark SUV redolent with Laveda’s tempting scent almost from the moment he shut his door. “Are you sure about this? We just got here.”
“It’s all the same to me what you do. I was sharing the bit of insight is all,” Laveda shrugged. “I had the strongest feeling we should leave the party before things got out of hand.”
“You had a feeling we should go, or you should go?”
“Yes… both of us, but for different reasons.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry if it sounds a bit daft. It’s not an exact science, you know.”
“No, it’s fine. I’ve learned to respect your hunches before,” he smiled, starting the engine. Only… if things were going to get out of hand, shouldn’t he stick around to be there for Anja? Not that she needed him. There was enough security there to wrestle down a mastodon, not to mention Jakob. And Rob… No, Anja didn’t need him one bit.
“Where would you like me to drop you off?” Bishop asked, pulling out into traffic.
Laveda’s expression turned hopeful. “Can’t I go back to your place?”
Damn. This really wasn’t how he’d envisioned the night going. “I can help you find a place if you need somewhere to stay.”
“I’d much rather stay with you.”
Bishop held his breath, he couldn’t think with her fogging his senses, he never could. “I wasn’t going to go back to my place right now. I have some work to do.”
“I thought you quit the Order.”
“I told Anja I’d do some poking around, maybe see what I can do to help settle down some of the locals.” Would it seem weak if he cracked a window?
“I’m certain she’d understand a bit of a delay. How much work can be done with everybody at the party anyhow? Go on then, Bishop. When’s the last time you had a proper taste?” She leaned forward, fingers trailing down his forearm. If it’d been bare skin he might’ve lunged for her, but the suit kept the heat of her from reaching him. Mostly.
“Laveda…” he swallowed, staring straight ahead. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I think that would be a bad idea.”
Her lips drew to a pretty pout. “How am I to take it then?”
“It’s nothing personal, I’
m just not in that headspace right now.”
“Fine, we’ll leave your head out of it then.” Her hand dropped to his thigh and he gently scooped it up to return to her own lap before he ended up crashing the car.
“Laveda…” There was a warning in his tone.
“It was worth a shot,” she sighed, falling back against the seat. “She said you’d say that, you know.”
“Who?” She didn’t mean Anja, did she? Christ, he could imagine how that conversation had gone. “Did you talk to Anja about me?”
“This is her territory, ain’t it? I wanted to be sure I had a clear path, but I can see now it’s all jumbled.”
“What did she say, about me?”
“She said you wasn’t likely to take what I’m offering. I hardly believed her, but here we are.”
“She did.” That had to mean something, but what? Was she subtly trying to steer Laveda away from him, or giving her the go ahead? Bishop realized he’d been driving toward Anja’s old apartment, and pulled over. “Where are we going?”
“Good question that.” Laveda reached over to take hold of his chin, turning his head so that he couldn’t escape looking at her without pulling away violently. “She ain’t yours. Not anymore,” she said softly.
“I know.” It was just about the only thing that filled his waking thoughts these days without the distraction of the Order.
“I can help you forget.”
Could it be that simple? He was attracted to Laveda, that was never the problem, and for a few moments he let her give him the comfort he needed, losing himself in her kiss. But it wasn’t Anja, and he pulled away before he let his body overrule his heart.
“It wouldn’t be fair to you.”
“I wouldn’t mind.”
“I would.” He shook his head, trying to clear it. “Look, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, but…”
“Since when did you ever bother with feelings?” The corner of her mouth tugged up in confusion. “You’ve changed, Bishop.”
“Yeah, I guess I have.” Because of her.
“Fair enough.” Laveda patted his arm and unbuckled her seatbelt. “I think I feel like a bit of a walk.”
“Are you sure?” It wasn’t his intention to kick her to the curb. “I can take you wherever you want to go.”
“I think we already established that you can’t,” she smiled, opening the car door. “Don’t you worry none about me, I can take care of myself right enough.”
“I never doubted you for a moment,” Bishop smiled back. “Goodnight, Laveda. Be safe.”
“Night, luv. Give us a bell if you change your mind. I’ll be around.”
Bishop watched her sashay down the street until she disappeared around the corner. Then he did open both front windows, allowing the cold night air in to clear his head. Maybe he was stupid not taking what she offered, but he’d meant what he’d said to Anja before. He wanted more, and he was willing to wait however long it took to find it.
It wasn’t complete bullshit, his wanting to start his investigation. He’d been putting off going to see his friends for a few days, wanting to lessen the sting of his quitting the Order. But it was time to put in an appearance.
At first he drove around, trying to connect with some of his old partners, figuring they might actually show their faces since every other vampire in town was likely to be at Anja’s inauguration. He tried the Hart and Nightshade, but they were both closed up tight. Even Dead Lazlo’s lived up to the name, no one there but a bored bartender who offered free drinks as long as Bishop stayed to keep him company. He stayed for one round of poker out of pity before begging off to head for the HQ building, where he probably should’ve started in the first place.
Only it was gone.
Well, not completely gone, but after he’d managed to fight his way through the emergency crews to the heart of the blast zone, he found little more than a smoking hole in the ground where the brick building once stood. Ignoring the efforts to pull him back from what remained of the blaze, Bishop stared in shock at what had to be a targeted attack against the Order.
