by Paige Rawl
Planned Parenthood
Planned Parenthood is the leading provider of women’s sexual and reproductive health services in the United States. They offer affordable health care for women and teens, including HIV testing, and they provide education and information about women’s health. One in five women in the United States has visited a Planned Parenthood health center at least once in her life. www.plannedparenthood.org
Canadian AIDS Society
The Canadian AIDS Society has set up toll-free phone lines in each province and territory that you can call to get answers to your questions about HIV and AIDS and arrange to get tested. www.cdnaids.ca/hotlinesandsupport
BULLYING FACTS
Types of Bullying
Bullying is an act of repeated aggressive behavior that seeks to intentionally hurt another person—physically or mentally.
Physical—Any form of physical attack. Damage or taking someone’s belongings may also count as physical bullying.
Verbal—name-calling, insulting, teasing, or offensive remarks
Indirect—spreading rumors about someone, exclusion from a group, or sending abusive mail
Cyberbullying—any type of bullying that is through electronic medium, like texts, phone calls, email, instant messaging, sending unwanted pictures, videos, or bullying on websites
None of these types of bullying are acceptable. None are “harmless.” Don’t stand for it, and don’t stand idly by when you see it.
Bullying Statistics: United States
This year, over thirteen million American kids will be bullied or cyberbullied.
It is estimated that 160,000 children miss school every day due to fear of attack or intimidation by other students.
One in five teens who are bullied or cyberbullied think about suicide. One in ten actually attempt suicide.
Youth who are bullied are twice as likely to commit suicide as those who are not bullied.
One out of every ten students who drop out of school do so because of repeated bullying.
Every seven minutes a child is bullied.
One study showed that although 70 percent of teachers believe they “almost always” intervene when their students are being bullied, only 25 percent of students thought this was actually the case.
64 percent of children who are bullied do not report it.
It’s not just the United States, either. A 2010 research project studying thirty-three Toronto junior high and high schools reported that 49.5 percent of students surveyed had been bullied online.
Canadian teachers ranked cyberbullying as their issue of highest concern out of six listed options—89 percent said bullying and violence are serious problems in our public schools.
Canada ranked twenty-sixth and twenty-seventh out of thirty-five countries on measures of bullying and victimization, according to a recent World Health Organization survey.
If you are bullied
You can stand up for yourself by calmly telling the bully to stop, but don’t fight back on their level—this won’t help and it might make the situation worse.
Don’t isolate yourself. Tell someone. Talk to an adult that you trust. If that person doesn’t respond, or doesn’t respond swiftly enough, talk to someone else. Keep a record of the incidents to share with teachers, administrators, and parents.
Don’t simply accept it as something that cannot change, and do not let it change how you feel about yourself. Do not let the bullies win. You matter.
If you see someone else getting bullied
Most bullying doesn’t happen when adults are watching. But it does occur in the presence of other kids. If you see someone getting bullied, do not stand by and watch; instead, stand up and say something. Calmly and firmly tell the bully that their behavior isn’t okay—that it’s not funny, harmless, or acceptable.
Some research suggests half of all bullying will end if a bystander decides to intervene.
If you don’t feel like you can safely stand up to a bully, get help from a trusted teacher or other adult. If the bullying includes threats—or if you have reason to believe someone is at risk of being hurt, be sure to tell an adult right away.
Reach out and be kind to the person being bullied. Encourage them to seek help. Remind them they don’t deserve to be bullied. Simply knowing someone is on their side can make a big difference.
NATIONAL HOTLINES
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
If you or someone you know is in suicidal crisis or emotional distress, please call.
The call is free and available twenty-four hours a day. Your call will be routed to the crisis center nearest to you.
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
A twenty-four-hour, toll-free, confidential hotline staffed by specially trained counselors.
Teens, parents, and others can get help with bullying, abuse, anger, depression, school issues, and more.
BULLYING RESOURCES
There are many, many fantastic organizations working to stop bullying, with great resources. Here are a few I especially like:
The Bully Project
A movement inspired by the terrific documentary Bully, the Bully Project offers tool kits for educators, parents, and students—including tips on what to do if you need help, and where to turn. You can also share stories, learn about antibullying projects in your area, and even start your own. www.thebullyproject.com
Stopbullying.gov
A federal website maintained by the Department of Health and Human Resources, this site explores what bullying and cyberbullying means, offers tips for stopping bullying, and allows you to explore your state’s laws about bullying.
The It Gets Better Project
A collection of videos and resources reminding LGBT youth around the world, many of whom hide their sexuality due to fear of bullying, that they are not alone, and that life gets better. Includes over fifty thousand videos from LGBT allies. www.itgetsbetter.org
The Olweus Bullying Prevention Program
Olweus is a proven approach to antibullying that schools can use. It integrates school-wide, individual, classroom, and community aspects that collectively create a positive and safe school environment in K–12 schools. www.clemson.edu/olweus
Stop Bullying: Speak Up
A program of the Cartoon Network, this site lists kid-friendly videos, tips, games, and resources. www.cartoonnetwork.com/promos/stopbullying
Do Something
The country’s largest nonprofit for young people and social change, with 2.5 million members. Their antibullying program includes a text-based “Choose Your Own Adventure”–style game that shows the steps you can take to reduce bullying. www.dosomething.org
National Bullying Prevention Center of the PACER Center
The PACER Center advocates for needs of children with disabilities, but their bullying prevention resources are helpful to all. On this website, you’ll find thoughtful resources like tip sheets for kids, educator tool kits, videos, shared stories, and more. www.pacer.org/bullying
In Canada: Kids Help Phone
1-800-668-6868
A free, anonymous, and confidential phone and online professional counseling service for youth. Big or small concerns. 24/7. 365 days a year.
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About the Authors
PAIGE RAWL is an accomplished speaker and an inspirational figure for the tens of thousands of kids to whom she has spoken. Today, Paige is a national youth advocate, antibullying crusader, and powerful HIV/AIDS educator. Paige has been featured in multiple national media outlets, including USA Today, People magazine, Seventeen magazine, Nick News with Linda Ellerbee, the Huffington Post, and Poz magazine. Since Paige was eight years old, she has participated enthusiastically in pageants. Most recently, Paige was Miss Indiana Teen Essence 2011 and Miss Indiana High School America 2012. She is currently a student at Ball State University, where she plans to study molecular biology. You
can visit her online at www.paigerawl.com.
ALI BENJAMIN’s work has appeared in print, online, and on television. She lives with her family in rural Massachusetts. You can find out more about her at www.alibenjamin.com.
Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins authors and artists.
Credits
Cover photographs © 2014 by Polina Osherov
Cover design by Cara Petrus
Copyright
POSITIVE
Copyright © 2014 by Ali Benjamin
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
www.epicreads.com
Photographs courtesy of Paige Rawl
* * *
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Rawl, Paige.
Positive : surviving my bullies, finding hope, and living to change the world : a memoir / by Paige Rawl with Ali Benjamin.—First edition.
pages cm
ISBN 978-0-06-234251-5 (hardback)
1. Rawl, Paige—Health. 2. HIV-positive children—Biography. 3. AIDS (Disease) in adolescence—Patients—Biography. 4. AIDS (Disease) in adolescence—Social aspects. 5. Bullying—Psychological aspects. I. Benjamin, Ali. II. Title.
RJ387.A25R38 2014
2014005857
362.19697’9200835—dc23
CIP
AC
* * *
EPub Edition © AUGUST 2014 ISBN: 9780062342539
14 15 16 17 18 CG/RRDH 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
FIRST EDITION
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