by M. Malone
It would be no small feat to run his business from another location, but there was no doubt in his mind this was the right move. The only move. Lucia was more important than anything else. There weren't too many things in his life that he'd gotten completely right, but taking care of her and Nonna DeMarco were at the top of his list.
He could only hope that if Rafe was looking down on them, he'd be proud.
Noah wasn't a religious man, despite Nonna's best efforts, but he took his oaths seriously. He'd promised Rafe that he'd take care of them if the worst ever happened, and he'd lay down his life to keep that vow. Especially since his best friend couldn't have known that the worst thing out there was Noah.
He knocked on the door again and then stood back so Lucia could see him through the peephole. She'd gotten much better about not opening the door without checking first. It had killed him that living in this neighborhood had made her soft for a while. After a few minutes of standing there, he started to get impatient. He let his duffle bag fall to the ground. There was a dull clank as all the electronics jostled against each other. He’d probably brought more tech gadgets than clothes.
“Lucia, open up!”
There was no sound inside. Noah frowned. Jonas would have let him know if she'd left. She’d been pissed at him earlier but it wasn’t like her to be petty. She was way more likely to open the door and yell at him than leave him outside making a scene in her hallway.
He knocked once more for good measure and then pulled out his key. Once inside, he disabled the alarm. As soon as he flipped on the lights, his hand instinctively went to the Sig Sauer holstered on his hip.
What the hell?
The place looked like it had been trashed. Every couch cushion was on the floor, and the chairs had been knocked over. The bookshelves were swept clean, the books and knickknacks littering the floor. His blood went cold as he realized that something was very wrong. There was no way this kind of mayhem could have occurred without their surveillance picking it up. If someone had circumvented their security measures then he had no idea what he was walking in to.
A soft sound drew his attention, and he walked quickly and quietly down the hall to Lucia’s bedroom door. It was quiet, but then he heard her voice. She was on the phone. She didn’t sound upset or even frightened. Confused, he pushed the door open.
Lucia was reclining on the bed with one hand under her head and her phone in the other. The only light in the room came from the small lamp she’d left on next to the bed. A single picture frame rested on the comforter next to her. The picture frame that he’d given her for her birthday last year.
The frame that housed a pinhole camera. It sat next to his phone. He must have left it behind.
Lucia mumbled something and then put the phone on the bedside table. He holstered his weapon.
“Is everything okay?”
She gave him a murderous look. “What do you think?”
He wasn’t sure how to answer. Maybe it was a coincidence that she had that particular frame out. “Were you doing some redecorating?”
“Seriously? That’s all you have to say to me?” She gestured to the frame on the bed next to her.
Noah hung his head. “Fuck.”
“You have some serious explaining to do.”
Lucia watched warily as Noah moved closer. Her friends would probably describe her as calm, levelheaded and in control, which made the feelings of rage swirling inside her even harder to take. When she’d found the camera, it was like a switch had been flipped and a new, never-before-seen side of her emerged.
Over the years, she’d tolerated a lot from Noah. He thought she didn’t understand him, but she truly did. He’d been her brother’s friend, protégé, and more like family than anyone else in their life. So even though he’d never spoken about that day with her, she already knew why he worked so hard to take care of her and Nonna.
Rafe had been extremely protective of the women in his life, and she had no doubt that somewhere along the way, he’d tasked Noah with watching over them if he wasn’t around to do it himself.
Only someone who’d known her brother would understand just how hard it was not to give in when Rafe wanted something. Even when she’d been a young teenager and chafing under the supervision of her extremely chauvinistic big brother, she’d had a hard time being mad at him. There had just been something about Rafe that made you want to let him handle things. He’d had that sort of aura, the kind that made you want to trust in his leadership and work extra hard to make him proud.
So she got it. She understood.
But there was a line that had been crossed somewhere along the way, and Noah seemed to have forgotten that not only did he have a responsibility to Rafe, but one to her as well. She was the one he talked to every day. Rafe had been his best friend, but she was one of his best friends now. Or so she’d thought.
Because a friend wouldn’t do this to her. A friend wouldn’t violate her privacy without a second thought.
“I guess I don’t have to ask if you know what that is.” Noah gestured toward the picture frame resting on the comforter between them.
“Since you’re the one who taught me how to spot a pinhole camera, no, you don’t. My question is, when did you switch the frames?”
Although she asked the question casually, Lucia was truly interested in the answer. The camera hadn’t been there when she’d gotten the frame. She would have noticed it. Which meant he’d waited until she was used to seeing the frame on the shelf and then swapped in a dupe at some point. It was clever, and damn if that didn’t make it all worse. Noah was brilliant and diabolical. Traits that she’d never thought he’d use against her.
“I waited until Easter.”
She shook her head, furious when tears sprang to her eyes. “Nice long game. So you’ve been spying on me ever since. Funny if I hadn’t seen the text alert on your phone, I never would have known.”
He ran a hand over his hair, tugging at the dark strands in frustration. She’d never seen him look this unsettled.
