As he pulled away from the apartment building, he lit a cigarette. Turning onto West Florissant Road, he wished he could go home to find Honey waiting in his bed.
He had meant to end it there ... just a simple kiss to remind her of what they once had. Or rather, what could be if she allowed the chemistry between them to evolve. Something to put in her mind so that while she was with Darrius, her mind would be on him.
As he turned down Chambers Road, he was tempted to drive by Honey’s house to see if Darrius’s car was parked in her driveway. It was almost midnight; if he was there, it wouldn’t be a good sign. But even though he still couldn’t get the two of them out of his mind, Jay resisted the impulse.
When it rained, it fuckin’ poured, and right now it was hailing on top of his black ass.
Eleven
A noisy commotion caught Honey’s attention the momentshe climbed out of the car. Tightening the wool scarf around her face, she reached for her purse and dashed across the snow-covered sidewalk. Entering the salon, she found the reception area overflowing with females.
“What the fuck?”
Honey pushed her way through the crowd of women waving dollar bills in the air. The music was so loud she thought she was at a rap concert. As soon as she reached the center of the room, she realized what all the commotion was. One of Rashad’s employees, whom they called B-Daddy, was flexing and wiggling to the sound of LL Cool J’s “Head Sprung.”
A pissed-off Honey moved over to the stereo and hit the power button with her finger.
“What the ... ?” Rashad’s voice drained at the expressionon his sister’s face.
“What the hell’s going on?” Standing only inches away from her brother, Honey folded her arms across her chest as she tried to control her rage.
Rashad shrugged sheepishly. “Just havin’ a lil’ fun.”
“Fun? Fun?” she said. “This ain’t a fuckin’ strip club! This is a place of business.” Realizing she was making a scene, she lowered her voice to a heavy whisper. “Your mothafuckin’ ass is supposed to be workin’.” She peered around the work area with a fist planted on her hip. “All of you should be workin’.”
Candy bolted to her chair, dropping her money on the floor along the way. All five stylists quickly scatteredto their stations while the customers who’d been observing scrambled to take a seat.
B-Daddy reached for his shirt, mumbled, “Sorry, Honey,” and rushed through the makeshift door.
Giving her brother one long stare, Honey stomped off to her office with all eyes on her. Rashad came behindher, trying to explain.
“Sis, we were on our break. B-Daddy just won first prize in one of those bodybuilding contests and one of the ladies wanted to see what the brotha was workin’ with.” He flashed her a twenty-four-karat smile. “It’s all good.”
“No, it ain’t.” Honey shook her head, hoping she didn’t look as confused as she felt, then lowered her head in her hands.
She was falling apart. She’d spent half the evening wondering whom Jay was with, and the rest of the night fucking her vibrator. Part of her was ready. She wanted his lips. His dick. His love. Lord have mercy. Even now, desire shuddered through her, so intense that it stripped away all pretenses. Besides her rape, she had no sexual experience whatsoever, yet she wanted to be sexing it with Jay. Because they wouldn’t be having sex, they would be making love.
She needed time to think, to sort this shit out. Everything was happening too fast. She was so scared of loving him. She was scared of him finding out she had been raped. Somehow, she had to deal with the fact that Jay wasn’t going away. She kept telling herselfshe couldn’t get involved with him. But she alreadywas. One touch from him and everything had come tumbling down. Jay owned her heart. He had somehow managed to unravel every ounce of her resistance.
She had to get her turbulent emotions under control. The simple truth was she was in love and ... yes, damn it, she was definitely losing it.
The other part of her was scared, so very scared of him finding out the truth and rejecting her. Her body was ready for intimacy but her mind wasn’t. Once he found out, Jay would realize he was wasting his time. She couldn’t bear for him to look at her with pity, and then deal with the rejection that would follow.
God, she was having a bad day. Last night, Mercedes had moved her stupid ass back home. This morning her fuckin’ toilet backed up. The heat in her car had stopped working. Then she came in to work to find a man with a body that could put Tyrese’s black ass to shame standinghalf naked in her salon. Trivial things never botheredher before. Now everything bothered her, trivial or not. She was in trouble.