Even if there had been an accidental explosion from the pharmaceutical company occupying the upper floors, it wouldn’t have caused such devastation to the sublevels. That meant someone had gained access below and deliberately set off enough C-4 to level a normal city block.
“Bishop!”
Bishop looked up to find Frost calling his name, waving to him from the other side of the parking lot. Frost wore his usual tactical gear, blending in well with the first responders. His dark hair was messy, but clean, leading Bishop to believe he’d only arrived after the explosion.
“Report,” Bishop barked as soon as he came within speaking distance. Never mind that he had no right to request any information from Frost, not anymore. For his part, Frost didn’t hesitate.
“Word is we’re looking at four separate detonations, one on each of the levels. Whoever did this had military training for sure, they blew the fuck out of us. The locals are gonna be picking our ash out of their hair for a week.”
“Casualties.”
“Trick is gone, so is Preacher. No one else was in the building, thank God.”
“What about Jenessa? Cage?”
“Those two were the only confirmed kills. Jenessa’s been off the grid for a few days, and Cage reported in about a half an hour ago. He’s been laying low in Milpitas. I haven’t heard back from Stone, Corazon or Mason yet.”
“I thought Mason was still working down in San Jose?” Bishop frowned. Was there a chance his friend had been in the building?
“We had to pull him up here with all the shit coming down the pipe.”
“Alright, keep an eye on the local investigation, see what you can find out and keep trying to round up the troops. Once we know who’s left we can figure out our next step.”
“Copy that,” Frost nodded. “Bishop… I know you’re not officially here, but we could totally use you right now.”
It felt nice to be needed, but Bishop put aside the question as to what it might mean for his future. “I’m here, whether I’m on the payroll or not. This shit has to end once and for all.”
“Good to have you back, man.” Frost clapped him on the shoulder before wading back into the middle of it.
Even though he’d already asked Frost to keep an eye on the scene, Bishop circulated among the rescue workers until he found the fire chief. A simple compulsion and the husky man confirmed most of what Frost had told him, adding that the Department of Homeland Security had also been contacted, given the extreme force of the blast and the materials used. Their forensic team would be arriving momentarily, and the chief was peeved they weren’t allowed to continue their search for survivors in the meantime.
Bishop knew there wouldn’t be any bodies recovered in the investigation, dead or alive, but that didn’t mean there hadn’t been any other casualties. He was on the phone before he made it halfway back to the car, pulling up Mason’s number. “Come on, buddy… pick up,” he mumbled as it rang and rang. Right before it went to voicemail, Mason clicked on the line, his voice slurred with drink.
“I’m not doing it, I don’t care if Frost is offering triple time. I’m not going near that inauguration.”
Breathing a sigh of relief, Bishop let go of one worry. “That’s not why I’m calling.”
“I don’t care how spread thin we are, I’ve paid my goddamn dues. I want the night off to die in peace.”
Bishop recognized the note of self pity in Mason’s voice and he spoke more sharply, trying to draw his friend out of the self induced pit of misery. “Hey, crawl into a bottle some other night, I need you sharp and focused right now.”
“Why… what happened?”
He’d managed to capture Mason’s interest at least. Bishop gave him a brief report on the explosion and the known losses. “So you can see why it’s not a good time to joke about dying.”
“Fuck me sideways,” Mason murmur
ed, no longer sounding all that drunk anymore.
“You really cashed in on the shitstorm sweepstakes, didn’t you? Wait… I thought you quit the Order. Shouldn’t Frost be making this call?”
“You didn’t answer Frost’s call.”
“Point taken,” Mason acknowledged. “Does this mean you’re back?”
“It means I’m going to do everything I can to end this war before the Order sends reinforcements.”
“Maybe they should? We’re dying out here.”
“I’m hoping now that Anja’s back she can keep a lid on this.”
“That’s your great plan? Pinning your hopes on Anja?” Mason let out a snort. “She doesn’t give a shit about us.”
“You don’t honestly believe that, do you?”
“I don’t know what to believe anymore. I’ve obviously lost my ability to read the women in that family.”
“Are you on the outs with her sister again?”
“She flat out dumped my ass.”
“You’re kidding.” The last time they’d talked about it Mason had sounded close to retiring and going full-scale suburban with Hanna.
“Nope. Kicked me to the curb like last night’s garbage.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Bishop sighed. “But I can relate. I blew my chance at fixing things with Anja.”
“That sucks, man. I hate to say I told you so, but…”
“Yeah, I know, it’s my own fault.” And he’d been kicking himself for not realizing it sooner. If only he’d opened up to Anja that night she’d been shot, when she begged him for some sign that he still cared. That was one of his biggest regrets.
“Alright, well… let me take a quick shower to try and clear my head and I’ll get out there. Where are we meeting up?”
“I’ll let Frost decide on that one, he’s technically in charge.”
“Right now he’s in charge of a fucking donut hole where our headquarters used to be, so excuse me if I’m not taking any orders from him for a while,” Mason griped.
“Mason…”