“Mmm,” Griogar whistles softly. “Seems this might be a sore spot.”
I can hear the amusement in his voice. It is all just a game to him, I’ve never seen anyone like him but I think I understand him to some degree. I don’t know if he is just bored or why he does it but he plays with people. That is his source of amusement, he manipulates people like pieces on a game board but I don’t think he has any end in sight other than seeing what happens if he pushes the right domino to get the biggest effect he can. I put all my attention on him, reaching out to his beast I imagine a giant hand enclosing it and squeeze. I smile when I see his eyes widen and his voice chokes off. My eyes narrow as I squeeze harder.
“That is enough from you,” I say.
Suddenly, Griogar smiles broadly despite the sheen of blood sweat that appears on his face.
“I knew it,” he cackles, a strained sound as if he doesn’t have sufficient air.
“Knew what you son of a bitch?” I growl myself now, holding my squeeze on his beast tightly. I feel the monster in him scrabbling to break free but it is inconsequential.
“He is not your creator!” Griogar huffs the words out, still half chuckling despite the discomfort.
His words hit home and I realize I have screwed up; I have just revealed a big secret to one of the worst people possible. The Regent, ruler of the entire damn city, ordered Wolf to turn me into a vampire. He refused and now Griogar knows for certain. I’m sure he suspects Athene is the one who turned me as well. Damn it.
Wolf’s attention jerks up to Griogar instantly and I see him springing to attack just before he actually moves, I see it in his beast before his body can respond. A simple reach, a command, and he stops before it happens. I see his eyes widen and his attention flies back to me.
“There will be no more killing here tonight.” I say simply. “I’ve had enough.”
Wolf stares but says nothing.
“Oh, of course not,” Griogar is beside himself with glee. “This is much too precious; I cannot wait to see how this plays out.”
“You will leave this alone Griogar,” I squeeze just a bit harder on his beast enjoying the way he winces, but nothing takes that smile from his face.
“Oh indeed, the grand experiment that was Dallas is now just so much more interesting! I will enjoy watching this, oh yes very much.”
“You can leave now,” I say to him, dismissing the man in his own backyard. I don’t know where or when this confidence developed in me but I run with it. The beast purrs with power inside me, sated and ready to obey my commands.
Griogar pauses for an instant and I think he will refuse but then he chuckles and takes his leave with a flourish leaving me alone with Wolf.
We stare at each other, I don’t know what to say and even if he does, well words have never been his forte. I wait for something, some change, some break in the facade but nothing happens. At last I decide I cannot win a staring contest with a man who has practiced his stare for the last two hundred years.
“What now?” I ask to break the silence.
Wolf adjusts his cowboy hat, tilting it back on his head and tugs at his duster.
I chuckle watching him. He is as anachronistic as I could possibly imagine, looking at him you would swear he walked off the set of a Hollywood western. I can’t help it; I seem to have a weakness for strong, silent cowboys. I want him; I want so badly to feel his arms around me. He has avoided me since I became a vampire but now here we are. Which begs the question ...
“Why are you here?”
He looks away from me and his hands gesture emptily. I wait; I’m not going to let him off the hook that easily. I want an answer; I want to know why I wasn’t good enough for him.
“Checking on you,” he says at last as his hands fall to his sides, he still won’t meet my eyes. “Why are you here?”
“Griogar was teaching me how to cage the beast,” I answer and his eyes meet mine at last, anger smolders there.
“Why didn’t Athene teach you?” his voice is low and edging to that growl again.
“Her way wasn’t working. I lost control and struck the Regent.”
The anger in Wolf is gone in an instant and he is chuckling.
“Hit him good?”
“Knocked him across the room and into a wall.”
Wolf smiles a genuine smile, a look that says good girl, and my stomach flutters.
