Gravity (Free Falling)

by St. Pierre, Raven

  She gasped again. “What is up with this dude? Is he like the fatal attraction type or something?”

  “I never would’ve thought he’d do something like this. I mean, I knew that he still had feelings for me, but I NEVER thought he’d do something this drastic.”

  “What else has he been doing?” She inquired.

  “I…..It’s just…..I can’t really put my finger on any one thing, but he’s just been giving me a weird vibe. He’s supposed to be getting an apartment near Charleston to be near me. Stuff like that. When he first said it back around the time we first broke up I understood why he was still holding on so tightly, but I thought he would’ve moved on after all this time has passed.”

  She hesitated. “So, how are you holding up?”

  “I don’t even know if I totally believe it yet. It just doesn’t seem possible that he and I aren’t going to be together.”

  “Well, you never know, Sammy. Maybe it’s not really over.” Her words gave me a glimmer of hope. “Now what’d you say to Antonio?” She asked.

  “Nothing. You’re the only person I’ve talked to about it so far.”

  “Are you kidding me?” She yelled. “Hang up now and clock out on him A.S.A.P.” She laughed quietly. “And of course call me when you get done to tell me all about it.”

  “Shut up, Angel.” I thought about it for a few seconds. “Maybe you’re right. Call you back.”

  “Don’t forget,” she replied.

  I didn’t really blame AJ for not believing me, but I could definitely blame Antonio for what he’d done. I dialed his number swiftly and prayed that he’d pick up, and if he did he’d wish that he hadn’t soon enough.

  “Hey, Sam,” Antonio answered.

  “Why’d you do it, Antonio?” I asked angrily.

  “Do what?” He was trying to sound like he didn’t know what I was talking about.

  “You know what? Why’d you do it?” I lashed out.

  “Sam, I’m being for real. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  I was livid. “I’m gonna kill you!” I hissed.

  “Fine, but could you at least tell why I’m gonna die today?”

  “The picture, Antonio! The picture!”

  “What picture. What are you talking about?” He asked.

  “The one you had Brian or Terrence or whoever send to AJ’s phone during prom.”

  “I didn’t have anybody send anything to his phone. I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

  “Antonio, I need you to understand that I will seriously let the life out of you if you don’t tell me the truth.”

  “I know you have your heart set on causing me bodily harm, but I’m telling the truth. I didn’t do it,” he replied.

  Could he be telling him the truth? But if he is, then who else would do something like that? I suddenly had a new theory about who sent the picture to AJ. There was only one other person who had the motive to do something like this.

  “Are you telling me the truth? Because if you are I think I may know who really did this.”

  “Sam, I’ve never lied to you. I really didn’t have anything to do with it.”

  Something from that night came back to mind. When I was explaining the complications that AJ and I were having, I remember seeing Antonio glance over toward the restaurant entrance. He even said that he thought he saw someone that he recognized. “You thought you saw someone you knew that night. Right?” I asked.

  He took a minute to think back. “Yeah. I wouldn’t say I knew her.”

  “Who was it? What’s her name?” I was desperately trying to put all the pieces together.

  “I don’t know her name, but she’s in my English class.”

  I sighed. “Well, what does she look like, Antonio? Give me something.”

  “She’s a white girl, tall, I guess she’s kind of pretty. And her hair is red. Bright red.”

  I knew it……Leila! I hung up on Antonio without giving him any explanation and immediately dialed Deanna.

  “Hello?” She answered.

  “Hey. I need to come talk to you about something,” I replied.

  “Come on by. You Ok? I’ve been trying to call you for the past three days. Karl said he hasn’t heard from AJ either. You guys just disappeared right in the middle of the dance.”

  “I’ll explain everything when I get there. I’m on my way.” I hung up and grabbed my purse and keys. I’d have to tell Angel about this later. Mom was shocked to see me breeze past her and rush to my car. I fumbled with trying to get the car door open, but got in quickly and sped off toward Deanna’s house.

