He needed a break. Needed to be someplace else for a little while.
He unwrapped the bandages from his head and had a shower, which calmed some of his inner discord.
Some, not all.
From the closet he found clothes that fit him to a tee: sleek black pants, a crisp turquoise button-down, and a pair of black leather shoes. It took effort not to feel as if he were usurping someone else’s life as he carefully drew a comb through the layers of his hair. He avoided the shaven patch on his skull and the stitches that were still healing.
By the time he was ready to depart the room, a dull headache had begun to pound behind his eyes. He paused to shoot back two pain pills before exiting into the hallway.
Two men in suits stood on either side of the door. Elias made eye contact with both. It was awkward to know someone was keeping track of everything he did. He said nothing as he headed down the hall.
Would they follow? Would someone stop him before he got too far?
He turned right at the end of the corridor, unsure where he was going.
A large sitting space sat to the left, a place for guests to gather and talk outside the bedroom suites. Ten feet ahead, another hall opened to the right. Opposite the hall was a staircase leading down. Rather than descend, he chose the hallway to explore. Framed paintings lined the walls, which piqued his interest.
Movement ahead drew his attention.
Elias recognized the woman who had been introduced as his girlfriend. She strolled the hallway with her hands behind her back, examining the portraits, oblivious of his presence. He wasn’t sure whether to retreat before she spotted him or use the opportunity to study her until she became aware she wasn’t alone. It didn’t take much effort for him to recall how uncomfortable he’d been when faced with her the last time; he started to take a step back but paused.
He would never make progress if he kept running away from the truth.
As if a sixth sense kicked in, she whipped a look down the hallway.
Elias inwardly braced himself for interaction. “Good morning, Inari.”
“Elias! Did you get your memory back?” She jogged toward him with a stunning smile on her mouth.
Perhaps it was his use of her given name that had made her think he remembered her. Elias halted in place and shook his head. “No, I haven’t.”
Much to his relief, Inari stopped a few feet from him rather than assault him with a hug and kisses. He would have hated to literally pry her from his body.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you’d remembered,” she said.
Elias took in all the little details: the shine of Inari’s tawny hair, the sparkle in her eyes, the flush on her smooth cheeks. She wore a pair of slim-fitting white pants, a peach top, and a knitted cardigan over that. The touch of makeup wasn’t too heavy or too light.
She was pretty; there could be no doubt about that.
“I didn’t want to be rude when I realized the hallway was occupied,” he replied. Her expression shifted from happiness to acceptance.
“I see.” She looked behind her and back to his eyes. “Would you like company for your walk? I can answer a few questions about the paintings at least.”
Elias wanted to turn her down flat. He would never be able to explain or express to anyone just how weird it was to be in a strange place, with strange people, none of whom he remembered. But he again reminded himself that nothing good would come of running, and that he couldn’t keep avoiding his past. This was a problem he needed to face head on.
“It’s all right if you’d rather be alone. I’m sure this is probably uncomfortable,” she said when he took too long to answer.
“No, no. It’s an adjustment period and I’m still getting through it.” He fell into step at her side, encouraging her to walk with him along the hallway.
“Okay. How are your injuries? It’s good to see you up and around.”
He lifted the arm that was still in the cast, having ditched the sling for the walk. “My wrist is doing fine, I guess. It doesn’t hurt. The other wounds are healing well and the bruising is almost gone.”
“What about your head?”
“Still a lot of pain. Headaches, things like that.” He refused to admit that the short walk was already taking a toll. His legs felt weak and his head was pounding. Perturbed by the continual injury issues, he forced himself to keep going. The paintings on the walls would have gained much more of his attention if Inari hadn’t been at his side. Thus, he failed to ask any pertinent questions about his heritage.
“The pain medication isn’t helping?” she asked.
“For about five minutes.” He resorted to sarcasm in lieu of a more straightforward answer.
“Maybe you should get a stronger dose.”
“I guess we’ll see.” He wasn’t sure what else to say, and fell silent.
“Is there anything I can do for you to make all this easier?” she asked after a time.
“I don’t think so. But thanks.” Elias had finally begun to examine the portraits on the walls to combat his growing sense of unease. He stopped before one that seemed ancient; a man who he vaguely resembled sat on a stone bench with two dogs at his feet. “Who is this, do you know?”
“Actually, that one I’m not sure of. I know the more recent ancestors, though.”
Elias searched for a name engraved on the frame or the painting itself, but found nothing. “I’ll have to ask Sander later.”
“Have you been into the dungeon yet?”
“No. This is my first time out of the room since I arrived.” The idea of dungeons and dark tunnels held no appeal.
“I don’t mind showing you if you’re interested. You used to spend a lot of time mapping the underground tunnels.”
He faced her. “Honestly, Inari, I have no desire to go creeping through old dungeons.”
“All right. Well, if you do, let me know. I’ve gone with you quite a few times and I know my way around at least a little.”