And it was all Jay’s fault.
Honey flinched in her seat.
“What’s up, sis?” Rashad asked, his brow creased with concern.
Yep, she was losing it. She couldn’t even stay angry. She had to be falling apart.
“Rashad, I ain’t in the mood.” She raised her head and looked at him. “Whatcha need to be doing is tryin’ to make up for that shit.”
Honey had spoken so calmly she had Rashad worried.“No problem. Whatcha need?”
“I need heat.” Jay can warm you to the core of your existence. “Damn! I—I mean, I need the heat in my car fixed.”
“No problem. I’ll take care of it. You sure you’re aw’ight?”
I am in love and about to pull my fuckin’ hair out trying to deal with my emotions, but other than that, I’m just peachy. She nodded. “Yeah, I’m cool.”
“Good.” He breathed a sigh of relief, then turned to walk to the door.
She cleared her throat and called out to him, “Oh, and don’t think your ass is off the hook. We’ll talk later.” When I have my head screwed on right.
“I had no doubt.” He smirked before exiting the room.
Jay arrived in Chicago around noon, hailed a cab at the airport, and gave the driver directions to Pulsar’s Medical Research. The corporation had devised a retractablesyringe, which would cut down on the numberof nursing personnel sticking themselves with infected needles. Until the product was completely tested, though, they didn’t want any word of its existenceto leak out. A security system was needed to ensurethe secrecy of the product. Pulsar was a nationwide corporation. If Extreme Measures could outbid their competition, it would open up a lot of doors for the company. Luckily, the owner was a friend of the family.
As the cab pulled off the Eisenhower Expressway, Jay reached for his cell phone to check his messages. After listening to them, he only returned one call.
“Jay, I’m so glad you called me back,” Jocelyn said after they exchanged greetings.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you sooner. I’m going to be out of town until Thursday. What did you find out?”
She sighed into the receiver. “Well, according to the insurance company, the policy was left to James’s brother, Jhamil. But that’s impossible.”
“Why is that?”
“Because Jhamil is dead.”
“Hey, everybody,” Sasha called as she moved through the salon waving to all of the stylists.
Mercedes was saturating a woman’s hair with a strawberry rinse, but glanced over her shoulder. “Hey, Mama.”
Holding hot curlers in her hand, Aisha spied Sasha’s stomach. “How much longer you got?”
Pausing to rub her red sweater, Sasha answered cheerfully,“Three weeks and counting.” Then she looked over at the empty workstation and asked, “Where’s Honey?”
Sonya swiveled around, flipping booty-length auburn extensions across her shoulders. “Girl, she’s in her office.She fuckin’ flipped out.”
Sasha stopped in her tracks, eyes wide with wonder. “What happened?”
Moving over to the shampoo bowl at the back of the shop, Mercedes answered in a low voice, “She caught us goofing around and hit the roof.”
“We deserved it,” Aisha added as she reached for a can of hair spray. “Although Rashad is to blame.”
Swinging a
round in her seat, Candy rushed to his defense. “Don’t even go there.”
Aisha held up an open palm and barked, “Whatever!”at the receptionist. Everyone was well aware of Candy’s infatuation. They also knew she didn’t have a chance in hell of getting Rashad’s attention.
Turning back to Sasha, Aisha said, “Honey usually goes off, then she’ll laugh along with the rest of us. But this time was different.” She paused to glance down at her wristwatch. “It’s been three hours and she still hasn’t come out.”
Sasha pondered the possibilities a moment, then headed across the floor. “I guess I better go talk to her.” When she entered the office, she found Honey’s head down on the desk. “Knock, knock.”
“Go away,” Honey commanded.
“Girl, what’s wrong?”
Honey groaned. Not Sasha. “I’m just tired.”
Sasha moved to take a seat in a chair across from her desk. “Rashad’s friend keep you out too late?”
She snorted. “No. I just couldn’t sleep.”
“How was your date?”
“Fine.”
“That’s all? Just fine?” Sasha said, disappointed.
“I told you we were just friends.”
“Your staff is worried.”
