Betting on the Muse

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Betting on the Muse Page 14

by Charles Bukowski

place

  Frankel

  began talking

  again.

  there were 4

  other people

  and we

  listened.

  it wasn’t so bad

  because we

  all knew him

  and the house

  was set far

  back,

  not too close

  to the

  neighbors.

  but we had

  6 cats and they

  all ran off,

  out through the

  door,

  or they jumped

  out of the

  window.

  the night went

  on and Frankel

  expounded loudly upon

  the strange and

  funny things in

  his life, what

  he said to

  somebody and

  what they

  replied.

  he used different

  voices for the

  different

  people.

  well, the night

  finally wound

  down

  and we said

  goodbye to

  Frankel and his

  friend

  at the doorway.

  they both said

  they had had

  a good

  time.

  then they were

  in their car

  and backing

  out the

  drive.

  we sat down

  for a quiet

  nightcap.

  the silence was

  glorious.

  it seeped through

  us and we began

  to recover.

  then the cats

  returned

  one by one,

  looking around

  cautiously,

  lifting their feet

  delicately.

  life was returning

  to normal.

  nobody said

  anything.

  enough (had been)

  said.

  the bard of San

  Francisco

  don’t old poets ever

  die?

  this one fellow,

  you can see him every

  morning

  in the coffeehouse

  at his own table

  sipping a white wine and

  reading The New York

  Times.

  then he’ll go down to

  the pool for a

  swim.

  they say he has the most

  beautiful blue eyes in

  America.

  he dashes off on little

  trips to Paris and

  Madrid,

  then returns.

  he still gives poetry

  readings, reads

  well, has no fear of

  his audience.

  he can impress them,

  does, just for something

  to do.

  he is not embittered,

  refuses to

  gossip.

  he wears all manner

  of hats, caps, head

  gear,

  and whatever he

  puts on,

  he never looks

  ridiculous.

  rather, he looks

  dashing, he looks

  like royalty.

  he’s thin, he’s

  straight, he’s

  tall,

  and if the sun is

  shining anywhere,

  it shines on

  him.

  and his books

  still sell,

  handsomely.

  the male poets

  talk about him,

  they use much of

  their time

  talking about him

  and

  rather

  unkindly.

  the lady poets

  adore him.

  and the other

  ladies

  adore him.

  he is often seen

  with a new

  woman.

  he is very composed

  about it

  all.

  and with death

  looking over his

  shoulder

  he still manages

  to write

  decent

  poetry.

  on biographies

  if you’re dead

  they don’t

  matter.

  most biographers,

  of course,

  imagine things

  about their

  subjects

  that aren’t

  true.

  worse, they take

  your jokes as

  fact

  and the other

  way

  around.

  and in interviewing

  ladies from your

  past

  they will accept

  their

  pronouncements

  without

  question.

  biographies

  about writers

  are mostly

  tomes of literary

  gossip.

  and if it is about

  a living writer,

  by then

  he is often

  almost physically

  dead

  and

  in most cases

  absolutely

  spiritually

  dead.

  he will accept any

  amount of praise,

  ignore any

  criticism,

  congratulate his

  biographer

  on a job

  well

  done

  and wonder

  what

  took them

  so god-damned

  long

  to do

  it,

  anyhow.

  a real break

  I’ve heard it said that you

  give a real lively

  performance

  and there really isn’t

  much going on

  in this

  town,

  so we’ll fly you

  down,

  put you up in a nice

  hotel,

  you can have

  all you want to

  drink,

  we can rent this

  hall,

  it holds a real

  bunch,

  and you’d be

  surprised

  how many people

  around here

  know about

  you,

  we’ll pack them

  in

  and we promise

  you

  25% of the

  gate.

  we love you,

  man!

  how about

  it,

  huh?

  avoiding humanity

  much of my life has been dedicated

  to just that.

  and still is.

  even today at the track,

  I was sitting alone between races,

  in a dumb dream-state

  but dumb or not,

  it was mine.

  then I heard a voice.

  some fellow had seated himself

  right behind me.

  “I’ve come where it’s nice and

  quiet,” he said.