“You don’t understand, Lucia. If something ever happened to you…this was for your protection.”
“What are you so worried about? What aren’t you telling me?”
For a moment he stared at her and she thought, finally he’ll confide in me. There were so many moments when she could tell he was holding back, and all she wanted was to be the one person in his life he didn’t keep secrets from.
“Nothing. I just want you to be safe,” he finally said.
The same standard answer he always gave when she asked why he was so hyper-vigilant about her security. The disappointment covered Lucia like a blanket. In that moment she realized it was never going to happen. He would never trust her or see her as anything but someone to protect. Never a partner, never his equal, and certainly never his soul mate.
The loss hit her all at once, and suddenly she was as heartbroken as she was furious.
She stood up and went into her closet. When she came out holding her suitcase, Noah’s eyes flared with anger. He grabbed it from her.
“Why do you have your suitcase? You’re not going anywhere right now. I know you’re mad at me, but we have bigger things to worry about right now. Like whoever wrote that note.”
Furious, she tugged on the handle until he let go. She suspected she only got it away from him because he was surprised she’d fought back. She’d barely gotten it open before he was right there zipping it back up.
“Get out of the way, Noah! You can’t tell me what to do. You’re not my boyfriend. One kiss doesn’t give you the right to interfere in my life.”
“What about two kisses? Does that give me any rights?”
He stepped in front of her, blocking her access to the suitcase, and all the blood left her head. Lucia swayed, and of course the bastard used that as an opportunity to pull her against his chest. For a moment she rested there, taking in the scent that was uniquely his and the sultry, sandalwood notes in the aftersh
ave he’d used for years. It would be so easy to forgive him and let him cajole her into submission. But that wouldn’t change anything. He’d still see her as an obligation, and she’d still be pining for something that could never be.
She pushed away from him, fighting against his hold when he tried to keep her in his arms.
“You wish. You’re lucky you got one kiss. And it wasn’t even that good!” She added that last part in a rush of anger, hoping to make him feel as unsettled as she did.
Got him, she thought, watching his eyes narrow at the insult.
“I’m pretty sure you were into it at the time. Want an instant replay?”
Before she could process his words, his hand slid up her back and under her ponytail, holding her still. His lips covered hers and Lucia froze in place. It was just as explosive as the first time, as everything female in her responded to the dominant way he took what he wanted. Lucia gasped and when her lips parted, and his tongue slid against hers in an erotic dance that made her even more lightheaded.
Her entire universe contracted to that moment; her body pressed against the muscular frame that had haunted her dreams for years while the man she loved desperately kissed her stupid.
Noah slid one leg between hers, and the contact of his hard thigh against her core made her cry out. She’d never known she could feel like this; hot and cold, furious and elated, damned and blessed, simultaneously.
“That’s it, princess. God, you’re so perfect. Everything I should never touch.” His whispered words didn’t even make sense in the moment, but the soft rasp of his breath against her neck as he kissed his way down her throat sent her soaring.
Lucia’s eyes opened briefly, and while he was busy doing things that felt amazing to her collarbone, her eyes landed on the picture frame on the bed.
Noah had never said these sorts of things to her before, and she knew him. She knew how he operated. Everything she’d discovered today had proven that he’d use any skills he had to get his way.
Even seduction.
She shoved him away and then picked up the frame from the bed. He ducked just in time to avoid getting clipped in the forehead when she threw it at him.
“You aren’t going to distract me by pretending to want me, Noah.”
He blinked at her, his eyes looking lazy and seductive, the way she’d imagined he’d look when he woke up. Or after lovemaking. Lucia shook her head, trying to clear her mind.
“You think I was pretending?”
Noah looked down, and Lucia followed his gaze to the huge bulge in the front of his jeans. Oh my god. Her breath left her lungs in a rush.
“It doesn’t change anything,” she protested weakly.
Noah walked forward and she tensed, worried that if he kissed her again she wouldn’t have the willpower to resist a second time.
“It changes everything, princess.”
He leaned forward and Lucia closed her eyes, bracing for another erotic assault. Then her eyes popped open at the gentle kiss on her forehead.
“Go to sleep. Before I give you what your eyes are asking for.”
She watched as he strode out of the room, pulling her door closed behind him.
chapter eight
Do not think about Lucia.
Do not think about Lucia lying naked in bed.
Not that Noah knew whether Lucia slept naked or not, but either way, it didn't matter to his dick. Damn thing hadn’t gone down since he’d gotten a taste of her.
He was such an idiot. He should have never kissed her. Because once that line was crossed, there was no going back. No pretending. She'd been there, she’d felt the desperation he had to keep touching her, to keep holding her, pressing his body into hers. It was unmistakable. His only option right now was to attempt to bring them back to normal. To before.
His dick twitched against his thigh as if to say, yeah, good luck with that. He groaned and turned onto his side, flipping the pillow under his head. Problem was, as big as the couch was, it was still just a smidge too short. His feet were dangling off the edge. The blanket he’d pulled out of the linen closet covered his feet but not all of his chest. And dammit, he usually slept naked. Somehow, he didn't think that was going to fly with Lucia in the next room. Noah rolled over again and stared at the ceiling.
