“McKinley, you don’t understand,” Jake said, slowly, as if explaining something to a child. “Ever since I saw you that day, getting so pissed off at me for taking your spot on Space Mountain, I’ve wanted you. I couldn't get you out of my head; why did you think I came looking for you? You made that kind of impression on me. I wanted you.”
I shook my head. “That’s not how it works, Jake. You’ve grown up in this world where everything is just handed to you. Just because you want someone doesn’t mean you just get them.”
“But I did get you! I fought for you, baby. I could have anyone. Yeah, I said that. I could literally have anyone. But I chose you. I don’t want anyone else.”
“Do you hear how ridiculous you sound?” I said, my heart slamming in my chest. This was not how things were supposed to go. Break-ups were not supposed to go like this, not when I was involved. “You are such a cocky bastard.”
“And yet you’ve been having sex with me for the past five months,” Jake retorted, his voice full of impatience.
“Are you a sixteen-year-old girl? Sex doesn’t equal feelings! It doesn’t mean I’m going to be with you forever. Just because I had sex with you doesn’t mean that I feel anything more than a general liking for you. I mean, Jesus, Jake, look at yourself in the mirror. Who wouldn't want to have sex with that?"
“You’re trying to hurt me right now. You use cutting words and maybe that works with everyone else, Kinley, but it doesn’t work with me.”
“Don’t call me that,” I said, sharply.
He kept talking, as if he hadn’t heard me. He stepped closer to me, looking like he wanted to reach out to me, but thankfully, he didn’t. I didn’t know if I could have kept my resolve if he had. “You try so hard to act like you don’t care, but you do. I’m not stupid, I know that you do.”
“I don’t,” I said, firmly. “You mean nothing, Jake Kennedy. You are nothing more than a fun time that I’ll look back on with good feelings. But I definitely don’t feel anything for you.”
“Stop, McKinley, just stop!” Jake said, throwing out his arms in surrender. “Fine, it’s meant nothing. It’s been nothing. Are you happy now? I don’t love you. Is that what you want to hear?” His voice got louder and harsher with each question.
I felt like I had been slapped. My mouth seemed to have a mind of its own. “Yes,” I whispered.
For a moment, just a brief moment, long enough for me to catch it, I saw the absolute disappointment and misery on his face. Then as quickly as it had covered his face, it was gone. “Fine. But what exactly do you plan on doing now huh? Starting a career? Becoming famous? I heard about the shoot for Lush magazine. You think these offers are going to still be coming in when you’re not dating me anymore?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “I think I can handle staying in this business without you. They want McKinley Evans, not Jake Kennedy’s girlfriend.”
“Fine, then do it without me,” Jake said, coldly. “But then you do it completely without me. That includes Wendy and Adrienne.”
I laughed. “Oh, do you think I want to be in this business? Take it all away, Jake; take it all away. See if I care,” my voice dripped with sarcasm. “And neither one of them are stupid. They aren’t going to walk away from someone who is pretty popular at the moment.”
“What happened to you?” he asked, his voice full of surprise. “This isn’t you.”
I looked down at the ground for a moment, staring at a crack in the pavement. It reminded me of the scar on Jake’s back and for a moment, I actually felt sad. “That’s the thing, Jake. This is me.”
He shook his head, as if refusing to believe it. “It’s not, Kin…McKinley. I know you. I know who you are. And I don’t understand why you’re doing this.”
“I told you,” I said, softly. “I warned you way back in August. I told you didn’t want to get involved with me. You just didn’t want to listen.”
“So that’s it then?” Jake asked, his voice low. “After all this time, its just over?”
“It was only five months, Jake,” I pointed out.
“Yeah, the happiest five months that I’ve had in a really long time, Kins.”
I swallowed hard, unable to come up with any sort of answer to that statement. All I could think of was sitting in this exact parking lot, giving in to him, even when I knew it was wrong. And now, all these months later, we were breaking up, in the worst possible way.
Jake looked upset that I had nothing to say. He nodded his head, as if deciding something. He kicked a rock on the ground, and then looked back up at me. I let our eyes meet for a second before I looked away. “Thanks for taking that away from me.”
I waited a few moments before raising my eyes. He was already in his car, pulling away. I took a deep breath, wondering where the sudden urge to cry was coming from. It was done; it was over. This was something that I wanted, something I had been planning for so long and it was finally done. I took another deep breath and headed back inside.
* * * * * *
“You did what?” Amanda shrieked.
“Jesus, Amanda, do you have yell so loud?” I complained, rubbing my ears.
Amanda ignored me, a look of anger on her face. “Oh shut up. McKinley, please tell me you’re joking right now.”
I sighed, exasperated and impatient. “I’m not lying. I broke up with Jake.”
Her face crumpled. “Oh, McKinley, how could you?”
“What do you mean, how could I?” I asked, surprised. “Amanda, that is why I do! And the guy told me he loved me. How insane is that!” I laughed.
Amanda stared at me, no amusement coloring her features at all. “How can you find this funny? This isn’t Daniel. This isn’t Gabriel. This is Jake Kennedy.”
