If I’m working away for a night, it can take two days out of my week, which is a big chunk of time. I rarely do social things during the day. Friends will often want to meet up if they have a day off, and I do see them very occasionally, but knowing how my body clock works, I know I concentrate best during the day before I start to tire, so I prefer to meet friends in the evening and use my days for work.
Friends and clients often say that I must be extremely confident to do what I do. Yes, I am, but I’m sure any woman being paid for companionship would gain confidence. My confidence has grown so much because of my job. I don’t feel nervous because people know what to expect of me and they know what I look like, so I don’t worry they’ll be disappointed. Having people pay to see me is great for my ego, especially when they choose to book me again and again. I wish, though, that I could be as confident when I meet men I like outside work.
Like most people, I’m confident in some areas but not in others. Put me on my own in a room full of strangers and I feel very nervous. I’m not good at talking to people I don’t know, because I’m never sure if they’ll want to talk to me. For my job, it’s one-on-one, and I know people have chosen to spend time with me, which makes me feel confident in myself. A close male friend, who understands about being self-employed, frequently tells me I have to take all the work I can get. What he doesn’t understand is that the reason I have been so successful in this profession and have kept a good reputation is that I’m very selective. I know he doesn’t understand why I turn work down. He thinks I’m crazy, especially when he knows I need the money, but I have to keep my self respect intact, and the only way I can do that is by doing things my way and only taking on dates when I feel my client and I will be compatible. This means I’ll be treated with respect and will be able to offer the sort of experience the guy is looking for. You have to have a very good head on your shoulders to survive in this business.
For example, I always make it clear that on an overnight date I like to start the evening with dinner out, not room service and I ask if that is the kind of thing they have in mind when they initially enquire. If a guy said he wanted room service or to jump into bed before dinner, I wouldn’t agree to see him – I’m not comfortable with either scenario, so it means I’m not suited to these people. When girls start compromising themselves, that’s when they lose their self respect. In some cases, they even end up hating men and some turn to drink or drugs to get through their work. It’s a downward spiral. But I can go on my dates and not touch a drop of alcohol – I often drive to my dinner dates, anyway. I feel that guys who will agree to wine and dine me are likely to be proper gentlemen, but I do realise this isn’t suitable for everyone’s budget. That’s why I often do special offers on lunch or dinner dates.
‘I’ve got a special on at the moment and a three -hour date is the same rate as two hours: £350.’ This was the text I sent last night to my date, hoping he would change our short, two-hour meeting to include dinner, one of my favourite types of date. Thankfully he agreed.
I travelled out to a hotel I hadn’t been to before. I waltzed in , nodding at the lady behind the desk, and strode on towards the stairs. Up I went, but realised I was surrounded by meeting rooms. Hastily, I called my date. ‘I’m lost!’ I whispered. He then apologised and informed me he was in an outbuilding. So, back I went, tail between my legs, past the lady at Reception , trying to look as confident as I’d been when I breezed in!
Alan , my date, was a friendly Irish man , about six feet tall, with a full head of dark hair; I would say he was in his fifties. He’d come to Retford on business and seemed quite flustered. Apparently, there was a petrol shortage (news to me), which might leave him stuck for a few days. Rather him than me!
He wanted to go straight out for dinner, which was fine, but he hadn’t given me my fee. Usually I ask, but it’s always awkward. This time I decided to wait until we got back from dinner and if he didn’t offer it, then I would have to ask for it.
I’d never done a three -hour dinner date before and thought it might be a bit rushed, so I knew I’d have to keep half an eye on the time. I assumed he’d be in a rush and would also be watching the clock, but he was really lovely and very chilled. We had a drink in the bar before perusing the menu. He mentioned his wife and said that he might need to make a call. I remember thinking, how can someone so nice be cheating on his wife? He seemed so genuine. We spoke about his kids, his teenage daughter’s and my job. He said he thought it was a dangerous job, but I said I thought pissed-up women shagging around in town at the weekend are in more danger. He’d never considered this before, but he agreed.