How did you end up here?
Because you insisted you knew best.
He’d intruded on her privacy. He knew it. And the thing was, he wasn't sorry. He’d been keeping watch over her for years. Keeping her safe. Keeping her from finding out about ORUS. About Rafe. About himself. Allowing her to keep her air of innocence for as long as possible. Allowing her to live the kind of life that was only possible when you were oblivious.
But now, when there might be real danger, he had no idea how the hell he was going to keep her safe. He had no idea why she had started digging into Rafe’s death again. Or maybe she’d never stopped wanting answers. He wasn't even sure exactly what she’d found. Suddenly her date with Brent made sense. Whatever she'd asked the pencil pusher to look up, someone didn't want her asking questions about it.
He had Matthias digging for any traces of that company name she’d given him, but so far he hadn't found anything. He just prayed that whatever she was doing, he could still keep her safe. She was messing in some dangerous waters, and he couldn’t let her get too close to the man that he'd been before. Because then she would be in real danger.
Noah considered all the things he’d kept from her for years. How would she react if she knew the truth? If she was pissed off now, he could only imagine how she would feel about him then. She would run out of his life and never look back.
He shook his head as if he could dislodge the unsettling thought. He couldn’t allow that to ever happen. If she knew what he was, the kind of man he was, the things he’d done, she would never speak to him again. She would never even look at him. Right now, she was mad. She was pissed off. But she would eventually see that he had her best interest at heart.
If she found out the truth, it would be over.
There would be no more family dinners at the DeMarco house anymore. No welcoming arms, even when she was irritated with him. It would be over. The one constant in his life since he was fifteen, gone.
After what he’d done, he deserved worse. But he didn’t want to lose her. That could never happen. He wouldn't let it happen.
In a perfect world, one where he wasn't a natural born killer, he could have a girl like that. Sweet. Sunshine practically pouring out of her. A completely normal life filled with all those silly things that couples did. Brunches at Bryant Park, walks around the city talking about nothing, horseback riding in Central Park. All that stuff he’d always seen as cheesy and stupid. But cheesy or not, they were things he would never have. That was family. That was love.
That's not for you.
No. He knew that. He’d learned that lesson a long time ago.
From her bedroom, he heard a low buzzing noise, kind of like her phone was ringing. He immediately rolled over to his side, and picked up his phone off of her coffee table. He’d paired their phones together. Yes, without her knowledge, but it was for her own good. Whatever, he’d eat guilt on this one. But there were no incoming calls, or text messages. What the hell?
When he rolled back to his side and his dick dropped again, he suddenly had a very good idea of exactly what she was doing in there. And it made his blood run hot. His muscles bunched as he tried to force his brain to think of anything other than Lucia using that monster dildo on herself. Legs splayed wide, eyes rolled back in her head, panting.
No. Stop it now.
He couldn't have her, so he wasn't thinking about her like that. That was just a recipe for — Jesus Christ. The buzzing was still going on.
With a growl, he called out, "You’d better not be using that monster vibrator in there. You know I can hear it."
Immediately the buzzing stopped. She was silent. Quiet as a church mouse. Her happy drawer went again
st everything in his mind of exactly who Lucia was. The problem was that in a twisted way, that knowledge only made her way more interesting. And even more damn untouchable. With a frustrated moan, he sat up.
"Hey, DeMarco. Just wondering, does that thing stand up and tap dance too? Inquiring minds and all that."
Yeah, he was giving her shit. Being an asshole. But he needed her to stop using that thing. It was bad enough he kept thinking of all the myriad ways he could use it on her. Those dirty thoughts weren’t going to help either of them sleep.
He called out again. "What's the matter? Pussy got your tongue?"
Shit. His brain was working against him. Now all he could do was think about his tongue on her p—never mind all that.
"You know, I hear you can go blind if you use those things too much."
Noah lay back against the pillow and smiled into the darkness when he heard one of her drawers slam shut.
If he wasn't getting any sleep tonight because of his raging erection, then neither was she.
Number of attempted orgasms: 1.
Number of setting changes on battery-operated boyfriend: 4.
Number of hours of sleep obtained: 0.
Number of attempts to stop thinking about Noah: Infinite.
Lucia had slept like a monkey’s ass, and her mood was not made any better by Noah with his tight-shirted workout that morning. She managed to stumble out of her room, bleary-eyed and in desperate need of coffee, only to find him in work out gear doing push-ups in her living room. Beads of sweat clung to his hair and his muscles were clearly defined under his clothes. And the worst part was, he looked—delicious.
There, she said it. He looked amazing. Sweat had molded the T-shirt to his ridiculous body. She may or may not have spent a good couple of minutes counting his abs. Or licking them in her mind.
No. Stop it. Noah is the devil. She hated him. Okay, so not exactly hated, but he pissed her off like no other.