We occasionally met up for a drink in a local pub, and sometimes I’d be with my mate and we’d both laugh at the funny stores she told us about her escorting jobs. She’s had boyfriends since she’s been escorting and although I didn’t see her much, we’ve always maintained our friendship. Presently we catch up about once a month for dinner, and speak about once a week. We both chew each other’s ears off and support each other.
She’s been an escort now for eight years and I’ve known her over half my life. She’s one of the most grounded people I know, and to me she hasn’t changed as a person. I wish her the best of luck and long may our friendship continue!
Katie G, Matlock friend
I’d always known of Beki, as she was someone who certainly stood out in the crowd – I think the first time I saw her was in Harvey’s in Matlock and she was in some crazy rubber hot pants outfit and pigtails in her hair – I remember some of the other girls were turning their noses up but I was secretly quite jealous that I couldn’t get away with outfits like that! I also know Beki used to get bullied – some of the lads I hung around with used to slag her off and call her horrible names. However I never listened to any of this, and certainly never judged Beki when, through the Matlock grapevine, I would hear gossip and rumours about her and what she was doing with her life.
The first time I properly met Beki, many years later, we hit it off straight away, especially after I told her I was moving to Nottingham. We swapped numbers and agreed to meet up some time. Our friendship went from there and was assisted by our mutual love of Sunday afternoon wine and cocktails in the bars of Nottingham!
When I met Beki, I was fully aware of what she did for a living, and was intrigued to find out more about her and what she does. Beki is very open about her work, so it didn’t take long for me to hear all the juicy details. I don’t have any problem with what she does, she is professional in what she does and more importantly she is intelligent and would never do a job that sounded dodgy or that she didn’t feel 100% happy with.
Beki is an amazingly great person to be around as her personality is bubbly, friendly and warm. I think this is what makes her so good at what she does. When you are with her, she gives you her 100% attention and is always genuinely interested in what you have to say. Often when we are out having dinner and a good old chat, I catch myself thinking – wow, some people have to pay for Beki’s fun company, and I get it all for free!
I can’t imagine many other people being able to do what Beki does so well, she runs a tight ship, is very organised and works very hard especially with her web marketing – a side of things that I don’t think too many people think about.
I am proud to be Beki’s friend. Aunty Sue
The first time I met Beki she was about 7 years of age. She was always a lively child. I am her aunt, married to her mother’s youngest brother. From the very beginning Beki and I always had a special bond. We seemed to ‘hit it off’ even when she was very young. I don’t think I knew why in the early years but I do believe that we both feel we are different from our siblings. We are both interested in fashion and like having nice things around us.
I recall when she was about 8 years of age trying to put some make up on her. She ended up looking like a clown – we both thought it was very funny. Even at that age we had a bond.
When we first met I had no children of my own, so my husband’s nieces and nephews were the next best thing. We used to see the children quite often so we got to know them well.
I remember very vividly the first time Beki told me she was going to become an escort. We were in a café not far from where she was living at her mum and dad’s. She was looking for a phone for her new job. I asked her what her new job was all about and she said that men would take her out for dinner at their expense, and that she would be paid to spend time with them. I remember pondering if that meant she had to sleep with them. I am not naïve and perhaps I was somewhat in denial but I did not ask the question and it was not discussed at that time. My daughter Vickie, who was present, was only thirteen years of age so I thought it inappropriate to discuss. I did think she would be sleeping with them and I was not shocked knowing that her previous job had been a lap dancer.
It was some time before we discussed her job in more detail. It was at a family gathering after a few drinks. Beki confirmed that she did have sex on her escort dates.
Beki being an escort has never affected our relationship. She is still the same person. If I were to be asked the question ‘would you rather she did something else?’ my answer would be yes. But if what she is doing makes her happy then it’s her choice. If asked how I would feel if my daughter wanted to escort - naturally I would not like it. However Beki is not hurting anyone and some would say that she is offering a service to help some people, and that she plays a part in keeping some marriages together.
I do have concerns about her future when age becomes the better of her – what will she do in the future? After saying that, I know that Beki is resourceful so hopefully something will come along. Whatever happens I know that we will remain good friends and I love her for the person she is.
Vickie, my cousin
I can remember when Beki told me about her career move. We were in Matlock and she received a phone call from a friend. She told me that he was helping her set up a website, so I asked her what it was for. I can’t remember exactly how she explained it to me as I was about 13 at the time, but I can remember thinking, oh, OK, as if she was telling me, ‘I’m just popping out to the shops...’ It certainly didn’t change our relationship or my opinion of my cousin, I think maybe because she was older than me and I really looked up to her, but also because we were, and still are, close. Family gatherings were always the same; I don’t recall anyone acting any differently towards Beki.