Alan didn’t seem concerned about the time, and we enjoyed our meal. He even asked for the dessert menu, which surprised me as I’d assumed he’d be desperate to get to the room. Neither of us ordered one, but we did have coffee. By the time we went to the room, around 45 minutes were left. I hoped he wasn’t going to be one of those that took forever to come, who tried to take the piss and get me to stay longer. In the room, he went to the bathroom to call his wife and I asked if we could get the money out of the way. He apologised and gave it to me. I lit my candles and went to freshen up when he came out the bathroom.
We kissed and caressed, before rather quickly removing our clothes. I went down on him, he went down on me and, as he knelt between my legs, grabbing at my breasts, it was clear he wanted to enter me, so I reached over for a condom. It was only a few minutes before he came and we lay next to one another in a comfortable, post-sex embrace. He then confided in me that he hadn’t had sex for 2 years. His wife was going through an early menopause and refused to take any medication , and he found it difficult to cope with the lack of affection or physical contact. I could tell he was slightly uncomfortable talking about it, but he said her personality had changed and she refused to talk to him about how she felt. I felt guilty for thinking badly of him cheating on his wife earlier, because I totally understood his need for affection and intimacy. How can she possibly think he’s going to accept a life with no intimacy?
CHAPTER 17:
The Wife Experience
T here’s one regular with whom I have all sorts of exciting experiences. Single and in his forties, I’m very fond of him and he’s very patient with me. The first time we were due to go away for a longer booking we planned to visit the Lake District. He asked me what I wanted to do, and I didn’t know
– I imagined it would be all walking, and I wasn’t particularly looking forward to it because my dodgy knees limit the amount of walking I can do.
Then I decided it would be in my best interests to find things to keep us entertained, so I started browsing the Internet and found lots of sites with various outdoor activities, which I mailed through to him. He was thrilled, so I suggested an itinerary that included a sailing lesson, quad biking, rifle shooting and spa treatments. I also looked into restaurants. He was really impressed with it all and booked everything for us; we had an amazing few days. Unfortunately, I found he was a really bad snorer and fidgety in bed. Being a light sleeper I was constantly disturbed, but he very kindly offered to sleep on the sofa!
The next time we went away, I suggested Stapleford Park, a wonderful old country-house hotel. Again, I suggested the itinerary: spa treatments, horse riding, archery, off-roading in Land Rovers and a hot-air balloon ride. Unfortunately, they don’t have twin rooms at Stapleford, so he booked the top suite. I ended up like a Queen, with a curtained boudoir upstairs, while he was downstairs on a fold-out bed! I could still hear him snoring, though. Personally, I’d have looked at other hotels – there must be plenty that would offer two rooms for the price of that suite, or he could even have booked two rooms at Stapleford so we could both have a comfortable night’s sleep.
I look forward to our dates because he’s very easy to get on with, and he’s happy to go with the flow. I know it must sound like I’m not easygoing at all. I wish I was someone who could sleep any time, anywhere and with anyone! But unfor
tunately I can’t. My mum taught me to be a very considerate person and I’m always quiet as a mouse when others are sleeping, because I hope they’ll return the favour. When they don’t, I find it irritating. I don’t even flush the loo or put the light on in the night – I guess perhaps in that way I’m not really cut out for this escorting malarkey!
I know many people will be wondering how guys put up with me, but my good points must out weigh the bad, hence why they put up with my idiosyncrasies – which are mainly to do with my struggle to sleep. I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but I get a lot of repeat business and I do have regulars that I’ve seen for years who accept and respect me for the person I am.
So, what do I think about when I’m on the way to a date with a person I’ve never met before, and who I’m about to get intimate with by the end of the night? I rewound the thoughts in my head, which ranged from thinking about the pile of washing I had to do, to what I was going to do at the weekend. Various random thoughts, like many people have, I imagine, on their way to an average day at work. None about what my date would look like or what he would be like as a person ; no nerves or worries, nor was there excitement or anticipation , because I wasn’t even thinking about the date.
