One tear falls from his right eye and my heart erupts.
“I love you, Jason.”
In a split second, with four words, I’ve sealed my fate.
He is in my heart again. And this will surely be the end of me.
Chapter 9
JASON
Having Brittany like this again has my heart doing somersaults. And my brain is going into spasms as I look down at her and find so much I’ve missed about her and didn’t even realize it.
Her dark waves of thick hair are splayed out on the pillow behind her head. Her green eyes are sparkly and full of desire. Her red lips are slightly parted and waiting for a kiss.
My cock plunges into her over and over. Her body fits mine like a glove. It was I who first took her. It was this cock that pushed away her innocence all those years ago.
She was meant to be mine. And I had to go and have all these insecurities about her and her always being a part of me. A part I should’ve taken so much better care of.
My mistreatment of her made her lose parts of herself. It made her become a woman with no real heart. I can’t believe I did that to her.
“Baby, I love you.” I press my lips to hers as I grind my cock into her soft core.
I feel all soft caresses over my back and they move up into my hair as she opens her mouth and twirls her tongue with mine. Her hands have always shown me love.
The tender way she always touched every part of me was a thing I took for granted. No other has ever touched me with such reverence and feeling as Brittany has. Her emotions move right through her and come out in her palms.
If she couldn’t speak a word, I’d still know how she felt about me through her touch. She deserved more back then and I couldn’t give it to her. But I can now, and I’ll make sure she knows she’s loved and appreciated.
Her body arches up to mine as I move inside of her. Her breathing is hard and I feel the puffs of air come out of her lungs and into my mouth. I ease the kiss and look at her as I take her.
“You’re beautiful, Britt.”
Her smile is weak as she asks, “Is this for real, Jason? Is this really happening?”
I nod and smile as I slide in and out of her. “It’s as real as it gets, sugar beet.”
She pulls me back down and kisses me. Her mouth is hot and makes mine water as our tongues touch every part of each other. Seems our mouths have missed each other as well.
Brittany and I could kiss for hours. It didn’t always end up in making love, but seven out of every ten times it did. Her body has always reacted to me so well.
One touch from her can make my cock spring to life and one touch from me can make her instantly wet and ready for me. It’s like we were built for each other.
And I’ve wasted six years not looking for her. I should’ve looked for her. She wouldn’t have been hard to find. Shit, I think I could’ve Googled her name and found her.
But I have her now, and she’s never getting away from me again. The way she feels is better than anyone has ever felt. I’ve had more sex than most, and with more women than most, so when I say Brittany is special, then she is!
Her body starts to squeeze my cock and her arms tighten around me as she arches up. I want to watch her climax. I pull my mouth away and look at her as she bites her lower lip.
“Look at me, Angel.”
Her green eyes open and her hands move up my back to hold my neck as she arches up to meet each hard thrust. She grinds her body against mine with each stroke. The green of her eyes is dark; it’s like she can see right into my soul as she looks into my eyes.
“Please don’t hurt me again, Jason,” she says as her eyes go soft and I can see the fear behind them.
It breaks my heart. “I won’t. I promise.”
Her eyes close as she lets out an enormous groan and lets the orgasm overtake her. The way her body clenches mine and tugs it deeper inside her has me letting go as well.
The cum shoots out of me as I make a terrible noise that sounds like I’m being killed or something. Her soft insides quake and spasm; her legs are wrapped around me, holding me tight to her.
My cock jerks and spurts and lets out more than it has in a very long time. I ease my body down on hers and hold her until neither of us is moving anymore.
I press my lips to her damp neck. “I love you so much, Britt.”
Her hands move over my back and her lips touch the top of my shoulder. “I love you more than I even realized, Jason.”
I pull my head back to look at her and find her smiling at me as she runs her hand over my cheek. I run my hand through her damp locks and smile back. “I want to see this sweet face every single night.”
She giggles. “Oh, yeah?”
I nod and kiss the tip of her nose. “Forever, pumpkin-puss.”
She wrinkles her nose up. “Pumpkin-puss? Not sure I like that one, Mr. Odd Terms Of Endearment.”
“You’re right, it does sound a little weird. How about I just call you mine?”
Her heart pounds hard and I can feel it in my chest as I lie on top of her. She cuts her eyes away, then looks back at me. “You promise me you’ll never hurt me again?”
I nod. “I know now that you won’t put up with it. And I also know no other woman can make me feel the way you do. Add to it that I know how much I influence you and can make you do some terrible things. With all that new knowledge I can safely say, I will never intentionally hurt you again.”
She looks a little relieved. Then her eyes open very wide, and she hisses, “Shit!”
With a frown, I say, “Not the reaction I thought I’d get from saying that to you.”
“Jason, I’m not on any birth control at all and you didn’t use a condom!”
My body tenses and I roll off her and look up at the ceiling. I’ve broken my number one rule!
Then I turn my head and see her running her hands over her face and she’s gone so pale she’s actually glowing in the dark room. And in that moment, watching her freak out, everything clicks.
I roll back over on my side and stroke her stomach with one finger. “Don’t worry, doodle-bug. You and I are in it for the long haul, anyway.”