“What do you care? You walked away; you said I wasn’t good enough for you!” I strike to wound, words can be weapons and I sharpen these to inflict on him all the pain I’ve been holding inside. I see the damage each one makes, cutting not flesh but him directly. He starts to speak, his mouth moves and I know he is going to say something and I wait for it, want it, need him to say why but then he stops and just nods.
“Yeah,” he says.
I leap the space between us easily and slam my fist down into his face which surprises him. He stumbles back from the blow and blood sprays out of his mouth as I hear him growl.
“That’s it?” I can’t help yelling. “No reason, no why, just YEAH? Fuck you Wolf, fuck you, you god damn man whore making me think you cared!” I hit him punctuating each word with a fist, each blow landing solid with force fueled by the beast inside.
He takes each hit, falling back under my assault, barely defending himself and not returning my anger at all. With nothing for my anger to beat against besides his body it exhausts itself quickly and I stop, staring at him as my hands ache from the punishment I just dealt to him.
We stand a foot apart, staring at each other as emptiness fills me. Then he steps forward and embraces me, I resist for a moment but his arms are insistent. I give in stepping in to him, his warm musk surrounds me and I rest my head against his hard chest, his strong arms are around me and warmth and safety fills the emptiness. I wonder if he will apologize or maybe explain but then I realize I am just kidding myself, this is the most apology I can expect so I take it as what it is and let it go.
SEEING LOVE
Lily
LEAVING GRIOGAR’S HOME IS EASY, we see no one on our way out and the place feels deserted. Griogar has retreated so score to me and I am at ease for probably the first time since my change. I don’t feel the hunger waiting to pounce, my joints don’t ache, and the beast is quiet within me having been fully sated. It feels natural walking beside Wolf again down the streets that are the fringe of the City. The sky is just starting to lighten giving it a deep purple rose hue. It will be dawn in an hour or so. I can hear the distant sounds of traffic, sirens, gunshots, and people occasionally screaming. Gotta love this place. It doesn’t matter, walking here beside Wolf feels right, like this is where I belong and what everything in my life has been leading me towards.
I reflect on this a moment, it has been only a handful of weeks since that gang tried to rape me and Wolf saved me. It feels like years have passed since then; I have changed more and grown more as a person in these short weeks than in all my years prior. Of course I am also a monster, or at least I have one inside me, I’m finding that’s a big difference.
We walk in easy, comfortable silence. I don’t know where we’re going and don’t really care. I catch a hint of something on the air, noting that Wolf’s nostrils also flare and he frowns but he doesn’t stop walking. The scent is something I’ve smelled before but it takes me a moment to pinpoint what it is, then I remember it, sandalwood. It smells like sandalwood, just hints of it on the air. Then I hear the click of footsteps seemingly in perfect time with our own. Wolf doesn’t slow his pace but I catch his almost imperceptible nod so I mimic him. Confidence fills me where once I would have felt fear, there is nothing in the dark that can hurt me any longer; having faced down Griogar I feel invincible.
Wolf stops and looks down at a manhole cover, turns and looks back behind us a moment and then crouches down to lift the cover with one hand. His strength is no surprise, even though that cover would have taken two men to move it he makes it look easy. He lays it to
one side and looks down into the pit that is revealed; all I can see is a ladder set into the wall leading down into inky black darkness.
He looks at me and then motions down at the hole but I arch an eyebrow. He jerks his head towards it again so I figure what the hell and start down the ladder. I’m halfway down and despite my vampiric enhanced senses I’m sure I can’t see my hand in front of my face. I look up at the fading light of the street above and see that Wolf is standing over the open manhole. I hear him talking and I can just barely make out the words so instinctively I push blood towards my ears and I hear his voice clearly and someone else’s I don’t know. It’s a woman’s voice.
“Taking her to Calhoun,” Wolf grunts.
“Are you adopting the stray Wolf? I thought you weren’t going to take on anymore?” the woman’s voice says.
“You coming?” Wolf dodges.
There is a sound, I’m not sure what it is, maybe some kind of response from the woman, then the voice is clear again.