“Let their asses worry! I’m sure they told you what they were doing.”
“They told me.”
Honey raised her head to find four heads peeking around the corner of her door. She couldn’t resist a grin. “Get back to work,” she ordered, and the heads disappeared. Then, reaching into her drawer, she removeda hairbrush.
Sasha leaned against her desk. “So what’s really going on?”
Looking down into a handheld mirror, Honey said, “Why does everyone think something’s going on? Maybe I’ve got PMS or something.”
“And maybe you’re hiding something from me,” Sasha retorted, but decided not to pursue the big mysteryuntil later. “I’m on my way to visit my mother. But I wanted to stop and invite you over this evening.”
Honey looked at her for the first time since she’d enteredher office. “Why? Is somethin’ wrong?”
Sasha rose slowly from the chair. “Does there have to be something wrong for me to invite my best friend over?”
“No,” Honey answered, but her voice held skepticism.
“Good.” Sasha smiled. “Then I’ll see you this evening.”
Honey stopped brushing her hair and said, “Is Jay going to be there?”
Sasha looked down at her, and immediately sensed her apprehension. “Why?”
“Because if he is, I ain’t comin’.”
Honey shifted her eyes, but not before Sasha saw the pain she was trying to hide. Instead of what she wanted to say, she said only, “No, he won’t be there. Jay left town this morning.”
“Good,” Honey said with a sigh. “I’ll see you this evening.”
The sun was melting the thin layer of snow when Honey pulled into the circular driveway at Andrews Manor. She rang the doorbell, then waited patiently for Sasha to waddle to the door, admiring the large wraparounddeck surrounded by shrubs. The twenty-room mansion dated back before the 1904 World Fair. Before Sasha had moved in and applied her creative skills, the grand house had reminded her of a mausoleum.
“Hey, girl.” Honey smiled at her best friend, hoping the look was convincing.
“What took you so long?” Sasha scolded. She moved aside so Honey could pass. “I pulled the lasagna out of the oven an hour ago.”
“Mmmm, you didn’t tell me you were cooking,” Honey said as she stepped into the huge marble foyer and hung her coat on the rack.
“What can I say?” she said, shrugging. “I was bored. Waiting on this baby, I have a lot of nervous energy. I think I’ve cleaned out all the closets. Our housekeeper had a fit.”
Honey laughed.
“Anyway ...” Sasha signaled with her hand. “Followme.”
Together they traveled up a winding staircase trimmed in rich oak to the suite at the end of the hall.
“Come on, girl,” Sasha called as she waddled rapidly down the hall. Honey tried to keep up.
“I’m comin’. I’m comin’,” Honey said, noting that Sasha was more excited than Honey had ever seen her before.
As soon as they reached the last door, Sasha turned to her and smiled. “Ready?”
Honey nodded.
Sasha opened the door and moved aside so her friend could step in first.
Honey walked in, and her heart swelled in her chest. It was the nursery for the baby.
The room was painted a pastel pink with balloons stenciled on all the walls. Balloons made from satin hung from the ceilings, and plush rose carpeting coveredthe floor. Moving across the room, Honey rubbed her hand along the white antique crib, noting the colorful balloon mobile at one end and windup music box at the other. Inside the crib was a comforter and sheet set that matched the décor, as well as several stuffed animals. The rest of the furnishings consisted of a wooden rockingchair, a changing table, and a tall white dresser.
“What do you think?” Sasha asked.
Eyes misty and voice full of emotion, Honey said, “It’s beautiful.”
“You think so? Mom and I spent hours getting this room together. She made all of the accessories. Terraineand Jay did all the labor. Can you believe it?”
Honey nodded, a sob lodged in her throat.
“I think Jay was more excited about getting this room together than we were. Maybe he’s ready to have a family of his own.” She brushed against Honey playfullyand winked. “Hint, hint.”
“That’s nice.” Honey moved away, reached for a yellowblanket draped over the rocker, and rubbed the softness against her cheek.
“What’s going on with you and Jay?”
Honey looked down, lips twitching. She couldn’t speak, afraid if she did the dam would give way.
