by Alex Lidell
Autumn may be able to guide me through seeking out the rip—she may even have a way of reversing the veil—but that comes down to crossing Mystwood.
Without River’s passage key, which he announced stolen from him only yesterday, doing so would be suicidal. Maybe I’ll go find the Sentinel Guild, see if they’ve a key squirreled away somewhere, or else brave Mystwood without it. With the magic acting the way it shouldn’t, maybe I’ll survive the passage—and at least dying in Mystwood forest would be swift, whereas watching my males not know me—not need me—hurts all the time.
So Guild or Autumn? Roam the mortal realm in relative safety to reach a possibly useless destination, or risk Mystwood to get to a more likely solution? I click my tongue, the proverbial dice spinning inside my mind to land with my friend’s face up. Autumn it is. The four males at the Academy, whether they know who they are or not, don’t need me to hold up the walls against whatever rodents come their way. They need me to help them regain themselves. And at present, I’m only making things worse.
It seems Gavriel had one thing right—the prophecy mentions no companions for the human turned fae, and here I am with none.
“I want you in the baths,” Coal says as we return to Academy grounds the same way we left—over the wall. It’s the most direct route from our forest path, though this time, my muscles shake numbly as I climb the high stone and shinny down the rustling tree. In the evening’s dimness, the human guards take Coal’s short grunt as all the reason they need to find employment elsewhere. “Then the infirmary.”
“I want it to be summer with flying squirrels,” I mutter over my shoulder. Sleep. I want sleep. Then I’ll ride out in the morning.
Coal quickens his pace, cutting off my path. Against the darkening sky, his silhouette rises like a powerful beast, his light hair at odds with the settling blackness. The grass out here beyond the inner walls is damp with dew and sparkling in the dying light. The Academy and its keep tower before us, torches and lanterns already lit in its many windows. Students settling into their last evening of freedom for the week. “I wasn’t making a suggestion.”
“No?” I raise my face to meet his, quelling the insane urge to kiss him and punch him, both—neither of which would help me just now. “I forget the term for when someone with zero authority tells someone who doesn’t give a damn what he wants her to do.”
“The term is now,” River says, stepping out of the shadows.
My breath freezes in my lungs. It’s the first time I’ve seen him since last night’s battle—since that promise of retribution in his cold gray eyes. If anything, he’s more dominating, more breathtaking than ever, his close-cropped dark hair framing a strong, perfectly sculpted face. A king’s face, though he doesn’t know it. His back is almost painfully straight, his broad chest covered in creaseless red wool. A chest I used to have unlimited leave to caress, to press my face into. I swallow a hard breath, a tiny squeak escaping my throat.
Apparently, the guard at the wall didn’t just melt out of the way, he went squealing to the keep tower. Head turning slowly, River sweeps Coal and me with his gaze, his nostrils flaring delicately. Taking in our mixed scents. Putting pieces together until his face is carved of cold marble.
Coal’s movements are so subtle, I can barely see the shift of muscles as he straightens before his commander, lifting his chin just enough to bare his neck to River. Not surrender, but a show of fealty. A promise to accept any sentence River might pass. My chest clenches.
“That now applies to both of you,” River says. “Infirmary. Go.” Turning on his heel, River strides away, his final words coming over his shoulder. “I will have clothes for you both sent there and will join you shortly.”
Coal’s shoulders stiffen, and I swallow a sigh. Little as I want to see anyone just now, I’m not going to let Coal face River’s wrath on his own. Even if it means facing Shade’s unrecognizing yellow eyes again, when I’d been hoping to leave with the memory of his wolf safely in my mind.
15
Lera
A half hour later, I sit wrapped in a woolen blanket on a worktable in Shade’s infirmary, the air around me filled with sharp-smelling salves—some of which are still tingling along the gashes on my back. Having smelled the situation of Coal and me with as much efficiency as River had earlier, Shade sent Coal into the other room before efficiently stripping me down to my undergarments with as little interest as if he were taking a saddle off a horse.
