He wasn’t even looking at the menu. I was struggling to stay interested in his conversation and I knew I wouldn’t relax until we’d ordered food. When the waitress brought our drinks and asked if we were ready to order, thankfully he just let me choose, which was perfect. Expertly, I reeled off our order and he seemed content with my choices. So, we got back to talking about him. He barely asked me anything – except to find out the name of the most famous person I’d ever met. I knew it wasn’t really a question for me to answer – he just wanted me to ask him the same thing. So I did, and he proceeded to tell me that he’d dined with the Beckhams and Jamie Oliver, and that David Beckham was really a lovely, genuine guy.
He then said, ‘Tell me about you.’ I hate it when people say that – it’s such a cop-out when they should be the one asking the questions, generally showing an interest. ‘What do you want to know?’ I asked. ‘Whatever you want to tell me,’ he said – another cop-out. He wasn’t really interested in me he just thought he ought to ask. I tried to sound enthusiastic, telling him about my family and background, but he didn’t ask one question so it soon fizzled out and we got back to talking about him. I really wasn’t surprised that he was single! ‘I’ve also met Princess Diana’ blah, blah… Eager to get the conversation away from him, I jumped at the opportunity to ask if he believed in any of the Diana conspiracy theories. That’s the kind of conversation I find interesting. If someone is ‘ me, me, me’, it’s just boring.
We had a leisurely dinner and after I’d polished off my food and had a mint tea , he asked if I wanted anything else and what time we had left. It was now gone 11.30p.m., so I said we had about an hour. He asked if I minded going to the room, which I thought was very polite of him. ‘Of course not,’ I said, with a smile and a twinkle in my eye, and we both stood up to go. When we reached the room, he confided in me that he’d forgotten to bring protection and apologised for embarrassing me. I told him I’d come prepared and had my box of tricks.
In the bathroom, I took my tights off while he lit the candles. When I came out, he said he’d lit them but they’d all blown out with the air con . The lights in the room were so bright, like big spotlights right over the pillows, which didn’t make for a very romantic, sexy ambience. In my heels I was taller than him, so I bent down to kiss him and he pressed his erection against me. I reached down and rubbed it through his trousers as it pushed, wanting to be released.
Within a couple of minutes, we were naked and on the bed, the big spotlights shining in our eyes. He clasped his mouth around one of my breasts and then sucked them both in turn before moving between my legs for a few minutes; he then came back up and lay on his back for me to pleasure him. I licked up his shaft and took the head in my mouth ; I could tell it wouldn’t be long before he came. After a few seconds, he muttered that he was going to come – just as I was reaching up to kiss him, to hopefully prolong his erection .
It was too late, and as I lay on top kissing him, his member squashed between my breasts, I could feel him pumping out his come. I didn’t move, and we lay and chatted for about 30 minutes, stuck together with me yawning as my beauty sleep beckoned. I stayed 15 minutes longer, before saying my thanks and goodbyes. He seemed happy and implied that he wanted to meet again . He was going to settle down to some work and I was off home to the land of nod after a relaxing bath.
CHAPTER 21:
Escort etiquette
S
o, what do I expect from a date? Well, here’s my general guide to escort etiquette. Do:
• Treat the lady as a lady, not a sex object.
• Treat the lady with respect. It’s not your right to see her it is
her choice to see you.
• Offer her a drink when she arrives.
• Pay the lady without prompting, within ten minutes of
her arrival.
• Consider her comfort above your own. It’s an escort’s job to
make their date feel comfortable, and the more comfortable
she is, the more comfortable she will make you.
• Let the lady set the pace. An experienced, good escort will
move the meeting on at her pace, taking into consideration
guy’s needs and personalities.
• Be patient when waiting for a response. So many guys don’t
remember to leave their full name and phone number, but they also forget we can sometimes be away for a few days. It’s fine to follow up calls and emails, as long as you don’t
get obsessive.
• Read all the information you can about the escort. We are
all very different and work very differently, so no experience
will ever be the same. Some ladies sell sex and some sell
companionship. It’s imperative to do your homework first,
so read all the reviews available as this will give you an idea
what to expect. A good escort site will be informative and
tell you about an escort’s personality.
• Discuss any expectations or specific requirements regarding
the date in advance, to prevent disappointment. For
example, if a guy specifically wants to have multiple sex
sessions on an overnight date, he needs to check that the
escort will be OK with this. I’m a one-session-a-night girl:
for me it’s quality, not quantity.
• Make sure you are freshly showered and shaved, and
smelling fresh.
Don’t:
• Try to French kiss or grope an escort on arrival – it’s considered extremely rude. You’re unlikely to get the best out of her if you put her back up from the start. If a lady does this to you (it does happen), and you’re uncomfortable, say you’d like to get to know her first.
• Ask personal questions or want to know about the guys she sees. Personally, I find it extremely patronising when people assume I meet idiots. It’s insulting for them to think I would put up with being treated badly.
• Ask questions that are already answered on the lady’s website. I get asked ‘How much is it?’ by people who claim to have read my site.