“Athene says she will come into her own soon. Calhoun is probably a good one for her to meet with; he might influence her in a good direction. Better than you or I could.”
Who the hell is this woman? She knows Athene obviously and I can only assume that they are talking about me and I bristle at being called a stray. I debate climbing up and finding out what is going on but part of me says that Wolf should tell me. I shouldn’t have to push him to be open with me. I also wonder at who Calhoun is and what it is he can show me. I decide to climb on down into the dark, I want Wolf to be honest with me and if he can’t then there is nothing to pursue between us.
I hear him on the ladder above me as I step down into the cold water that runs along the bottom of the tunnel. In the distance I can see a very dim light that seems to be coming from another tunnel. I step to one side to make room for Wolf while my eyes adjust to the dim light down here letting me see to a degree. I find a ledge that is a small walkway along the main run of the sewer which allows me to step out of the running water that is contaminated with god knows what, at least I don’t have to worry about diseases.
Wolf descends the ladder obviously knowing his way around as he doesn’t get down into the water but steps directly on to my walking ledge. He looks at me, tilts his head and then starts towards the lighted tunnel. We travel through the sewers for a while; I lose sense of time down here, there is just turn after turn. It smells of damp and must, sometimes like raw sewage, but mostly just wet and gross. We travel seemingly without any markings I can spot but Wolf walks with confidence, finally stopping at a gate which is fastened with a chain and padlock. He rattles the gate loudly creating a racket that echoes around the stone walls, going off and coming back to us at different distances, repeating over and over. We stand there, neither of us saying a word until the echoes finally fade away then I hear a step, scrape, step, scrape sound drawing closer to us.
“Hmm, visitors I assume, now who would come to see us this time of the morning?” a rich and soothing voice drifts from behind the gate.
I look down the tunnel and see a shambling figure making its way towards us.
“Ah! Dallas, what a pleasure I’m sure. Miranda will be just beside herself with joy that you’ve come to visit. It’s been many months since last we’ve seen you down here,” the figure exclaims once it’s close enough to see who we are.
I step closer to the gate and see the ugliest man I’ve ever met in my life. He has a distinctive curve of his back that bows his head down so it almost appears to protrude from his chest instead of a neck. The right half of his face is a mass of twisted scars, so piled that I can barely make out where his eye should be and that only by a slight gleam that emerges from one of the crevasses of the mess, that half of his head is mostly devoid of hair, with only a few greasy wisps, the other half of his face is normal if not particularly attractive. He smiles, a half smile, the deformed section of his face apparently unable to move. He reaches out to the gate with a hand that can only be described as claw like, a skeleton key in it which he puts into the lock springing it open. He wears a large trench coat that covers most of his body and stands slightly shorter than me, maybe four foot ten inches tall. He looks up at Wolf’s towering height then over at me.
“Ah, who is our young guest? Is this the one I’ve heard so much about? It must be, yes it must be. Miranda will be so excited to have another woman to visit with, you can only imagine how few are willing to make the trek down to see us and our work here keeps us from making it to Society very often at all, though I fear she does get quite lonely. I’m sure my incessant babbling must get on her nerves at times!”
I don’t really know what to make of this little man, his lovely voice contrasts so much with his appearance and I have no idea what he expects of me, so I stand silently smiling and wait for Wolf to say or do something. I reach out to see this new man’s beast and I’m stopped utterly. If I consider Athene’s to be caged in light than this man’s is not caged at all, I can barely sense it, what is there doesn’t even feel like darkness it is so light and airy, almost as a shadow of what a vampires beast should be and beautiful. If I closed my eyes and sensed only the beast and listened to his voice, he would be the most appealing man I’ve ever met.
“Need to talk,” Wolf pulls my attention back to the moment.
“Oh of course, but you must stay for tea, Miranda will not be pleased at all if you don’t. Tell me you will stay, she will be so happy to spend time with young Lynx here, I’m just sure they will get on fabulously.”