Now, Shade is quiet as he works, his healer’s hands sliding across my chilled muscles. It’s an effort of will to stop myself from sinking into Shade’s warm, callused palms. From nuzzling against his broad chest or velvety neck.
Shade’s long black hair is pulled back in a neat ponytail, his soft gray sweater covered beneath a starched white healer’s overcoat—the Academy’s red-and-gold crest stark against the fabric. Yes, the shifter is as stunning and clinically steady around my body as ever, but without a trace of the deep feeling I’m used to—the kind bedside manner a far cry from true affection. My stomach clenches. Some part of me has always known losing Shade would be the hardest. I just didn’t know it would leave me this hollow.
“—urine?”
I blink, realizing Shade had asked something. “Your pardon?”
“I asked whether you saw any blood in your urine when you used the chamber pot earlier,” Shade repeats.
My face blazes. “No.”
“Are you taking a tonic to avoid pregnancy?”
Oh, stars take me. I’m not, but my fae body hasn’t yet matured enough to start monthly bleeds. “Yes.”
“The tonics do not prevent the spread of sickness,” Shade tells me with a nonchalance of someone ensuring understanding of an arithmetic problem. “That is something to be conscious of if you take multiple partners.”
One more word and I swear my heated skin alone will set the infirmary on fire. I focus my thoughts on icy hail and frigid streams.
Shade puts a finger beneath my chin, forcing my face to his. “I expect an acknowledgment of understanding when I explain something important. If I cannot trust you to give me honest verbal answers, I will rely on a more thorough physical examination for the information I need.” His voice is kind despite his stern words. “That wasn’t a threat, just reality.”
I like you better as a wolf. “Understood,” I tell Shade quickly. “I’m aware bedding carries more risks than pregnancy and am careful. Is that acceptable?”
“And the tonic you lied about?”
I really like you better as a wolf. “I’ve not started bleeding. And yes, I am aware it is unusual. It is what it is. And… And no, I’m not bleeding now if you’re about to ask.”
Shade nods as if finding nothing odd about the conversation and thankfully stops talking. His clean earthy scent surrounds me, and I let my eyes close for one blissful moment, his hands inspecting an abrasion on my collarbone, pretending this is just another moment back in Lunos.
“I’ve no notion how you managed to return with only a few deep gashes and fatigue, but beside a whimperworthy muscle ache in the morning, you should be all right.” Shade’s voice is as warm as the crackling fire, but the professional distance in it stings more than the medicine he spreads.
I give him a tight smile. Mating with Coal had sped up the healing of my already quicker-to-heal body, though the crash from that boost is already on the horizon. My Shade would have known that. Would have yelled at Coal and me both for being reckless.
Moving to stand before me, Shade finds my gaze. “How are you feeling, cub?” he asks.
“I—” My heart stutters, the hope from that one word racing though my blood. I survey the male before me anew, taking in his wet hair and tired eyes. Shade’s wolf was gone for hours in a storm. Surely the male realizes his own absence, feels the fatigue of muscles from running across rough terrain. Might he now recall more than that? I force myself to breathe. “What did you call me?”
Shade’s eyes flicker up a
nd left. “Cub, I think.” Shade smiles, the lines around his beautiful, full mouth—his white teeth flashing against tan skin—making me choke with longing. He’s the first male, human or fae, I ever slept with, and he will always be the one who makes me feel safest. He pats my arm like I’m a child with a scraped knee. I suppress a growl. “Because you look small and nippy. I will not do it again if it bothers you.”
“It’s fine.” I wait, waiting for him to say something more. To remember. To at least narrow his gaze in thought.
Shade does narrow his gaze. “You seem to be having trouble focusing, Leralynn. Did you strike your head?”
I swallow a curse. “No. Just recovering from an intense day.” I clear my throat, waiting while Shade palpates my head despite my assurance of its intactness. “Why is your hair wet, Shade?”