“I will. Thank you.” Elias experienced a growing sense of distance and unease. It appeared Inari did as well. A moment later, she stepped back and gestured down the hall.
“I should be going for now. I have work to do. I hope to see you soon, Elias.”
“Good day.” He tracked her retreat until she disappeared around a corner, out of sight. Only then did he release a long breath. That had been more uncomfortable than he wanted to admit.
How the hell was he supposed to rekindle a romance with a woman who was nothing more than a stranger?
He left the portraits and the hallway behind, uninterested in exploring any longer.
Frustration built with every step he took back toward his suite.
The more distressed he became, the harder his head hurt, until the edges of his vision began to fade and go dark.
He knew what that meant.
The guards were still at his door when he arrived but said nothing as he staggered inside.
Moments later he collapsed onto the bed, as exhausted as if he’d just run a marathon.
His last thought before darkness came was a dark one.
I don’t know how much longer I can live like this.
Chapter 18
Sander paced through Elias’s room, as restless as he’d ever been. It was late afternoon, hours past Emily’s ceremony, and he couldn’t seem to settle. The entire situation was under his skin and he didn’t know how to fix it. Elias was still passed out on the bed from an apparent stroll through the third floor of the castle.
A good thing, Sander thought. At least Elias had been curious or bored enough to explore. He didn’t hold out any hope that the young man had remembered anything—he suspected Elias would have come straight to him otherwise.
What bothered him was that Elias seemed to tire easily. Almost too easily. It looked to him like Elias had barely made it in the door from his walk before falling asleep. He was tempted to call the doctor and ask if that was normal. Should Elias be having such bad headach
es and exhaustion?
“You look troubled,” Elias said in a groggy voice.
“Welcome back to the waking world.” Sander drew a chair close to the end of the bed and sat down. He perched on the edge of the cushion, too agitated to really relax and get comfortable.
There was nothing pleasant about the conversation he was about to have.
“You have a habit of sidestepping my comments,” Elias said. He sat up and reached for a bottle of water as well as his pain pills.
Sander looked on as his son dosed up. That told him something about the state of Elias’s pain.
“There’s something we need to discuss,” Sander said once Elias was done taking the medication.
“You did it again.”
“It’s about your title.”
Elias put the water bottle back on the nightstand and looped his good arm around his bent knees. “What about it?”
“There was a ceremony this morning in the throne room. We couldn’t avoid it any longer.”
“What kind of ceremony?” Elias frowned.
“Your sister Emily was officially sworn in as heir to the throne. Which means you’re not the first in line any longer. I consider it a temporary development that we’ll reverse when you get your memory back.” Sander took great care to deliver the news as neutrally as he could. He didn’t relish Elias witnessing how much the ceremony had ripped a hole in his heart.
Elias’s silence unnerved Sander. He had no idea what his son was thinking. Rather than push for answers, he waited Elias out.
“To tell you the truth, Sander, it’s a relief. I almost feel like I’m living in a dream and am waiting to wake up. The castle doesn’t seem real. I don’t recognize anything and I don’t feel a sense of coming home,” Elias said.
The words were difficult to process. Sander drew in a deep breath and counted to five.
Steady, old man.
“I suppose it would be overwhelming if you didn’t remember any of it. Castles and titles and kingdoms aren’t your everyday scenario.” Sander paused briefly. “Anyway, I’d prefer it if you remained up here on the third floor for the next week.”
“Why?”
“Because now that the news is out about your accident and Emily’s ceremony this morning, things could skew sideways at any moment and I’d like to know where you are at all times. No one else knows you’re here except a few guards, your mother and siblings, and Inari. If you go wandering around the castle at will, the secret will be out in short order.”
“I’m too cooped up here to stay that long,” Elias said.
“As far as I can tell, that’s about all you can physically handle right now.” Sander didn’t hesitate to suggest he knew that Elias had come right back to the room and crashed after his walk. The exercise had taken a toll.
Elias muttered and looked away.
“If you’re having problems, we’ll bring the doctor in from the mainland.” Sander wanted to protect Elias and keep his residence a secret a while longer, but not at the expense of his safety.
“I don’t need it yet. I’m not feeling too bad.” Elias continued to stare across the room.
Sander couldn’t help but wonder if Elias was telling him the truth.
“Will you stay up here at least for a few more days, then?” Sander stood and began pacing the room again. Before Elias could reply, Sander decided to switch tactics. He came to stand at the side of the bed.
“Don’t answer that. Instead, how would you like to get away from everything for a while?”
The speed with which Sander made things happen was dizzying. Elias was impressed despite himself. In less than two hours, Sander had secreted him away from Kallaster Castle via subterfuge and disguise. A large coat with a deep hood had protected Elias’s identity from the few people left wandering the foyer of the castle, as well as anyone watching from windows above. The same guards that had been outside his room were also in the SUV that transported them from the castle to the helipad and then across the sea to the mainland. If he’d had to guess, no more than five or six people in total were involved in the scheme. Everyone else had been given generic orders, as far as Elias could tell, and any crowds had been cleared from the exit path.