The only time I started thinking ‘work-related thoughts’ was when I wondered if I might be a few minutes late. With the works on the M1, I hadn’t made good time. Fortunately I breezed into the hotel a minute before my arrival time and managed to jump into the lift just as the doors were closing. There was a guy already there and, apologising for holding him up, I looked down and saw my bag was gaping open , revealing candles and vaginal lubricant. Lifts are awkward at the best of times – that uncomfortable silence when you don’t know where to look. I tried to discreetly close my bag, but it’s a Chloé (a gift from a client) and not the easiest of bags to close, so I just tried to hold it under my arm to squash it together and hoped nothing popped out!
I’d turned a hotel -room booking into a dinner date by offering four hours for the price of three; I wouldn’t have gone for a three -hour date in the room. If he hadn’t accepted my offer, I’d have offered to see him for two hours. He agreed to dinner, but when I discovered he’d booked our table for 7.15p.m., I thought he might be an eager beaver, wanting dinner to be over as quickly as possible so we could move onto the fun stuff. I knew the food there was quite nice, so I had no intention of rushing, no matter how hard he tried!
When I knocked on the door and my date answered, he wasn’t as I’d imagined him to be from his voice. He was older, shorter and much larger. Not that this was a problem, he just wasn’t what I was expecting. I think we all have images in our head when we’re meeting someone we have only spoken to on the phone. Very bubbly and friendly, immediately, I liked him. He worked in insurance, and we spent about ten minutes talking about his job, but it was clear he would just talk and talk without offering me a drink. It’s usually nerves that make people forget to offer, so subtly I suggested going to the bar for a drink and we made our way downstairs.
Immediately we started exchanging a bit of banter and I felt very comfortable as I love little take -the -piss digs. It’s what a lot of real couples do, and it shows two people are really comfortable with each other. After ordering our drinks, we sat down to carry on the conversation . He was really lovely, and didn’t seem to suffer SMS even though I was pretty sure he was single; he was from Essex and suggested I go there to visit him, which I don’t think he would have done if he’d been married.
We got to our table 15 minutes late. As we walked into the restaurant, me swinging my hips, we passed four tables with men solemnly eating on their own all facing our way, and I wondered if any of them recognised me, or if they were envious of my dinner date. I contemplated table -hopping, like speed dating, giving each of them five minutes as a ‘ try before you buy’ for another time! Dates can be great advertising for me. If anyone has seen my website, but hasn’t been sure whether to book me and then they happen to see me in the flesh on a date, this may prompt them to give me a call another time. On dates, I’ve had calls from people staying at the same hotel who have spotted me on my way in , asking if I can go and see them afterwards! I never do as I am always ready for bed after work and I don’t like the idea of jumping from one man to the other. I just don’t operate like that as I like to know in advance what appointments I have.
We spent the next two hours eating and chatting. He was fun and I found I could be myself more than I could with some other guys. I think it’s a great build-up to intimacy, foreplay of a sort, I guess, to have dinner and build up a connection with someone before you move on to an intimate level. If I just stay in a room with a guy I can’t relax enough, no matter how much we chat, when the bed is there looming in the background as a reminder of what’s ultimately expected of me.
He seemed to be getting a bit impatient when my dessert took a while to arrive, and then as soon as I’d finished my last mouthful, he was calling for the bill. My heart sank – this is where someone switches from being a lovely guy to an ‘eager beaver’, just wanting to get his rocks off. It’s usually these guys who don’t really care about pleasing me. I started thinking how the rest of our time together would drag, because I knew bedroom time would be all about him and I guessed that he would be selfish in bed. You might think I was overreacting, but it comes from vast experience.
Back in the room, it seemed I was right. Barely had I kissed him before he was trying to take my top off. I don’t enjoy it when men want to rush things – it’s a massive turn -off; I like to start with lots of kissing and caressing before any clothes come off. As I’ve said before, I offer my companionship, not just my body, and guys should respect that, not try to rush me. We had plenty of time there wasn’t any need to rush.
