by Ivy Spears
Asher sprung back, stung.
I was very aware of people looking at us now, curious about the scene we were causing but it was the last thing I gave a fuck about in that moment. I felt like I had been broken into a million and one pieces and left to die slowly all alone in the middle of the floor.
“Never touch me again,” I said slowly, lowering my voice.
“Bella, please,” Asher’s voice caught in his throat.
I forced myself to look up into his eyes. His eyes that were filled with regret and pain and a deep need to explain. But what was the point? There was nothing he could say. Nothing he said was ever going to be able to make this right. He had almost killed my father and then he had taken my virginity and heart without so much as a word about it.
Not to mention some innocent kid was in jail for what he had done.
But I didn’t want to think about that right now, the only thing I wanted to think about was making sure my father was okay and then I would deal with everything else. My father was the only thing I could think about right then besides the fact that I wanted Asher away from me.
“I never want to see you again,” I told him firmly. And when he made a move to come toward me again I shook my head, holding my hand up. “Get the fuck out of here, Asher, or I swear to God I’ll call the cops right now.”
And then I took off toward the room my father was in, trying to leave every part of him behind. I had never known such intense pain in my life and I was very aware of the fact, even during a crisis, that it would be extremely challenging to get over.
But I would spend the rest of my life trying.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The diner was overly busy the next morning, people from all over stopping in for breakfast. Most of them couldn’t wait to come over and congratulate me on my pop waking up. It was nice, actually. It reminded me that not everything in this town was bad.
But then I would think of Asher and I would start hating it all over again.
I had called in a to go order to sneak into my dad. I’d fought him on leaving but he had assured me he was fine, begging me to go get him some real food before he died from the crap they were feeding him in there.
It was like he was the same man I’d left behind all those years ago, no sign of the trauma that had happened to him at all. It felt unreal to me, I had been praying for this kind of result since the moment I got the call about my dad. Now that I had it I was extremely thankful.
Even if it did come with strings attached.
Extremely painful strings like the truth about Asher.
“How’s he doing, doll?” Carol asked, putting a huge bag of takeout up onto the table. “All the guys down at the station have been asking about him all morning. Apparently, they’ll only let a few visitors in at a time.”
I smiled, thinking about the intense amount of love that my father had gotten in the last 24 hours. Dozens of flowers and cards along with lines of people desperate to get in the door so they could see him for themselves. But it was important for my dad to rest, even if he did seem okay, he had just woken up from a coma.
“He seems like he’s going to be just fine,” I assured her. “They just want to keep him in the hospital for a few more days to be safe but the doctor says he will make a full recovery.”
Carol shot me her full smile. “It’s a miracle!”
I gave her a half smile and reached for my wallet. “I guess it is.”
She shook her head. “Oh, no, this one's on me, darling.”
“Oh, no, I couldn’t…”
“You just tell your pop to hurry back in for his bacon and eggs sandwiches he likes.” She patted the bag and leaned in closer to me. “He always gets three, you know? Tries to tell me he’s real hungry when he first wakes up but I know he’s bringing the extras to Earl Stevens down at the plant, things haven’t been so good with them since his wife lost her job but your pop would never make anyone feel bad, you know? Never go spreading that around.” She shook her head thoughtfully. “But that’s just the kind of man he is, you know?”
“I do know, actually,” I whispered. Something about the way she said it made me feel sad all over again. Partly because she was so right about that being the kind of man my dad was and partly because I was all too aware that we could be having a very different conversation right now. We could be having a conversation about who he was as opposed to who he is.
The thought of my dad dying got my choked up.
“Oh, isn’t this nice.” A sarcastic voice said behind me. “At least you don’t have to pay for your food, it’s nice really, I mean… some might look at it as charity but I guess people take what they can get.”
I winced and turned around to face Ashley.
She was wearing a pair of tight white pants and a black halter top. As always, her hair and makeup were made up like she was heading out for the night instead of just down the street to her local diner for breakfast.
So much for her leaving me alone.
“It’s always a pleasure, Ashley,” I told her sarcastically before turning back around and starting to grab the bag off the counter. “Thanks, Carol, I know he’ll appreciate it really.”
She smiled kindly. “Anytime, darling.”
I turned around but Ashley was right there crowding my space. “So, word around town is that you and Asher had a huge fight in the middle of the hospital yesterday.” She moved closer to me, pretending to give a fuck. “There’s not trouble in paradise, is there? I mean that would be horrible.”
I inhaled deeply. “Ashley, I’m only going to tell you one time to back the fuck off.” I was so sick of this bitch, sick of her giving me a hard time about everything I was already emotional about. I felt like I was one second from snapping her fucking head from her body.
“Oh.” A realization came over her face. “I get it. He didn’t want you anymore, right? He fucked you a few times and when he got bored he cut you off?” She smirked. “I wouldn’t take it personally, girl. Oh, who am I kidding? You should definitely take it personally.”
“Ashley, why don’t you get on out of here now?” Carol called over me.