•Book a lady purely based on her looks. To save disappointment and wasting time and money, it’s worth taking the time to find out if she can offer you the experience
Escort etiquette you’re after. The more explicit the site is, the more you can assume the meeting is about the sex. If there’s little reference to sex and no explicit photos, don’t assume you can request or expect a PSE.
• Repeatedly call, but never leave a message. It’s a sign of an obsessive nature and I know I avoid people who always call without leaving a message. If it’s not convenient, your call won’t be answered, no matter how many times you try. We all have personal lives and it’s not always convenient to answer a phone call. I always think email is a good first step, as long as you’re booking a week or so in advance. Don’t rely on emails, though, because they can go missing, so if you don’t get a reply, it’s worth following it up with a voicemail. I like to hear someone’s voice before I decide whether to speak to them, so I often let my phone go to answer machine.
• Approach an escort if you see her out and about, regardless of whether you have seen her before. If you’ve met her before, it’s OK to catch her eye and see how she responds. If she wants to, and is able to talk, then she will. She may appear to be on her own, but she could be waiting for friends or family, or have a boyfriend, husband or child nearby. Think if you are married how you’d feel being approached by an escort if you were maybe waiting for your wife outside a shop.
• Ask for discounts. It’s extremely rude! You won’t get the best out of an escort if you try to haggle. Guys need to find an escort within their budget. Never contact one that isn’t, and then try to haggle.
• Be selfish and assume you can book a lady all night and not take her out of the room or feed her. I’d be off like a shot, so I do always check that we’r
e going out before arranging overnight dates. I also expect to be fed in the morning before I leave, especially if I have a long journey home. Some guys assume their escort won’t want breakfast just because they don’t. Again, the more thoughtful a guy is, the more he will get out of a date.
• Book an escort if you think there’s a chance you may have to cancel. Sometimes guys book multiple escorts in case unreliable ones cancel on them. We don’t take kindly to being messed around. In my opinion, anyone decent should compensate the lady for the inconvenience if they have to cancel. Girls do let guys down too, and that’s why guys should read the reviews and research properly before making a choice.
• Expect to become ‘friends’ once you’ve met a lady. I’m not escorting to make friends, so being contacted by guys looking for friends, with or without arranging a paid date, is not acceptable. Most escorts have busy lives and we simply don’t have the time to maintain friendships with everyone we see.
• Call during unsociable hours. I don’t return any calls left during unsociable hours; it tells me a lot about someone’s personality. I prefer weekday calls from 9–5, but everyone is different. It’s worth looking on the escort’s website and seeing whether she mentions a good time to call. If she doesn’t, I’d say that between 9am and 10p.m. is acceptable. Also, I wouldn’t call on a Sunday or public holiday unless you want to meet that day.
• Try to stay longer than the hours you’ve paid for, unless the escort initiates it. Some guys try and take the piss by tilting the alarm clock so the time isn’t visible, hoping we’ll get lost in the moment.
As I plucked the chocolate body sauce pen from the hanger in Ann Summers, a devilish smile played on my lips. I imagined how I was going to treat Tom for his birthday, drawing ‘Happy birthday Tom’ across my body for him to lick off. I’d also said I’d give him a £300 discount as a birthday gift.
My mind whirred as I thought about what else I would need for his birthday surprise. I scanned the rows of lingerie and my eyes settled on a short, sheer lace skirt and panties combo. It was crotchless, not that that would be much use as Tom never touches me down below, but I liked the skirt. Next to it was a rail of hold-up black stockings with small red bows, and I grabbed a pair.
I imagined the completed outfit, with my Agent Provocateur nipple tassels (a present from my gay friends), the birthday message on my body, the skirt and panties with stockings, and some killer platform heels. I thought I might also get him a little birthday cake with a candle. My friend Keith rang while I was shopping and I told him about my little plan. ‘You didn’t do that for my birthday!’ he said. ‘Well, you didn’t pay me £500!’ I replied, teasing him.
My date with Tom was last night. For a change I’d booked us into an Indian restaurant and we made our way there shortly after I arrived. He’d watched the footie and his team had lost, so he needed a bit of cheering up. We ate and chatted for the next three hours, before retiring to the room. It was freezing! I needed to warm the place up before I contemplated getting naked, so we put the heater on . Tom always brings an extra heater and a T-shirt for me to wear, as he likes me leaving my smell on his shirt. Unfortunately, his heater wouldn’t work. He fiddled with it, with me moaning how cold it was. I used the hair dryer to try and warm myself up. Eventually, we worked out that it would be warmer to keep the hotel’s heater off, as it was blowing cold air instead of warm.
I banished him to the bathroom as I set about the task of writing with the chocolate body paint. It looked like a child’s writing, and I was making a right mess and getting it everywhere. As I bent down to put on my platform heels, I smudged the writing. Oooops! I was about to add the nipple tassels to complete the outfit, when I realised the ‘h’ and the ‘ y’ were both around my nipples, so there was lots of chocolate on my boobs and the tassels didn’t stick very well.