Within minutes he had, with one hand, expertly and discreetly unhooked my bra . I could tell he thought he was really clever. Shortly afterwards, I was almost totally naked. I knew this side of the meeting would be a big disappointment. He was, as I had predicted, one of those guys who just waits for me to entertain him. He kept saying, ‘I’m just going to lie here.’ Fine, I thought, but if you do, I will too. Where are the guys who like to savour and enjoy a woman ? He barely touched me giving me about two minutes oral sex before he tried to pull me on top of him. I think it’s so rude to pull someone about – it makes me feel like a rag doll, not a person . I kept looking over his shoulder at my watch, willing the time away, but it dragged.
He was close to coming when I was giving him oral sex, and then he straddled me and wanted to slide his penis in between my breasts. After a few seconds, he said he’d have to stop : he was about to come. I thought, get on with it! I told him truthfully that it turned me on when men came on my boobs; that was all the prompting he needed.
He went and fetched a wet towel to clean up the mess, and then we lay and chatted for the last 15 minutes or so. He said I wasn’t his first dinner date, but it was the first time he’d felt so comfortable. Well, so had I over dinner – it was just a shame the bedroom side of things hadn’t matched up. We said our goodbyes and he made it clear he’d like to see me again , so I obviously did something right!
As I left the hotel, I switched on my phone to receive a text from a guy called Ed, and a voicemail from him too, saying I’d been recommended by a friend and he wanted a late visit at the same hotel I’d just been to. That old chestnut! I’d obviously been spotted, and I wondered if he was one of the lonely guys I’d seen at dinner. I was tempted for just a second, but it was 11p.m. and my bed was calling.
CHAPTER 18:
So, why do men see escorts?
W omen today are so independent that I think some men struggle to work out their purpose and place in the family; they don’t get the reassurance they need. Women can get so wrapped up with family life, or with their job, there’s often a lack of communication that leaves both parties frustrated. Being natural communicators, women find it easy to sit and talk to friends and colleagues a
bout their unhappy home life, but men won’t.
Many of the men I see are very insecure and lack confidence. One guy I met asked me if he should shave his beard off, change his hair and have plastic surgery on his face! When they come to see me, I’m like a breath of fresh air: I’m nothing to do with their home life, family or friends, and they feel that they can open up to me. I’m a bit like a girlfriend, friend and therapist all rolled into one, and they leave a date with me feeling de-stressed and much happier.
I am sure there are some women who subconsciously know their husband or partner is seeing an escort or having an affair, but they choose to turn a blind eye. Suddenly he’s coming home from work happier, he’s looking after himself a bit better and he’s not pressurising them for sex, which eases the tension and makes home life more bearable. Guys often tell me they’re ‘happily married’. This either means they’re delusional and trying to convince themselves, or they’re happy with most of their marriage, but there’s little or no physical relationship. This doesn’t necessarily just mean sex – it can also mean kissing and general physical closeness.
I was sad to hear one guy tell me that his wife wouldn’t even let him put his arm round her in bed. And remember John, whose wife moved to the spare room and only came to him when she wanted sex? He wanted me to stay overnight so that he could share a bed with someone. I don’t even cuddle up in the night, but he just liked knowing I was there.
An elderly guy I met recently for a dinner date had been married for 45 years and had never cheated. He had also never received oral sex from his wife and she wouldn’t let him give her oral sex, so he’d never done that either. He was thrilled that I would let him give me oral sex and eager to learn how to do it. It’s surprising how many stories I hear about women avoiding the physical side of their relationship. Do they really expect their husbands will just accept that the sex and intimacy is gone? Ladies, it will never happen! You need to listen to your men. If you don’t try to sort out your problems, guys will either book escorts, prostitutes, or sleep around and/or have affairs. Generally men, though they may accept a relationship with no sex, can’t commit themselves to a life without it.
The Girlfriend Experience Page 21