But Ashley made no sign of moving, keeping her eyes locked on mine. “I told you he would be done with you. You aren’t anything special.” She looked me up and down. “Just another piece of trash he had to have a go at before he left you out on the curb.”
I could feel my body starting to take over, rage covering every piece of my being. “What the fuck do you want from me, Ashley? You want Asher! Have him! You win!” It pained me to say it but I had to. The two of them deserved each other, they were both fucking horrible.
“What I want,” Ashley said slowly, “is for you to go back where you came from and leave me and my Asher the fuck alone but now that your dad is awake you’ll probably end up sticking around even longer.” She snarled loudly and then lowered her voice so that only I could hear her. “It really is too bad he didn’t die that night, everyone would be a lot better off.”
I finally snapped, tossing the bag of food onto the ground and grabbing her by her skinny neck. “You fucking bitch!” I shook her by her hair hard and threw her onto the ground before I pounced on top of her and started hitting her as hard as I could.
All I could think about was the intense amount of pain I had been feeling for the past 24 hours as I slammed my fist into her face over and over again. I had never hit someone in my life before, I didn’t even know how I knew how to hit someone. But it felt like I had left my own body and someone else had come in and taken over, someone who was me only a more intense version of myself. A more badass version of myself.
And for the first time, I realized how Asher had felt that first night I had gotten into town, how he was so high off of adrenaline and rage that he couldn’t stop himself.
Because I couldn’t stop myself.
I could have gone off on her forever.
But then I was being pulled off of her. I wasn’t sure how long I’d bee
n on top of her before my body was being yanked backward and held there as I squirmed about.
“Relax.” I could hear Asher’s voice in my ear, snapping me out of it right away. Although, I wasn’t sure if it was his voice I was so aware of or his touch I was so aware of that did it for me.
Ashley laid on the ground for a few seconds before she jolted upward and started shrieking. “You’re crazy!” She placed her hand over her mouth that was starting to drip blood down her shirt. “An absolute lunatic!”
I pushed Asher off of me. “You’re right I am. And if you ever come near me again I swear to God I’ll fucking kill you.” I pushed passed her and took off out the doors, letting them slam shut way too hard behind me.
I heard Asher following me before he spoke. “What the hell was that, Bella?”
“That,” I said over my shoulder. “Was none of your business.”
“The hell it wasn’t.” He grabbed me by the arm and swung me around to face him. “Are you nuts? You just attached Ashley in front of a room full of people and then threatened her! She’s talking about going to the cops!”
“So?” I challenged. “Let her, tell them I’ll be at the hospital.”
Asher sighed. “I wouldn’t let her do that to you, Bella, I’m just… I’m worried about you. I mean,” he nodded over his shoulder toward the diner, “that, whatever that was, wasn’t you. You seem like you’re on edge.”
“Don’t pretend like you care about me now, Asher, your act is wearing thin.”
“Pretend?” Asher ran a hand through his thick hair. “I do care about you!”
“I doubt it.” I turned on him and moved away from him again.
“Would you hang on a minute, Bella?” His feet crunched on the dirt path behind me, struggling to keep up with my small frame for once. “I just want a minute!”
“You don’t deserve a second let alone a minute, Asher.”
“I know, I know that.” He finally caught up with me and moved his body in front of me again. “But if you would just shut up for a second you would see it’s not as bad as you think.”
“It’s not as bad as I think?” I laughed loudly and shoved him to the side, still high on what I had done back there. “I somehow doubt that. My dad only remembers seeing you the day someone plowed through his body and left him there like road kill and you pretty much admitted it.”
“I didn’t admit it!”
“You didn’t fucking deny it either!”
He winched in grief. “It’s complicated.”
I opened the door to my truck. “It’s actually not, it’s very uncomplicated. I told you I never wanted to see you again, Asher, and you have no idea how much I meant it.” I climbed in, trying to slam the door shut behind me.
Asher stuck his hand out and stopped the door effortlessly. “I didn’t fucking crash into your dad! I saved him!” He calmed down when he met my eyes and let his breathing come down a few notices. “I didn’t… I pulled him out of the car.”
“What?” I asked, in shock. “You… no, you didn’t.”
“I did, I swear to you I did.” He shook his head back and forth. “I was coming home late from a job when I pulled up to the four-way stop. I saw… I saw the flames first, and then I recognized your dad’s truck so I jumped out and pulled him out before I called 911.”
I looked up at him, trying to let his words absorb into me. “You pulled him out of his truck?” I shook my head. “But I saw the police report, it didn’t say anything about the truck being on fire.”
“No, you saw whatever Josh had in that folder. Your dad’s truck was on fire, I swear. I… I waited until I heard the sirens and then I left.” He closed his eyes. “I know I shouldn’t have, I just…”
“You left him there?” I choked out.
“I couldn’t… I couldn’t be wrapped up in any trouble, Bella.”
“Saving a man’s life is trouble?”
