She felt terrible for using Nils to forget JP; she was going through a torment and a whirlwind of feelings that she couldn’t describe how she felt. But Nils would be her JP’s savvier.
By the time they were dating almost two years ago, she loved having sex with Nils, but last night was something inexplicable to her, she had never felt something like that, she couldn’t feel the same pleasure she had when she used to be with him before, the more she wanted to forget JP the more his image appeared in her mind while having sex with Nils, it was a horrible experience for her.
The more she thought about it, the more agonizing was the situation. But now she didn’t want to go back, it was not fair to Nils and she had to forget JP at any cost.
I can do, I will forget JP with Nils help - thought countless times since she returned to Nils.
To worsen the whole situation in which Carolina was in, emotionally she felt as if she was in a Russian roulette, because now JP was sending her several messages a day, asking questions about her about her boyfriend, she didn’t want to be nasty to him, sometimes she would reply, other times she just stayed in silence.
JP began to send her messages on a daily basis, several messages a day saying that now that he knew he couldn’t have her, he only thought of her, that he needed her, she was wonderful and that he wanted her.
Carolina was confused and happy at the same time for having provoked in him a reaction.
But it didn’t last.
The illusion exploded a few days later when Carolina realized he was like a child trapped in an adult’s body.
He act the same way as when child has to many toys, normally neglect who likes least, not playing with it and despises it because he knows that is available on the shelf, but when another child appears showing interest in the toy left on the shelf, he wants the toy back, just because the other child also wants it.
It was the same way JP made Carolina felt, if she wasn’t in a relationship right now with Nils he wouldn’t even contact her the way he was doing. If she was still available he wouldn’t show any interest or contact her, but now that he knew she wasn’t available, he was trying to get to her.
Unfortunate for JP, he chooses the wrong way to do it.
Carolina knew what he was after, he wanted only sex and walks away after like if nothing happen, he was probably thinking if they had sex once and it was nothing more than sex, it wouldn’t hurt continue trying the same thing as before.
He didn’t want her for a relationship, why should he?
He had her already for sex.
She knew he only wanted to use her and then throw away as a sex object again, it was pointless.
JP behaviour only made Carolina tried her best to invest in the relationship with Nils.
She continued to see Nils which was always charming to her; he was just a man that any woman would want to have, she felt grateful to be the chosen one by Nils.
Carolina couldn’t help but feel sad, because unfortunately JP and the whole text conversation would always lead into sex, there was nothing else to explore with him, and he made no effort to be nice to her, he wasn’t romantic or even strove to woo.
Like Tess told Carolina:
In his mind, he thinks that the first time was easy to take Carolina to bed, if it was the first time it will be the next times as well, so he would come for the same.
He was dry, cold and direct.
Gradually the relationship with Nils went back to what they had before and she really began to appreciate the moments with him.
At this point Carolina began increasingly getting hold mentally of JP whenever she was with Nils, but that didn’t meant she had managed to overcome the incomprehensible feeling she had for JP. She only managed to put him in a small corner in the back of her head, allowing continuing her live and living the best way she could with Nils.
JP continued trying to convince her that they had to meet again. At certain point she said him that she wanted to remain only friends, now that she had someone; he needed to respect her decision.
The following day JP says her, he will delete Carolina’s number, because he can’t stop thinking about her, continuing sending her messages that he can’t stop thinking about her, about being inside her again. The only way he could stop sending her messages would be erasing her number, that way he wouldn’t bother her anymore.
Now he wanted to stop contact her and delete Carolina’s contact.
She didn’t want to continue his text messages the way he was sending them now, but erasing contacts?
Do they need to be so dramatic?
Maybe they did.
Cutting off contact with him completely was the sensate thing she should do, but she couldn’t do it.
JP had a magnetic power over her that she couldn’t understand. She ended up convincing JP, managed to speak and try to be just friends, trying to keep her contact.
He replied with a message
"It isn’t very friendly when I just think making you oral sex"
Again everything was ending in the intention of wanting only sex and Carolina was tired of all that sex talk.
At this point Carolina had hoped that he would continue interested in her, just for her having the pleasure to say no to him, like he did to her before, he could start genuinely liking her.
She just wanted to feel loved by him that he wanted her for more than just sex; she still had the illusion that they could go out and discover each other.
But she couldn’t or wouldn’t tell him, he needed to find out for himself. And she wouldn’t leave Nils if he didn’t change the way he view Carolina.
Ignoring the fact that he only thinks about sex with her, which he wants her only for sex was very difficult for Carolina to remain indifferent to everything he told her, when she still has that secret wish to be with him again.
All that talk made her think about the extraordinary sex they had. It had been such a wonderful experience that every time she thought about it, she couldn’t help but blushing.