Shade blinks, reaching back to brush his hand over the glistening strands. His befuddled gaze skitters to the window before returning to me. ”Same reason yours is, I imagine. It’s raining.”
“Your clothes are dry.”
“I changed,” Shade steps away, snatching up a bandage that’s gotten away from a basket of others. For a moment, the only movement in the room is that of Shade’s deft hands rolling the cloth. “I’m going to check in with Coal. River should be here shortly as well, then it is off to bed with you.”
“Not quite yet.” I pull the blanket tighter around myself. “I’m leaving the Academy.”
“So I’ve heard.” The utter lack of surprise or regret in Shade’s kind tone cinches my decision. He squeezes my shoulder. “But you should wait until morning to head out, for the sake of your horse if you won’t believe me about your own body.”
With that, Shade steps out through the side door separating his workspace from what seems to be a study. I glance over, catching sight of Coal leaning against the wall before the door closes.
“Is she all right?” Coal’s voice trickles through the walls. If I wasn’t so exhausted, I might feel guilty about eavesdropping on a conversation that the human they think I am would not have been able to hear—but as it happens, I feel nothing of the sort.
“Surprisingly yes, though she’ll hate you tomorrow. Did you lose your mind?” Shade asks, his voice more curious than angry. The shifter may have been more discreet with me, but plainly, he’s got other plans for a fellow instructor.
“Apparently,” says Coal.
A sigh. Shade’s voice hardens. “If you imagine you can use your cock to get yourself kicked out of an undesired assignment—”
“I wasn’t using her, you bastard.” The violence behind Coal’s quiet words is enough to make any sane being run for the hills. “And if you are about to ask whether I used my position to—”
“Stand down, Coal,” Shade says harshly. “I was not going to ask that, no. But if I did, you would bloody well sit here and take it. After what you just let your cock do, that is the least of what I expect. Are we clear?”
Silence.
I brace for the walls to crumble.
“Understood,” Coal says finally, his voice deflated.
“Then I’ve said my bit as your commanding officer, though I little envy you River’s wrath. If Headmaster Sage learns of it… It would be better if that didn’t happen.”
“I’ll be careful. On all counts.”
“Good.” Shade snorts. “Though as your friend, I’d say you need to lose your mind more often—not with a cadet, but with someone. You look better than I’ve seen you since we pulled you out of the islanders’ dungeon.”
“And you look worse.” Coal’s voice drops lower, until even I can barely make out the words. “You look like bloody hell itself. For a moment there, I wasn’t sure whether it was you or Lera who I’d worked to exhaustion today.”
Silence. Steps. A soft growl matching a second, equally demanding one.
“It happened again, didn’t it, Shade?” Coal says. “You lost time.”
“No.”
“How long was it?” Coal demands.
“Lady Leralynn?” The door to the treatment room swings open after a brief knock, and Rabbit—one of the Academy’s young pages—slinks inside. The boy takes one look at my half-naked body and drops the parcels he’s carrying.
Heart still pounding from both the males’ conversation and Rabbit’s unfortunate interruption, I take a deep breath before schooling my face and voice to something that passes for civility. “Yes?”
“I-I was asked to bring this to you,” Rabbit sputters, thrusting the first of his dropped packages into my hands, his eyes darting about in search of someone else. Someone who he clearly little wishes to find. Ever. “Master Coal—”
“Is unlikely to smite you on sight,” I say, ignoring the boy’s “you know nothing” look. Glancing inside my bag, I find a set of my own clothes, as River promised. No gray uniform in sight, thank the stars. “If the other delivery is for him, I’ll make sure he gets it.”
Rabbit skitters off before the words finish leaving my mouth. In the study, the males’ conversation has gotten too quiet for even my ears. Damn. Letting the blanket fall to the floor, I pull out the delivered dry clothes and don the soft black pants, their warm, thick fabric soothing against my skin. I pull out the vibrant tunic next, jumping slightly when something heavy slips between the cloth and falls to the marble floor with a high-pitched clink.