Wolf just nods to the man who then turns and shuffles down the tunnel. A few steps in he pauses and turns back to me.
“Oh! My manners have completely left me, I apologize. I am Nathaniel Calhoun,” he sticks his claw like hand out to me.
I pause and then I push myself to accept his hand, taking it gently in mine, social machinery kicks in trying to cover the hesitation. I’m not blind and I can’t help the slight horror I feel in reaction to his outward appearance.
“Lynx,” I say with only the slightest of stammers. He is being so nice to me and I’d hate to hurt his feelings.
Calhoun doesn’t seem to notice and he turns to lead the way through the tunnels again. What kind of place can he live in down here in the sewers? What kind of woman could live with this man? I follow quietly wondering what will happen next until we turn a couple of corners and come to a nicely painted door set into a tunnel. Calhoun reaches up and turns the knob and lets it swing silently open. He steps up into the entry way and we follow, I pause again as I enter his domain.
The room around us is beautiful if somewhat cluttered. There are lights that make it very bright, oak book cases cover most of the walls. A writing desk sits directly across from us covered in books, papers, and a quill pen in an inkwell. The floor is covered with layered oriental carpets, I can feel how soft they are, going from cold stone to this is the same as walking on the plush carpet of Athene’s home. The place is warm, comforting, and welcoming; a complete surprise to find in the city sewer system. There is a coat tree standing at the end of the short entry hallway where Calhoun has paused and is slipping off his trench coat to hang it there before bending over with obvious effort to remove rubber boots from his feet. Out of his coat he is dressed in a tweed jacket and slacks. Wolf stands behind him waiting for the man to finish and I stare around wide eyed. Everything about this man is lovely except his grotesque appearance.
“Miranda,” Calhoun calls out just as I hear a tea kettle start to whistle somewhere in the distance. “My love, we have guests!” He works his way on into the room, moving with his deformities obviously takes some effort for him, he huffs as he shuffles forward. Following, we turn the corner and I see a sitting area with high-back stuffed chairs that circle a low table. Calhoun makes it over to one of the chairs and settles in to it slowly. Wolf also takes a chair so I follow suit. Mentally I brace myself to be polite to whoever Miranda is, I don’t want to be rude again to these people who have welco
med me and been kind. The whistling in the distance stops and I hear the clatter of dishes then a sweet voice calls out.
“One moment Nathanial, the tea is almost ready,” she says.
Calhoun smiles and then turns his attention to Wolf. “So, Dallas, what brings you to our home?” he asks adjusting himself in the chair.
Wolf looks over to me, then back to Calhoun.
“Want Lynx to see another way. Regent had her in Griogar’s care.”
Calhoun’s destroyed face twists in a grimace. “Oh dear, well that is unfortunate. We’ll have to see what can be done. We of course are very happy to share our knowledge.”
I hear a sound coming towards us and I turn. There is another hallway heading off of the room we are in and emerging from it is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. My mind can’t process her, she is too perfect. I look for flaws but find none. She is about my height; just over five feet and her features are obviously Asian. She has almond shaped eyes; her hair is jet black with baby doll bangs and hangs straight down to the small of her back. Her skin is like the most flawless porcelain imaginable and her build is slight but in perfect proportions with itself. The Keeper, Katherine, is gorgeous but she doesn’t begin to compare with the woman in front of me. This girl’s beauty goes way beyond sexual, beyond any physically describable trait, she is beyond words. Katherine evokes instant hatred and jealousy when I see her but all I feel from Miranda is affection and grace. My mouth is hanging open I realize so I close it.
“Dallas, what a pleasure,” she says carrying a silver tray to the table between us. There is a china teapot on it along with small cups, milk, sugar, and small cookies. She sets it down gently and turns her attention to me. “You must be Lynx.” She extends a hand to me that I take automatically; I glance from her to Calhoun, then back again. She smiles and in a way that I cannot begin to process she becomes even more beautiful, like an angel come to earth.
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