  I was in shock. Not even once had it crossed my mind that Leila could be the one behind this whole thing. She had been away for so long that I actually didn’t even realize that she was a threat anymore. If she was there that night in December, then that meant that she must’ve been watching my house when Antonio came to pick me up. She’d followed us to the restaurant and we presented her with a golden opportunity to finally end my relationship with AJ. It was a genius move, saving the picture until halfway through prom – I couldn’t have planned that better myself. She wanted to ruin the evening……..and my life.

  It felt like I was becoming angrier and angrier as I drove toward the more congested part of town where Deanna lived. Some reckless driver cut me off and I was forced to slam on the brakes. I looked up into the rearview mirror to make sure that I hadn’t pissed off the driver in back of me and my breath ceased. Behind me, with her hair blowing like the very fires of hell……was Leila. Her expression was blank as she seemingly stared right into my eyes through the reflection in the mirror.

  I pulled out my phone to call Deanna. My eyes were only off the road for two seconds while I dialed, but when I looked back up she was gone.

  “You here already?” Deanna asked.

  “No, I’m on my way, but I just saw Leila. I think she’s following me. Well, she was anyway. I don’t see her anymore.” I looked at each car around me, but couldn’t spot her.

  “Did you see which way she went?”

  “No, I looked down to call you and when I checked again she was already gone.” I started to think that I’d imagined the whole thing. “Maybe I’m losing it. Forget I called. Be there soon.”

  When I hung up, my head whipped wildly from left to right several times as I approached the red light. Confusion mounted. Where’d she go? As my pulse raced and fear gripped my throat, I considered the possibility that seeing her was nothing more than a hallucination. That had to be it. It made sense. I laughed at myself, shook off the paranoia, and pulled out into the intersection when the light changed. My heart settled to a steady pace again and I took a deep breath as I eased my hands down the steering wheel.

  At the sound of horns blaring and tires screeching across the pavement, the tension returned – sending every muscle in my body into paralysis. The relief I’d so foolishly allowed to disarm me was abruptly snatched away. I instinctively gripped the steering wheel tighter until my fingers nearly became one with the leather. I searched for the oncoming danger that the other drivers apparently saw. I couldn’t decide whether to speed up or to brake. Whatever the threat, I was blind to it.

  It was then that I turned to my left to search again. My body became rigid. Shock overcame me and the consuming paralysis finally spread to my brain. Each passing second felt like an hour. It was as though the entire scene was unfolding in slow motion. I could see her smiling as she accelerated toward me with hatred in her eyes. There was no way to avoid the oncoming accident. It was inconceivable – this girl actually despised me enough to risk losing her own life just to end mine. I closed my eyes and braced myself. The ominous silence as I accepted my fate was so heavy that it anchored me to my seat. On impact, the deafening noise flooded my senses. Metal twisted and bowed around me as I closed my eyes. The windows seemed to explode simultaneously, causing glass to whisk through the air, slicing into my skin like searing razor blades.

&nbs
p; The last fleeting memory that I have from that day is the sensation of intense pain that engulfed my body. Every dream, every regret, every mistake, every fear, every hope, all of the things that I should have said to those that I love, every apology that I owed, every wrong that I’d committed, suddenly spread through my brain like wildfire – accompanying the physical pain in perfect syncopation.

  Instinctively, I held my breath as the car spun and flipped violently across the road and finally down the embankment. Fear had taken on a life of its own as it choked me vengefully. Life had a score to settle and a balance to restore. As everything began to go dark and silent, I had a moment of clarity, realizing how all of my actions had come full circle. This – all of it – was my fault. It seemed appropriate that I was reaping what I sowed. I’d done enough wrong in the past few months for three lifetimes. At what felt like the end for me, there was nothing I could do to change the past.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “Shh shh shh. I think she’s waking up,” a voice whispered. My eyelids felt like they were fighting to stay closed as my brain willed them open. The hazy pale white light made them ache as I tried to focus. Slowly, the figures around me began to take shape. My mother leaned down toward me and smiled. My immediate reaction was to sit up, but the searing pain in every limb of my body made that impossible. “Don’t try to move just yet, Baby Girl,” Daddy said. I moved my eyes to the right and saw him standing beside me. My eyelids suddenly felt heavy again and I had no choice but to let them close.