  I got up, walked about 150 yards

  away and sat down

  again.

  I felt no guilt, only the return of a

  more pleasant state of

  being.

  for decades I have been

  bothered by door-knockers,

  phone-ringers, letter-writers; and

  strangers in airports and bars,

  boxing matches, cafes, concerts,

  libraries, supermarkets, jails,

  hospitals,
hotels, motels,

  pharmacies, post offices,

  etc.

  I am not a lonely person.

  I don’t want to be embraced, cajoled,

  told jokes to, I don’t want to share

  opinions or talk about the

  weather and/or etc. and

  etc.

  I have never met a lively, original

  interesting soul by accident and

  I don’t expect to.

  all I have ever met are a herd of

  dullards who have wanted to project

  their petty frustrations upon me.

  for some time women fooled

  me.

  I would see a body, a face, a

  seeming aura of peace and

  gentleness, a cool refreshing lake

  to splash in,

  but once they spoke

  there was a voice like

  chalk scratching a blackboard,

  and what came forth as

  speech

  was a hideous and crippled

  mind.

  I lived with dozens of these.

  wait.

  the phone is ringing now.

  but I have a message

  machine.

  they are leaving

  one.

  this one wants to see

  me.

  it wants to invite

  itself over.

  a reason is given,

  some pretense.

  it is hardly a worthy

  one.

  the last words are,

  “Please let me know.”

  why do they want to see

  me?

  I don’t want to see

  them.

  can’t they sense

  this?

  am I the only one in the

  world who finds being

  alone to be a blessing, a

  miracle?

  must I always be kind to

  those who would wallow

  in my hours?

  am I an ugly soul?

  unkind?

  unappreciative?

  misanthropic?

  a misogynist?

  a crackpot?

  a bastard?

  a murderer of hope?

  do I torture animals?

  am I without love?

  do I reek of bitterness?

  am I unfair?

  am I the wrecking ball of dreams?

  am I the devil’s encore?

  do I put glass in the sandbox?

  am I without morals or mercy?

  if so, why do they want to keep

  seeing me?

  I would never want to see

  anybody like that.

  especially

  when I am

  shaving.

  WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LOVING, LAUGHING GIRL IN THE GINGHAM DRESS?

  Harry reached over and switched off the table lamp. It had been a wasted night: nothing on tv as usual, nothing to read. It was 12:30 a.m. At least, he hadn’t gotten drunk. But maybe he should have. At least that would have been an accomplishment. But some nights you just wasted, and some days and some weeks and some years. He’d had some rough years but here he was, still alive, and some might even consider him a financial success but money meant little to him. He had no desire for possessions, trinkets, travel. One thing he liked was solitude and another thing he liked was the absence of trouble of any kind. Harry had had more than his fill of trouble. At times, when he looked back, it was amazing to him that he was still alive. But there were many lives such as his, he was sure of that.

  Well, sleep had always been one of his favorite escapes. Sleep was the grand healer, the equalizer. Harry slept well, he slept almost with a vengeance.

  Harry noted the full moon through the window, closed his eyes, inhaled, exhaled. A man didn’t really need too much. Just some ease of mind, a gentleness for the spirit. He was almost asleep when the phone rang. He turned on the table lamp, picked up the receiver. It was Diana.

  “I’ve got a flat tire! Jesus Christ, I don’t know what to do! I’ve got a flat tire! I decided to go to the 7-11 for some cat food and I got this god-damned flat!”

  “Listen,” Harry said, “you’ve got your Auto Club card. Phone them and they’ll come out and change your tire.”

  “I’ve tried, I’ve tried!” Diana screamed. “I keep getting a busy signal or they put me on hold! And when you finally get through to them it takes them hours to come! I’m terrified! A gang of guys drove by in a car and hollered at me! I might get raped!”

  “Look,” Harry said, “just phone the Auto Club once more. I’ve always had luck with them. Ten or fifteen minutes at the most. Meanwhile, I’ll get dressed and come over.”

  “I’m not going to call them again! I’ve used up all my change! This is the last call I can make!”

  There was some further cursing interspersed by screams. At the first opportunity Harry spoke.