“Seriously, Amanda? I thought we’d moved on from the Jake Kennedy obsession,” I scoffed.
“Stop. Just stop. What is wrong with you?” Amanda asked, shaking her head. “Are you really that stupid?”
I turned to glare at her. “How the hell am I being stupid?”
“McKinley, the guy loves you! And you love him too! He’s perfect for you. You’ve been saying all this time that you want a boy who was different, who was full of excitement and could make your life exciting. Am I right? And you found him and not only is he everything you possibly could ever want, but he loves you and is willing to put up with all the bullshit that comes along with you,” Amanda burst out. I opened my mouth to interrupt and she glared at me. “You just screwed up big time.”
“Amanda,” I said, calmly, a little shaken by her outburst. “I do not love Jake Kennedy. I have never felt anything more than a general fondness for him. It’s over. It’s the way it should be.”
“Call him,” she pleaded, holding out my phone to me. “Apologize. Get him back before it’s too late.”
I stared at my phone, blankly. For a moment, I was almost tempted to grab the phone and call Jake. It was gone almost instantly, though it lingered, almost unnoticeable in the back of my mind. “But I don’t want him back.”
“You’re so stupid, McKinley. You can’t even see what’s in front of you,” Amanda said, sadly. “You didn’t see it like the rest of us did. You were so much happier with Jake. Do you realize how little you actually smile?”
“I smile all the time,” I argued.
“No, you don’t. Oh, sure, you have your charming smiles and your smiles when you want something. You have those fake smiles,” Amanda explained. “But a real, actual genuine smile? You don’t do those often. All you do is glare and scowl and make faces.”
I scowled at her. “Well, whatever, who cares?”
“I do!” she said, loudly. “Of course I do! I want you to smile for real, because it reflects how you’re feeling. And I’ve never seen you have so many genuine smiles as you did with Jake. You were different with him, McKinley. Why can’t you see it?”
“Maybe I don’t want to see it, have you thought of that?” I snapped at her. “And anyway, this is my decisi
on, isn’t it? And I made the right one, whether you believe it or not.”
“I can’t even…I can’t even look at you right now.” She stood up, her fists clenched.
“Amanda?”
“No, just don’t. I told you. I warned you not to! But you’re McKinley Evans, you do what you want to,” she said, softly, turning to the door. “But I can’t do it this time. I just can’t watch you fuck up so bad.” She turned the handle, left the room, slamming the door behind her.
I had broken up with Jake. I had spent so much of my free time with him that I’d almost forgotten what it was like to not be around him. I couldn’t call up Wendy or Cam or any of them. They belonged on the Jake side of things and a cardinal rule of a breakup was to break up with everyone, not just the boyfriend. Amanda wasn’t speaking me; she still saw this as the biggest mistake of my life.
My diner family took it almost as well as Amanda. They weren’t angry. They didn’t scream at me or go storming out of the place, slamming doors. The easiest reaction to handle was the disappointment. The hardest was the lack of surprise. It seemed that by now they had gotten used to the different guys in my life, coming in and out. They had known not to get attached. I didn’t know whether to be grateful or offended by this.
Luke was along the same lines as Amanda, only he didn’t slam doors or refuse to talk to me. He just told me I made a mistake, as calmly as he could and left it at that.
So I eased myself back into the diner. I picked up my normal shifts, the shifts I had been working on a regular basis before Jake Kennedy had blown a tornado through my world. I continued going to classes. I had the one obligation to Lush cosmetics-I had signed a contract after all-and then I was done. Part of me, a big part, wanted to stay in the business. Adrienne had called me after the break-up, tried to talk some “sense” into me but she said nothing about dropping me as a client. In fact, she had even mentioned a few scripts for some minor roles. It was hard for me to turn down; this was something I had actually grown to like. I couldn’t let myself be pulled back in though. If I was going to have Jake out of my life, I had to do it completely.
It was easier said than done, if you don’t mind the cliché.
For one thing, I was still fairly recognizable. Sure, not everybody knew who McKinley Evans was but enough people did to recognize me when I went out, even if it was just to the grocery store. And everybody wanted to know everything about Jake Kennedy.
Then there was the fact that no one was really happy about us breaking up, and that was extended past just my family and friends. People on the streets were actually coming up to me and yelling at me. It was a little scary and had kept me in doors for the most part.
Iris and Cassandra had also told me that the media was in frenzy about it. It was obvious that Jake was so not over me. We had spent so much of our time together, out on the town, making sure to be seen. Now, Jake had basically gone into hiding. He hadn’t been at many events in the last couple weeks and Adrienne’s issued statement was not flying.
Lastly, Valentine’s Day had come and past without a notice. I didn’t have a date. For the first time since I had been about twelve years old, I hadn’t had a date on Valentine’s Day. Instead, I had stayed home, watching movies and working on a paper that I had due for one of my classes. I had always told myself that I didn’t need a guy; I never needed a guy. But this time, I felt extremely let down. Luke was out with a ‘friend’, Monica, who had gotten cheap tickets to Disneyland. Amanda was still refusing to talk to me and was presumably with Mike. Even Cassandra and Oliver were now together and spending the day together. It was just depressing.