  “I think she’s going to be okay, “ I heard my father say quietly and then it sounded like he was choking back tears, but that couldn’t have been right because I’d never seen my father cry in my entire life. Mom picked up my hand and stroked the back of it softly. I mustered up the strength to open my eyes again, but only halfway this time. There were others in the room, but I couldn’t make out who anyone else was.

  I squinted to force myself to focus, but a sharp pain shot through my head causing me to gasp for air loudly. My mother panicked and held my hand more tightly. “Don’t overdo it honey. Just relax. Everything’s going to be fine. We’re here with you.”

  My heart was beating wildly from the rush of pain that I’d just experienced and I noticed that taking deep breaths was difficult. I heard someone move closer to me and then there was a rustling sound off to my left. “Her blood pressure is still elevated, so that tells us that she’s still in quite a bit of pain. I’m increasing the morphine – that should help take the edge off,” the unfamiliar voice stated. A few seconds later I felt woozy and in spite of how hard I fought it I drifted off to sleep.

  When I came to again, my eyes focused more clearly than before. My parents were still sitting at my side and then I noticed AJ in a chair at the foot of the bed, leaning back staring up at the ceiling. I wanted so bad to call out to him, but I didn’t have the strength. I lifted my hand as high as I could and that was enough to get his attention. He immediately got up from his seat and rested his hand on mine. Tears welled in his eyes as he stared at me lying there helplessly.

  “I’m so sorry,” I whispered. My chest tightened when I became emotional and there was a sharp pain in my side.

  “Don’t try to talk. I was being stupid about the whole thing. None of that matters,” he replied softly. A tear rolled down my cheek and I felt a rush of relief flow through my body at the realization that he’d forgiven me.

  “How bad is it?” I asked. He had to lean in to hear what I was saying.

  “It could have been a lot worse. Don’t worry about that for right now.” He was trying to pacify me with that answer, but he knew better. He took a breath and looked up at my parents. I’m guessing that after he got the ok from them, he continued. “Two of your ribs are broken; you have a concussion and stitches in your arm from where the glass cut you.”

  I began to recall bits and pieces from the accident. The image of Leila’s face just before she careened into me flashed into my mind. “Where is she?” I asked in a panicked whisper. AJ knew exactly who I was talking about. He looked remorseful and dropped his gaze to the floor. When he lifted his eyes to meet mine, he shook his head from side to side. She didn’t make it? It didn’t make sense. How was I still here and she wasn’t?

  “How did you know I was here?” I asked.

  “Your father called me as soon as he got the call from the police,” AJ explained. “Then I called everybody else. Deanna, Karl, Randy and Chris are all in the waiting room.”

  “Did she tell you what happened with Leila?” I inquired.

  His expression was solemn. “Yeah, she told me everything,” he said as he lowered his head. “This is all my fault. I should’ve made sure that she…” He started to tear up again, so he stopped midsentence.

  “AJ you had no way of knowing that she would do something like this. Stop blaming yourself. I’m just glad you’re here.” I wished that I could sit up and hug him. If I were able, I probably wouldn’t have ever let him go.

  “Let’s give them some privacy, James,” Mom whispered. She stood and patted my hand sympathetically before they exited the room. When they were out of sight, AJ leaned down and kissed me cautiously. I’d missed his touch so much and had feared that I wouldn’t be this close to him again. He was noticeably careful, which struck me as strange.

  “Are you scared to touch me now?” I asked, smiling weakly. He seemed like my question was making him nervous and I saw his eyes wandering over my face. “What?” I asked, starting to panic.

  “Nothing……it’s nothing,” he said reassuringly and forced a smile, but I didn’t believe him. I struggled to lift my hands slowly to my face and pressed them against it hesitantly. There were so many tiny gashes that I couldn’t even find one inch of clear skin.