Always maintaining the same posture of an engaged woman, JP didn’t try hard enough to win Carolina to fall back into his arms again.
He didn’t get what he expected, and the conversation ended up cooling down naturally and they stopped to communicate with each other over time.
Carolina was convinced that he had forgotten her for good and she made a daily effort to forget him too.
Weeks and months passed by, she tried to live a day-a-day the best way she could, from time to time she find herself looking at infinity and thinking about JP, as soon she realized she was doing it, she diverted immediately her mind to work, forcing JP’s image to dissolve in the infinity of her mind.
The worst was over, she had put him finally in the past - she thought.
Carolina was sympathetic to many causes; one of them was particularly personal to her, breast cancer.
Carolyn's mother had died of cancer when she was young and since then she reads everything she could about breast cancer, learned about charity organizations and what they used to do.
Some of them supported the discovery for healing and others support women who were with undergoing treatments.
So every now and then she was invited to charity events, and always accepted helping in anyway and actively participates in what they needed.
This time it was an organization that intended to raise funds to open a centre to welcome women while on treatments in the hospital, where they could stay there to rest and recover from chemotherapy.
The organization held a charity ball at the Dorchester Hotel in central London. It was a diner gala and dress code was formal, meaning men had to go in a tuxedo and women with long dress.
It had been about six months since Carolina had switch a message with JP for the last time, although she hadn’t forgotten him, the fact that Nils be occupying an important part of her life, made her stop thinking about JP on a daily basis.
She overcame the anxiety to contact and thinking abou
t him constantly.
Tonight would be the night Carolina and Nils would appear as a couple in public, many of their friends knew they were together, but Carolina and Nils took it slow and every time they were together they rather be alone then going out to public events.
As Nils was a public figure in the fashion industry, he needed to be careful with his image and with what he was putting out there of himself, especially regarding his private life.
For Carolina it was a good thing that he cared and wanted to keep their relationship private.
When they started to date almost three years ago, they went public for the first time a couple months after they were together, it catch Carolina entirely by surprise, as she didn’t realize at the time how famous he was.
A photo from them went viral online and in the magazines when they walked out together hand in hand from Hakkasan restaurant in London, taken by paparazzi that recognized Nils as a fashion raccoon.
This time Nils said to Carolina he wants to keep it private for as long as possible, she was grateful as she preferred to stay in the shadows as long as she could too.
When Nils saw Carolina so enthusiastic helping organizing the gala ball with the charity committee, he knew he needed to be there and support her and her work. So he invited himself to go with her, she was very happy that he was a man who could be at her side when she needed him.
Both friends and the London society in general would be at the ball, she knew it was time to make their relationship public, including the press that loved one gossip from one of the owners from the UK’s largest fashions company with his new relationship.
Nils got to get Carolina to her house, coming already prepared with his slick tuxedo, it didn’t really matter what he wore, he looked always very elegant and because he was tall and thin every type of clothes always looked magnificent on him.
He was a man with excellent taste in clothe, it didn’t matter what he was wearing, he looked always very fashionable and everything fit him as costume made, probably they were, but Carolina never asked.
Getting a little nervous about tonight’s development, she knew it was time letting the relationship with Nils move forward, it was the right thing to do, for her, and for Nils.
He was the man who loved and respected her as a woman, hoping she could love him back the same way he loves her one day.
She started to believe that one day she really would get there, she deserves it and so does Nils.
At each passing day she learned to throw away her thoughts about JP whenever they insisted to return.
She started genuinely appreciate everything about Nils, every time she was with him.
Sometimes, very rarely now and then when she was alone, her thoughts slipped her mind without authorization to JP, making her missing him, whenever this happened she felt her chest pressed as if something very heavy was trying to crush her.
She ended up feeling guilty to think that she was betraying Nils in thoughts.
Replacing comforting thoughts which cut in total JP’s contact was the right solution, she knew he didn’t deserve her, she knew now she was only losing her time by hoping one day he would like her the way Nils likes her. Now more than ever, she was confident that she would forget JP completely one day.
Tonight it would be the night to put JP in the past for good. It would be a special night for Carolina; it would be the beginning of a new stage in Carolina’s life with Nils for a future together.
The occasion deserved a special dress and Carolina bought a label and expensive dress for the ball she want Nils to be proud of her.
She was about to get to the final touch, Nils rang the door right on time; she was ready to go with him to the event.
She wore a long and tight dress-shaped dark blue mermaid, on the top was strapless neckline with heart-shaped embroidered on the edges with bright Swarovski beads with open back, silver-heeled Jimmy Choo sandals, because of the dress length they were not always visible and a silver colour clutch to match.
It wasn’t Carolina habit to dress and wear clothing of expensive labels, but she likes to have a few pieces for special occasions, like tonight.