“You know what’s going on with Josh, Bella. He’s always hanging around just looking for an excuse to bring me back to court, to prove that his lawyers have enough to prove I’m not stable enough to keep his stepdad’s inheritance. I just, I freaked out.” He reached out and put his hand on mine. “It’s why I left that night and it’s why I freaked out the first night you got back and wouldn’t let you call the cops then either.”
I looked down at his hand, it felt like ice against my skin. I wanted to believe him, I did. I mean, it was Asher. Of course, I wanted to believe him. But who knew if he was telling the truth or not? I sure as hell didn’t at this point. I had never thought he would be wrapped up in that night in the first place.
And even if he hadn’t hit my dad, even if he was being honest now, it was a little late. He had still kept it from me this entire time. He had still waited for my dad to tell me the truth as opposed to him. If my dad hadn’t of remembered his face I would never have known.
And he had still left him there all alone.
I looked back and him and gathered up one more ounce of courage and then pushed him away from the truck with all the strength I had left. “You’re a liar, Asher, and I don’t believe a word you say.”
Then I slammed the door and peeled out of the parking lot.
Chapter Twenty-Four
My father looked around the barn with wide eyes, shaking his head back and forth. “I still can’t believe you did this is only a few weeks.” He ran his hand up and down the smooth wood of the wall. “I mean you guys must have worked day and night on it.”
I looked up at the beautifully polished railings that ran up and down the rafters up ahead. It looked like something out of a magazine it was so shiny. It was pretty amazing, even to me, that we were able to pull it all together so quickly.
I knew that it was mostly thanks to Asher but I refused to let my mind go there. “I knew it was important to you, dad, I wanted to make sure that it got done for you.”
I watched him move slowly up and down the rows of hay, a look of astonishment and glee on his face. It had been three days since he came home from the hospital and he still looked at the barn like it was the first time he had ever laid eyes on it.
I moved closer to him, trying to rest a hand on his back.
He waved me off. “Would you quit worrying? If you keep this up I’ll never learn to do things on my own again.” He shot me a crooked smile and shook his head. “To do something like this…” he let out a low whistle.
I knew what was coming.
My father hadn’t said anything about Asher since he got home from the hospital but I could still feel it in the air, an unspoken storm that was brewing and sure to come sooner or later.
“Don’t even go there,” I said, trying to nip it in the butt.
My dad shrugged. “What? I’m just saying for someone to pull something like this together in only a few weeks… he sure must have cared about you a whole lot.” He looked around. “This is, at least, a six-week job, and Asher got it done in less than two.”
“Maybe he was doing it for you, ever think of that? He probably felt guilty about what he did to you.” I refused to meet his eyes, swallowing the lump in my throat. “Besides, it was just an excuse to stay close so that he could keep an eye on me, make sure I didn’t get too close to the truth.”
I sighed heavily, hating how true the words felt on my tongue. This was why I hated talking about Asher, it made me think of things that I hadn’t before, things that were even worse than what I already had going on in my racing mind.
“That’s bullshit and you know it,” my dad grumbled, calling me out right away while he walked the length of the barn over and over again. “You’re just looking for reasons to hate him so it’s easier to leave.”
“I’m not, dad! And you know it!” I flinched at the sound of my voice, I was determined to not yell at my dad, he had already been through enough. “I don’t understand you, you should be the last one defending him after what he did to you. Or did you forget that you just woke up from a coma?”
“How could I forget with you reminding me every two seconds?” he asked but he had a smile at the corners of his lips. “I just think… if he said he wasn’t the one who hit me then I believe him. We’ve known Asher since he was a boy, he’s never been one to lie or run away from his problems.”
“He’s never had the kind of problem that could get him arrested before, dad. We don’t know how he would react to it,” I pointed out.
My dad shook his dead. “I don’t buy it, Bella.”
“Okay,” I sighed. “Let’s just say you’re right, let’s say he didn’t hit you and he did pull you out of the truck when it caught on fire… he still left you there all alone, dad, and he still kept it from me when he promised he was telling me everything. How can… how can a person get over something like that?”
“It should be pretty damn easy, darling.”
“How can you say that, dad? How can you say something like that should be easy after everything you’ve been through?” I shook my head. “You should be more pissed off at him than me!”
“Maybe it’s easy for me to say because my daughter has been in love with the man practically her entire life, darling! And the fact that I just went through everything I did is exactly what gives me the right to feel the way I do, Bella!” He wasn’t yelling at me but his words were laced with frustration; like he was trying to make me understand something I never would.
“Dad,” I whispered. “I’m not… I’m not in love with anyone.” But the words felt heavy on my tongue; like my mind was forcing out words that my heart wasn’t okay with.
“The hell you aren’t.” My dad shook his head. “Don’t you get it, Bella? Didn’t the accident teach you anything? Life is too damn short! I would do anything to have just one more day with your mother.” His eyes filled with water.
His words jerked me backward. It was rare that my father would bring up my mother, rare that he would touch on a topic that was so foreign to our relationship growing up. I had learned early on just how sad it made him when I brought her up so it was just easier for everyone if I didn’t.