She shakes her head. “I’ll get one of those morning-after pills. That was my fault. I knew I wasn’t on anything. I make any guy I have sex with use a condom. It’s my fault, and I’ll take care of this situation.”
Moving over her, I hold her down and look into her eyes. “Don’t do that. If it’s meant to be, then it’s meant to be. If not, then that’s okay, too. Just let it all go the way it’s meant to. Promise me you won’t take anything to stop it from happening.”
“You’re crazy, Jason. We haven’t even decided for sure if either of us really likes who it is we’ve become. You don’t know the daily me anymore, nor do I know the daily you. I’ll get the pill to fix this little mishap and if we do work out, then we can decide when to have unprotected sex again.”
“If we work out?” I shake my head. “I don’t like that. It’s like you’re gearing up for us not to work out. Just do what I told you to and don’t get the damn pill. For the next week, anytime we make love, I’ll use a condom. And don’t call it sex. What we do isn’t that. It’s better than that. It’s special.”
She narrows her eyes at me and I realize I’m still holding her down. I ease up the grip I have on her and find her frowning at me. “I don’t like you telling me what to do. Especially about this kind of thing. It’s me who’ll be the one who ends up with an unwanted child if this doesn’t work out.”
“Unwanted? Do you mean to tell me that you wouldn’t want a product of our love?” I sit up and look at her and see her for who she’s really become.
The girl I knew loved kids. The girl I knew would’ve gladly had my children. The girl I knew would never have called any child we had, accidental or not, unwanted.
Perhaps she has changed into someone I won’t be able to accept or live with.
Tears cloud her eyes. “Jas
on, don’t look at me like that! I can’t help this. I can’t help that I don’t trust you yet. Please, try to see things from my point of view.”
“Now I feel bad,” I say, and pull her up to me and hold her tight in my arms. “Baby, look. I don’t want to force anything on you. If you want to take the damn pill, take it. I don’t want you to, but you’re right. It’s your body and you taking the huge risk.”
“Thank you,” she mumbles, as I have her held so tight her mouth is smashed against my shoulder.
I pull back and hold her so we can look at each other. “I want you to know that, no matter what, we stay together, we don’t, or what the fuck ever happens, I would never leave you to deal with a child who was ours all by yourself. Not ever. So do what you want, but know I’m here for you no matter what we decide. But I want you. I’ve already made my decision. In my mind, you belong to me already.”
And just like that, I’ve made my decision. This woman is mine. I will end things with the other women and God help any man who thinks they can lay their hands on what is mine.
I hope she doesn’t give me too hard of a time about that!
Chapter 10
BRITTANY
The ringing of my cell phone in my clutch purse on the floor of Jason’s bedroom wakes me up. I jump out of bed as I recognize my agent’s ringtone.
As I take the phone out of my purse, I see Jason yawning and stretching. “Hello, Reece,” I answer the phone.
“Hey, Brittany. I forgot to tell you this, and I know you’re going to be pissed at me, but you’ve been nominated for the ABCD Award for the best book cover of the year for the one titled, ‘Killing the Rainbow,’ so I need you to be at that tonight,” she tells me, igniting a spark of sheer terror in me.
“Damn it, Reece! What time and where?” I ask, as I try to find my clothes.
“The Plaza, at six this evening. Bring a date. I’ll see you there.” She hangs up and I go back to finding my clothes.
“What time is it?” Jason groans.
I look at my phone and see we’ve slept until three in the afternoon. I have no damn time!
“Three! Fuck!” I can’t seem to find anything. “I have to run. I’ll catch a cab.”
He sits up, rubbing his eyes. “No!”
“Baby, I don’t have time to argue. That was my agent. I have something to do in three hours that I knew nothing about and am not at all prepared for.”
He looks confused and I stop my search to go sit on the bed next to him as he says, “But, what about what I said? You stay here and that kind of thing?”
“You really want that?”
He nods. “Yes. I know you have work to do, and I promise not to get in your way. I’ll get my driver to take you to your place and when you’re done with work, you come back here. I can have him pick you up.”
“That won’t be necessary. He can take me home. I need to get there fast, anyway. Since Reece didn’t tell me this, I’m in a super rush. But I’ll have my driver bring me back here afterward. I want to get a few of my things, since you want to keep me here. Or would you like to spend the night at my place? It overlooks the East River. You might like that. We could have a late supper. I could call you when I get back and you could come over then.”
He looks like I’m talking too fast and he seems shell shocked for a second. Then he nods. “Yeah, I’ll come to your place tonight. I’ll bring dinner. I want to see how you live, anyway. You know, if you’ve turned into a sloppy housekeeper, that kind of thing, I might have to retrain you.” He smiles and pinches my cheek.
“You goof. I have a staff who keep my place up to the perfection you demand, master.” I kiss his cheek and he takes my face in his hands and makes me give him a real kiss.
The kiss makes me want to climb right back into that bed and get all over his gorgeous ass, but I have to hurry. One look into his blue eyes and I have to cut mine away.
“Damn, baby. I’m sorry. I have to go. I’ll call you as soon as I get back home.”