As I grew older and understood more, I had a look at her website. I can remember being quite intrigued and asking her questions about the type of clients she would see, where she would go, what she would do. Some of it was very glamorous: she would get taken on lovely holidays, stay in beautiful hotels, she always had very nice clothes, shoes and handbags bought for her.
I guess the only thing I wonder about now is what job will she do next? How will she be perceived by potential employers? They will be looking through CVs and come to ‘Rebecca Dakin’ – what will they do, screw up the CV and not give her a chance? Because I know her, I know she is not the stereotype people may think of when they think of escorting, like Leanne Battersby in Corrie and how people looked down their noses at her. Will this image that’s portrayed hinder her?
My friend JZ
I met Beki about a year ago, through a mutual friend, out in a bar in town. We had all met up for a few drinks, and then a few of us, including Beki, went on from there to some other bars to go dancing or whatever. Thinking back, my initial impression was that she looked really good – I liked her hair and style – and that she seemed friendly, fun and quite sweet.
Although I hadn’t even wondered what she did for a living, someone already told me she was an escort by the time she mentioned it to me that evening. My initial reaction in my mind was pretty much, ‘Ah, that kind of makes sense’ as she had a look that fitted the discreet upmarket escort image: big boobs, slim legs, perfect make-up, elegant but glam clothes and shoes, sexy hair. Not tacky or too much flesh out, but pretty much immaculate and well groomed. I hadn’t glammed myself up that night and Beki was the kind of girl you might not want to stand next to, if she’s done up and you’re not, but there’s something in her manner that made me think, you’re safe, you are, it’s good to have met you, rather than feel threatened or insecure.
When she told me herself, as part of a wider conversation, what her profession was, I just said something like, ‘Ah, right’, and our chitchat continued as normal. I was aware some people might be a bit gossipy about her work, so I didn’t mention that someone had taken it on themselves to tell me. It wasn’t something that even mildly surprised or
shocked me, or altered my perception of her in any way. For a start, I’d only just met her, and whatever people choose to do is OK with me, I’m not someone to judge people or be disapproving. Beki seemed cool and genuine, and we just got on and kept in touch from then on.
As me and Beki got to know each other, my initial assessment of her was about right – she’s a great mate, considerate, fun and interesting to talk to, and we just easily became friends. Over time, I’ve also come to see the insecurities and contradictions in her character. Everyone has these, but from what I’ve seen so far, I think that Beki’s are very much linked to self-image and being desired on a physical level, and I do think this has influenced the choices she has made along the way to do with her career. I do sometimes find her principles odd or funny, or a contradiction to what she does for a living, but I understand she has managed to maintain a lot of her balance, self-respect and professionalism through this attitude, which could otherwise be easily lost or undermined through doing the work she does.
As for how it affects our friendship, it doesn’t. It’s just what she does to pay her bills, although I suppose it has more potential to provide the topic of discussion for a girls’ night in than my own graft does. It’s always interesting to hear about her latest job: she’s got these lovely tales of fantastic restaurants and hotels she’s visited, and then some cringeworthy stories. I don’t know how she does it when I hear about some of the clients; even just having to go for dinner and engage in conversation with some of these men would be too much for me.
Every now and then I do have to check myself to not be jealous of some of the bonuses of her job – 5-star hotels, jewellery, designer shopping trips and expensive cosmetics to help her look even better, all that kind of thing, but I know it’s not for me, so fair play and good luck to her. I bet plenty of girls disrespect or begrudge her, or see her as a threat, or become suspicious of her motives around men, or experience a whole range of issues, but these are results of their own insecurities about themselves and their relationships. I don’t have that so there’s no problems like that between me and Beki; she’s just my mate who’s doing what she does.
I’m glad for Beki that she’s writing this book, even if she has to burn certain bridges behind her, if it goes to print; I think it’s important she opens up the options for her future. The whole process of learning about writing and publishing is a new challenge and experience away from the escorting business, and that’s good news for her confidence and selfesteem. I believe Beki has loads of skills that she could apply to other careers. After all, she has been running and managing her own successful business for years now.
As for men and love – that’s the hardest one for me to decide how I feel about it. I can’t imagine there are many men out there who could really be unaffected by her work, if they were in a serious relationship with her. And I know Beki wants love, a man and a family in the future. I don’t think that can happen with the right kind of bloke while she still works as an escort, which is another reason why it’s good for her to be looking at moving out of that industry. And then she’ll need a really confident, secure man, who doesn’t get threatened by her past, and who can show her he loves her for who she is, and give her all the reassurance and attention that she needs.
Best of luck to her with the book and any opportunities it may throw up for her – I admire her motivation and focus, and I believe she deserves to continue to be successful in her life.