Sasha’s eyes flickered over her face. She hadn’t missed the dark circles under her eyes. “I know how you feel about him.”
“No, you don’t,” Honey said softly. “You couldn’t begin to know.”
“So why don’t you tell me?”
The only thing to do was change the damn subject. “What’s in here?” Honey asked, and moved to the closet and opened it.
Sasha removed one of several outfits hanging in the closet. “Isn’t this adorable?” She was referring to a frilly peach dress with a matching bonnet.
Honey took it in her hands. The material was so soft, and the dress tiny. A little life. She couldn’t wait to hold her godchild in her arms. A tear spilled over, and she quickly moved away to hang it back in the closet. “Are you ready?”
Sasha sighed, her eyes glowing. “As ready as I will ever be. I’m so nervous. I don’t know the first thing about babies.”
Honey moved to embrace her. “You’re going to be a wonderful mother.” When they pulled apart, Sasha’s eyes were cloudy.
“I hope so. Thank God I have my mother.”
Clenching her eyes closed, Honey tried to keep back the flood of tears burning in their depths.
“You’re going to be a wonderful mother someday yourself,” Sasha said.
Honey shook her head, and the tears started flowing.
Sasha’s face creased with concern. “What’s the matter?”
Honey began to cry outright now. Sasha took her by the hand and moved down the hall to the master bedroom,took a seat on the massive poster bed, and patted the spot next to her. “Sit,” she commanded. Leaning over, she reached for a box of tissues from the nightstand and handed it to Honey. “Are you gonna tell me what’s been botherin’ you?”
Honey mopped her eyes again and swallowed hard before answering. “I can’t have children.”
Sasha’s concern turned to a look of dazed disbelief. “What do—” She stopped, paused, then gasped, “Why?”
Honey’s eyes locked with Sasha’s. “Remember Walter?”she said, her voice breaking.
Sasha thought for several seco
nds, then her mind registered. “The football player?”
Honey nodded. “Our senior year ... that mothafucka raped me,” she said quietly, tears flooding her eyes.
“Oh no!” Sasha shook her head, horrified, and mutteredsomething under her breath. She reached over and embraced Honey while her friend poured out years of bottled-up pain. “Oh my God,” she cried, her own eyes flooding with tears. “All these years, I ... I thought you were promiscuous, and you let me believe that. I’m so sorry!”
“I know you didn’t mean it,” Honey replied in a voice drawn and sad. Sasha held on to her until her cries subsided to soft sobs. Then Honey eased herself away, reached for another tissue, and blew her nose.
“Why’d you keep this bottled up inside?” Sasha said, hurt that Honey hadn’t trusted her. “I’m your best friend. I would have understood.”
“I tried to shut it out ... pretend the shit never happened,”Honey admitted.
Sasha hesitated, tears splashing down her face. “Does Jay know?”
Her eyes grew large with fear. “No, he doesn’t, and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell him.” She wouldn’t be able to stand it if she saw a look of pity in his eyes.
Sasha, still holding Honey’s hand, nodded. The movement shook loose fresh tears. “I can assume that’s the reason why you won’t let him get close to you.”
Honey nodded.
“You know, he loves you.”
Lowering her eyes, Honey took a deep breath, hopingto stem the fresh flow streaming down her face. “How do you know that?” she asked, even though deep down she’d known all along how he felt about her.
“We’ve all known how much he loves you,” Sasha said, smiling to show Honey comfort even though her heart filled with pain. “It’s written all over his face. I also know you love him.”
Honey sighed, refraining from making eye contact.
“Quit fighting it, Honey. You deserve to be happy.” Sasha lifted her chin, forcing Honey’s eyes to meet hers. The pain she witnessed made her stomach cringe. “I remember when I was in your shoes, letting Robby control my life. I didn’t think I was worthy of anyone’s love after that relationship. But you refused to let me wallow in self-pity. Now I look back and see that I almostlost the best thing to ever happen to me, loving Terraine.” She touched Honey’s hand. “You can’t quit living. Don’t you see? If you deny yourself happiness, then Walter has won. Don’t let that bastard ruin the rest of your life.”
When It Rains... Page 20