  “What happened? Give me a mirror!” I demanded hysterically.

  AJ grabbed my hands as I frantically touched each gash. He tried to calm me down, but I fought against him for a few seconds until the pain in my left side limited my strength. He held my hands down to my sides to keep me from hurting myself.

  “Sam, you have to calm down. It’s not as bad as you think.” He stared at me as I panted. “The doctors said that they’re not even bad enough to stitch up.” He was doing his best to keep me calm, but it wasn’t working. All I could think about was looking like a monster when this was all over with.

  “But it’s my face, AJ!” I had to make him understand why I was so upset. “I can’t hide my face from everyone for the rest of my life.”

  “Sam, you could have been killed. Don’t you think that a few scratches on your face aren’t that big of a deal?” He asked.

  “A few scratches?” I scoffed. He looked defeated and loosened his grip on my hands.

  “I need a mirror,” I demanded.

  He frowned at me. “Absolutely not. It doesn’t matter.” He emphasized every word like I was hard of hearing. His sternness forced me to give up. The unyielding expression on his face softened and he let me go. My eyes followed him as he dragged his chair over to the side of the bed. He sat down and stared at the floor while he spoke. “I was so scared when I got the message from your dad. He sounded so worried and I thought you were…….I didn’t know what to think. I felt so stupid for getting mad about that whole thing when I considered that that could’ve been our last conversation.” He paused. “I know you were telling me the truth. I should’ve believed you in the first place.”

  Having him back was definitely a dream come true, but if I was going to be worthy of him trusting me totally, I’d have to tell him everything – even about the kiss. The monitor beside my bed began beeping erratically as my pulse quickened with the thought of laying everything bare. He looked at the machine and then back at me with concern in his eyes. “AJ, there’s something else that you need to know.” He looked up at me questioningly. “In October when we first started going out…..Antonio kissed me……and I didn’t stop him.” AJ looked so disappointed in me that I almost regretted telli
ng him, but he deserved to know. “It was wrong and I’m not making excuses for what I did.” He didn’t move at all. “Do you want me to stop?” I asked, considering that this was too much for him.

  He cleared his throat. “No, I’m fine. Go ahead.” I knew that telling him this could end badly, but I had to tell him. I wanted him back, but I wanted for us to have a clean slate. I owed him that.

  “Well, it was around the time that we got into that argument about you not telling your parents about me. Antonio called just to check on me.” AJ rolled his eyes, not believing that was Antonio’s only motive. “He asked me if we could hang out and I agreed,” I added.

  “He came to your house?” AJ asked.

  There was no easy way to put this. It was as bad as it sounded. “No, he asked me to come over to his house.” AJ put his head down. “I went and we sat together on the couch to talk. And that was honestly my only intention……but I guess he had other plans.” I didn’t go into any more detail than that.

  AJ was thoughtful for a moment. “Is that everything?” He asked through clenched teeth.

  “Everything,” I replied. There was a weight lifted off my shoulders, but I wasn’t sure what having that sense of relief just cost me.

  His nostrils flared a little as I watched his shoulders rise and fall with each breath. He was trying to deal with what I’d just told him and I understood that it wasn’t an easy thing. “I know that he kissed you, but why’d you let him?” He asked dryly.

  “That question has crossed my mind too, but I’m not really sure. I guess I didn’t want to hurt him anymore than I already had by pushing him away and rejecting him again.” I hesitated as I tried to dissect my own logic. “Maybe at the time there were still some confused feelings. Keep in mind that our breakup was sudden and I probably didn’t make as clean of a break as I thought I did. “

  It surprised me to see that he seemed to understand what I was trying to say. He moved his hand back to mine and gripped it firmly. What was he thinking? “We didn’t get together under ideal circumstances and I can see how you could’ve gotten caught up like that.” He stared straight into my eyes as he spoke. “I’m glad you told me.”