My friend, Daniel James
I first met Hazel Bazel (as I call her) when my ex-boyfriend and I were travelling around Australia in 2005. We all joined a coach tour that was picking us up from Sydney and taking us up the east coast of Oz. On the first morning, before anyone knew each other, we had to stand at the front of the coach and talk a bit about ourselves. I just remember Beki coming to the front of the coach and being so hungover that she could barely talk. She sat down before she had finished what she was saying and rested her head on the tour rep’s shoulder.
From this first meeting I made a few assumptions, firstly that she was about ten years younger than she actually is, that she was just like any other normal traveller and that she knew the tour rep. Turns out, I was wrong on every assumption!
As the tour went on, my ex and I became really good friends with Beki, and along with a couple of others, formed quite a tight little group. We obviously found out about what she did for a living as time went on, and I can honestly say it didn’t change my opinion of her one bit. She has the warmest character that you are naturally drawn to and makes everyone feel like she has known them for years – hence my assumption about the tour rep.
I think it was Beki’s openness and honesty that made it so easy to accept what she did for a living as if she had said she was a doctor or a lawyer. Even when Beki wasn’t in the group, nobody felt the need to talk about her behind her back, really because there was nothing to say that you couldn’t ask to her face.
In the situation in which we met, you get to know people really quickly and forge quite strong friendships as we were living in each other’s pockets for three weeks. At the end of the tour we vowed to stay in touch, which I am happy to say we have. We speak on the phone at least once a month and it is never a short chat – I need to make sure I have at least an hour free! Beki asks me questions about my job, and I ask her questions about hers.
I don’t know if my being gay has anything to do with the fact that I am more open to somebody else’s sexuality or how they use it, but I do know that all of my friends that have been introduced to her say what a lovely person she is.
My brother Andy
I was shocked and disappointed when you first told me you were going to be an escort, and I remember thinking there’s got to be other jobs, and I’d rather you did something else. I knew what escorting involved, and my view is that it’s upmarket prostitution. I guess there’s a difference between escorting and prostitution: as an escort you have to be able to present yourself well and be more adaptable socially than a prostitute.
I know that the job has given you some amazing opportunities. It’s well paid, and you’ve been to a lot of places, different countries and cities, fine dining and grand hotels, but at the same time, at what cost? Sometimes I feel like you’re degrading yourself. I don’t want to hear or talk about your work. In fact, the more I know, the more I dislike what you’re doing. Ignorance makes it easier to deal with. People know I don’t like talking about it, so no one mentions it or asks me.
From my point of view, you’ve had opportunities, done a lot and seen a lot, but it will be a happy day when you finish escorting. When this book is published even though more people will know what you’ve done, at least if anyone asks me I can say you’re no longer doing it. I don’t know if you’re now too old, but one job where you get to travel and use the same skills looking after customers and see the world would be an air hostess, but really, I would just rather you did anything other than what you’re doing now.
I will be pleased and happier when you do something else. I don’t think it affects our relationship, but there’s a big part of your life at the moment that I have no interest in.
Andrea, solicitor and lecturer
I’ve known Beki for around five years. She was our neighbour for a number of years, and I got to know her gradually during that time. Quite a few residents of the complex where we all lived were intrigued by Beki before any of us had even spoken to her – this was because someone had started a rumour that she was a porn star! To add fuel to the fire, they’d seen a huge waterbed being delivered, so gossip was rife.
Beki also stood out as she always looked so glamorous when she was heading out, so she certainly turned a few heads, and naturally, the men in the complex would brag that their neighbour was a porn star and wonder what went on in her apartment!
It was on a night out with all the neighbours, and after a few drinks, when I plucked up the courage to ask what Beki did and I was really impressed by her open, honest
answers to the barrage of questions that followed from everyone else (‘Do your parents know?’ ‘How did you get into it?’ ‘Do your clients visit your apartment?’ ‘So, does that mean you have to sleep with your clients then?’ ‘What are they like?’ ‘How much do you charge?’) It was quite fascinating as none of us had ever met a real-life escort before.
Despite being a world away from what I do, and still completely intriguing, I don’t think Beki’s profession had any negative impact on our friendship – Beki is a fun, kind and thoughtful friend, she just has more interesting work stories than I do!
My Aunty Kate
I have known you since I got together with your Uncle Will, so that would be about 30 years! I found out what you did for a living when you told me about eight years ago. When you initially told me I was quite amused, actually. I certainly wasn’t shocked, for some reason, but if you had been my daughter, I would probably have felt differently. You would think that someone doing your job would change fundamentally in some way, but you have always stayed the same. You don’t try and flash your money around, or try to outdo your brothers and sister materialistically, or your cousins. We don’t hear you bragging about what you’ve got, but neither are you ashamed about what you have achieved. You remain in some ways unworldly, which only adds to your normality. You haven’t gone off the rails either, which is to your credit as I expect you have mixed with some rather colourful characters on occasions!
The Girlfriend Experience Page 31