‘Can I have a wank while I wait?’ asked Tom, shouting through to me. ‘No, you can’t!’ I exclaimed, ‘I’m almost ready!’ I got the little cake, lit the candle and then called him out. Cake in hand and covered in chocolate body sauce, I stood sexily, grinning away, and then launched into ‘Happy birthday’ in my best Marilyn Monroe. He laughed delightedly, ‘Ooo, Rach, you tease, you tease!’ Then he stood back and admired my artwork. I explained it was edible chocolate, but after four courses at the Indian, I don’t think he was quite hungry enough to lick it all off. ‘Your tits look great, Rach!’ he observed. ‘I think they’re bigger than last time.’ I always fuel his fantasy by telling him that they feel bigger, so I agreed with him.
He licked the bits off my boobs, and ended up with chocolate all over his face and mouth, like a naughty little boy. Then , as I got the feeling he didn’t want any more chocolate, I told him it was OK if he wanted to wipe the rest off, so that’s what he did. ‘Oooh! I think Percy likes it,’ he said of his penis, as he admired the lingerie I had bought. Black is his favourite colour, so I usually wear black lingerie and sometimes black clothes, too. I lay on top of him, squishing my breasts into him. ‘Oooh! That feels so nice, Rach,’ he moaned. Our short session ended with Tom relieving himself between my breasts – he normally does this when we’re together. It turns me on , so I quite enjoy our little sessions. It wasn’t long before little Percy could bear it no longer and he shot his load. Off he went to the bathroom to get a wet flannel to clean me up.
He then pulled out the sofa bed, I slapped a snore strip on him and we both settled to sleep. I’d met him at 7.30 and it was now midnight. I was the first to stir at 8am, and I listened to him snoring loudly for the next 30 minutes before popping my head up as he opened his eyes. ‘Where be my Tom to?’ I joked. ‘I be here,’ he replied.
He got up, put the bed away and jumped in with me. Percy wasn’t playing this morning, so I gave up on it and put the kettle on instead. We sat and had tea before I left him to it. I think he appreciated his little birthday treat!
CHAPTER 22:
The kinky jobs
I’ve had some odd requests in my time. Once, I was asked if I was ready for a new type of sexual experience, money no object. Even though I knew it was going to be something dodgy, curiosity got the better of me. I asked the guy in question exactly what it would involve, and was informed that I would stay with him on his boat in the Caribbean, which he shared with his ‘darlings’ – five Bonobo chimpanzees – and a doctor. He didn’t actually ask me to have sex with them, but he insisted they were very well looked after and everything was very safe, so it was obvious what he was implying. Needless to say, I didn’t go!
Another strange request came when I had just started escorting and wasn’t an expert in dealing with calls, especially unusual ones. I had a call from a mother, who said she wanted me to have sex with her 15-year-old daughter while she watched. She even put her ‘daughter’ on the phone, and it did sound like a young girl. I was totally freaked out and didn’t know what to say – if I’d had any suspicion this was a serious request, I would have called the police, but it was obviously a wind-up, so I just put the phone down.
Most men like some form of anal play, with fingers and vibrators, and I guess that’s considered kinky by some. I’ve experimented with it with boyfriends. They’ve all professed to hate the idea (some men have the misguided view that getting pleasure from anal might mean they’re gay), but eventually, with a little gentle persuasion, they’ve all loved it! With work it’s not something I do as a rule, but very occasionally, if I’m in the mood and they’re ultra-clean, I will do rimming and have a probe with my fingers. One guy mentioned this ‘thing’ that some girls had done that he really liked, but said other girls had tried it and it wasn’t very good as their technique was all wrong. He said it was something one of his favourite escorts had introduced him to. I guessed that it was the finger in the ass, but he wouldn’t say exactly what he was talking about, so I decided to tease it out of him.
After about five minutes, we both stripped down to our underwear and I straddled him. He removed my bra and seemed pleased wit
h what was underneath. We then moved side by side, and he asked what I thought the girls he’d seen had said the best part of his body was. Straightaway, I said his bum. I think he was surprised that I got it right! I said, ‘Come on then, let’s take a look,’ prompting him to turn onto his front. I admired and squeezed his ass, and agreed it was very nice. Then I removed his underpants and gently parted his legs. I licked and kissed between his thighs and ran my finger between his bum cheeks, before sliding my boobs over his bum, up his back and then back down again.
Feeling particularly naughty, I reached for my lube and squeezed the tube above the crack of his bum, where it dripped between his cheeks. I then used my fingers to smooth it over his bum-hole and over his balls, and reached between his legs to smooth it over his penis. He was groaning and I could tell he really wanted me to insert my finger into his hole. His bum was getting more raised as he pushed it towards me, urging me on, and also giving me space to play with his penis at the same time. I licked his bum and teased my fingers around it, all the time alternating between his bum, balls and penis, now sticky and wet with lubrication. This allowed me to keep the movements fluid and my hands and fingers slid easily between them.
I then started probing his hole with my finger, while masturbating him with my other hand. I could tell he was close to coming. I hadn’t even given him oral sex and I still had my pants on. One finger was inserted into him, the other masturbating him. I could tell he was about to come as his groans got louder and eventually he turned on to his back and came all over my body. I know he was blown away by the experience because he said how amazing it was, so I’m confident I will be seeing him again.
The Girlfriend Experience Page 26