With London’s weather there is always the need of something extra, so she decides to put over her shoulders a long fur coat in white and gray.
Carolina looked pleased at the mirror seeing her so elegantly tight up, surprised with herself how amazing she looked tonight.
As soon Nils sets eyes on Carolina all her dazzled elegance, he was astounded how beautiful and over the top she looked.
She looked at his eyes like a movie star ready for a premiere. He smiled at her, approaching getting near enough to kiss her tenderly.
Without warning he knelt at Carolina’s feet, it took a moment for Carolina to realize what’s going on and why Nils was kneeling. Looking at her and pulling out of her tuxedo trousers a small box, at the same time he was opening the small box and looking in her eyes, he pops out the question:
“Carolina you are the most amazing woman I ever met, would you like to be my woman, and take me as your husband for the rest of your life?”
She was expecting tonight would be a night of changes, but she wasn’t counting having so many changes in just one night, when he asks her to marry offering her a beautiful diamond ring her heart freezes and all her blood seems to stop pumping in her body. She was completely paralyzed and in shock.
She wanted tonight to be a special night, but not that special, it was too much for her, and maybe it was just too much too soon.
Caught completely off guard she didn’t feel quite ready to move already to get married.
Again JP clouded her thoughts, feeling numb not knowing what to answer, but she knew what would be the right answer.
Nils waited kneeled patiently a few seconds, what seem to be an eternity for both for an answer.
The only thing Carolina was able to do, was meeting and hugging him with tender she couldn’t speak, neither yes nor no.
She couldn’t open her mouth.
She was terrified.
Recovering slowly, she takes her hands to Nils shrugged making an effort to raise him from the ground. He looks at her confused.
"I thought this was what you wanted"
"And I want to but you caught me completely off guard and I was chocked, sorry"
They sat for a moment in Carolina’s coach, without saying another word he reaches the ring inside the box and puts the diamond on Carolina’s finger.
She let him put the ring on her finger, she was not sure she was ready to take the next step, but still thought it would take some time to planning the wedding it would give her time to get used to the idea, it was the right decision.
After the ring in her finger, she looked at the ring and to Nils, she knew he was expecting a comment and said to him:
“It’s the most beautiful ring I ever seen”.
Hugging and given him a sweet kiss.
They left the apartment engaged.
When they finally arrived at the hotel, they were escorted from the entrance to the hall before the venue room where they were served with a flute of champagne.
The waiters were very busy handing out champagne making all guests welcomed and happy, it was an evening with a good start.
The hall was filling up with guests while they took a sip of champagne they could appreciate art pieces for the silent action displayed all around.
The silent auction was usually done online, so there were at each table 2 to 3 Ipads with capacity for 10 people, with the description and prices of the products being auctioned. All guests could bid as they were assigned to a respective password.
The auction would follow throughout dinner and only at the end of the dinner, the action would be closed and the winner known.
Everyone could see the name in the Ipads who bids what and for how much.
When the room opened everyone started to step in and all guests could see a huge placard which whom would be with whom on each
table.
As Carolina and Nils had just bought two places, they would stay with four couples more, who they probably didn’t knew who they were.
It took them a few minutes to discover their table, and with great surprise they had as tablemates one of the greatest writers of England with his wife, a very friendly couple who was visible a big age difference the wife was definitely a wife-trophy, the other two couples were Carolina and Nils social friends, they meet before in several events when they were together for the first time, both couples were pleasantly surprised to see them together as a couple again.
The dinner went super fun with all people at the table, all the guests were delighted with the wonderful dinner there was a well-known band playing and singing. Carolina didn’t pay attention to the name because she was animatedly talking with one of the couples. She had to look into the book that was filled with the full night program, when she ready who the band was, she realize it was a band that had recently won a contest on television.
After dinner, everyone wanted to have fun, some wanted to dance while others were visibly curious about the auction outgoing to win the chosen pieces, so they continued to bid on the silent auction spending millions to help the cause.
Carolina and Nils bid on a painting both liked, was a well-known painter of modern art, they were hoping to have their first acquisition for their future together.
Life was starting to make sense to Carolina; she was starting to lose herself to Nils and seeing him as the man for the rest of her life.
As they were busy trying to see if they were still in the race for the painting, Daniel arrived to greet them and as soon he saw Carolina’s ring he showed genuinely happiness giving congratulations to both, making Carolina feel a little bit intimidated by the situation when she hadn’t even had time to adapt to the idea that she was engaged to Nils.
After Nils and Carolina greet all the people they knew and be introduced to many others, they went to the dance floor and danced music from the 80s together, he wasn’t a great dancer but it was fun to watch him, he struggled to follow Carolina, who slides on the dance floor if she had been born to dance.
THUG PASSION: Wedding Romance Page 8