My luck was about to change though. I was doing a lunch shift at the diner, a few days before my grandmother, Olivia, was scheduled to come out. I had a lot to do in the next few days. I wanted to make sure the diner was spotless and perfect for her arrival and I didn’t have a lot of time to do so. I had tests coming up in almost all my classes and I still had the Lush photo shoot to do. I was stressed and it was showing. I had thrown my hair up in an extremely messy ponytail and hadn’t even bothered to put on any make-up when he came in.
I noticed him right off the bat. He was tall, but not extremely so, not like Jake. He had light brown hair, clipped short, and an easy smile. He was obviously a student, a backpack thrown over his shoulder, and he took the corner booth, usually reserved for those who wanted to spend hours doing their homework for cheap and unlimited refills of coffee.
“I so call that,” I whispered to Crystal. She shook her head; lips pursed, but didn’t say anything. I grabbed a menu and headed over to his table. “Hi, how are you doing today?”
The guy looked up at me, big grin on his face. “I’m awesome. Hungry.”
“Well, I definitely can fix that,” I laughed, suddenly very aware of my appearance. I kept my smile on my face. Confidence was the most important thing, not your appearance.
“Well, what can you recommend…” he trailed off, a question in his voice. He glanced at my work shirt for a nametag but of course there wasn’t one.
“McKinley,” I supplied.
He grinned. “Pete.” He held out his hand and I shook it. I studied him for a quick moment. Light brown hair, deep dark brown eyes, tall but not too tall, built but not too built. And best of all, he wasn’t Jake Kennedy. He was perfect.
“Well, Pete, I’d say go with the BLT. You can never go wrong with a Luke’s BLT,” I suggest, pointing to it on the menu.
“Sounds awesome,” he said, handing the menu back to me and pulling a notebook out of his backpack.
“Oh, it will be,” I promised, winking at him and turning to walk away. I didn’t have to look back to see if he was watching. I knew he was. When I reached the counter, I whispered to Crystal, “Is he looking?”
She sighed, glancing over her shoulder. “Of course he is,” she answered, filling up ketchup and mustard bottles from the huge jugs.
“Perfect,” I said, smiling mischievously. “He’ll be over here before he leaves. Easily.”
“Mmhmm,” she said, nodding. I glanced at her, wondering if there was something wrong. Usually Crystal was amused by our little game. Something had to have been wrong at home or maybe she was tired.
I brought out Pete’s food later, dropping it off with a smile.
He took a bite of the sandwich, nodding. “Yeah, that’s awesome.”
“Did you ever doubt me?” I teased.
“Maybe just a little,” he admitted.
“Well, now you know better,” I said, leaning towards him a little to whisper that and then pulling back. “Enjoy, Pete.”
I spent the rest of the time that Pete was there behind the counter. I had made an impression and that really all that was necessary for that. If it had worked-which it usually did-he would be up at the counter before long. I did catch his eye a few times and would accompany it with a smile and an eyewink before turning to engage Crystal in conversation. Crystal stayed sullen for the rest of her shift, though I still couldn’t figure out why.
I had just finished restocking everything in the front of house and was just starting to wipe tables down when Pete came up to me. “Hey,” I said, turning towards him. “Heading out of here?”
“Yeah,” he said. “I think I’ve been out of my apartment long enough.” I looked at him, questioning. “My roommate is horrible.”
I laughed. “That sucks!”
“Yeah, well,” he shrugged, smiling. “It happens. Well, see you around, McKinley.” He turned around and started heading towards the door.
I felt my mouth drop open. What the hell had just happened? I knew it was February and I had been dating Jake Kennedy since August, but there was no way I had lost it that fast. Maybe he was gay. Maybe I smelled. Maybe I really, really needed to put some make-up on. I tossed my towel on the table, feeling a little frustrated. I didn’t want to keep Pete; I just needed to use him for a little bit.
“Hey, McKinley?”
I looked up and saw th
at Pete was standing in the doorway. “Yeah? What’s up?”
“I was heading to this show tonight, in L.A. My friend’s band is playing. I was wondering…would you like to come?” he asked.
I bit back a smile. I paused, as if thinking about it. “Yeah, sure. I have nothing else to do tonight. Pick me up at seven?”
He nodded, looking pleased. “Sure.”
I turned back around, hiding the huge grin I had on my face. Oh yeah, I still had it.
We ended up at the Key Club in the Sunset Strip in Hollywood. Pete’s friends band was a ska band, not exactly my cup of tea but it was fun. Pete had complimented my outfit and opened the door for his car. I remember feeling a little letdown at the sight of his car, an old ’98 Toyota Corolla. I had gotten way too used to riding around in Jake’s stupid Volante. I brushed it aside though. He was sweet, asking me things about my life and paying my way into the club.
A Little Less than Famous Page 24