He lays back with a smile on his face. “I love you, precious potato head.”
With a laugh, I say, “I love you, too. And lose that little gem of a love name, will you?”
He nods, and I can’t believe how much my heart is already swelling with love for him.
I just hope he doesn’t make me regret it!
JASON
After waiting for hours, my cell finally rings at ten o’clock. I see it’s Brittany and I can finally breathe a sigh of relief. I thought she was going to stand me up, and I’d have to become a stalker to get through to her.
“Hey, baby. That was a very long meeting.”
“I know. I’m home now. Do you still want to come over? Or is it too late for you?” she asks, as I hear a lot of shuffling around in the background.
“I want to come over. You want me to, right?” I ask, feeling a little odd about things.
“I do want you too. So come whenever you’d like. I’m going to take a shower. So if you make it here before I get out, just come in and make yourself at home. I’ll leave the door unlocked.”
“No, don’t leave your door unlocked! That’s so unsafe. I’ll be on my way and will wait in the car until you call me. You can make me a key tomorrow. I already had one of mine made for you. I want you to come here any time of day or night. I want you to know you can trust me.”
“Wow! You never gave me a key to your little apartment back in the day, Jason. That’s a really big step for you,” she says, and I hear the shower start. “I’ll call you then. See you soon. Bye.”
Pulling on a jacket, I call my driver and get him to bring the car around. I’ve already eaten, and most likely she has, too, but I take a bottle of white wine and a takeout plate of sweet and sour chicken I got for her, as I thought she’d be done by dinnertime.
I suppose the book cover business is a little more involved than I thought it would be. Who would think a meeting would go that long over the cover of a book?
Then it occurs to me that it wouldn’t. She may have had a date afterward. Maybe to let one of her men down easy. But still, she didn’t tell me about it at all and now my hackles are up.
I think she and I need to make up some kind of plan on how we’re going to let our other parties know we’re out of the game. And one on one, in person, meetings with any of them are a no go.
Taking the elevator down to the waiting car, I give the driver a nod and get inside the car. My mind is kind of a racing mess with the idea she may have been alone with one of her boy toys.
I find I’m tapping my foot incessantly on the floor. To calm my nerves, I pour myself a drink from the car’s bar and sit back, taking a little sip. I close my eyes and mentally prepare myself to accept things if she tells me she met with someone.
She was never untrustworthy, but I don’t know about now. And I don’t know if she’s above retaliation for all the times I messed around on her. She could’ve been reeling me in so she could hook me and hurt me like I hurt her so many times.
Fuck, I’m stupid!
The phone rings and I see it’s her. “Hi,” I answer.
“You about here, baby? I’m out of the shower now.”
The sound of her voice sends all of my negative thoughts away and I relax. “Yes, I’m nearly there, I think. We’re getting much closer to the East River.” I lean up and ask Donovan, “About how much longer until we get there?”
“Fifteen minutes,” he answers.
“I heard him,” she says. “Can’t wait to see you, Jason.”
“Me too.” I hang up and feel a ton better.
I’m letting those insecurities resurface, and I have to learn to stop doing that. Turning on the television, I try not to think about bad things.
That’s always been my problem. I remember thinking a lot about Britt going off to college and forgetting about me. So much so that I sabotaged things with her before that even had a chance of becoming true.
In the end, she did go away to college and forget
about me, but it’s because of what I did that made that happen. It’s funny, and not in the ha-ha sort of way, how the things we’re most afraid of happen to us, anyway.
Flipping through the satellite channels, I find nothing that captures my attention. I’m more than a bit preoccupied with thoughts of me and Britt and our future.
It didn’t occur to me to ask her if she got that morning-after pill. I hope she didn’t, to tell the truth. It wouldn’t hurt my feelings one bit to see her all chubby with my baby.
Some would think me a terrible man who would want that so fast. But where this one woman is concerned, I’d like nothing more than to settle her down with me and start raising a bunch of little me and hers.
Something on the television catches my eye and I go back several channels and see the words on the bottom of the screen. It’s some kind of awards, it seems, and there’s a little blurb about it on the local news station.
I turn it up and listen as the reporter says, “Earlier this evening, some of New York’s top people in the publishing industry had a low-key awards ceremony. Authors, illustrators, and even book cover artists were there to receive awards for all of their hard work this last year.”
I find it interesting, as Brittany should have been involved in this awards thing. I Googled her and found out all there is to know about her work and she is very impressive. She’s won all kinds of awards for her book covers and to know she was left out of this is appalling.
The camera pans around the room of dressed up people and in the background, I hear an announcer saying, “And the book cover of the year goes to Brittany Caldwell, for her work on the cover of the book Killing the Rainbow.”
My eyes are glued to the screen as the camera pans around and, suddenly, Brittany is filling the screen, wearing a gorgeous gold gown and in the arms of some fucking man. Their lips touch for a horrifying moment and he says, “I’m so proud of you, darling.”
She cups the back of his neck as they gaze into each other’s eyes. “I couldn’t have done it without you, my love.”
The Surgeon’s Secrets Page 65