The helicopter flew a short distance beyond what Sander pointed out to be Ahtissari Castle, the family seat, and landed in a clearing adjacent to the forest. Three SUVs waited on the ground with a few people already prepared to escort them wherever they were going. Elias recognized Leander among the small group.
Everyone else besides the initial guards was unknown.
From the clearing they headed into the forest, the SUVs navigating the flat terrain with ease. Elias noted a narrow trail wove through the trees, snaking deeper into the woods. The rugged road had obviously been used many times, although nothing about the area looked familiar.
At length, the line of SUVs broke into a clearing. A rather rustic yet well-built cabin sat in the middle, big enough to house eight to ten people with ease. Or so it seemed to Elias judging by the size of the homestead.
“Anything look familiar?” Sander asked as they disembarked in front of the cabin.
“No. What is this place?” Elias climbed to the ground and pushed the hood back from his face. Everyone in the other vehicles was aware of his presence, so he didn’t feel the need to hide any longer.
“It’s a cabin my father built many, many years ago. I still spend time here when your mother is gone.” Sander led the way up the steps to the door and opened it with a key he took from his pocket.
Elias followed at a slower pace while the guards took up positions at specific points around the clearing. He noticed one younger man continually looking his way but didn’t have time to ask questions. Maybe later.
The interior of the cabin was as well maintained as the outside. A fireplace took up a good portion of one wall and all the furniture appeared new and plush. Although everything was neat and clean, the cabin still had a lived-in vibe. It seemed the kind of place one could put up their feet and relax.
Elias wondered if he’d been there before. If he’d spent time within the walls with or without Sander. He dropped his bag at the foot of a sofa and removed his outer coat.
“I don’t remember any of this but, for some reason, I feel comfortable here. More comfortable than I did at the castle,” Elias said.
Sander stripped out of his coat and snagged a skullcap off his head. He tossed both onto a tree rack near the door. “Maybe that means something. I thought we could spend some time out here alone, away from the pressure that the castle seems to generate. Leaving Kallaster wasn’t my intent, not at first, but if privacy is what you need, then I’m happy to try and provide it.”
Elias didn’t have the heart to confess that being near any of them added to the stress of memory loss. It was just Sander now, and the guards, who appeared to be out of sight if not out of mind, so he decided to see if he could tolerate that better.
“Have I been here before?” Elias asked as he examined the well-appointed kitchen. The countertops looked new and all the appliances were sparkling clean. He noted someone had supplied fresh food when he opened the refrigerator to look for a bottle of water.
“Quite a few times, yes. You and I have spent many evenings here before trips to the hinterlands or canoeing excursions.” Sander perched on the arm of a sofa. He wore typical black on black, which put Elias in mind of undercover missions and skulking around in the dark.
Was that also a memory? Why would he have thought of the clothing in that way? He grabbed a bottle of water and retreated to the kitchen counter, where he tilted into a lean.
“What’s the frown for?” Sander asked.
“Your clothes.”
“What about them?”
“It makes me think of dark nights and skulking around.” Elias looked across the countertop. He could easily see Sander in the living area. The open floor plan left much of the downstairs visibly accessible, barring a room or two off the hallway
.
Sander’s expression remained neutral. “What else do you think about when you see clothing like this?”
Elias had to think about it. His frown deepened. “I don’t know.”
“Nothing comes to mind?”
“Nothing specific. Just what I said before.” Elias had another drink of water. So far, his headache had remained a dull throb rather than a deafening roar.
Sander opened his mouth as if he was about to say something else. He closed it and looked away to a window.
“What?” Elias decided not to let the lapse pass.
“It’s nothing I can talk about yet. Maybe if you start to remember things while we’re here.”
“I’d rather know now. It might jog something in my memory.”
“Except if I tell you, and you don’t regain your memory, then I might compromise other people’s safety.” Sander made eye contact again.
Elias discovered his curiosity increasing over whatever it was Sander wouldn’t say. And when he thought about that, it pleased him. Because if he was curious, that was progress, no matter how small. He hadn’t been as prone to pushing for answers back in the hospital.
“I saw Inari in the castle,” he said out of the blue.
“I heard.”
“What did she tell you?” Elias asked.
“She didn’t tell me anything. But she told your mother that you’d bumped into each other.”
“Was she upset that I wasn’t more forthcoming?”
“Chey didn’t mention anything about Inari being upset. She said that Inari seemed hopeful despite the distance you keep between you and everyone else. She’d hoped to run into you again, but took the news of our departure well, considering.”
“What did Chey think of us leaving?” Elias asked. At the moment, he found himself curious what his mother thought more than his girlfriend.
“She understands what I’m trying to do. It’s the same thing she was trying to do when she brought you one of your favorite meals. All this is just an attempt to help relax you and hopefully jog your memory.”
Latvala Royals: Sacrifices Page 8