Following the item down, I feel my whole body go rigid as I behold a round rune-inscribed disk spinning like a top on the marble. Even here, in the mortal realm, the disk’s magic sings to me, naming itself precious. Beside it, a scrap of paper nearly flutters from the tiny breeze.
Picking the paper up with shaking fingers, I unwrap the scrap.
I think this is yours.
No name. No signature. Just a note and the key to Mystwood.
16
Lera
Questions and excitement thunder through me, my hands fumbling in the hurry to tuck the precious disk away before anyone might see it. With the trousers unfortunately missing pockets, I slide the key into the waistband, covering it quickly with the provided tunic. The clothes are mine, so whoever put the precious amulet there had access to my room. Or else intercepted Rabbit on his way to deliver the clothes.
Still, who? Gavriel is the only one who knows the truth of my situation, and he’d have little cause to hide the artifact in some clothes. The note itself sheds no information, but I throw it into the fire nonetheless, lest someone recognize the handwriting that means nothing to me. With what Gavriel and Coal have both confirmed about the situation, just being associated with the fae-crafted disk could land someone in a dungeon.
Reality thuds through me. I have a way back. It’s real now—I’m leaving. Leaving the males and going for help. It’s the right thing to do.
Isn’t it?
“Master Shade!” The smooth, musical voice comes from the corridor just as the flame finishes lapping up the note. A fist knocks against the doorframe. “Master Shade, we need your help!”
The side and front doors to the workroom open together, one to admit Shade and Coal, the other to reveal a horde of five young women all circled around Tye. In his training grays, Tye holds his shoulder, which looks utterly in the wrong place, his face tight with pain. Seeing me, the male’s emerald eyes focus through the glaze.
“Are you all right, lass?” Tye asks.
Princess Katita’s flashing teal glare is hot enough to burn me, though her porcelain features smooth to concern as she turns to put a hand on Tye’s back. “Can you see to Tyelor, Master Shade?” she asks again. “He’s injured himself in training.”
Tye shifts his weight away from Katita, his nostrils flaring in a way that makes heat rise to my face. My damn males are all too familiar with my scent. And each other’s. Despite a taut face, Tye manages to raise his eyebrows at me, wiggling them with a hint of an amused grin that makes me want to both slap him and wrap my arms around his neck.
At the back of the room, Coal grabs the bag Rabbit
left for him and disappears to change, the marks my nails left on his strong back catching in the firelight.
“What happened?” Shade wades through Tye’s sea of female admirers to clear a path to the worktable. “Ladies, I believe I can take care of Tyelor from here. Thank you for bringing him.”
“Yes, everyone out,” Katita says, her voice one used to giving orders and having them obeyed. “Tyelor doesn’t need you hovering about him, and Master Shade needs room to work.” Hand crossed over her chest, the tall blond princess watches with satisfaction as the other girls step back at once, yielding to her command as quickly and gracefully as they will probably one day do in the throne room. With her gorgeous curves and long legs, Katita owns the long blue-green silk dress I’d be tripping over, making me feel positively stumpy. When Katita’s gaze falls on me, her brows tighten. “Are you deaf, wen—”
“I would not finish that sentence if I were you, Cadet,” Shade says, his quiet voice reverberating through the workroom. A pair of the girls on their way out pause for a moment, their wide eyes sprinting between the most powerful young woman in the human realm and the ethereally beautiful healer, whose kind eyes flash with a predator’s gaze.
The air tenses, only the crackle of the fire and Tye’s tight breathing to be heard. Shoulders spread wide, Shade steps between me and Katita, each step a careful placement of an animal’s padded foot. Coal once warned me that Shade truly is a wolf—and to be careful about confusing his good table manners with what he tears into for supper. Now seeing the transformation from the side, I truly understand what he meant. A muscle tightens along Shade’s jaw. “Lady Leralynn is my patient. But even if it were otherwise, I expect you to address her—and everyone in the Academy, from Headmaster Sage to young Rabbit—with respect.”