  “Listen, I told you I was coming over. It will be all right. Please calm down.”

  “But you don’t know where I am! How are you going to find me?”

  “Tell me where you are.”

  “But you have no sense of direction! You’re always getting lost! How are you going to find me?”

  “I’ll find you. Tell me where you are.”

  “I’m on Ocean Street!”

  “I know where that’s at. That’s where you live.”

  “I’m not near where I live! I’m on a different part of Ocean Street!”

  “What’s the nearest cross street?”

  “Sepulveda! Do you know where Sepulveda is?”

  “Of course.”

  “You asshole, you’ve been living in this area for years and you probably don’t know where Sepulveda is!”

  “I’ll get there. Sepulveda and Ocean. I’ll find you.”

  “But you don’t know what corner I’m on!”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll see your car.”

  “Tell me exactly how you’re going to get here!”

  “I’ll take Western to Pacific Coast Highway, take a left, then take a right on either Crenshaw or Hawthorne, drive until I hit Sepulveda, take a left and go until I hit Ocean.”

  “Do you know where Lomita is?”

  “The street or the city?”

  “The street, you asshole!”

  “I thought you were at Sepulveda and Ocean?”

  “I am! But Lomita is the first street you come to before you get to Sepulveda!”

  For a moment Harry felt like hanging up. Instead he said, “All right, I’m coming over but after I get you out of this one, I never want to see you again. You got that? This is it!”

  There was a long scream. Then:

  “No, no, no! I’m going to kill myself! I’ll kill myself right now!”

  Diana screamed again. When she finished and began to sob Harry said, “All right, I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry. I’ll be right out. I have to get dressed first.”

  Diana reverted right back to her old self. “All right, do you know exactly where I am?”

  “Yes, I’ll find you. Now, calm down. We can fix this whole thing.”

  “Oh, you asshole!”

  “Now what is it?”

  “It’s just that you’re so fucking calm!”

  “Listen, Diana, I’ll be right over. I’m going to hang up. I’m on the way.”

  Harry picked his shorts up off the floor, got into them, got into his pants, his shoes without stockings, then stopped at the refrigerator, got a beer, uncapped it, drank it. It went down like a thimbleful. Then he went in and forced a piss so that he wouldn’t have to piss on Sepulveda, made his way to the car and drove off.

  As he drove up Western he looked at the people in other cars. They seemed quite rational. It was all very strange. Almost every woman he had ever dated had done time in a madhouse, or had madness in the family, brothers in jail, sisters who suicided. Harry drew these types to him. Even in the schoolyards, the mad and
the strange and the misfits had been drawn to him. It was his curse. But he didn’t have the cure, he just had the problem. And Diana was an extremist. Each time she got ill, she thought she was dying. She would scream and rant. “Jesus Christ,” Harry had told her once, “when I was on my god-damned deathbed I didn’t make all this fuss. All you can do is die.” The message had been wasted.

  Finally he was on Sepulveda. That was a relief. Sometimes Diana almost had him believing his own assholeness. Harry drove along, watching for Ocean. Then he saw the car. An Alfa Romeo. He had purchased it for Diana. Sky blue. Diana loved sky blue. He pulled up and parked behind the Alfa Romeo. There was no movement within the car. He opened his door, got out, walked up to the car. Diana was sitting there, staring straight ahead. Harry knocked on the window. Diana rolled it down.

  “O.K.,” Harry said, “I’m going to phone the Auto Club. I’ll be right back.”

  “You’re not going to leave me here! I’m going with you!”

  She leaped from the car door, stood on the pavement, hair in eyes, hands dangling oddly.

  “No, wait! We’re not going to phone the Auto Club. It takes them hours! We can do it ourselves!”

  Diana ran to the back of the car, came back with a tiny jack, plus a lug wrench about the size of an ordinary can opener. Harry tried the lug wrench, knowing ahead of time that it was useless. The nuts were frozen. They’d probably been tightened with an electric lug wrench. Harry got his own lug wrench and tried it on the wheel. It didn’t fit.

  “We’re going to have to phone the Auto Club,” Harry said.

 

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